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Merlin had learned early on that the world loved simple stories.
Alphas were strong.
Betas were reliable.
Omegas were to be protected.
No one seemed to notice how much that last sentence weighed.
Protection meant making decisions. It meant being accompanied everywhere, watched during the most delicate moments, watched with apprehension whenever an unknown alpha got too close. It meant others spoke of your future as if it were already written, as if your destiny didn't truly belong to you.
Merlin couldn't remember a single day in his life when anyone had asked him what he wanted.
They had asked him if he had eaten.
If he was okay.
If he had taken his teas.
If his protective collar was tight enough.
Never if he was happy.
As a child, he had thought it was normal. As a teenager, he had begun to hate it.
As an adult, he learned to smile, lower his eyes, and let everyone think he was a docile omega. It was infinitely easier than arguing with people who thought they knew what was best for him.
And yet, every now and then, something inside him rebelled.
It happened when he saw the alpha apprentices training in the castle courtyard, free to make mistakes, to fall, to get up again without anyone stopping them.
It happened when he heard the knights talk about the lands they would explore.
It happened when Gaius, with all the kindness in the world, reminded him not to go out alone after dark.
Always for his own good.
Merlin hated that phrase.
For your own good.
Those were four words that felt like a cage. Because he didn't want to just be safe. He wanted to be free.
He wanted to be able to walk through Camelot without feeling the stares, without the artificial scent of suppressant oils permeating his clothes, without every decision in his life being filtered through a single word.
Omega.
As if it erased everything else. As if he weren't also a sorcerer. As if he weren't intelligent.
Brave.
Stubborn.
As if his entire world could be contained within a biological category.
Merlin sighed as he arranged some herbs on the infirmary table.
Outside, Camelot was slowly awakening. Bells rang in the cool morning air, merchants opened their shops, and knights began their training.
It was a day like any other, or so it seemed.
Merlin had learned one other thing as he grew up.
The days that changed a life never began differently from those that didn’t
***
Camelot was different from Ealdor. In Ealdor, he had been the only omega. Merlin had grown up seeing himself as no different from the betas of the area, which had almost been a blessing.
And it wouldn't have ever been a problem if his mother hadn't decided to send Merlin to live with her uncle in Camelot.
Merlin had to give Uther some credit. For being a completely mad king when the words magic or witchcraft were mentioned, he was surprisingly also a fair king towards omegas.
Within the castle walls, there were only two omegas: Merlin himself and Lady Morgana's personal servant, Gwen.
Uther, after meeting Merlin, after getting close enough to smell him, the scent of strawberries and blackberries so sweet it could only be an omega's, had made him his son's servant, which was a not inconsiderable protection against visiting nobles and dignitaries.
Merlin had realized this at various points in his life in Camelot, when Alphas from different kingdoms approached in a threatening, or almost predatory, manner before backing off after smelling Arthur's scent on him.
They may have mistreated him as a servant, but at least they didn't mistreat him as an omega.
Merlin, therefore, supposed he had Uther's care for him and Gwen to thank.
(From what he'd heard, Queen Ygraine was an omega, and Uther had resolved to protect all her kind, in a way he'd failed to do for her.)
Merlin knew things were difficult for omegas, but he'd never seen the effects, because those things didn't happen in Camelot. When they traveled, the knights and Arthur were the best defense Merlin could ever ask for, keeping alphas and betas and anyone else who might get too close away from him.
So Merlin was completely taken aback when Agravaine got too close to him.
His eyes closed as the memory of their last meeting returned to him.
Agravaine took a step toward the table.
He immediately frowned.
"What the hell is this?"
Merlin turned, staring at him in confusion. He'd done what he'd asked, so he didn't understand his tone. "What?"
"The maps are in the wrong order."
Merlin blinked. "No, I..."
"And these reports?" Agravaine held one up with obvious disdain. "They're completely mixed up."
Merlin looked at the table. The color drained from his face.
