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It had been a week since he joined the Avatar and his friends at the Western Air Temple. When Zuko first came to offer to be the Avatar’s (“His name is Aang!”) firebending teacher, he hadn’t expected it to be easy. He had chased them all over the world from the South Pole to the North, attacking them relentlessly throughout the time they were travelling.
They had already given him a chance to join them against his fa- the Fire Lord, and he returned their generosity by shooting fire at them. They had no reason to give him any more opportunities for him to redeem himself, and yet they chose to anyway.
Zuko would never be able to make it up to them.
He knew this, and yet he couldn’t help but wonder if it could ever be different. Every night he would be sitting in his makeshift camp away from the rest of the group and he would think back on what the Ava- Aang had said to him after what happened at Pouhai.
“Do you think we could have been friends?” the Avatar asked with such a hopeful twinge to his voice. It starkly reminded Zuko of his age. At twelve years old, he was expected to defeat his father and take down the Fire Nation, which had already won, even if the Avatar and his peasant friends couldn’t see that yet.
Zuko didn’t give it that much thought as he was already flinging out fire. His head was still hazy and he had no idea what the Avatar had planned to do with him; why he had kept him around instead of letting him be captured by Zhao.
It wasn’t until after, when he was returning back to his ship that he thought about what the Avatar had said.
Zuko wondered how different things would be if he had stopped to just listen. He could see now that Aang was way too kind to have saved him with any ulterior motives. And he had immediately gone to assume the worst.
He wouldn't get that opportunity again, though. That was clear now more than ever by the way he was in the forest alone right now.
It had become a part of his routine to go out and find food for himself. Katara would make and dish out food for everyone else, Zuko would make tea (it had taken so long to convince them that it wasn’t poisoned), and then he would go back to his campsite and eat whatever he had found for himself earlier that day, which usually consisted of plants, berries, or sometimes dead animals. He hadn’t been doing very well in the killing animals department though. As much as he tried, it didn’t come easy having to kill other creatures that weren’t doing any harm.
Uncle would spout some proverb about the circle of life.
Azula would mock his lack of strength to deal a killing blow that their family would do relentlessly.
Father would call him weak.
He’s been trying not to think about what he thinks about him anymore.
Either way, he was out in the forest alone, trying to find some sort of plant or berries that he could eat. He had stumbled across birds, hog monkeys, and at least three different types of rabbit. Zuko hadn’t tried to catch a single one.
At times like this, Zuko really wished that he could just suck up his stupid feelings. If he was more like Sokka, he wouldn’t be having this problem right now. If he was more like literally anyone else, he would be eating with everyone instead of fending for himself. Since he and Aang had gone to the ruins of the Sun Warriors and met Ran and Shaw, the group had seemed to be more accepting of him and his presence around them. Despite that, he still kept to himself. He knew that he was just making up for the damage he had done and he would never be able to truly be a part of their group. Aang would sometimes try and invite him to join them, but Zuko knew no one really wanted that.
Toph was the only one who he casually talked to outside of training and when Zuko would make tea, and even that was weird.
Zuko didn’t understand how she could so easily be around him when he burned her feet. He took away her sight with his fire. It hit a bit too close to home.
The least he could have done was be able to do what she said and carry her to where she wanted to go. Even now that her feet were fully healed, she would climb up onto his shoulders. It was weird that she still wanted anything to do with him. If he didn’t know better, he would say that she didn’t hate him for everything he’s done. But then Zuko would take one glance at her feet and the glares he received from every direction and he would realise that it must just be his stupid pressing hope that he couldn’t seem to stamp out.
Zuko was looking at the trees surrounding him, trying to see if there could be any berries higher up. So far he hadn’t had much luck.
He was about to give up and turn around.
He stepped forward.
Snap!
It stopped his breath short as he met the dirt beneath him. Something was clamping around his foot. It felt like a million knives piercing through his skin and making their home. He opened his eyes through the blur of tears.
There was a metal contraption attached to his foot. Breathing through the sting of tears, he tried to get a better look.
He stopped breathing.
His heartbeat pounded in his ears.
It was coated in blood and wrapped around mangled flesh.
A blinding pain flooded through his foot, overcoming all of his senses. He started to writhe in agony, instinctively trying to draw his foot out and get it off.
