Chapter Text
Pain. Pain was her only constant. Pain was her entire world. It was fascinating, the varying types and degrees of pain one could experience. She felt by now that she must be intimately familiar with them all. She'd lost count of how many times she'd regenerated, at least half a dozen, and her jailer was always there. Waiting. Waiting to slam her back into the restraining chair. Waiting to inflict more pain upon her body until she lost her physical form once more. Not that it ever came quickly. Her tormentor was quite adept at causing just enough damage to be excruciating but not quite enough to push her body past the limits. But she would bear it, nothing they could do would break her. Nothing would overwhelm the sheer fury pulsing through her core that sustained her. If only her jailer would leave her alone for just a little while...
The pain had subsided for a few moments and her physical form was still intact, that must mean questions were coming again. Slowly she looked up through her messy, disheveled silver hair. Normally she kept it back in a tight ponytail but the ministrations she had endured this session had ruined that. Honestly she'd prefer it shorter but Sky liked it—
Her entire body tensed with a differnet type of pain as the barest whisper of that name left her cracked and split lips. Muscles strained and flexed under her silver marbled ivory skin as she pulled futilely against her bonds for the thousandth time. The restraints could likely hold a Quartz so they'd certainly hold her. Slowly, with a ragged breath that shook the tatters of her plain gray star emblazoned jumpsuit, she relaxed. A small smile broke across her haggard face.
Sky liked it long.
Her jailer noticed the smile and snorted. “Smiling? Have you finally cracked my stubborn, foolish Pearl?” the Jasper grated harshly. The dim light of the sparse cell glinting off the orange gemstone set in her right shoulder.
Pearl. The Jasper used it like it was her name, and with such disdain at that, but it wasn't. To any Crystal Gem, especially a pearl, it was a name uttered with respect and admiration. There was only one Pearl and it certainly wasn't her. But the thought of Pearl filled her with a rebellions determination.
“My name is Dove, not Pearl,” she said in a high, clear voice. She raised her head and stared defiantly at the Jasper, her deep navy blue eyes smoldering above her elegant nose.
A gigantic fist slammed into her midsection moments later. She felt several ribs shatter at the impact, the sickening crunch clearly audible. She doubled up as much as her bonds would allow, all the air leaving her lithe body in one great strangled yell. The Jasper twisted her rough knuckles into her skin, tearing it open in several places as she slowly withdrew her arm. Dove consciously forced herself to stop breathing, a hard habit to break after all these years.
The pain in her chest was excruciating beyond belief, but it wasn't enough to force her back into her gem. Stars, sometimes she wished she were more fragile! The Jasper was barking demands at her again, a fresh wave of questions, but she barely heard any of them. Already she was focusing her mind, trying to remove herself from this place, searching for a memory to dive into. It was a trick she had developed for dealing with the torture. A way of distancing her mind from the anguished construct that was her body.
“You act like you're an actual Gem. It's pathetic. You're property. A pretty trinket, nothing more,” the Jasper scoffed as she slapped her casually across the face with enough force to make her vision go black. But she hardly registered it, her jailer's words were actually helping her slip away. Her mind insulating her in a memory three hundred years gone.
“You don't have to be someone's property or pretty decoration. Not anymore. You can be your own Gem. You are your own Gem.”
She'd been a shaking terrified mess the first time she met Pearl. She'd expected nothing more than to be shattered as she sat there on the ground, the gemstone of her Beryl master cradled in her shaking palms. She certainly hadn't thought to instead see the Terrifying Renegade stab her blades into the earth. Or extend a welcoming hand along with those inspiring words after she'd so easily dispatched Dove's owner. But Dove, or rather that frightened pearl that would become Dove, had made the first real choice of her existence that day.
She'd reached out and taken Pearl's hand.
It was a choice she'd never regretted, even now.
Her first time seeing the “Rebellion Headquarters” had been so jarring. She'd expected something cold, organized. Gems rigidly in their place carrying out their assigned purpose. Something akin to the Homeworld way of things, it was all she had ever known. It was all she could imagine.
She couldn't have been more wrong, or more delighted in being so.
