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It had to be a goddamn helicopter.

Colt leaned against the side, eyes squeezed shut, hand tightly squeezing Jody’s like it was his last tether to Earth. Like if he let go, let his guard down for half a second, they’d take her too. Or worse, take him from her. Shoot him off into space, force him to wake up alone. Force him to die alone in space, unable to even properly say goodbye to the family they stole him from.

He stared out the window, stars twinkling above them in the night sky, a hazy trail of light shooting across the sky. He sniffled as he tried to pick out any of the constellations Ryland had been able to trace out with his fingers, reading the night sky like a storybook. When they were kids, Colt had always been jealous of him for it. Jealous of the fact that Ryland, as he told his friends, had this superpower of reading stories in the stars or something poetic to that effect. In his defense, he always did have a flair for the dramatic as a child.

Jody’s thumb rubbed small circles over the back of his hand, and he tore his eyes away from the sky, looking back at her and choking back a sob as he saw the soft smile on her face. Ryan’s head was in her lap, Stella’s against her shoulder. Her head was pressed against the headrest, her eyes half closed, a purple haze under them. “You went somewhere in your head again,” she whispered. “Come back to me.”

He looked down. “I hate helicopters.”

“I know you do.”

Colt nodded, frowning as he looked at her again. “I’m so sorry, Jody,” he murmured. “I didn’t know-”

“I’m fine, Colt,” she insisted. Waving him off as he opened his mouth. “We’re not twenty anymore. Besides, you look so much worse than I do right now,” she continued, her tone switching from gentle teasing to genuine concern as she reached out, tilting his head to see both of his eyes.

“Well, I have been crying damn near nonstop,” he sniffled, leaning into her touch.

Her eyes softened, but her mouth was still in a thin line. Her perception of time was completely warped. They’d been shoved into planes that had practically ping-ponged them across the world, probably some intentional trick to disorient them if she was going off some of the spy movies she’d seen. Colt’s warmth hadn’t left her side throughout it, even as she drifted in and out of consciousness, she always woke up at his side, watching as he checked over the three of them again and again. The realization that she hadn’t seen him sleep in all of that time settled uncomfortably in her chest, especially since her internal clock, warped as it may be from the jet lag, was tracking over two days.

“Have you,” she began, watching as he already started to look away. “Colt, have you even just closed your eyes?”

“Blinking isn’t really something I do consciously.”

“That is not what I mean, and you know it,” she urged. “Colt, I’m so serious-”

“Can’t,” he muttered. “I’ve- it’s been- fuck I don’t know how long, but I started hallucinating before we got on this stupid thing.” Jody’s eyes widened, and he waved a hand. “Auditory mostly. Keep- keep thinking I hear him.”

“You’re hallucinating.”

“Jody, I’m fine-”

“You are not!” She whisper-shouted, quickly glancing at the pilots, who kept their heads forward through the whole thing. Jody turned back to him. “No, Colt, you are not fine. You haven’t slept in- in- in God knows how long. You’re hallucinating. And you-” she cut herself off, shaking her head. “You need to sleep.”

“And what am I supposed to do if something happens and I’m asleep?”

“Nothing is going to happen.”

“These people took him from me, Jody!”

“And we are sitting in a helicopter over the ocean right now. If something happens, it’ll happen when we land, so this is the best time to sleep it off, okay?” She whispered, her hand reaching up to card through his hair gently.

He leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering a few times before he clenched his fists, knuckles turning ghost white. “I just- I keep thinking about- I keep thinking about how scared he must’ve been. I mean, you- you heard the voicemails. He- God, he sounded so scared. And then they- they shot him into space and he- he woke up alone and he-” He leaned forward, feeling Jody’s arms around him. “I just- I remember when we were kids and it was like, second grade and we were doing career day and we all had to write down what we wanted to be when we grew up-”

“What did you write?”

He laughed slightly, tilting his head to the side. She’s trying to distract him from spiraling out of control. He knows this.

He lets her do it anyway.

“Something stupid, I think. Actually no, Ry and I just watched Raiders for the first time and I assumed that all archeologists were actually Indiana Jones-type action heroes, and I uh-”

“You, Colt Seavers, wanted to be an archeologist?” Jody asked incredulously, bringing a hand up to stifle her laughter as Colt rolled his eyes.

“I wanted to be Indiana Jones,” he corrected. “I knew Indiana Jones was an archeologist and I assumed that Raiders of the Lost Ark was just like…a documentary of what archeologists did.”

“How long?”

“Longer than I’d like to admit. We went to the museum on a field trip later and got a presentation from an archeologist. And when I realized that this very enthusiastic archeologist was not, in fact, Harrison Ford, I may or may not have gone home in tears.”

She let out a snort, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. “You’re adorable,” she teased, as he let out his own small, breathy laugh and the first genuine smile since they’d been thrown into this situation. 

Colt glanced to the side, smile faltering almost instantly. “Ryland put down astronaut because that’s what the teacher told him to do and I think she was sick of him a little bit. A bunch of the adults tried talking to him about it but he would just walk away. He told me on the way home that he uh, he loved space but he didn’t-” he ducked his head, sucking in a sharp breath as a tear managed to escape him, trailing down his tear-stained cheeks- “he said that he only wanted to go to space if I could go too and- and then they fucking shot him into space and didn’t- didn’t let him say goodbye.”

Something in him twisted painfully as another set of tears came, hot and tired as he leaned against Jody’s free shoulder, her head resting on top of his. And then came the voice in his ear.

“I was under the impression you were dead.”

He brought his hand to his mouth, biting down on one of his fingers as a sob threatened to escape his throat like a wild animal breaking out of it’s enclosure. God, he wondered, feeling Jody’s hand tighten around his other hand, did- did they even tell him? He knows, right? He has to know. He has to know he’s still a twin.

And then another thought. Why didn’t they let him say goodbye? We- we cleared it up before the launch. His stomach flipped. Did they not tell him?

“Colt?”

“I think I know why that last message is for you and not for me and I’m trying really hard-” his voice cracked as a sob escaped, tears rolling down his face- “really, really fucking hard to not think about it because it’s only going to make everything worse.”

She turned her head, pressing a kiss into his dirty blond hair. “It’s gonna be okay, Colt,” she whispered.

“You can’t promise that.”

“I know I can’t. But-” she brushed the ends of his hair out of his eyes, heart cracking as she watched tears well up in the cracks- “but I can promise that after all of this, I will still be here. That Ryan and Stella will still be here. That we will be here for you, Colt, no matter how hard it gets.”

Her hand reached up, slowly stroking his hair as he finally relaxed into her, eyes fluttering closed. “Can you,” he murmured, sniffling slightly, “I just, I don’t wanna- can you just, keep talking, until I fall asleep? I just- I wanna hear you, so I- so I know you’re safe.”

“I can do that,” Jody said softly. “Is- is there anything specific that you want me to-”

“Just, just uh- just talk to me. About anything really. Projects you’re looking into, scripts you’ve looked over, some dumb story that you’ve told me a million times, I uh- I’m not picky.”

She nodded, one hand still carding through his hair as the other traced gentle patterns on the back of his hand. “I’ve been thinking about getting a dog again,” she said. “I have a feeling that when Ryan and Stells move out, it’s gonna hit us hard. And I know you’re a dog person, and I’ll be honest, I miss having dogs around.”

Colt hummed, his eyes staying closed. “Thinking of a Kelpie again? Or a Lab?”

“I heard about this puppy that just came in at a shelter nearby actually. She’s a Husky mix, about eight weeks old. Kinda weird name though, but it sounds familiar.” She glanced out at the window, watching the twinkling stars dot the sky. “Laika, I think.”