A scream clawed its way out of his throat. The relentless, debilitating feeling of pain was all he could feel. Nausea washed over him, dragging him down.
No one was expecting him back. No one was going to look for him. No one would question where he was. No one cared.
Zuko was all alone.
He was so fucked.
Releasing a short, shuddering breath that helplessly broke off into a sob, Zuko forced himself to look down. He had to know how bad it was. He had to look.
He looked down. And immediately looked away.
The sight of gore was nearly enough to make him throw up. It was some sort of animal trap, probably to kill pests or catch prey. Zuko was either both or neither of those things depending on if someone were to find him. And that was unlikely.
Holding his breath, he kept his eyes on his foot. An ugly sob ripped out of his mouth. It was grotesque. Blood oozed out of where the metal’s teeth shredded his skin, pouring out onto the floor, staining the dirt.
“Help!”
His throat was trying to choke out his screams, blocking the noise.
“Anybody!”
It was strangling him, locking itself tight before he was left to dissolve into crying.
“Please!”
No one was coming.
He ignored the nagging thought.
He waited.
The trees continued to sway in the wind, dancing to a sound that Zuko couldn’t hear. Birds twittered happily in the distance, singing beautiful songs that his uncle would have commented on had he been here. But he wasn’t.
Animals ran throughout the forest free, leaves glided through the air, and there were flowers in full bloom. They mocked him, laughing at his misery, at the desolate situation he was in.
The forest was apathetic to his crushing pain, dampening his cries. It could sense he didn’t deserve any sympathy. He wasn’t getting any saving grace. All he was going to get was a rotting corpse eternally attached to a trap meant for animals.
Maybe that was on purpose.
Where everything around him was a bright green, he was laying in his own blood on dying grass.
A raw, screeching fracture of a sound was all he could manage. It sounded animalistic as he pushed every ounce of fading strength into the scratched scream. It tasted like blood and iron, and he numbly realised he must have been biting his tongue.
He didn’t care who came, he didn’t care if they killed him after, he didn’t care what they did to him. Zuko just didn’t want to be here anymore.
The devastating silence that followed was absolute.
No one was coming.
Feeling frantic, he whipped his head back to the trap. He ignored the immediate vomit that rose up, mixing with the blood in his mouth. Reaching shaky hands to the metal, he tried to see if there was anything that could release or break it.
His hands stilled.
The metal trap was covered in orange and brown, weathered down over the years and worn with age. It was decades old. Any lever that might have been able to undo the trap would hardly work anymore.
And no one was going to be coming to check their trap.
No hunter would come after decades have already passed to see if their trap had caught any animals. No one would check to see if the pest they had been trying to kill was dealt with.
No one was coming.
No one was coming.
Crunch.
Twigs snapping and leaves crumbling sliced through the silence.
Zuko’s breath hitched.
This sounded different to the rest of the ambient noise from the forest. Where everything seemed far away, this was sharp, brittle. Clear snapping followed one after the other. It was circling him, painstakingly slow.
His eyes darted around as he tried to track the continuous sounds closing in on him. It was no use. No matter what he tried, he was a sitting turtle duck. Zuko didn’t have enough energy left to put up a fight.
Something was prowling, and Zuko was its prey.
He tried to quieten his gasping, but the only thing it accomplished was making his breaths more rapid. The bright red seeping out of his wound had never been more apparent. It was practically a beacon to every animal that wanted an easy dinner. At the thought of it, a haze of dizziness came over him.
Zuko was at the complete mercy of this creature.
Looking around in circles, his eyes tried to lock onto something. The vibrant greenery’s innocence was hiding a predator. The birds had gone silent. He couldn’t hear a single wasp-cricket. The trees stood still and silent.
A shining pair of eyes found him first.
They burned through the leaves trying desperately to hide them. The eyes looked down at him lying helplessly on the ground. Stalking closer, two antlers made shape through the shadows.
Zuko choked.
The saber-tooth moose lion sunk its claws into the dirt as it moved forwards in silence. It was slow, taking its time. You could see its sharp fangs from a mile away, and yet the animal made no move to bare them. It felt no need to. Zuko was already distinctly aware of his imminent death.
No one was going to help him.
Paw by paw, the saber-tooth moose lion came closer.
In no time, the animal was directly in front of Zuko meagerly curled around himself.