They weren't wrong, Merlin knew. But the nobleman was always right, and Merlin was quick to say. "I'm sorry, I..."
"Are you sorry?" Agravaine laughed softly. A cold laugh that sent shivers down Merlin's spine. "That's surprising."
Merlin remained still.
"With the time you spend chasing the king, I thought you at least knew your job."
"My lord..." Merlin began.
Agravaine walked past him. "Perhaps I was wrong." He stopped close enough for Merlin to have to lower his gaze in discomfort. “Perhaps you're simply good at something else."
Merlin didn't immediately understand.
Then Agravaine smiled. A thin smile. Poisonous. Slithery. "Because, judging by what I see..." he said loud enough for everyone to hear, "...you must only be good at getting someone into bed."
By the time Arthur found him, Merlin was almost catatonic.
"Merlin!" Arthur's voice sounded panicked, though Merlin felt as if his head were submerged in water. "What happened?"
"He..." Merlin coughed slightly, shaking his head. "He..."
"He who?" Arthur asked, his panic intensifying. "Damn it, Merlin, talk to me!"
"Sire." Leon murmured, leaning closer and whispering to Arthur. "Perhaps we're too exposed here. We should escort Merlin to a safer space."
Arthur swallowed, glancing at his first knight before returning it to his clearly panicked servant. "My antechamber." Arthur finally said, putting a hint of alpha bite into his voice, unable to control his instincts.
"Of course, sire." Leon nodded and, aided by Arthur's other knights, helped a still-sensitive Merlin into Arthur's antechamber.
If Arthur's chambers were his lair, the antechamber was Merlin's domain, where the knights and Arthur were welcomed as part of his pack. Their scents filled the space, comforting Merlin when the servant needed comfort.
"What happened?" Lancelot asked.
Of all of them, he was the one most in tune with Merlin, much to Arthur's chagrin.
Despite the growl that had begun to form in Arthur's throat, the king was able to contain himself.
"I... he told me that... you only keep me around because I serve you." Merlin sniffed, speaking as he took deep breaths, following the rhythm Elyan had set with his own breathing, Merlin's hand on the knight's chest following him.
"You serve us?" Lancelot asked, still using the soft tone that always made Merlin purr when the omega was in a calm mood. "What do you mean?"
"You know... like an omega would." Merlin murmured, almost whispering, curled up as small as he could make himself.
"We would never do that!" Arthur exclaimed. "Who told you that?"
Merlin shook his head. "I can't say that! I... you wouldn't believe me!"
Seeing that Merlin was about to panic again, Arthur decided to stop pressing.
"You don't have to tell me now," Arthur murmured, adopting Lancelot's calm tone to the knight’s obvious his approval. "But I'd really like to know."
Merlin shook his head, almost mumbling, and Arthur really wanted to find the person who had hurt his friend and tear them to pieces.
He would.
There was time, after all.
Under the care and attention of the pack, Merlin finally relaxed enough to lie down and fall asleep.
Keeping his gaze fixed on him, Arthur murmured, ordering the rest of the pack.
"Keep an eye on him. I want to know who's hurting him."
The others' fierce nods reassured Arthur.
Their omega would be fine.
They would make sure of that.
***
Merlin noticed it after a few days, although at first he thought it was a coincidence.
He was leaving the kitchens with a tray of breakfast and, absentmindedly turning around, saw Sir Leon standing talking to a guard a little ways down the corridor. He crossed the courtyard and Sir Elyan appeared on the other side, as if he'd simply decided to take a stroll. If he was headed toward the stables, without fail, Sir Gwaine suddenly seemed to have a very good reason for being there.
They were subtle, but Merlin knew them too well, and their scent, which lingered after they passed, reached Merlin each time giving them away.
Confirmation came when he changed course at the last moment, entering a nearly deserted side corridor.
After a few moments, he heard a muffled curse.
"Damn..." muttered a familiar voice.