“Laika the space dog,” Colt murmured. “That’s how you know the name-” Jody cocked her head to the side, listening to him talk- “The Soviets sent a dog named Laika into low Earth orbit to test some stuff before they started sending humans up there.”

“Did she come back?”

“No, she uh- she didn’t. We learned about it in class right after Lucy died, so the dead dog wound was pretty fresh. Ryland cried for like three days, tore all his space posters off our wall because he didn’t wanna think about how more than one animal died for us to do all the space stuff we’ve done so far.” He grimaced. “I uh, I met Ilyukhina’s family at something a few years or so after the launch. One of her relatives had been there to say goodbye to Laika, and her father said he hoped that she would guide the crew to Tau Ceti so they could save all the humans she loved back on Earth.”

Jody smiled, squeezing his hand. “I wonder if she’s up there with Ryland,” she murmured. “Making sure he isn’t totally alone. Trying to protect him from whatever happened to the crew during the flight there.”

“Ry was planning on getting a dog before he got on that stupid boat,” Colt whispered, voice raspy. “I was starting to get better and I started working again so we saw each other less. And I mean, as much as he loved the fog, the vitamin D deficiency was starting to get to him.”

“What kind of dog was he looking for?”

“‘m not sure. He was looking at older shelter dogs. Wanted to give them a good life after they’d been through a lot. Kinda like me, I guess.”

“He really loves you, Colt.”

She felt him smile against the skin of her neck. “I love him too,” he whispered, his voice finally giving way to soft snores that mingled in the air with their kids’. A symphony of sleeping Seavers, still missing one voice. Jody closed her eyes, finally giving into the exhaustion that had settled deep in her bones.

He jolts awake when they touch down, hand tightening around Jody’s. She squeezed back three times, a silent promise to keep him grounded as the door slid open. Carl stood at the door, hands tucked behind his back.

“Director Stratt is waiting inside.”

Jody narrowed her eyes, grabbing Ryan’s hand as Stella tucked herself against Colt’s other side. “She flew us across the world and can’t even have the decency to meet us herself?” She snarked, feeling Colt’s grip tighten. 

“With all due respect-“

“She sent a man into space and lied about it for twenty-six years. I’m sure she can spare five minutes to greet the family she took him from.”

Carl’s lips pressed into a thin line as he quickly glanced away. “We are attempting to be discreet. She is-“

Stella raised an eyebrow. “International fugitives don’t exactly give speeches at the UN.”

He grimaced. “It’s complicated,” he sighed.

If Colt had a retort, he didn’t let it escape. His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly as he glanced around, eyeing the guards stationed at different points along the icebreaker’s deck. Their uniforms bore a red flag on their shoulder, their hands all tightened around rifles that he knew from experience could be lifted within a few seconds. Probably a few seconds faster than Colt could move; he wasn’t in his twenties anymore, leaping off Tom fucking Ryder’s balcony to avoid being shot at.

“This is necessary?” He finally spoke. “The weapons?”

“Yes.” Carl shifted. “You don’t save the world without making a few enemies.”

Colt narrowed his eyes. “Last I checked, she wasn’t the one in space.”

The words land. He sees it in how Carl stiffens. Even the ocean wind seemed to respond, the cold air biting at his exposed skin. Stella shivered against him, and he pulled her closer. Jody glanced at the two of them briefly, squeezing Colt’s hand three times, bringing him back into focus.

A man jogged out of the cabin, freezing as soon as he saw Colt and his family. His mouth hung open, eyes flicking between Carl and Colt. “Ni figa sebe,” he whispered in horror. “This is him?”

Carl nodded. “This is him.”

The man stared at him for a few moments, and Colt bristled under the look in his eyes, somewhere between an existential horror and recognition of a close friend. He didn’t need to ask why he seemed to recognize him.

“God have mercy on the woman’s soul,” he murmured, his thick Russian accent turning his words to gravel. His head tilted to the side as he took a step forward. “You look so much like your brother.”

His eyes flicked to Ryan, lips quirking into a slight smile. He cocked his head towards him. “Your son?”

Colt swallowed, his eyes burning as he nodded. “Yes,” he said hoarsely.

The man gave a satisfied hum. “Practically a clone. If I didn’t know better I’d assume he was your brother’s. Grace’s genes are stronger than I thought,” he added, grinning at Carl, who cracked a slight smile. The man then looked at Stella. “God, she even looks like him too. Same-”

“I’m sorry,” Colt interrupted, shaking his head. “I- Look, I get the feeling you know–knew–Ryland, but I- I-”

He clapped his hands together. “Of course, how rude of me. Dr. Dimitri Komorov,” he announced, waving his hand dramatically. “Dimitri, as my friends call me.”

“We’re not exactly-” Jody began but Dimitri waved her off.

“Nonsense. I considered Dr. Grace-”

“Ryland,” Colt corrected sharply, watching as Carl flinched. Dimitri, however, didn’t have as strong of a reaction, instead simply blinking at Colt a few times. The blond cleared his throat. “Ryland, his- his name is Ryland. If you need to include the stupid title, then just-” a sniffle escaped him, and he felt his face burn- “Dr. Ryland Grace. He- he was never just Grace or Dr. Grace or whatever weird bullshit you called him, I-”

“Ryland is a fitting name,” Dimitri interjected. “I only found out about his first name when he uh, when he was placed on board. We only ever called him Grace, because that was- that was what Stratt called him.” He shifted his weight between his legs. “Ryland was a good friend of mine. I’d be honored to consider any of his family a friend of mine as well.”

Colt let go of Jody’s hand for a fraction of a second to wipe at his eyes, a small smile breaking through his defenses. His arm tightened around Stella as he turned to Jody, who tilted her head to the side. “Are you ready?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I can be,” he murmured. “But I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head to the side and rubbed circles into the back of his hand with her thumb. Soft, gentle, so gentle he physically ached. Even after 26 years of being nearly glued to her side, part of him still screamed that he didn’t deserve her softness. Didn’t deserve the silent, anchoring presence at his side when he woke up screaming for his mother to wait just a few minutes longer, for his father to wake up, for Ryland to answer the goddamn phone.

He didn’t deserve the blankets and pillows she’d brought him when he had the unshakable feeling that someone was going to come for Ryan, and he refused to sleep anywhere but the floor of the nursery. He didn’t deserve the way she held his shaking hands in hers when his dreams had been so vivid, he had to hold Stella in his arms until he could finally believe that fucking Gail and Tom fucking Ryder hadn’t tried getting away with her instead of the confession.

He hadn’t deserved the way she held him when his world dropped out from under him twenty-six years ago. Colt was selfish, egotistical, emotionally unavailable, a coward, a liar—but Jody barely batted an eye.

He didn’t deserve her. He could do a trillion good things, and still never deserve Jody Moreno-Seavers.

But she was still here.

“Just say the word and we leave,” she whispered. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to talk to anyone-“

“I have to do this,” he resolved, his voice barely audible. “I know it won’t change anything, I know it’ll- it’ll probably destroy me but-“ he swallowed. “Ryland’s my brother. He’s, he’s still my brother and if he- if his last message to Earth was for you and not-“ Stella’s arms tightened around him as a sob ripped itself from his throat- “if Ry’s last message to Earth is for you, then it’s gotta be important. And I- I owe it to him.” He shrugged. “I mean, he saved the world. Least I could do is listen to his uh-“

Jody pressed her lips to his gently, tasting the salt of his tears. She leaned her forehead against his. “I love you,” she murmured. “I love you, Colt, and I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.”

“I know you know.” Jody leaned away, staring into his stormy blue eyes. “But do you believe me?”

He didn’t respond, instead looking over to Carl and Dimitri. “I’ll talk to her,” he agreed, squeezing Jody’s hand. “I’ll talk to her but she better have some fucking answers for me.”