It bent down his head.
This was it.
He had no fight left to give.
He was tired of fighting.
The nausea was crushing.
He was so tired.
The saber-tooth moose lion’s head was at Zuko’s level.
It sniffed, probably smelling the blood coating all over him.
Its breath was on Zuko’s face, brushing against his cheeks like a continuous breeze of wind.
Zuko was frozen to the spot.
All he could do now was wait for more agony. He had thought getting burned was bad, then he had thought the animal trap was bad. Zuko doubts any of that would beat getting eaten alive.
It moved closer.
And closer.
And… nuzzled him?
The massive snout pushed up underneath Zuko’s chin, fur pressing against his neck.
…What was it doing?
Was it trying to move him to some other location? Was Zuko just its food that it was playing with?
He was paralysed as the saber-tooth moose lion kept nudging him. Zuko kept his eyes focused on a fire lily in the distance. It was weird for one to be up so high. They were usually only found in meadows, he hadn’t seen one so-
“Agh!” he cried. His foot was newly alit with fresh pain pulsing upwards and everywhere. The saber-tooth moose lion moved it.
Agni, he seriously couldn’t handle a little touch?
The saber-tooth moose lion reared back at his scream.
Shit. It must have startled it. He should shut up. Whimpers and gasps kept falling out of his mouth unbidden. He wanted to shove them all back in his mouth. So far he had remained still and silent, and so far he was distinctly not dead.
Guess that was changing now.
The saber-tooth moose lion started making noise. It wasn’t a roar, and it wasn’t anything too loud. Zuko wasn’t sure what it was. To him, it was just noise and it was making his head pound.
Once it went quiet, it started creeping forwards again. Its steps were quieter this time. With each paw it put down, it looked like it was avoiding the sticks and leaves.
What did it think it was gaining by trying to sneak around? The only thing it was helping was his headache.
The saber-tooth moose lion was in front of him again.
Zuko focused on the fire lily.
It was bringing its snout in closer, just like before, except now it was going to lead to Zuko’s death.
And then Zuko’s face was slobbery.
The saber-tooth mountain lion’s tongue went back into its mouth as Zuko looked at it. It made a whining noise, nuzzling against his neck again.
For the first time, Zuko got a good look at the animal.
It had a rich brown coat that hid a strong body and long limbs. Its tail was slowly swishing behind it from side to side. As it brought its snout in, it seemed to be purposefully avoiding having its fangs hurt him.
Zuko looked at its eyes.
No, Zuko looked at her eyes.
Her eyes were honey brown and held a warmth he hadn’t seen in… years. It reminded him of his mother. She gazed at him with a concerned, protective light in her eyes.
He got the feeling that she was asking if he was okay.
A sob broke out at the absurdity of it.
She nuzzled herself against his jawline, a faint vibration coming from her. She was purring. Purring.
Cautiously, he brought his hands up to latch onto her neck. And immediately collapsed into her.
He hadn’t realised how exhausted he was. It was sort of silly, considering he’d been holding himself up for so long.
The pain continued to thrum, but it was less biting, less sharp.
“Why are you helping me?” he whispered into her fur.
She huffed back at him, licking the side of his face again.
Zuko opened his eyes, looking past her fur to the lone fire lily.
He looked back at her.
“Can I call you Lily?” Zuko asked as if it were a secret; vulnerable and under his breath.
She nuzzled in closer, pulling him in as she did so.
Right.
Tears gathered in his eyes anew.
Lily exhaled before slowly disentangling herself from him.
“Are you leaving?” he croaked into the empty space between them. He tried to drown the emotion out of his voice. He didn’t think it worked.
Lily paused. She looked back at him. Came in and gave him a small lick. Zuko let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding onto.
And froze up all over again once he saw what Lily was doing, or intending to do.
She had made her way over to the foot encased in metal, circling around it, moving back and forth as if she couldn’t quite figure out what to do. Zuko really hoped that she wouldn't do anything.
“Lily- wait-” he tried, beginning to move his hands to guide her away. Instead, she guided his hands away, gently moving her antlers to push them aside. There were a few moments of silence, where she looked at the animal trap. Zuko wondered what she was thinking. Whether she could have been the one stuck in this exact same trap.
It was a fast but careful movement.
