Work Text:
“What’s with all the cheese? Has it gone bad?” David asks, looking up as he finishes restocking the facial cleansers and sees Patrick gathering several different cheeses out of the refrigerator.
“No, I thought since the store is closed tomorrow and it’s supposed to be a beautiful day, I could take you on a picnic,” Patrick responds as he places his selected cheeses on the counter near the cash.
“Do I need to remind you that the last time you offered to take me on a picnic I ended up carrying you up a mountain after a wayward stick impaled your right foot?”
“I don’t think that’s all that happened on that picnic, David,” Patrick teases with one of his signature upside-down smiles, causing David to look down and smile fondly at his engagement rings before looking back at his fiancé.
“But… considering those other unplanned misfortunes, I thought you deserved a do-over of just wine and cheese in a real basket, no mountains, hiking trails, backpacks, or wayward pointy sticks involved.”
“Hey,” David says as he walks over to where Patrick is standing, placing his hands on his fiancé’s hips, and pulling him close. “The last picnic was perfect, no do-over needed.”
Wrapping his arms around David’s neck, Patrick leans in for a soft kiss. “Maybe do-over was the wrong word. I would just like to take you on the picnic you were expecting. I don’t think we’ll be able to find any private English gardens or a meadow with men on horseback trotting in the background, but your mom made the creek sound lovely while they were there last week.”
“So, let me get this straight, you’re planning a date around my dad almost getting arrested for indecent exposure after he and my mom decided to go skinny dipping in the creek. In Schitt’s Creek.”
“Yes?” Patrick responds inquisitively.
“Well, as romantic as that sounds,” David’s voice drips with sarcasm “it also sounds very buggy.”
“Yes, but you have a spray for that. Come on David, it will be romantic, I promise. I’ll make it romantic,” Patrick pleads, leaning in for another kiss, which David cannot resist as he brings a hand up to cup Patrick’s face.
“Okay, I will go on a picnic with you. But only because I see Heather’s new triple-cream Camembert amongst your cheese selections and I haven’t gotten to try it yet,” David responds as he looks over at the various cheeses on the counter.
“That sounds like a fair deal. Now why don’t you finish sweeping while I pay for all this, because I may have some other romantic plans in mind for you tonight,” Patrick lowers his voice as he places another soft kiss on David’s lips.
“Or… how about we don’t sweep, just take the cheese, and get a jump start on whatever those plans may be,” David smiles as he pulls Patrick closer, pressing their bodies together.
“Not happening,” Patrick says with a teasing smile as he extracts himself from David’s embrace. “Now get the broom, David,” he remarks as he lightly swats David’s butt before heading behind the counter.
XXXXXXX
Pulling into the gravel parking lot near the creek, Patrick shifts the car into park before glancing over at his fiancé. “So, what do you think David? Does this spot look less murder-y than our last picnic?”
“Possibly. But still undetermined.”
“Okay, David,” Patrick says with a laugh, lifting David’s hand up to his lips for a kiss. “Come on, let’s find a nice spot for our picnic.”
Both getting out of the car, Patrick grabs the picnic basket from the back seat along with the brown blanket.
“That’s a nice basket,” David remarks as they make their way to the trail. “Where’d you get it?”
“Twyla let me borrow it. I guess her mom’s second cousin twice removed weaves them. If you really like it, maybe we have a new vendor opportunity?”
“With someone in Twyla’s family? That’s a real quick no.”
Reaching out his right hand, while holding the basket and blanket in his left, Patrick takes David’s hand in his as they stroll along the banks of the babbling creek beside them, the bright summer sun shining down. Patrick’s heart swells at the way his fiancé’s four golden rings feel against his own skin. He looks down at their joined hands before glancing over at David, his face full of fondness and love.
“This is nice,” David remarks as they continue down the dirt trail, surrounded by grass and clover. He looks around, taking in the tall grasses staying in the breeze and wildflowers blooming off to the side. Even the small butterfly floating amongst the blossoms does not make him nervous, here with Patrick’s hand in his.