“I-“ Carl began only to be interrupted by Dimitri raising a hand.

“Anything she doesn’t tell you, I will-“

“Dimitri-“

“His brother is in space, Carl. If Stratt refuses to tell him the whole truth, then I will. He’s Ryland’s brother.” He turned to Colt, eyes softening. “Your brother is a hero. The fact that it’s taken twenty-six years for you to know that is unforgivable.”

Colt probably should have agreed.

The way Jody is looking at him makes him think that he should have agreed.

He doesn’t say anything.

His heart is pounding in his chest as he drives. It shouldn’t be. It’s not supposed to be. He’s not supposed to be alive.

He’s alive.

Colt doesn’t look at what’s resting in the passenger seat. He knows what it is. He knows how many bullets he loaded into the magazine that’s now sitting discarded in the footwell. He knows that he shouldn’t be alive right now. He knows that in a few hours, someone was supposed to find him on that beach and call the cops.

He knows that Ryland is supposed to be an only child right now.

Ryland is not an only child. Ryland is not going to be an only child. He decided that when he heard the click of the hammer and then nothing happened. He opened his eyes, and nothing happened. He was still staring out at the horizon, watching the dark waves lap against the beach. Tracing the constellations in the sky like he was following Ryland’s hand as they stargazed together here, like they used to. Like he desperately wants to again.

His vision is blurry through the tears, his truck silent aside from his occasional sobs and click of his turn indicator. He doesn’t need a map, or a GPS, or even to look at the signs of the road. It’s instinctive, like his body has a homing signal locked onto one person and he just…lets his mind go on autopilot, lets whatever instinct this is close the gap between him and the person who he needs to answer the door with open arms. 

He doesn’t even register that he’s pulled into an apartment complex until he’s pulling the keys out of the ignition and sprinting towards the building. He isn’t thinking, but by God, he’s breathing. He’s breathing, and he’s not supposed to be.

Colt feels the rain soaking through his jacket for the first time. It’s been raining for a while, he assumes, but he’s only just realized it. The water trickles down through his hair, following the channels left behind by his tears until he can’t tell which is which. He looks like a mess, he’s sure, but he doesn’t care. His back hurts like all hell but he doesn’t care. He’s alive to look like he’s half dead. He’s alive to be sopping wet. He’s alive to know he’s going to regret the pain in his back when he wakes up, but he’s going to be alive to wake up.

His fist slams into the door at the same time that he leans his head against it. “C’mon, Ry,” he sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut as though he was trying to will the clock to move forward to a reasonable time. Not two in the morning on a week day when his brother was most definitely sleeping.

He heaved another sob, drowning out the soft click of the door unlocking.

“Colt?”

Colt lurched forward, feeling a pair of arms wrap around him, holding him steady. Holding him together.

“‘M sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I- I- ‘M sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I- I disappeared and didn’t answer. I’m sorry I-“ he buried his face in Ryland’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I- I woke you up, I’m- I’m such an-“

Ryland shushed him gently, holding him tightly. His grip was almost fiercely protective. “You didn’t wake me up,” he confessed. “I haven’t slept, I just- I thought something- I had this feeling that something was wrong and-“ Colt let out another sob, hands clutching his twin brother’s shirt desperately. Ryland stiffened for a moment before asking quietly. “You wanna come in?”

“Mhm,” he hummed quietly before another sob ripped itself from his throat. “Ry, I’m- I’m so sorry, I-“ he rambled as Ryland slowly walked him inside. “I- I should’ve- I-“

Ryland slowly guided his brother to the couch, resting his hands on his shoulders and kneeling in front of him. “Hey, hey, hey,” he soothed, trying to redirect Colt’s ramblings. “Whatever happened, it’s not your fault-“

“It is,” Colt wailed. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I- I yelled at you. I pushed Jody away. I- I tried-“ Ryland felt a shiver run down his spine as Colt sniffled. “Twice,” he whimpered, avoiding Ryland’s eyes. “I’m- I’m a coward who-“

“Colt, you are not a coward.”

“But I am!”

Ryland surged forward, wrapping his arms around his brother so tightly that Colt almost couldn’t breathe. But he was still breathing.

He rested his head against his brother’s shoulder, feeling Ryland’s chin rest on top of his head. He vaguely remembered this sort of comfort, though Colt had always been the one giving it. After Mom. After Dad. After Denmark. It felt foreign, almost uncomfortable. He tried to pull out of it but Ryland’s hold was stronger than he gave his brother credit for.

“Colt,” he whispered, rubbing circles into his brother’s back. “You are not a coward. You-“

“I’m only here because it fucking jammed,” Colt admitted, feeling Ryland tense up beneath him. “You- you saved me with the pills and I- I repaid you by- by trying again, and I-“

Ryland cut him off with another tight squeeze. “Jesus,” he muttered. “Colt, I-“

“‘M sorry-“

“No, Colt, I- Fucking shit, I wish, I wish I knew how bad it was.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I should have known how bad it was. Never should’ve let you run off like that.”

“I didn’t exactly-“

“Colt, it doesn’t matter.” Ryland said firmly. “You are the most important person in my life. I should have known you were…you-“ 

“I tried to make you an only child-“

“Don’t say that, Colt.” He ordered. “Don’t you dare. I- You’re staying here. I’ll sleep on the couch-“

“Ryland-“

He shook his head firmly. “No,” he declared, his teacher voice sneaking in. “You are staying in my bed because it is better for your back. I am taking the rest of the week, and maybe next week off-“ Colt glanced up at him, mouth open to protest, but Ryland covered it with his hand- “I’m sleeping on the couch. And you are not leaving my sight until I-“ he glanced off to the side, inhaling sharply. “You’re seeing a therapist-“

“I don’t need a shrink,” Colt protested weakly, only for Ryland to glare at him.

“You are seeing a therapist. I’m taking you to all your PT appointments-“

“Ry, I don’t have insurance-“

He shrugged. “I’ll sell my car. Simple. I live close enough to bike to work anyway.”

“That’s not gonna be enough and you know that,” he argued. “I-“

“We’ll make it work,” Ryland assured him. “Mom and Dad made it work for me in college. Just-“ he sniffled, holding his brother’s face in his hands. “Just let me do this for you, Colt. Okay?”

“You-“

“You’re my brother, Colt,” Ryland repeated. “You were there for me after Denmark. You let me crash on your couch while I got my teaching certificate.” He patted his brother’s shoulder. “Consider this me returning the favor.”

Colt was silent for a moment as Ryland stood up, murmuring something about making tea. Finally, as Ryland turned around, taking half a step towards the kitchen, he murmured something under his breath. “Saved my life already, Ry. Don’t have to do it again.”

He turned slowly, watching as Colt curled into a ball on the couch. “I want to,” he said softly. “I’m going to, whether you like it or not.” He knelt down to Colt’s eye level. “You are my twin brother. You are the most important person in my life. You are the only family I have left, Colt. We’re already orphans. I don’t wanna take my chances on either of us ending up as an only child.”

Colt smiled ever so slightly. “You’re not allowed to die first.”

Ryland rolled his eyes. “Neither are you.”

They stayed like that for a moment as Colt rested his head on his knees. He smiled at his brother. “Saved my life twice now,” he murmured softly. “You’re a real hero, you know that?”

Ryland shook his head, standing back up. “I’m not a hero. I’m just…someone who loves you Colt. I wanna keep you around for a while.” He turned, retreating to the kitchen. “Chamomile okay? Should help you sleep.”

Colt nodded. “Bit of sugar if you can,” he requested, earning a hum from his brother. He swallowed. “Hey Ry?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you…for- for all this. And if you’re gonna help me whether I like it or not, then I’m gonna call you a hero whether you like it or not because I-“ he bit the inside of his cheek. “I love you, Ryland. And I’m sorry.”