Merlin peeked around the corner.
Percival had stopped short, feigning an entirely unnatural interest in a tapestry.
Merlin snorted, crossing his arms and waiting to meet the alpha's gaze.
Percival gave him a guilty smile.
"Hello."
Merlin burst out laughing.
"You're following me."
"No."
"Percival."
"...Yes." Percival admitted with a sigh.
Merlin sighed, but there was no irritation in his expression. "Have I been assigned as a patrol duty now?"
He was accustomed to the knights' protective instincts. It was natural, Gaius had explained, since Merlin was an omega and they were a pack of alphas. Their instincts demanded they protect Merlin.
"Ordered to... well, not exactly." Percival scratched the back of his neck. "Let's just say we all agreed."
"Everyone?" Merlin raised an eyebrow, checking his scent and appreciating Percival's embarrassment.
"More or less."
Merlin should have been annoyed.
He was an adult, after all. He didn't need an escort every time he passed through the castle. Even if he was an omega.
And yet...
He thought back to the last few weeks.
About the person who had tried to harm him. About the fact that there was nothing he could do about it, given their different social standings. About the constant tension that had settled in his shoulders without him even realizing it.
Knowing that, wherever he went, one of the knights was always nearby...
It didn't erase the fear.
But it made it more manageable.
In addition to the knight’s protectiveness, Merlin also had to add that of the servants, who seemed to have organized themselves under the command of the fearsome cook Mary.
In the kitchens, someone always saved him a hot meal, even when he was late. If he carried something heavy, two pairs of hands would appear ready to help him before he could even think of asking for help. When he ended up working alone in a secluded wing of the castle, it wasn't long before another servant would find some excuse to join him.
"Have you seen this bucket by any chance?"
"I think I lost a rag."
"They told me there was dust in here."
Terrible excuses.
No one pretended they weren't.
They were simply... present.
A silent web that seemed to have spread around him.
Merlin looked down, feeling something slowly melting in his chest.
He wasn't used to this.
But, against all odds...
It was a good thing.
For the first time since all this chaos had begun, walking through the corridors of Camelot no longer felt like walking alone.
Merlin looked up at Percival. "Don't make this a habit," he warned the alpha, before turning and walking away.
When he smelled Percival's scent following him, reassuring and protective, Merlin couldn't help but smile.
***
The sun was setting behind the walls of Camelot, painting the sky orange and red, when someone knocked softly on Gaius's bedroom door.
Merlin barely looked up from the book he was pretending to read. "Come in."
The door opened slowly and Gwen entered, closing it behind her with unusual care.
Merlin studied her for a moment. Something was wrong.
Gwen was always composed, even in the worst moments. Merlin had only realized that Gwen learned very early how to hide her emotions behind a gentle smile and measured words, after everything that happened in her life. She was even able to pretend to respect the king after everything he had done against her father. She had tried to teach Merlin the same trick, to protect the omega, but they had both realized it didn't work for Merlin.
That night, however, she seemed tired. Almost uncomfortable.
"Gwen?" Merlin straightened in his chair. "Did something happen?"
She hesitated. Then she sighed. "I needed to talk to you, Merlin."
Merlin immediately put down the book. "With me?"
A small smile crossed Gwen's face. "You're one of my dearest friends, Merlin."
These words tugged at his heart. Because they were true. And because, in recent years, they'd had so few opportunities to simply be friends.
Gwen sat down slowly.
For a few moments she was silent, searching for the right words. Then she said, "Agravaine."
Merlin felt something tighten inside him. "Oh? What about him?" he said remembering the cold, dismissing note in Agravaine’s voice as his cruel words hit their intended target.
Gwen looked down at her hands. "There's no need to hide it, Merlin. I know what he's like."
Merlin didn't say anything. He didn't have Gwen's courage. He would let her do the talking.
"It's the way he talks to you, isn't it?" Gwen frowned slightly. "The way he looks at you. Even the words he says, in that tone."