“You’ve never been down here before, have you?” Patrick asks.
“No, of course not. Why would I? Wait, have you?”
“Not recently, but when I first moved here, I came down here a couple times,” Patrick admits, raising his eyebrows in response to David’s skeptical smirk. “What? I told you I had a lot of things to think about and it just so happens I like to think about them in calm and serene places.”
“So not only on mountaintops?”
“No, David. Sometimes on mountaintops, sometimes by babbling creeks, sometimes in my car as I just drove around or… you know… alone in my room,” Patrick admits with a shy smile.
“I think I want to hear a bit more about that last one,” David teases.
“Oh, I think you’ve already heard plenty about those times,” Patrick laughs.
“Yes, I have,” David agrees in a sultry tone, before garnering a more serious expression on his face. “You know, I wanted to think about you too, I just… didn’t want to get my hopes up. That I could have you, have this,” David admits as he lifts their joined hands for emphasis. “Both Alexis and Stevie tried to tell me you were into me, but I just couldn’t let myself imagine… I mean, if you weren’t…” he shrugs as his voice trails off.
Patrick chuckles lightly to himself, shaking his head. “And here I thought I was being so obvious. Sometimes it felt like I was holding a flashing neon sign over my head that read I’m into David Rose just hoping you’d notice.” They both laugh as Patrick releases their hands and points ahead. “I think there’s a nice shady spot up there where I used to sit when I’d come here. Probably a good spot for our picnic.”
Making their way over, closer to the banks of the creek, they walk towards a large maple tree shading the ground below. “So, I’m not positive because I never actually looked at the paperwork, but I think I may own this land,” David comments as Patrick hands him the picnic basket so he can spread out the blanket.
“Oh, that’s right. Sometimes I forget about the whole ‘you owning the town’ situation.”
“Do you think that’s something that becomes communal property after we’re married? Are you ready to be co-owner of the fine town of Schitt’s Creek? Possibly for the rest of your life because I doubt anyone else is going to bother buying it from us.”
“If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you, then yes, absolutely,” Patrick remarks as he stands up beside David, cupping his face and planting a soft kiss on his lips before taking the picnic blanket out of his hands. “Also, we need to get that paperwork from your dad because I will be looking it over.”
“Of course you will,” David rolls his eyes and then takes a cautionary look around his surroundings, ensuring no bugs with milky exoskeletons or sharp, pointy things that may tear at his clothing are visible before sinking down to his knees on the blanket. Holding out a hand, he beckons his fiancé to join him. Patrick places the basket down on the middle of the blanket and reaches his other hand out to David, taking it in his as he sits down beside him.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” Patrick says, his voice full of fondness for the man he loves, as he rubs his thumb against the back of David’s hand.
“Thank you for planning this for us and I promise to appreciate you today.”
“Hey, getting to spend days like today with you for the rest of our lives is all the appreciation I need.”
“Okay… you can’t just say things like that to me. If you make me cry this much before the wedding, the bags under my eyes are going to be big enough to hold everything that’s in that picnic basket. The last thing we need is me looking hideous in our wedding photos.”
“Not possible. You’re going to look beautiful,” Patrick says softly as he reaches out to wipe away a tear forming in David’s right eye. David turns his face to lightly kiss Patrick’s palm, squeezing his other hand which is still held in his own.
“Okay, enough sentimentality. Let’s see what you packed in here because I’m starving,” David breaks the tension as he lets go of Patrick’s hand and reaches for the basket.
Opening the lid, David pulls out a red zippered case with a bright white cross on the front along with a small plastic bottle. “So, I take it these are new,” he laughs, holding up the travel first-aid kit in one hand and a bottle of hand sanitizer in the other.
Patrick shrugs as his lips turn down in one of his upside-down smiles. “Someone told me I should never come to a picnic without them.”
“Well, whoever told you that is very smart,” David responds with a smile before reaching back into the basket and pulling out a bottle of wine. “Ooh, this is a good choice to go with our cheese,” he comments as he looks over the local Pinot Noir they stock at the store.