One second she was looking down and the next she had her teeth clamped around the metal.
White-hot pain exploded.
The world kept fading and blurring away, completely lost on him. He felt his limbs flying, his mouth moving, but he didn’t know what he was doing or saying. The trap burned, as if it had bit its teeth down into his foot for the first time again.
There was fur wrapping around him. A heartbeat thrummed against him, beating a little too quickly.
He opened his eyes. Brown fur surrounded him as if it was trying to cover as much of him as possible. Lily was lying her head over him.
They stayed like that for a bit, breathing together as Zuko tried to get his back under control.
Breathing was important. Uncle Iroh would kill him if he stopped breathing now of all times. Or he would just throw tea, proverbs, and Pai Sho at him until the end of time.
Zuko didn’t have to look to know that the animal trap was still firmly in place.
He already knew.
Shouting voices broke out in the distance.
He sat up in alarm, immediately followed by losing his breath at the slight jostle of his foot. Lily was already up and standing over him by the time he opened his eyes again, still breathing harshly.
There was a sickening sense of deja vu as he was reminded of when he first knew Lily was there. Except this time he didn’t think the world would be so kind as to give him someone friendly.
But he had Lily with him this time.
This time, he wasn’t completely defenseless.
He wasn’t completely alone.
His breathing ramped up as the voices made their way through the trees.
“...just trust me!? I swear… over here,” a distinctly familiar voice spoke. But that wasn’t right. Why would Toph be all the way out here?
“Well, there’s been a distinct lack of him so far.” Sokka? “We’d be better off just- Tui and La, that’s a massive saber-tooth moose lion!”
Lily, bent low to the ground, let out a loud growl as the people entered the small clearing of the forest. He could hardly see who it was from his position on the ground to confirm his suspicions.
“Zuko!?” Toph (and that was definitely Toph) called with an underlying thrum of panic. Why was she here? Better yet, why was she panicking? Was there some danger in the woods? Was his sister here?
“I’m here!” His voice sounded scratched, raw, and slightly blocked from all of his crying, but it was the most he could do.
Although he couldn’t exactly make it out, Zuko could faintly hear them talking amongst each other from the other side of Lily.
“Hang on!” he heard Aang say. How come they were all here?
He didn’t have time to dwell on it much longer when a strong gust of air suddenly threw Lily to the ground.
“Stop!” Zuko screamed.
“What!?” Aang called back, readying to airbend another burst of wind.
Rock climbed out of the ground to encase Lily’s feet, which must have been Toph.
A horrified gasp came from behind him. “Zuko, what happened?” Katara said, a hand reaching up to cover her mouth at what was probably a grotesque sight. The blood that had pooled out around him, sticking to his clothes and skin had never felt more stark.
It was weird that she looked so worried; Katara usually only looked at him with hatred. It was probably just because she was a healer, so she could grasp the extent of the wound.
Before he could come up with a response, Lily was viciously ripping her paws from the rock encasing them and inserted herself in the small space between Zuko and Katara, pushing her back.
He moved a gentle hand to Lily’s fur. “It’s fine, they’re friends.” Zuko tried to inject as much warmth into his tone as he could, and it must have at least somewhat worked as Lily started to relax, losing her ever-present growl.
There were strangled noises from where he remembered the others standing.
“How the heck did you manage to-?” Sokka started before cutting off abruptly into silence.
Actually, now that he’s noticing, the whole clearing was silent.
Looking back, he tried to gauge what had happened.
Zuko followed where they were all collectively staring and-
Ah.
His leg flared up with pain at the reminder of its existence.
He couldn’t repress the flinch that followed.
“Katara,” Aang choked out.
“Yeah, I already know,” Katara said, strangled as she edged her way around Lily, who refused to take her eyes off of her.
And then Katara was leaning over him, not a single glare or glimmer of hatred in sight. She grabbed hold of her waterskin before stopping short.
“Toph, I need you over here!” she called back at the others, seeming to snap them out of their reverie.
Toph quickly joined their small huddle, masterfully ignoring Lily hovering over him protectively. Maybe it was from all of her experience with giant badgermoles.
It seemed to kickstart the others to come over as well, and Zuko found himself surrounded by people he never thought he would see again, no matter how random it was that they were all together when they found him.
