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Tough calls are part of the job. Buck is used to getting them. The kind that reminds you of all the bad shit you’ve been through. People who act like you once did or how you do. People you can’t save from injuries you yourself have received.
Tonight was one of those tough calls. A young man, only a couple years younger than Buck, was crushed by a truck. Bobby ordered Buck to stay back, let them handle it. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he knelt in an uncomfortable position for his leg, ignored his own pain and focused on the person in front of him. Buck held his hand the whole time, until his dying breath. It wasn’t until later that he learned the man's name, Evan Smith. It’s as though God was trying to mock him.
No one said much on the ride back to the station, all thinking the same thing. That could have been Buck, he could have died that night. Half way through the ride, Hen takes Buck’s hand, and squeezes it tightly in her own. He isn’t sure if it’s to comfort herself or him, but either way it makes him breathe easier.
By the time they’re back at the station, Buck’s leg aches so badly that he’s limping out of the truck. No one comments, knowing that anything they say could trigger Buck. The pain is due to a numerous amount of things. The position he was in, the reminder of his own trauma, having just worked a 24 hour shift, and the fact that he forgot to take his pain meds earlier when his leg had first started bothering him. Now, he’ll have to ride through this painful episode, and hope it passes quickly.
Running a hand through his hair, Buck decides right away he’ll wait to shower at home, as he’s not sure how much longer he can manage standing. It takes him a while to get changed, wincing as he shifts his weight to his bad leg in order to pull his pants on. Once he does, he practically collapses onto the bench behind him with a quiet yelp of pain.
“You okay, man?”
Buck looks up from where he started rubbing his knee, pursing his lips at Eddie who’s now in fresh clothes, hair dripping from the shower. Jeez, how long did it take Buck to get dressed?
“Yeah, fine,” Buck replies, letting out a breath. “Just, uh… my leg.”
Frowning, Eddie takes his bag out of his locker before shutting it. “You didn’t shower?”
“Can’t stand for very long when it gets like this,” Buck says.
Eddie places a hand on Buck’s shoulder, squeezing it and giving him a smile. “Why don’t you crash at my place tonight?” he suggests.
“I… I don’t want to put you out.” Buck shakes his head, pulling his own bag over his shoulder and starting to stand. He grimaces as pain shoots up his leg to his hip. Stumbling, Buck nearly falls into the lockers, but doesn’t when Eddie catches his arm to help him stand properly.
“Seriously, Buck, stay at mine. You shouldn’t drive like this.” When Buck still doesn’t look convinced, Eddie levels him with a look. “I’m sure Chris would love to spend the day with his Buck tomorrow.”
Giving Eddie a small smile, Buck rolls his eyes half heartedly. “Well, you got me there. I guess spending one night won’t hurt.” Deep down, Buck wishes he could stay much longer than only tonight, but he’ll take what he can get.
“Alright, I’ll drive you,” Eddie says, putting an arm around Buck’s back to help support his weight. “Should’ve known the only way to convince you to let other people take care of you is to bribe you with time with Chris.”
“I’d do anything for time with Chris,” Buck agrees, letting himself lean into Eddie’s side as they exit the locker room.
Bobby is standing by the truck, in different clothes now, wearing a slightly worried expression on his face. “Hey, Buck,” he says quietly, “you take care of yourself tonight, alright? And, let me know Monday if the pain isn’t better, you can always take the shift off.”
“Thanks, Cap, but I’m sure it’ll be better by then,” Buck says with a smile. “Besides, I got my Diaz boys taking care of me.”
Reaching up, Bobby gives Eddie a pat on the back. “Well, then you’re in good hands.” He lets his hand drop down. “Have a good night, boys.”
After saying their goodbyes, Eddie walks Buck out to his truck, helping him into the passenger side. Ever since the lawsuit, it’s felt a little strange being around Eddie and Chris. Logically, Buck knows that they wouldn’t be inviting him over if he wasn’t welcome, but it’s hard to get what Eddie said to him that day at the grocery store out of his mind. He doesn’t want to be exhausting, and would hate to be a burden, but thinking of Chris’ smiling face in the morning is worth it all.
When they get to Eddie’s house, Carla is still there, watching TV. She shuts it off when the boys walk through the door, and hugs them both before she heads home for the night. Eddie watches with a wince as Buck hobbles over to the couch, falling back into it with a groan.
“You want to shower?” Eddie asks, tossing his bag onto the kitchen counter. “I can get you some more comfortable clothes to wear. Pants might be a little small… but better than jeans.”
Shaking his head, Buck screws his eyes shut as his leg muscles tense, trying not to do something embarrassing like cry. “There’s no way I can stand that long.”
Eddie pauses for a moment, just watching Buck, then begins to nod, clapping his hands together. “Alright, I’m going to go run you a bath,” he says. “I’ll be right back, okay? Just yell if you need me.”