Merlin's heart skipped a beat. "Gwen..." he murmured, praying she would stop.
"You have to tell Arthur," Gwen said, staring at Merlin. "He deserves to know what you're going through."
"There's nothing to tell. Nothing Arthur can see and immediately understand." Merlin replied. "They're comments. Looks. Little things. The way he talks, you're right. What he says. But I can't tell Arthur, Gwen."
"Why?"
Merlin smiled bitterly. "Because Arthur loves his uncle. And because he's already lost too much family, and Agravaine is very good at appearing honorable." Merlin lowered his gaze.
Then Gwen said, almost absentmindedly, "I never liked him, you know."
Merlin looked up. "Agravaine?"
She nodded. "Not even when I was a child."
Merlin looked surprised. "I didn't realise you knew Agravaine when you were a child."
"He used to come visit us, before his big fight with Uther." Gwen gave a mirthless smile. "But I remember his scent. And I remember the way he looked at Morgana."
Merlin's blood ran cold. "What?"
Gwen frowned, surprised by his reaction. "I can't explain it. I was little." She hesitated. "But I remember thinking I didn't like the way he looked at her."
Merlin stopped breathing for a moment.
Morgana. Young Morgana. Morgana raised under Uther's roof. Morgana who had lost her mother. Morgana who had no one to protect her.
And Agravaine.
Agravaine, who now worked for her.
Agravaine, who came to her in secret.
Agravaine, who whispered venom in her ear.
Merlin suddenly felt sick.
He'd thought of Agravaine as a traitor. As a power-hungry man. An ally of Morgana.
But he'd never…
He'd never considered…
"Merlin?"
He blinked.
Gwen was watching him with concern. "Are you okay?"
No. No, he wasn't okay.
Because if Gwen was right…
If Agravaine had looked at Morgana that way when she was young…
And Morgana had been alone with him.
Merlin suddenly hated the thought of all the things that might have happened. Of all the things that perhaps no one had seen, because there was no one to protect her.
"Merlin." Gwen's voice brought him back to the present. She was watching him intently. With that ability she'd always had to see people for who they truly were. "Where did you go?"
Merlin looked down.
He'd kept secrets all his life. He'd built walls so high he'd lost his memory of how to break them down.
But this was Gwen. Gwen, who'd always seen the best in others. Gwen, who'd been Morgana's friend. Gwen, who deserved the truth.
Merlin inhaled slowly. "Well, I have a lot to tell you. And nothing will make sense without explaining the first part."
Gwen nodded, encouraging Merlin to continue speaking.
"I have magic."
Silence filled the room.
Gwen remained still.
Merlin felt his heart pounding in his ears.
Then Gwen spoke. "How long?"
Merlin looked at her, surprised. "Aren't you angry?"
Gwen looked almost confused. "Why should I be?"
Merlin laughed softly. A tired laugh. "Because I've lied to everyone. Because I'm a monster, maybe.”
“You lived in a kingdom where magic was punishable by death.” Gwen shook her head slightly. “Merlin… you shouldn’t have trusted anyone. Not even me.”
Those words hurt more than they should have. Because they were true.
Merlin lowered his gaze. And then he told her.
He told her about being born with magic. About Kilgharrah. About the fate and prophecy that weighed on his shoulders. About Emrys. About Mordred. About all the times he’d saved Arthur.
About Morgana.
His voice broke as he reached that final topic. “I should have helped her.”
Gwen remained silent.
“She was afraid,” Merlin continued. “She had magic. She was alone. And I… I was afraid, too.”
Gwen lowered her eyes. “I understand your choice.”
Merlin blinked, surprised. “How could you?” He didn’t understand his own choice and Gwen was closer to Morgana than anyone else in the entire kingdom.