He smiled over his shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” A pause. “I love you too, Colt.”

She sucked in a breath as she heard the door click open. Five sets of footsteps walk into the room. Stratt furrows her brow for a moment; it should be four. She remembers the little girl in the coffee shop, beaming brightly like the crumbling world around her had entirely avoided her. Like Grace in a way. Sat on a boat in the middle of the Pacific. Cracking jokes and stuffing Skittles into his face like he wasn’t running experiments on an organism that would cause the death of nearly half the world’s population in thirty years.

She’d always wondered how morale could be so high. Turns out the answer had always been at her side.

She pulled herself out of her memories, trying to remember the file she’d just perused on the family that Carl had just escorted to her. Grace’s brother. Sister-in-law. Nephew. Niece. She hadn’t met the nephew yet, he hadn’t been with his father that day.

Carl cleared his throat. “Director, this is-”

She turned around, watching Grace’s Brother’s eyes widen with horror and recognition as he moved to put his daughter behind him. He narrowed his eyes, grabbing his wife’s hand tightly. “Alright, what the-”

Stratt turned to the woman, ignoring him. “Ms. Moreno, I’d imagine,” she said, watching as the woman pulled her son, who looked even more like Grace than his father, close against her side.

“Moreno-Seavers,” she corrected sharply, glancing at her husband. “How do you know him?” She interrogated. “Because I’m starting to notice a pattern with you and Men-in-Black over there-” she jerked her head towards Carl- “and if you sick pieces of shit-”

“A chance encounter.” She interjected, folding her hands in front of her. “I was taking my usual coffee-” her eyes flicked to the other two- “and your daughter approached me and asked about my book. Naturally, her father came over to retrieve her and-” her voice caught in her throat- “I made a lapse in my-”

“You called me Grace.”

Eva sucked in a breath.

“I did.”

He shook his head. “Would it kill you to call a guy, a guy that you fucks sent into space, by the way, by his first name? Or do you- what, you think he’ll come haunt you if you say his name?” He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, still keeping himself as a barrier between Stratt and his daughter.

“Mr-”

“Colt.”

She shifted her weight between her legs. “Yes, Colton-” she watched him flinch, clearly not expecting his full name- “I briefly mistook you for your brother.” Her eyes flicked over to his son. “Can you blame me? Your genetics are unusually strong.”

“They’re identical twins, you bloody arsehole,” Jody snapped, her faint English accent strengthening on the last few words. “Identical twins, that, if I’m to believe, you ripped apart and sent one into space!”

“I-”

“You-”

“Had Dr. Grace not gone, your children would be dead by age thirty, Ms. Moreno,” Stratt snapped.

Jody narrowed her eyes into slits, shoving her son behind her. She took a step forward, and Eva instinctively took a step backwards, gaze flicking to Carl, who also moved to take a step between the two women. Colt reached out, holding her arm gently, his eyes wide with terror and an unspoken plea.

She looked back, expression softening, and moved back into her initial position, her fingers interlacing with his tightly. Notably though, both of their children stayed safely tucked behind them. Jody glared at her. “Don’t you fucking talk about my children, you bitch,” she threatened. “You sent your stupid attack dogs to their fucking school and you-”

Stratt’s eyes flicked to Carl once again, who winced and then nodded.

“What the fuck was that?” Colt snapped. “That look. What the fuck are you two-”

“Colton, as I recall,” she interjected, “I warned you that bringing a life into this world, much less two, when you and your wife were well aware that should Project Hail Mary fail, they’d be lucky to live to see their thirtieth birthdays.” Eva blinked a few times. “You responded by telling me that you trusted your brother.”

“Yeah, because I thought he fucking died for this shit,” Colt snapped. “I- your project told me he was vaporized. I buried him, I mourned him, I named my fucking son after him and I was just- I was just supposed to wake up one day and just- ‘Hey Colt, remember how you’ve been living in an emotional hell because your brother died and you never got to say goodbye?’ Yeah, fun fact, he didn’t die, I’ve been lied to for twenty-six years, and he’s in fucking space!” He slammed his hands down on the conference table. “I trusted my brother’s work because he would have checked it over and over again because he knew the stakes. He knew if he- if he didn’t get it right, his students weren’t getting a future. But you know what? Ryland deserved a future too.”

Eva flinched, looking away. Straight into Grace’s eyes.

“Three days, huh,” she offered, a slight lilt in her voice. Three days was a gross oversimplification. Three days until the Soyuz launched with Yao, Ilyukhina, and DuBois, but another day until the Hail Mary departed from the International Space Station. And another thirteen years before they woke up at Tau Ceti. And another thirteen years after that before they knew if this pipe dream would even work.

Still, Grace let out a sigh like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. It was, Eva supposed. “Yeah,” he said, ducking his head as a small smile formed across his lips. “So, what are you gonna do for the next twenty years?” He held up his coffee and gestured toward the one in her hands. “You got a plan?”

Prison, most likely, was the first answer that came to mind. She wasn’t stupid. The world would need a whipping boy and she chose this position knowing that’s what her ending would be. But for a moment she smiled to herself, and allowed herself to hope.

And then a bright flash of orange light lit up Grace’s face, and the horror in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

“-and then you look me in the eye,” Colt said, and Eva flinched, trying to remember what he’d been saying before. “You look me in the eye and tell me that his last message to Earth isn’t-” his voice broke and he rubbed at his eyes, trying to do his best to disguise a sob as him clearing his throat. 

Jody leaned against him, finally letting enough of her guard down for Stella and Ryan to come forward again. “That’s what I’m here for,” he announced, but hardly with any force behind the words. “I’m- I’m here because Ryland is my brother. And if-” he glanced at Jody, pressing a kiss to her forehead- “and if the last thing he ever says to Earth is for her, then- then we need to hear it.”

She nodded wordlessly, stepping to the side and pressing a few buttons until Grace appeared on screen. Colt sucked in a breath, squeezing Jody’s hand tightly. She squeezed back. Three times, like always.

“Before I-” Stratt tried, but she shook her head. “I should warn you that Grace will say something upsetting to you both. I would appreciate it if you would hold those reactions until he’s finished.”

“Thought you said you hadn’t seen it.”

“Only until Dr. Grace asks for Ms. Moreno.”

Jody furrowed her brow, glancing towards Colt, who swallowed back another retort and nodded. His eyes were drawn to the image of his brother, all bundled up in a fleece emblazoned with the mission patch of the project. Was it cold in space? He wondered, trying to remember if Ryland had shared any fun facts on the subject.

Then again, Ryland was always cold. It had been an easy way for their elementary school friends to tell them apart, especially in the winter. Colt would come bounding into school in shorts and a t-shirt, while Ryland followed behind, layered in coats, sweaters, and most times wearing some sort of knitted hat because his ears were always cold.

He wasn’t wearing a hat in space, though. Makes sense; the ship would have to have climate controls, especially for the science. Colt sniffled lightly regardless. He wondered if Ryland would’ve wanted a hat, if he packed one in his bag. The navy blue one their mom had knitted and worn during the last few months after she lost her hair. The one Ryland always seemed to wear whenever he missed her and their father a little more. The one that seemed suspiciously similar to the one covering Stratt’s graying hair.

She must have pressed play, because Ryland’s face twitched a bit as he exhaled. Colt flinched as he saw the exhaustion in his brother’s face: the darkened undereyes, the lines creasing at the edge of his eyes, the way his shoulders slumped like there was an invisible weight bearing down on them.

“Okay, Stratt, I lied,” he sighed, and Colt shot a glare at the woman. “Or whoever is watching these. I’m assuming it’s Stratt. But yeah, I lied.” Ryland shrugged, the microphone picking up the soft rustling that echoed through the silent room. “I’ve got one last thing to say. And it’s not to you. Or Carl. Or Dimitri, or Lokken, or anyone else I’ve worked with.”