“You need to bend the metal open, and you need to be extremely careful, okay?” Katara said.
Zuko was expecting some smart retort, but it never came. Toph gave a nod and then set to work.
He was in anguish.
The searing pain didn’t stop, even after the pressure on his leg went away. It didn’t stop when he felt a fuzzy snuffling on his back or hands moving him. There was a feeling of cold water on his leg, mixing with the blood and giving no relief to the torture he was experiencing.
His tears were coming fast and hot and he couldn’t focus on anything.
“-need you to breathe,” he thought he heard a voice say.
Breathe? He could breathe. He was really good at breathing. Uncle didn’t think so, but he thought that everyone should be meditating all the time anyway, so his opinion didn’t count.
Through the haze, he grasped onto his inner flame and started to breathe.
It wasn’t until later that his awareness returned to him.
Blinking at the night sky above him, he looked around at his surroundings. Zuko was in camp, close to a fire in the centre with the rest of the group scattered around it sleeping. Looking the other way, he realised Lily was lying down next to him, further away from the fire.
She opened her eyes, and upon realising he was awake, moved closer to huff happily at him.
“You’re awake!” Zuko glanced back at the fire and saw Sokka looking directly at him, relief coating his voice. At his shout, everyone started opening their eyes.
“When did we fall asleep?” Aang sleepily murmured before catching his eye. Immediately he sat straight up as if he wasn’t just fully unconscious. “Zuko!”
And then he had an armful of twelve year old airbender.
“We were so worried once we realised you were gone,” he mumbled into Zuko’s clean shirt. (When did they change his shirt?)
Another pair of arms wrapped around him. “I’m sorry it took so long to get them to believe me,” Toph said, followed by a sharp sniff afterwards.
“Are you alright?” Zuko asked, awkwardly patting her back.
“Am I alright!? You were the one stuck in a trap for hours!” Toph argued back without her usual volume to back it up. That was strange.
“It shouldn’t have taken so long for us to start searching for you,” Katara cut into the conversation, fiddling with her waterskin.
“You were… searching for me?” He blinked.
Blank stares.
“Uh, duh! What else would we have been doing?” Sokka said.
“I… don’t know?” Was this a test? He wasn’t sure what they were trying to say.
He met Katara’s eyes and saw the answer he was looking for reflected in there.
“I know I’ve been… harsh on you, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t look for you if something was wrong,” she said, a determined glint in her bright blue eyes.
Aang whipped his head up to Zuko. “You thought we weren’t looking for you?”
Yes, he thought but didn’t say. He had thought that that was what everyone was doing. Not looking for him. He had assumed it was just a happy coincidence for him.
Apparently, it wasn’t as coincidental as he initially thought.
“I still need you to piggy back me around, Sparky.” Toph punched his arm, and warmth was the only thing he felt after it. A smile grew on her face. “Once you’re healed up, we’ll be an unstoppable duo in no time.”
He looked down at his foot for the first time. It hadn’t been hurting as much, so he hadn’t really noticed it. His foot had obviously been healed by Katara, and though it still looked really worse for wear, it was no longer bleeding and unrecognisable. It still steadily throbbed with pain, but it was dulled down.
Katara healed him.
A small smile grew on his face.
“Yeah, you can’t leave us now that you’re our friend,” Sokka proclaimed.
Zuko’s stomach dropped.
“We’re friends?”
“Of course,” Aang grinned up at him.
He looked around, at Toph and Aang wrapped around him without a care in the world, Sokka lying contentedly just off to his side, and Katara’s calm eyes.
“Now can we finally go to sleep or what? I’m so done with today, and I already have a nice warm pillow,” Toph exclaimed, purposefully laying her head down on Zuko.
“We should rest up before tomorrow.” Katara smiled at him. It wasn’t quite as friendly as it was with the others yet, but it was progress.
He rested his head back on Lily, knowing that it was alright to be here with everyone else.
“Hold on, first I need to hear how Zuko tamed an enormous saber-tooth moose lion!” Sokka cried out dramatically.
“Her name’s Lily, and I didn’t ‘tame’ her. She’s her own animal,” Zuko frowned at him, Lily purring in response.
“You named your saber-tooth moose lion Lily?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Silence.
A long, drawn out sigh.
“We’re continuing this in the morning.”
Zuko smiled.