“Of course, you couldn’t tell her you had magic. Morgana has always had a touchy nature. If she’d said you had magic at the wrong time, you would have been killed.” Gwen explained calmly. “And, well, you’re not the reason Morgana betrayed us. She had joined Morgause first. That’s why you had to poison her, right? She was the fulcrum of a spell that would have killed all of Camelot.”
“Put all of it to sleep.” Merlin corrected, his heart pounding.
“Same thing, considering Morgause brought an army here.” Gwen pointed out. “I’m not saying I’m glad you had to do it, but Morgause and Morgana put you in that position.”
Merlin nodded slowly. “I still feel guilty.”
“That’s because you’re a good person,” Gwen said quickly. “But you don’t have to feel guilty. If Morgana hadn't been blinded by resentment toward Uther, then perhaps she would never have joined Morgause. But she was so focused on being angry at not being recognized as a daughter that she didn't consider that Arthur saw her as a sister, and the two of us were there for her. She chose her family on her own. We had nothing to do with it.”
Merlin smiled bitterly.
It had been easy to blame himself for everything, he realized.
The truth, Merlin thought, was that Merlin didn't have the training princes had to run a kingdom, and what Merlin had to do was much more than run a kingdom.
“What were you trying to tell me, anyway?” Gwen asked.
“Agravaine is working with Morgana,” Merlin said. “And if he tried with me, perhaps… Morgana is in danger with him.”
“What?” Gwen asked, putting a hand to her mouth.
Merlin simply nodded.
They had to do something to help Morgana. Because, as Gwen had just pointed out, they were her family.
***
Arthur couldn't believe it.
When he'd followed Gwen, seeking her support to help Merlin get better, he'd never imagined he'd hear all this.
Knowing that Merlin would endure abuse rather than hurt Arthur was so Merlin-like that Arthur should have immediately figured out who was to blame for Merlin's discomfort and fear.
Hearing Merlin's confession, his whole talk about having magic... When the confession first fell from his lips, Arthur wished he'd never stopped at Gaius's door, he'd never wanted to hear Merlin admit he was betraying him like everyone else.
When Merlin had asked Gwen why she didn't fear him, why she didn't hate him, even though Merlin was a monster... Arthur had felt his heart break with the pain in Merlin's voice.
At that moment, Arthur had been content to stay and listen to everything Merlin had done for him. His brave and selfless Merlin... his Merlin, who had suffered too much in a kingdom that would gladly see him dead.
“Sir?” Leon’s voice made Arthur focus on him. As soon as he had heard everything Gwen and Merlin discussed, he was quick to call a servant and order him to collect all the knights in his rooms. And to do it fast.
There was no time to waste. Even in thinking of the regrets of the past.
"Leon?" Arthur called, looking toward the Knights of the Round Table, or, as Gwen called them, the Knights of Merlin. "Bring my uncle. He’s the one to blame for Merlin’s suffering.."
Leon's expression grew fierce, and Arthur knew Agravaine would be injured in the transport.
"And us?" Gwaine asked, daring Arthur with his gaze to keep him away from their omega's attacker.
"You will help me write a law," Arthur said. "There's much to do to protect Merlin."
***
"We shouldn't be here," Gwen murmured. "It's really dangerous. And we don't know which way to go." Gwen added, after a moment. “And we are following the path of an escaped traitor who might hurt and kill us.”
Merlin sighed. He waved his hand, and a golden path lit up on the ground. "You’re right. Agravaine followed this path. And if we follow it, we'll get to where Morgana is."
"Would you reveal your magic to Morgana?" Gwen looked at Merlin intently. "Would you really do that?"
"To protect her from Agravaine? Of course," Merlin said. "We know Agravaine won't return to Camelot, Gwen.”
"How did he know they wanted to arrest him?" Gwen wondered.
"He must have used his spy network." Merlin murmured absently.
He didn't notice Gwen's gaze until he looked up to tell her they were almost there.
"What?"
"Did you know Agravaine had a spy network?" Gwen asked, almost shocked.