He took a pause, and Colt braced himself as he saw Ryland’s fists clench around the fabric of his pants. “As I remember, you told me that my brother died-” his eyes widened in horror, a quiet “No” slipping out as he covered his mouth- “in an explosion on Sydney Harbor-”

His knees buckled underneath him.

It’s LAX all over again. Ryland’s face is on the screen. He’s too far away for Colt to reach out to him. He feels like he’s falling all over again. Not from twelve stories up. Not from a helicopter, but from space.

It isn’t until he feels Jody’s hand in his hair, her other arm around his waist and her face buried in the crook of his neck; Stella’s head pressed against his shoulder, her arms around his waist, and her body tucked under his arm along with Ryan, who was holding onto him just as tightly. He squeezed the three of them tightly, his heart pounding as Ryland went silent. 

His face is burning. His breathing is coming too quickly; Jody’s saying something in his ear about it, but he can barely hear her. She’s too far away. But she presses a kiss to his cheek and says his name with all the softness that could only come from her. He leans into her, holding his remaining family tightly against him, wishing that he could be stronger, larger, a physical shield to protect them instead of a broken man who needed their shielding just as much.

“Dad?” Stella said quietly, looking up at him.

It’s Ryland’s eyes he’s staring down into.

He lifted his head slowly, trying to steady his trembling hands as he stared at Stratt. “Tell me he doesn’t think I’m dead.”

She made a face, looking away from him and away from Ryland. Colt sucked in a breath. “Tell me you didn’t send my brother to space thinking I was dead,” he begged, feeling Jody’s arms tighten around him. A shiver ran down his spine. “Tell me- tell me that’s not what he’s thinking.”

Eva sucked in a breath. “We spoke about this-”

“Tell me Ryland isn’t up there in space thinking I’m dead! Tell me that Ryland knows that he- that he has a family.” Colt squeezed his eyes shut. “Tell me that my brother- that Ryland didn’t choose to go to space because he thought I was dead.”

“He didn’t,” she said softly. “That was not the reason he went.” She stared intently at one of the blank walls of the conference. “But you were believed dead at the time of-”

“That’s bullshit,” he whispered hoarsely, desperately choking back a sob. “That is such bullshit. I was dead for twelve hours max. I- I watched the fucking launch,” he yelled. “I watched that damn launch. I heard from a news anchor that my brother died, and twenty-six years later, I hear that he’s in fucking space. And I apparently hear from the woman who trusted him as her second in command-” something flashed across her face, and Colt jerked his head towards Carl- “yeah, thank your doberman for that little detail, that he went to space thinking- thinking the last family he had was dead and I-” he shook his head. “You just- just expect me to be fucking okay with that?”

He didn’t get an answer. And he supposed that was an answer in and of itself.

Jody glowered at Stratt as Colt tucked his head into the crook of her neck, making a noise as she watched the woman skip over a part of the video. She raised an eyebrow as Colt made a strangled noise deep in his throat, wiping at his eyes. Stratt folded her hands behind her back. “Some things are better delivered face to face rather than through someone on a screen.”

“What, like the fact that my brother-in-law is in space and thinks my husband is dead?”

Eva ducked her head. “Believe me, this is in your and your family's best interest.”

She pursed her lips, turning her attention back to Colt. Her fingers traced over the faint stubble along his jawline, just starting to fade into a soft gray. “We don’t-” she tried to say, but Colt’s hand wrapped around her wrist and he shook his head. She swallowed, kissing his cheek. “I’m here, Colt.”

He whispered something back to her, just too quiet for her to hear, and threaded his fingers through hers. Stratt seemed to take this as some sort of sign, because soon enough the sound of Ryland sucking in a breath filled the room, and Colt’s attention snapped back to the screen.

Ryland, fidgety as always, drummed his fingers along the table. “I need you to track down Jody Moreno. She’s, she’s probably some big-time Hollywood director-” a smile ghosted across Colt’s face as he squeezed her hand- “if Hollywood still exists, but that’s besides the point. I’ve got one last thing to say, and it’s for her, so-” he gestured at the screen- “go find her. I’ll wait.”

Colt’s hand slipped out of her grasp, his arm wrapping around her shoulders, fingers tapping out nervous patterns on her shoulder as Ryland grimaced. “I just realized that this is gonna be so awkward if you can’t find her, but I’m committed now so-” he shrugged- “Heyyy Jody,” he said, waving slightly awkwardly. She smiled softly and waved back.

“I uh- yeah, this is weird, but bear with me.” He shook his head. “Uh, yeah. Hey. Long time, no see. I am uh, so I’m in space. Long story. But uh, I am aware that I don’t have any family left on Earth. You…you probably know that.” Colt’s arm around her shoulders tightened as she leaned against him, whispering reassurances “But I, I’ve got one last thing to say and I think you’re probably the last person I would have left if I ever came back.”

Colt finally let a sob he’d been desperately suppressing slip out of his mouth, the hand that had been resting on Stella’s shoulder rising up to his face. His teeth sunk into the back of that hand, his eyes glistening with tears as Ryland sat back in his chair, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“Colt loved you, so much.”

Being burned alive with his last memory being Tom fucking Ryder’s stupid face would be so much kinder than this. Gail fucking shooting him would be so much kinder than this. Actually blowing up would be so much fucking kinder than this.

Jody rested her head on his shoulder, eyes flicking down to her left hand. “I don’t even want to know how much this cost,” she teased, turning her head to kiss along his jawline.

“You’re worth it,” he whispered, interlacing his fingers with hers. “Besides, I’ve had, what, four years to think about it?”

She furrowed her brow, “We-” she started before looking up at him. “Dan wasn’t kidding then, about the-”

“He was not,” Colt confirmed. “I had a Pinterest board and everything; I was on a first-name basis with half the jewelers in LA. I had something lined up before the- the fall. I was gonna go pick up the ring after we wrapped that day.” He brought his free hand up to her face, tilting her chin as he pressed a kiss to her lips. “We were gonna go relax on a beach somewhere, wear a couple of swimming costumes-“ Jody rolled her eyes at him with a grin- “drink a few spicy margaritas, and then I was gonna ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

She nodded slightly, tucking her head under his chin, watching his thumb trace over the white gold band. “How long after-”

“I never stopped, Jodes,” he admitted. “I told you I never stopped loving you and I never stopped wanting to marry you. Life just,” he sighed, looking up at the sky that had begun to darken as twilight gave way to night. “Life just really kicked my ass for a bit there. It’s uh, it’s still kicking my ass honestly,” he grimaced. “‘M sorry if I’m being-”

Jody leaned against him, feeling his arms wrap around her, his warmth almost curling around her entirely. “I love you,” she whispered quietly. “I love you when you’re this heroic, tough guy stuntman who always gets back up, even if I still think the little thumbs up you do is complete stunt guy bullshit.” He huffed, rolling his eyes before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you when you’re having a bad pain day, and you need your crutches and have to ask for help-” something else flashed across Colt’s face as he looked away- “and I love you when-” she looked up at the sky, voice catching in her throat for a moment. “You’re not a hard person to love, Colt. I don’t know why you keep believing that, but it’s not true, and I will do everything it takes to prove you wrong.”

He was silent for a few moments, arms tightening around her waist. “I don’t deserve you,” he finally murmured into her hair, hands sliding into hers.

“I think you do,” she said. “Life has been shitty, but you deserve to have good things. I want you to have good things in your life, Colt.” She looked up at the sky one more time, watching the stars twinkle above them. “He’d want you to have good things in your life.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmured, squeezing her hands as his head ducked into the crook of her neck. “I just- God, I wish he could see it. Wish he could know.”

