Chapter Text
"It's good to see you again, Amamiya-kun. I hope you have been doing well?"
Ren fidgeted with his sleeves, smiling nervously. Mementos had really taken a toll on him the other day, not to mention having to run for dear life away from the Reaper… He hoped it wasn't too noticeable in his demeanor. "As well as I can be, Doc."
Maruki seemed concerned, but did not press further, thankfully. Instead, he flipped to a blank page in his notepad. "Last time we met, you mentioned having a brother. Would you mind telling me more about him?"
Ren flinched. He did mention Mako-nii offhandedly last time, didn't he? "Ah. Yeah. Ehm… Mako-nii… He was… He was a great brother…"
"Oh— I'm sorry, I didn't realize… You don't have to tell me about him if you don't wish to. I wouldn't want to make you feel terrible, but talking about him might help?"
"I… I guess? I never really talked about him to anyone after his death. Well—other than his friends, but that would be kind of obvious? Or would it? Ah— wait— I'm rambling…" Ren's hands moved to his bangs, twirling and tugging on them. "Geez, it really has been a while…"
"Your brother's friends? Are you well acquainted with them?"
"I'd say so? They kind of helped my brother take care of me, since I couldn't be separated from him. There wasn't really a place for me to go other than the dorms with him… I'd say we grew pretty close because of that? They're kind of like… another set of older siblings? Kind of? Except for Ken, he's around the same age as me. I can't really talk to them right now, though. Probation terms…"
"I see. Losing your brother and being unable to contact your family must be a great source of pain…" Maruki tapped his pen against the notepad. "If you'd like, you can feel free to talk to me about them. Anything at all! I'm sure your brother wouldn't want you to repress those memories."
Ren thought about it for a moment. Talking about them wouldn't be too bad. And it would be nice to go back to those times for just a moment… How he wished he had his brother's mp3 to fiddle around with right now, or at least something in his hands. "Well…"
Ren stood by the side in tears, watching his brother in the hospital bed that was much too large for him. Takeba-san had taken the seat next to him at his insistence. He was too restless to sit. It had been eight days since his brother had collapsed on the dorm roof, and Ren was beginning to think he'd never wake up. Takeba couldn't do much to comfort the boy. After all, they barely knew each other.
He stood in awkward silence with Takeba-san—if you ignored his blubbering sobs—and tried to find anything he could focus on that wasn't the thought of his brother dying, leaving him alone forever.
Ren finally stopped crying once Makoto started to stir. He stood there in silence, schooling his face as Takeba-san started to talk with Mako-nii. He didn't quite get all that she was saying. It was confusing. And scary. And Ren didn't like that his brother had to be caught up in all of this. But what could Ren do? He was just a weak little kid that no one ever took seriously.
When Takeba-san finished, Ren didn't move from the side of the bed. Usually, he would leave once Takeba-san decided it was time to go, but this time, he wanted a bit more time with his brother. After all, Mako-nii had finally woken. Ren had stubbornly clung to the hospital bed's sheets until Takeba-san sighed, promising to wait for him outside the door.
Makoto stared down at him, and Ren couldn't help but wilt a little, reminded of what he said when they were ascending the dorm stairs.
"Mako-nii… did you… really mean it? When you said… that you didn't care… whether you lived or died?" Ren had long known about his brother's apathetic view on life, but knowing that subconsciously was different from hearing it straight out. "That's… that's not true, right? You don't actually think that, right?"
Makoto didn't answer him, instead opting to look anywhere that wasn't the boy. Ren bristled, hands clutching the bedsheets tighter. "You—!"
SLAP!
Ren looked at his own hand in shock, but the anger was quickly winning out. "You're an idiot, nii-chan! An idiot! Do you hear me?! Maybe you don't care if you live or not, but—" Ren sniffled, those tears he was holding back returning with a vengeance, "but I do! I care! Because if you die… then… then… what do I have left to live for..?"
Ren lowered his head, missing the stricken look on Makoto's face. He ran out of the room, Makoto's gaze following him all the way out the door.
Ren panted outside the room, trying to wrangle his tears once more. Stupid crybaby… can't ever stop crying… always just being a bother to nii-chan…
Takeba-san stood awkwardly next to him, offering a hand. Ren took it, and the two of them began walking back to the dorms.
"You're lonely too, huh?" She whispered softly. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but… hey, if you ever need someone to talk to… y'know, we're in the same boat…"
Ren barely acknowledged it, simply humming a response. Maybe he would take her up on that. Maybe not. He didn't know yet. He didn't know any of these people yet.