In place of that she'd found a massive garden filled with so many colors and smells that she could barely process it. Gems from all ranks and castes were mingling together, working together, laughing together. Rubies bent over battle plans alongside Spinels, Quartzes strolled arm in arm with Ambers and Pearls. And fusions... fusions were everywhere. They seemed to come and go casually. Gems forming and separating all around like it was the most normal, natural everyday thing.
But the most spectacular thing to Dove was how everyone they passed stopped for a moment to nod at or salute Pearl. Whispered greetings of “General” or “Commander Pearl” met them every few steps. A few playful “Terrifying Renegade” remarks from certain gems even made their way to Dove's amazed ears. That last moniker usually earned a soft laugh and a light slap on the shoulder for the gem who spoke it. She couldn't believe that a pearl was afforded such respect, held a position of such power. From what she could gather Pearl was second in rank only to Rose Quartz herself.
The last gem to address Pearl by the “Terrifying Renegade” title dashed any remaining composure Dove had been holding onto.
She was a Quartz, and a large one at that. A towering Agate, Dove's head barely came up to her shoulder. Her coloring was what really made her stand out though. Pale, soft blue with bands of gentle white crossing her sturdy form. It was like the Earth's sky made manifest in the shape of a gem. It was only after Pearl gently nudged her in the side that she realized she'd missed something, that she realized she'd been staring.
“This my new trainee?” the Agate said with a lopsided grin directed down at her.
“Yes, she'll be joining you starting today,” Pearl had replied and then turned back to her. “This is Sky, she'll be in charge of your basic combat and shape-shifting training.”
Dove stood dumbfounded for a few more moments. Then she realized what she must look like and extended a hesitant hand in greeting, her cheeks blushing a deep gray in embarrassment. “Hello. I'm the Pearl belonging to Beryl, Facet-1C3M Cut-9XE...” She trailed off in her introduction as she noticed the frown on Sky's face.
“No nickname yet eh? We'll have to work on that. And you don't belong to anyone hun, not anymore.”
Dove turned to thank Pearl one last time before setting out with her new instructor but found that her savior was having a whispered conversation, punctuated by the occasional giggle, with a rather imposing long haired Kunzite. After a few moments she caught Dove staring and turned back to her, placing a hand on either of her shoulders.
“Good luck, show Sky here what we pearls are capable of.”
“As if you haven't done that a million times over already Renegade,” the Kunzite said with a rough chuckle.
Then with a reassuring squeeze to her shoulders Pearl and the Kunzite headed towards the center of the garden and Dove started forward towards her new life.
The next weeks of her life were the happiest she had ever experienced. Everyday was spent training, sparring and learning. She drank in all the knowledge given to her, almost faster than her teachers could give it. She was so eager to get stronger, to learn more, to be able to help...
Sky was there with her the entire time, she'd taken Dove on as a sort of apprentice because Dove had discovered she had a certain talent.
She could shape-shift like no other. It came to her so easily and Sky quickly took an interest in the level of her ability. Hinted that the Rebellion could use someone who could change their form so completely and so casually. And so they spent entire days out on shape-shifting tours. Sky drilling her on more and more complex creatures. After a week Dove felt like she must certainly be able to mimic the entire spectrum of fauna on Earth.
Then one day...one day she found a special form.
She had been walking through a field with Sky on the northern outskirts of the Garden when it'd happened. They'd startled a flock of avian creatures into the air. Dove stared on in awe as a wave of white winged its way into the sky.
“Alright hun, this will be your first time trying a form that can fly, watch me,” Sky said. The gem over her right breast glowed a soft blue-white and after a few moments Sky's large frame shrank down into the tiny, winged form. Her body covered with a shifting array of blue and white feathers. “Flight can be a very useful ability, but it's tricky, go ahead and shift but take it slow. Just some practice hops today.” Dove stared as Sky flew a loose circle around her head, then she turned her eyes back to the flock of white swirling above them.
She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. An unnecessary habit she had quickly picked up from the other Crystal Gems, but it helped her focus. The gem on the back of her left wrist flared with silver flecked white light. Her body quickly fluoresced to match and then her form melted down to match Sky's. Her feathers were a stark white with glimmering flecks of silver at their tips, they shimmered beautifully as she flexed her new wings.