“I thought so, plus I didn’t have time to run to the wine shop in Elmdale and I figured a bottle of Zhampagne from Brebner’s would be incorrect for our picnic.”
“So incorrect,” David remarks as he continues to unpack the basket; apples, strawberries, crackers, and several cheeses being placed on the blanket. “Let’s see, the new Camembert, so excited to try that. And I see you splurged on the blue cheese, that’s good with strawberries. Ooh and I love this cheddar on apple slices. This is perfect, Patrick. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Patrick smiles as he pours them each a glass of wine, recorking the bottle, and handing a cup to David. “Cheers!”
“Cheers!” David replies, smiling back, as he lifts his cup and brings it together with Patrick’s.
Setting out small plastic plates and napkins, Patrick unwraps the blue cheese from its foil packaging as David dives into the triple-cream Camembert.
“Mumm,” David moans as he takes his first bite. “Now this is vivacious… What?” He exclaims as Patrick starts to laugh.
“Nothing. You’re just really cute, especially when food turns you into a human thesaurus.”
“Well, if you’re saying I’m my mother’s son, I suppose I lamentably concur,” David smirks as he lifts his cup to take a sip of wine. “And speaking of our mothers, don’t think I didn’t see that box of cookies at the bottom of the basket. I can’t believe you got a care package and didn’t tell me.”
“No care package. Do you really think I’m not capable of baking cookies?”
“Well, my general stance is you are hyper-capable while also being unassumingly sexy, but as far as the cookies are concerned, I’m going to have to sample the product first. Now will you hand me some of the blue cheese and also the strawberries.”
“Of course, and I’ll take some of the Camembert because I agree, it is quite vivacious,” Patrick responds with a mocking, but tender smile. The two enjoy each other’s company over wine and cheese by the creekside beneath the sunshine, talking of nothing and everything; their life, their store, their future together. Hands are held, smiles are given, soft glances are shared, and cookies are sampled and met with chocolate-scented kisses of approval. The day is perfect.
“Thank you for today, Patrick. It’s been perfect,” David remarks as he leans back against Patrick’s chest, interlacing their fingers together on his own chest, picnic basket and remnants of their lunch pushed to the side.
“It has been,” Patrick responds from behind David, placing a soft kiss on his fiancé’s shoulder. “I should have brought you here for the proposal. I’m sorry I dragged you up that mountain.”
“What? Patrick, no,” David retorts emphatically, sitting up and turning his torso around to look Patrick in the eye. “No. That trail and the vista mean something to you, something very important to your journey and our relationship. And maybe the whole day wasn’t flawlessly executed, but it’s still one of the happiest days of my life.”
“I know, mine too. But still, you hated every minute of that hike.”
“I didn’t hate it, I just didn’t realize how special that place was to you,” David says softly, moving to sit up on his knees, lifting his hands to cup Patrick’s face, and leaning in for a gentle kiss. “I loved your proposal. It was imperfectly perfect.”
“Okay, David.”
Still holding Patrick’s face in his hands, David looks into his fiancé’s eyes. Into the eyes of the man who has shown him love like he has never known before and has given him happiness he never knew existed and a life he could only ever dream about. David places one more kiss on Patrick’s lips before wrapping his arms around his fiancé in a warm embrace, feeling Patrick’s lips immediately press against that special spot on his neck. That spot where they fit together like perfect puzzle pieces.
Holding Patrick close, David looks around, his eyes coming to focus on the shimmering creek flowing in front of him. Focusing on the land that is his, this place that he owns. This town just may be your saving grace, his dad’s lawyer said to them that day as they all sat in their old mansion for the last time. In that moment, David never could have imagined he might be right. This place has saved him in ways he did not know possible and brought him everything he never knew to wish for in life.
Pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, David lets Patrick go and backs up, maneuvering his body till he is down on one knee in front of the man he loves with his entire heart and soul. He reaches out to take Patrick’s hand in his, tears forming in his eyes.