“I have a feeling he does.”

“Stay with me, love,” Jody urged, tugging gently at his jacket. He sucked in a breath, not realizing that he’d been holding his breath for so long. Ryland had barely moved, Colt realized, he hadn’t missed anything.

“I know he broke up with you and let me tell you I chewed him out for that like you wouldn’t believe but-” Ryland laughed slightly and Jody glanced at Colt’s face, finding the small hint of a smile confirming Ryland’s words- “he never stopped loving you. Breaking up with you, pushing you away, by his own admission, was the biggest mistake he’d ever made in his life. He- he tortured himself for it.” Colt stiffened almost imperceptibly as Ryan shot Jody a glance with furrowed brows. She whispered something to him, reaching up to ruffle his hair.  “I-” Ryland wiped at his eyes, and his twin brother fought the overwhelming urge to mirror him- “I took him to the hospital after you guys broke up, that’s uh- that’s what the texts were about. Sorry for being an ass.”

He closes his eyes. That specific memory is locked behind a door Colt swore he’d never open again. He’s going to keep it that way, and of course Jody knows this, and her hand doesn’t leave his.

Ryland shifted, bringing his legs up to sit cross-legged on the chair, the microphone catching the squeaking. “I don’t know how much he was able to talk to you when he was down in Australia, but you should, you should know that as soon as he got that call he was at the airport. I was-” he laughed, really laughed. Colt forced back a sob when he realized how long it had been since he’d heard that laugh that he could pick out from a crowd once upon a time- “we’d been talking earlier. Like twenty minutes before he got that call. I called him again while he was on the plane and he called me back like ‘oh hey, yeah, Ry, I’m in Australia. Jody asked for me. She’s doing this crazy sci-fi movie,’ and then he told me all about MetalStorm. Great idea, by the way. I wish I could’ve seen it.”

Jody finally cries.

She buries her head in his shoulder, clutching at the fabric of his shirt. He can feel a damp patch forming on his shirt as he traces lines up and down her back. The silence, however, sends a jolt down his aching spine. She’d never been particularly loud when she cried, especially compared to Colt, but something tells him these tears aren’t from grief. These are the tears that she’d wiped away while he sat with Sydney police officers who took his statement, the ones that glistened in the light as he forced himself through the explanation and subsequent realization of exactly how close he’d come to dying that night.

These are the tears that had welled up while she watched him give the jury his testimony about that same night, pointedly focusing his eyes on her so they didn’t accidentally drift towards the two people on the opposite side of the courtroom that Dan had to physically hold her back from, as Colt would say, beating the shit out of them.

“Bloody hell, I didn’t think that would get me,” she muttered, letting out the slightest sniffle as she turned back. “I just-”

“He’s missed some stuff,” Colt offered.

“Understatement of the millennium.”

He shrugged. “I mean, he has.”

“You’re deflecting,” Jody whispered as Colt looked away. “I know you know but-”

“Anyway, I’ll get to the point,” Ryland looked down, smiling to himself. “The happiest I ever saw my brother was whenever he was with you.”

The words landed like a blow he didn’t know Ryland was even capable of landing. Even worse, he’s had over thirty years of hits he’s taken to compare this pain to, and that was only counting his professional career, and still he couldn’t think of anything that held a candle to the pain radiating from the twin-brother-sized hole in his chest.

Ryland, of course, the bastard, kept talking.

“I’ll tell you right now that he would’ve married you, even after the accident. A very big reason I think he went was to win you back and uh, I don’t know if he did but considering the fact that I always saw you as a sister, I hope he at least convinced you to consider giving him another chance. Maybe he didn’t deserve it and that’s fair-” Colt tilted his head to the side, glancing at Jody, and nodded. He was swiftly given a sharp elbow to the side- “but, he loved you so much, Jody. I can’t- there aren’t even words to describe how much he loved you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after- after he uh-” he sniffled, rubbing his eyes, and his twin brother mirrored him exactly. “Fudge, now I’m crying. Regardless, I just- I want to thank you, for loving him.”

Colt sighed, looking down at the ground and nodding slightly. He let out a grunt as he felt something punch against his side, glancing to the side to see Stella firmly pressed against his side, her arms tightly wrapped around him. He gave a tight-lipped smile, blinking back the pressure behind his eyes as he fidgeted with the end of his daughter’s ponytail before he reached his other hand out to ruffle Ryan’s hair. “He’s missed a lot,” he said softly. “He’d love you both so much.”

“Even if you haven’t thought about him in years,” Ryland continued, and Jody couldn’t help but let out a snort,  “even if you’re married to someone else, which uh, will be super awkward, I realize.” 

Colt raised an eyebrow. “No faith in me,” he muttered.

“He does think that you are, ya know-”

“You didn’t think I was dead,” he nudged, wiping his eyes as one of his signature goofy grins spread across his face.

“I also knew the ins and outs of how you did that stunt, and I watched that footage over and over again until my eyes were burning. And then I stabbed you in the thigh with a pen,” she pointed out, raising an eyebrow as Ryan shot her a look of horror. “We have not told you the whole story about Sydney,” she realized slowly, before turning to Colt. “I could’ve sworn we did.”

“We found out Dad got drugged like-” he waved his hand in the air a few times- “however many hours ago that was. Which, how did that-”

“Doone’s goons dirtied my shirley, and not in a fun way.”

“What does that even mean?” Ryan whispered, shaking his head.

Colt shook his head, ruffling his son’s hair a bit once again, and then froze. The gesture almost too familiar as he looked back into Ryland’s eyes. 

Ryland, annoyingly, seemed to wince. And for whatever reason, Colt felt a pang of guilt reverberate through his chest. “Sorry man,” his twin said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “But uh, regardless, I’ll always see you as the closest thing I had to a sister.” 

Jody made a small noise and Colt watched her eyes glisten with tears that she quickly wiped away.

“And in an ideal world, I wouldn’t be up here, Colt would’ve never gotten hurt, and you two would be married and have the cutest kids ever. Colt always wanted kids, especially with you. And I would’ve loved to be the cool uncle to those kids.”

Eva ducked her head slightly, pointedly avoiding Jody’s glare as she shook Colt off of her. “And what would an ideal world be?” 

“One without astrophage,” she answered calmly. “You can’t deny-”

“I’m not denying shit, I just- I want to know why the fuck you lied-”

“It was a complicated situation involving Dr. Grace-”

“Ryland,” the four of them shouted in unison, as Eva flinched away. Jody crossed her arms, tilting her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes. “See, I’m not getting how lying about sending a guy to space to, you know, his twin brother-” she gestured to Colt- “his sister in law-” she pointed to herself, and then gestured back to Colt and the kids- “and his family is so bloody complicated. Please, enlighten me because I’d love to know how sitting around on a boat in the middle of God knows where while you refuse to let a grieving man, a grieving family, have closure is just so unfathomably complicated!”

“Saving the world is complicated.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Ryland and Rocky could tell us all about it.”

Stratt narrowed her eyes. “You have no idea what it has taken to get to this point.”

Jody raised an eyebrow. “You took the closest person I had to a brother. You took my children’s uncle, my son’s namesake even.” She took another step forward. “Maybe you’ve lived a cushy life on your insulated little boat, but back in the real world, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, very limited sunshine and a lot of people-”

“The death toll would be astronomically higher had Dr. Grace not gone. I cannot possibly make that more clear.”

“Oh, I understand that perfectly,” she hissed. “What I need you to make clear is why I had to find out that Ryland Grace was alive through a news broadcast, and not, oh I don’t know, the people who sent him to goddamn space.”