"Of course." Merlin nodded. "I'm always prepared for coups. Keeping an eye on loyalists is helpful. Agravaine didn't have many spies, but there were certainly enough to let him escape in case of discovery."
"Arthur should make you spymaster..." Gwen shook her head. "You know what? You do way too much to be any one thing in the Castle. He should just give you the crown straight away."
"Did you see how ridiculous Arthur looks with that crown?" Merlin grimaced. "Really, my advice not to use it was so well followed for a reason."
Gwen sighed.
Then, she gasped. "What's that smell?"
After a moment of quiet, Merlin smelled it too.
The smell of fear.
"Morgana." Merlin muttered, running without stopping to think and seeing Morgana curled up on the ground, Agravaine hovering over her.
"No!" Gwen exclaimed, but before Agravaine could do anything, a blast of Merlin's magic sent him crashing into a tree, hitting it with a loud thud.
"Morgana!" Gwen called, running over to her and hugging her. "Are you hurt? Oh, my, Morgana!"
Merlin also approached, keeping an eye on the area, even though he knew no one else would ever go near Morgana's hideout, which was surprisingly close to Camelot.
Either the patrols sucked, or Morgana knew how to hide well.
"Gwen." Morgana stammered, clinging to the omega.
Seeing his friend so injured, Merlin moved closer, hugging her from the other side.
"You're safe now. Don't be afraid." Merlin whispered. "I got you."
When the knights and Arthur arrived, they found them huddled together, ignoring Agravaine's body a few feet away.
***
It hadn't all gone well, of course. Not right away.
There was a lot of explaining to do, a lot of relationships to repair.
There were tears of joy from Merlin and Morgana when they realized Arthur had begun the process of legalizing magic and that they would be free.
And, of course...
"The overgrown lizard called you two sides of the same coin, and you didn't realize you were soulmates?" Morgana asked, frowning. "You're an idiot."
"I was young, and your brother was an ass." Merlin corrected Morgana, slapping her hand away from his elegant robes. "The real question is why I have to dress like a madman."
"It's tradition." Morgana said deadpan. "And it's nice to see tradition when a Pendragon marries a magic-user."
"Wonderful." Merlin said deadpan, glaring at Morgana. "Arthur is still an ass."
"And yet, you decided to marry him." Morgana murmured. "Why?"
"If Ikill him, I'll legally take his power." Merlin replied promptly. "It's better than a coup."
Gwen, who was fixing Merlin's hair, snorted. "You'd never kill Arthur. You're too in love with him to do anything."
"Lies," Merlin replied.
"So sweet, Merlin lights up when he sees Arthur." Morgana added.
"And slander." Merlin continued. "I wish Lancelot was the one that proposed instead of Arthur."
Gwen, like Merlin, put on a faux love-struck expression that made Morgana's face crease in a satisfying way. "Lancelot is far too good for you."
"He's not a royal," Morgana said.
"But he's handsome, chivalrous, a good listener, kind, intelligent," Gwen teased, swooning dramatically.
"So are the Pendragons." Morgana said, with mock offense
"You've never met Arthur," Merlin said laconically. "And, anyway, I confessed to having magic in the first week, and all of you Pendragons were convinced I was in love with Gwen."
"Lancelot noticed Merlin had magic," Gwen pointed out, egging Merlin on. Morgana pouted at her until Gwen’s lovestruck expression broke into giggles and she affectionately scented her neck.
"And he broke the law for me, instead of making fun of me." Merlin sighed. "Too bad he doesn't want to get married."
"At least he's in your pack." Gwen pouted. "I want to spend more time with your pack. Servants aren't the same."
"You can come anytime." Merlin offered generously.
"Are you done?" Morgana asked. "Merlin still has to get married."
Merlin sighed, before looking at his reflection.
"Merlin?" Gwen asked gently. "Are you ready?"
"I am." Merlin nodded. "With all my heart."