“What’s going on?” Patrick asks quietly, repeating David’s previous words back to him. It’s almost a whisper, as if speaking too loudly will disturb this beautiful moment
“I was just thinking that maybe this place means something to me and since I’m here with the love of my life on this beautiful day, it felt like the perfect place to ask you to marry me.”
“David…” Patrick breathes out.
“Patrick Brewer, will you marry me?”
“Yes David. Of course, yes, I will marry you.”
With tears blurring his vision, David reaches out to take Patrick’s face in his hands once more, golden rings pressing against his fiancé’s stubbled cheek, the same, but also different from their very first kiss. “I love you, Patrick,” David breathes out before bringing their lips together.
“I love you too, David. So much,” Patrick replies, his lips never leaving his fiancé’s.
It does not take much for that sweet kiss to turn heated as Patrick wraps his arms around the other man’s waist and pulls their bodies together till he is flush against David, his hips slotted perfectly next to David’s still bended knee. Patrick grips David’s thigh and uses his body to push his fiancé backward till he finally concedes and lays down on the soft blanket. Lying down beside him, Patrick keeps his arms wrapped around David, as if he never wants to let go, as they continue to kiss passionately beneath the shade of the maple tree, the sunlight peaking through the branches.
“Is this a good idea considering what happened with my parents?” David asks, his lips still ghosting against Patrick’s.
“Probably not. Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” David breathes out as Patrick moves to press kisses along his jawline before sucking softly on his favorite spot on his fiancé ‘s neck. David uses his left hand to cup the back of Patrick’s head as his right hand comes to rest on the other man’s hip. His eyes travel down the length of Patrick’s firm body, stretched out next to his own. Patrick moves to slot his leg in between David’s, bringing their bodies closer together as a dark flutter catches David’s eye, drawing his attention away from his fiancé. “Patrick,” he whispers.
“Yeah, you like that baby?” Patrick’s breath brushes over David’s ear as he presses his hips harder against his fiancé’s body.
“No, Patrick… Patrick… Look…” David raises his head and points towards the black-winged bird who just landed at the far end of their blanket. “What the fuck is that?”
“What?” Patrick asks, untangling the top half of his body from David’s and looking around.
“That… right there,” David whispers, emphatically, while pointing in the large bird’s direction, his golden rings glittering against the bright summer sun.
“You mean the crow?” Patrick asks, looking back at David.
“Yes, the crow. Why is it watching us?”
“I don’t think it’s watching…”
“Oh yes, it is. Believe me, I’ve heard more about crows and their eyes in the last few months than I have ever wanted in my lifetime. I would know if it’s watching us.”
“No, look. It’s not watching us. It just wants the wrapper.”
“The what?”
“The foil wrapper… from the blue cheese. See,” Patrick points as the crow tentatively hops onto the edge of the blanket and pecks at the shiny piece of foil that had been tossed aside earlier. “Crows like shiny objects, they collect them.”
“Oh, so you’re an expert on crows now?"
“No, that’s still your mother. But I think that’s pretty common knowledge.”
“Wait, what types of shiny objects?” David asks as he cautiously glances at his four glistening rings, tightly gripping Patrick’s bicep.
“Well, obviously garbage. But also, trinkets and scrap metal. Perhaps glittery jewelry,” Patrick replies with a mischievous smile.
“We have to get out of here.” David whispers, harshly, as his eyes open wide.
“David, I’m just teasing you. I’m sure your rings are perfectly safe.”
“No, we have to leave. I don’t trust that thing. Believe me, my mom has stories, frightening stories.”
“Okay David. Let’s go.”
“Good, I’m glad you’re being so sensible about this potentially dangerous situation.
“Well, actually it’s more because the love of my life just asked me to marry him and I would much rather consummate that occasion in our bed than on a picnic blanket on the ground.”
“That too. Now let’s get out of here, but carefully, no sudden movements.”
“Okay David,” Patrick says again with a laugh as he slowly untangles their bodies and starts to sit up.
The crow looks up, sensing their motion. Nodding its head in their direction, the large black bird grips the shiny wrapper in its beak before taking flight, flying off towards the bright summer sun.