“First try and the form is spot on, well no surprise there. Okay, let's try a short flight across the meadow to start with, then—“
Sky's words were cut off as Dove leapt into the air and zoomed upwards as fast as her wings would carry her. This feeling...it was exhilarating. And...and it felt so right. She quickly found herself among the snowy white avian creatures from whom she had borrowed her form. They cooed in surprise at the new arrival and broke ranks around her. She let out a laugh of pure elation which seemed to startle them even more. She spent her next moments gracefully dipping and swaying with the flock, learning and perfectly imitating their movements with just the most casual observation. She could have done this all day, but finally she noticed Sky waving and calling to her down below, back in her original form.
With some regret Dove left her new found friends and dove down towards her teacher. Moments before she met the ground she shifted, body flashing, and came to rest with a graceful front flip in front of Sky.
“That was wonderful!” she cried as soon as her heels touched the earth. “I've never felt so...so free before. Those creatures are so graceful and elegant. So untethered...” Sky was laughing at her enthusiasm and she threw an arm around her shoulders which tinged her cheeks with gray.
“Hun, I think we've finally found a name for you. We'll call you Dove, that's what the humans call the form we borrowed today.”
“Dove...”
She loved it. The name felt right as it passed through her lips. As it settled around her shoulders it felt like the last bonds of Homeworld were being cut free. She smiled softly and then wrapped her own arm around Sky, giving her massive shoulders a gentle squeeze. Then to her surprise she was swept up off her feet and into Sky's sturdy arms. She quickly wrapped an arm around her neck to steady herself and let out a small yelp.
“Come on Dove, we're gonna celebrate! It's not everyday someone gets their name.” Sky boomed as she began carrying Dove back towards the heart of the base. Her arms would squeeze Dove a little closer to her chest every so often as they went along and after awhile Dove plucked up the courage to gently rest her head against Sky's warm gem. And for once she wasn't the only one blushing.
She felt a happy, bubbly feeling in her chest. Everything was so wonderful, so different from just a few weeks ago. Who knew life could be like this? This...this is what the Crystal Gems fought for.
The warmth in her chest vanished. Destroyed by a horrible piercing sensation and the entire world around her shattered in a scream ripped from her core. Sky's arms were replaced with the chair, her flustered features with the contorted face of the Jasper.
“Welcome back, I thought that might snap you out of it,” she grated.
Pain flooded back into her consciousness. Dull and throbbing from her crushed abdomen and a new lancing fire in her upper chest. She looked down.
A small blade was buried half its length right in the center of her collar bone.
“Now...tell me...who...your contacts...are,” the Jasper grunted. Punctuating her demand with grunts of effort as she slowly pulled the blade downward through Dove's chest. It was in the center of what was left of the ragged star on her tunic now. Dove squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaking down her face, and doggedly clamped down on her jaw.
She wouldn't give the Jasper the satisfaction of hearing her scream again. This finally exhausted her captor's patience.
“Fine! Maybe another regeneration will change your mind!” she roared right into Dove's face.
The blade in her chest wrenched downward and she gripped the arms of her chair so hard as she arched her back that it was a wonder they didn't shatter. When the blade reached midway through her abdomen her tormentor gave a viscous jerk and twisted it a full 360 degrees before grunting and shoving the blade all the way in and out through her back.
This time she screamed.
The Jasper yanked the blade out with a self satisfied grin, she knew Dove's physical form was about to dissipate from the punishment. But Dove wasn't finished yet.
Her gem flared brilliantly with light as she leaned forward and shoved her face right into her tormentor's.
“You can put me through this cycle of torture and regeneration for all eternity and I'll never tell you a thing,” she spat. “Because I am a Crystal Gem.”
And then the light from her gem faded and sputtered, the strain from maintaining her ruined form finally proving too much. She vanished in a cloud of smoke. To a sweet, if temporary release.
The Jasper stood there, staring at Dove's gem.
For the first time since this interrogation started she began to doubt her ability to accomplish her goal.