Stratt tilted her chin upwards as Jody leaned back on her heels, crossing her arms over her chest tightly. Carl’s eyes flicked between the two women, though for a moment he caught Colt’s own glare out of the corner of his eye, and decided that the best course of action would, for the time being, be to stay out of it.

“I want answers.”

“You’ll get them.” She folded her hands in front of her. “The primary reason I brought you here is as a favor to Dr-” she hesitated for a moment, mouthing the name Ryland as though it was foreign to her- “to Dr. Grace so that you could receive his final message. The secondary reason is that I understand I am going to face consequences for the actions, no matter how necessary they were, that I took, after the final phase of Project Hail Mary is implemented.” Eva looked at Colt. “Consider this an atonement for my sins.”

Jody huffed, retreating a few paces back to her family, keeping her gaze locked onto the woman. Colt’s arm returned to its place over her shoulders, and he tapped her upper arm once, drawing her attention back to him. “Jodes-”

“I’m pissed.”

“I know,” he whispered. And then quietly added, “Thank you.”

She gave a tight-lipped smile and leaned back against his shoulder, eyes flicking back to the screen as her arm tightened around her son. Ryland smiled softly back at them, face frozen in time in more ways than one.

“Part of me still hopes that part of you still loves him, even if he’s been gone twenty six years-” Colt sucked in a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut- “if my math is right.” Ryland paused for a moment, and Colt fought the scream that was lodged in his throat. “You two were, at least from my view, so perfect for each other, and I wish that you two had gotten your happy ending with each other.”

Colt made a small noise, burying his face in the top of Jody’s hair for a moment, tilting his head so he could keep one eye on the screen. On his brother. On Ryland, who should be right here next to him and Jody and their kids that he would adore and would adore him. On the twin brother that would forever have a space left in his and Jody’s wedding photos; whose absence has been slowly eating Colt alive for those past twenty-six years.

“And I know this might probably be super weird but I’m about to go save Rocky if I can so it’s not- it’s not like I’m coming home so just,” he trailed off, looking off to the side. Almost like he was looking away from Colt, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy reverberate through his chest at the idea of what Ryland was sacrificing, even if he didn’t know. He shot a glare at Stratt, who pointedly avoided the eyes of both of the twins.

 “I should probably wrap this up before I start talking in circles about Colt, but uh, I loved him, obviously, he was my brother. But-” Ryland gave a small, pained smile as a tear fell down the side of his face- “but I loved you too. You were my sister, Jody. And uh, I actually remembered you first if you can believe it. Like a solid few days before I remembered I had a twin. But I remembered him with you, basically inseparable.”

“You and Jody are gonna be together for a while, right?”

Colt blinked a few times. “Yeah? Why?”

Ryland shrugged, staring out the passenger side window. “Wanna know if I should start prepping to have a sister or not.”

“Ry, it’s been like six months,” he reminded him, face flushing slightly. “We’re still just getting to know each other. I don’t even know if she has siblings or not, and she only knows about you because she happened to start working-”

“Listen, Colt, I have always wanted a sister, okay?” He rested a hand on his twin’s shoulder. “You’re my brother, and I love you, but goodness, you drive me insane sometimes.”

He let out a snort. “You did not just say goodness-”

“Middle schoolers are incredibly impressionable.”

“That is such bullshit and you know it.”

Ryland swatted at him. “See! This is why you cannot screw things up with Jody. I need someone to vent to about you.”

“You have Dan,” he scoffed.

“Dan is your enabler. Jody at least calls you out on your cow shirt.”

“Is that your PG attempt at bullshit?”

Ryland nodded proudly. “Do not screw this up, Colt. I’ve said it before, but I mean it even more. Jody would be an awesome sister-in-law and she’s good for you. I want you to be happy. And I see how happy you are with her.”

“And you said I’d gone soft!”

“God forbid I want my brother to get a happy ending,” he jabbed, elbowing Colt as he took a hand off the wheel to swat back at him. “With the girl of his dreams, no less.”

Ryland smiled one last time in a way that had Colt’s chest tightening as the lump in his throat seemed to grow. “I hope you got your happy ending, Jodes.” He waved. And of course, Colt, Jody, Ryan, and Stella waved back.

“Thanks for loving my brother, even if it wasn’t forever.”

“It will be,” she whispered quietly, looking up at Colt as Ryland’s face disappeared. She reached up, resting her hand on his cheek and forcing him not to turn back to the darkened screen. She shuffled back a bit, leaving a small space for Stella and Ryan to tuck themselves in before she wrapped Colt and her kids in a tight hug.

He leaned down, resting his face in the crook of her neck for a moment. “You sure?”

“Positive.”

He smiled against her, taking a deep breath as he slowly lifted his head. “So,” he said sharply, steeling himself to look back at Stratt. “Are you ready to tell me why my brother wasn’t here to tell me all of that himself? Or is it too complicated for you?”

“It could be considered morally complicated.”

“Morally,” Colt spat, shaking his head in disbelief. “Morally fucking complicated? Complicated is the word you’re using to describe your morality?”

“Do you have a better word for it?”

“Yeah, I am currently on the side of you’re a terrible fucking person,” he snapped.

Stratt sighed. “Believe it or not, you are not the first person to say that to me.” She held up a hand as Colt opened his mouth once again. “I will stand by my actions because it has brought me to the end goal of saving the world. Were some of my actions morally dubious or outright wrong? Absolutely, but-”

“What, like lying to me about the fact that my twin brother is in space for twenty-six years?”

“I was referring more to the fact that I had to drug him to get him on that ship,” she announced sharply. “As well as induce the amnesia he experienced because I could not risk him sabotaging the mission as revenge against me for sending him.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Colt stared at the woman, finding nothing but a calculating glare in her blue-gray eyes. He fought the urge to claw at his chest, to do anything to get the weight settling over his ribs to go away so he could move air through his lungs. “What-” he began, voice trembling as Jody reached out to steady him- “what do you mean you had to drug him?”

Stratt said nothing.

“Why the fuck did you drug my little brother?” He demanded. “Why the hell would you wipe his fucking memory? Ryland- he’d- he was a teacher. His students are still alive! He wouldn’t jeopardize a mission that would save them! That’s not- that’s not Ryland! He wouldn’t do that!” Colt shouted, fighting the tremor running through his hands.

“We could not risk any potential-”

“Ryland wouldn’t do that,” he pleaded. “He’s not- he’s not like that, and if you actually knew him instead of treating him as a means to-” Colt cut himself off with a sharp inhale. “You- you wiped his memory because- because you thought he’d sabotage the mission as a form of- of revenge against you?” He asked, almost to himself, a nervous laugh undercutting his words.

Stratt nodded curtly.

“Why would he want revenge?” Jody asked, glaring at her.

The woman’s eyes flicked to Colt as she tilted her head to the side. She stayed silent, watching his jaw tighten and his arm drop from around Stella’s shoulders. He shifted to put himself in front of her, hand clenching into a fist at his side. She furrowed her brow as Colt narrowed his eyes.

“Why didn’t he say goodbye? I had everything cleared three days before the launch. If- if you were gonna knock him out for the flight, he would’ve- he would’ve had time to say goodbye, so why didn’t he? Or was he even able to?”

Again, she said nothing.

“So you drugged him before the launch,” he said quietly, the realization settling at the base of his spine with a chilling ache. “He was out for three days. That’s why he didn’t answer when I called him-” Jody went stiff beside him- “almost non-stop. That’s why- that’s why he needed me to answer the phone.” Colt took a step back. “He left me- he left me one hundred at twenty-seven voicemails and I-” Carl and Stratt exchanged a glance- “he was counting down. He was counting down. He- he had three hours.”

He stared at Stratt, and she sucked in a sharp breath at the look in his eyes.

“He knew you were going to drug him, didn’t he?”

“I don’t know if he knew I was going to-”

“Don’t argue the fucking semantics with me, you bitch,” he hissed. “Why the fuck was he counting down? Why the fuck did you drug him three days before the ship launched? Why the fuck would you wipe his damn memory? Why would Ryland want to sabotage a mission that would save billions of lives?”

There was a beat of silence as Stratt sucked in a breath. She opened her mouth, but was cut off as Ryan broke the silence. “You cut out part of the message,” he pointed out. “And you keep saying that this is a favor that’s being done on his behalf but it’s like you weren’t prepared for this message.” He crossed his arms. “I mean, think about it. If I were Yao or Ilyukhina, I’d want to include a last message to my loved ones. Would you have gone through all the trouble of basically kidnapping their families, or would you have just sent the log off to their respective national space agencies and let them show them?”

She blinked. “That’s an entirely-”

“He said something that you don’t want people to know.” Ryan crossed his arms. “That’s why you brought us here instead of sending this to NASA and letting them show us. That’s why you wouldn’t have just shown us at our house. You wanted us here on your boat so you could control the variables because you know he said something that you don’t want people to know yet, and that’s what you skipped over.”

He tilted his head to the side, and Stratt could have sworn that if he had been wearing glasses, she would’ve thought she was back at her desk in Baikonur. Five hours after the research center exploded. Three hours after she gave a man a choice.

“Dr. Komorov said that he would tell my dad anything that you chose not to. You’re hiding something.” Ryan took a step forward, narrowing his eyes as Eva flinched backwards. “So, you drugged my uncle three days before launch, which seems excessive and suspicious. Mainly because you said drugged rather than sedated or induced his coma. You had to wipe his memory for fear that he would sabotage the mission, dooming the planet, to enact revenge on you, despite the fact that his best character witness-” he jerked his head towards Colt- “would argue that that’s insane. And, you basically kidnapped my family to bring us to a controlled environment for a message that you don’t seem to be properly prepared to receive, likely because he said something you don’t want people to know, which is why you skipped over it.”

“You’re very perceptive,” Stratt said calmly, though the shaking hand she tried to hide behind her back gave her away like a flashlight in a darkened room.

Ryan looked back at his father, grimacing as he saw the questioning look in his eyes. He squeezed his own eyes shut before turning back to Stratt and ducking his head. “He didn’t want to go to space, did he? That’s why you had to drug him and wipe his memory. You had to drug him because he wasn’t cooperating, and you wiped his memory because you were scared he’d sabotage the mission to exact revenge on you for sending him to space against his will.”

The room fell silent as Colt’s throat ran dry. Jody pulled away from him, and he nearly let out a noise at the loss of contact. He still held Stella close against his side, eyes darting between his son and Stratt. He tried to say something, say anything, but if anything did come out of his mouth, all of it was drowned out by Ryland’s screaming in his ears.

“I did what I had to do to ensure that the Hail Mary would launch on schedule. Our casualty estimates would rise exponentially if we delayed the launch. Dr. Grace was the only feasible option.”

“Did you just- an option?” Colt asked breathlessly. “An option. Not a person. Not, apparently, as I’ve been told so many times, your second in command. Just- just an option. I- so you just- without- without a fucking-”

“I gave him three hours. When he didn’t make the right decision-”

“Three fucking hours is not enough time to make a fucking decision like that!” Colt shouted. “I don’t give a shit if he made the right decision or not! You gave him three hours to think about fucking killing himself like any regular person would be able to come up with an answer in that amount of time!”

“We didn’t have any more time-”

“You had three goddamn days!” He screamed, tears burning against his skin. “You ever think that maybe, I don’t fucking know, talking to the only person he had left would’ve maybe helped him make that decision?”

“You were believed to be dead-”

“Well, fuck me then. I guess I’m just a ghost coming back to haunt you and my fucking corpse is at the bottom of Sydney Harbor,” he snarked, throwing up his free hand that wasn’t holding Stella tightly. “He needed to talk to someone.”

“You ignored his calls for-”

“Yeah, my bad, I was a little busy trying not to get fucking murdered by the absolutely staggering waste of carbon that is Thomas fucking Ryder.”

Eva looked away. “I didn’t want to send him. Grace was a good man-”

“He’s still alive!”

“For our intents and purposes, he’s just as dead as you’ve thought him to be for the last twenty-six years!”

Colt caught the flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye too late. He reached out, grabbing Ryan’s arms and yanking him back as he barely caught the flash of blonde hair moving in front of him. He tucked both of them behind him as Carl caught up to what was happening, but not before the punch landed.

“You heartless bitch!” Jody screamed, grabbing the edge of Stratt’s jacket before she landed another blow against the woman’s jawline, her knuckles stinging with the ache of the impact. “You murdered him! You murdered him and you fucking lied about it.” She took a step back, sending a sharp elbow into Carl’s arm before whirling around on him. “You fucking put a hand on me after what you did to my family, and I swear to God I will make you pay for it.”

“She means it,” Colt echoed. “And I don’t think I need to make anything about what I’m going to do if you or anyone on this boat puts a hand on my wife particularly obvious.”

“My job is to protect-”

“Go. To. Hell,” Jody snapped, letting out a huff as she backed away from Stratt, returning to Colt’s side and interlacing her fingers tightly with his. Both of them formed a barrier in front of Ryan, who had also put Stella behind him.

Stratt slowly stood up, Carl stabilizing her for a moment before she shrugged him off. “We had no other option.”

“Yes you-”

“There is enough blood on my hands,” she snapped. “Annie, Martin, Li-Jie, Olyessa, Ryland, the sixteen researchers who were vaporized alongside my science specialists in Baikonur. The hundreds of millions of people who have died in the last twenty-six years from starvation, hypothermia, common diseases from an overstrained medical system across the globe.” Eva clenched her fists. “He knew the stakes. I knew he could do it. And if he didn’t, if he had stayed-” she narrowed her eyes at Colt- “you’d be trading one family for another that would expire from starvation in thirty years.”

“I am not asking for your forgiveness, and I am not asking for your understanding; I am here to atone for my sins and offer the closure that I have deprived you of for twenty-six years.” She folded her hands in front of her. “I did what I had to do to minimize the blood on my hands. It was not my choice to make your brother an unwilling martyr to humanity but-”

“You should have told me,” Colt interjected, quiet but sharp.

Eva paused, swallowing hard. “Yes.”

“Should’ve let him talk to me.”

“Had I known-”

“You should have let him talk to me.”

“We believed that at the time of the explosion and his sedation, your brother had no immediate family,” she chewed the inside of her cheek, “not even a dog. We believed he had no one that would miss him.”

“That’s a load of bull-”

“Colton, everyone in this room, in fact a majority of people on this boat, miss him. And I’m sorry he cannot come home, and I am sorry I cannot undo what has been done.” Eva bowed her head as though she was praying. “I can offer you the closure I should have given you decades ago, I can give you your brother’s last words to Earth, and I can promise that his sacrifice will be the reason that your children get to live in a world with a brightly shining sun once again.”

Colt stifled a sob, squeezing Jody’s hand. “You had no right.”

“I know.”

“You murdered him.”

“I know.”

“I-” he rested a hand over his heart- “am an only child because of you. And if I have to live the rest of my life knowing that my twin is alive out there, lightyears away from everyone he’s ever loved, and grapple with the fact that he thinks he’s alone? Then goddamnit, I hope the next time I hear about you is when someone sticks you in a cramped and miserable prison cell, where you will rot for the rest of your goddamn life.”

He pushed the hair out of his eyes and let out a sigh. “Just, save the sun before that. You shot my brother into space against his will. You ripped him away from me and told him I was dead. The least you could do is make sure he didn’t do it all for nothing.”