“Wait, Eddie, no,” Buck says, stopping his best friend in his tracks. There’s nothing Buck hates more than Eddie doing things for him. Especially now, after all he put him and the rest of the team through with the lawsuit. Buck hasn’t had anyone take care of him in a long time, hasn’t had anyone want to, and it hurts that Eddie is the one to do it after the mess they were just in. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know,” Eddie replies, giving Buck a look. “I don’t know who you think I am, exactly, Buck. But, I’m not about to let my best friend sit on my couch, sweaty from work and in tremendous pain when there’s something I can do to help. Warm water will help, yeah?”
Looking down at his lap, Buck shrugs, but admits, “Yeah.”
“Alright, just give me a couple minutes, I’ll be right back.”
With a guilt ridden sigh, Buck reaches into his backpack, and pulls out a bottle of Tylenol. He swallows three pills dry, in far too much pain to get up and get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. Glancing down the hall, Buck wishes he could check on Christopher. The kid always looks so peaceful in his sleep. Buck doesn’t think he was ever as loved as Chris is when he was a kid, and it brings him so much joy getting to help give the Diaz boy the childhood he never got.
He sits there for a while before Eddie comes back, sleeves rolled up with a reassuring smile on his face. Walking over to his friend, he holds out his hands. “Up and at ‘em,” he orders, “don’t want the water getting cold.” Without a word, Buck accepts the hands, letting Eddie pull him up from off of the couch. Buck puts his arm around Eddie’s shoulders as the brunet man’s own go around his waist.
In the bathroom, Buck finds that not only did Eddie run him a bath, but he ran Buck a bubble bath. Stifling a laugh, Buck only shakes his head when Eddie gives him a questioning look.
“What?” Eddie demands, helping Buck prop himself up against the counter.
“Nothing, you ran me a bubble bath,” Buck comments, “like I’m Christopher or something.”
Rolling his eyes, Eddie crosses his arms over his chest. “You got a problem with bubble baths, Buckley?”
Shaking his head with a smirk, Buck holds his hands up in surrender. “No, Diaz, no problem at all.” He presses his lips together, amusement fading a bit. “But, really, I appreciate it.”
Nodding, Eddie smiles, giving Buck a look that seems to say that helping him is the easiest thing in the world. “Well, there’s a towel and clothes for you,” he says, gesturing at the pile on the counter. “Anything else I can help you with?”
Buck hesitates, looking at the water. The pain in his leg is getting to the point where Buck’s not sure how he’s going to take his clothes off and climb into the bath. But, how on earth is he supposed to say that to Eddie? His best friend. His best friend that he may or may not have deeper feelings for.
“Buck, stop overthinking,” Eddie says, giving Buck a smile. “It’s me.”
“I think I…” Buck gnaws at the inside of his cheek. “I, uh, I think I might need some help. It just… this is why I thought maybe I should just wait… for the bath, that is… I can’t really… I need—”
“Evan,” Eddie cuts in, quickly putting a stop to Buck’s rambling. “Would you like some help getting into the bath?”
Hiding his face with his hands, Buck lets out a groan. “This is embarrassing.”
“I’ve seen you naked before, Buck,” Eddie says, tugging Buck’s arms down. “It’s not a big deal. I was the one to cut your pants off of you on the way to the hospital, not sure if you remember that ride.” Buck, in fact, did not remember that, but that knowledge is so horrifying that he sort of wishes he could disappear right then and there. “And, if you recall, the change room at work is also glass so…”
“Right, okay,” Buck says, “okay, yeah, um… that would be great.”
Eddie nods. “Alright, let's do this.”
Buck is able to pull his own shirt off, but has to lean against the counter as Eddie helps pull off his jeans. Honestly, he would be more horrified if it wasn’t so nice having someone take care of him. Tossing Buck’s pants to the side, Eddie gestures down at his underwear. “Well, I’m assuming you want those off too?” Buck hums in confirmation, glad that Eddie asks first. Eddie keeps it clinical, and honestly Buck’s grateful that he gets it done quickly, keeping his eyes on Buck’s, and giving him a reassuring smile the whole time.
“Alright, bud, let's get you in the bath,” Eddie says, placing his hands under Buck’s elbows. “You step in and brace yourself on my arms, okay?”
Nodding, Buck steps his good leg into the bath, and grimaces as he brings his other leg in. Slowly, he starts to slide down, keeping a firm grip on Eddie’s arms as he sinks into the water. The warmth makes Buck shiver, and honestly he’s glad for the bubbles now that they cover him up enough that he doesn’t have to feel too embarrassed anymore for being naked. Sighing, Buck leans onto the tile behind him, sinking further into the water. “Thank you,” he says quietly.
“Anytime, Buck,” Eddie replies, taking a seat next to the tub.
“You don’t have to…” Buck trails off, giving a small shrug. “You could leave, if you want. You don’t have to stay here.”
“I know I don’t.” Eddie nods, resting his hands on top of his knees. “I can leave if you want me to, though…”
Shaking his head minutely, Buck says, “No I… I want you to stay.”
“Then, I will.” Eddie looks at Buck in a way that confuses him, it’s this expression he gets on his face sometimes in quiet moments at work or when Chris has gone to bed. Buck has never asked what it means, not sure how one should approach phrasing such a question. When Buck shivers, however, Eddie’s lips turn into a frown. “Is it too cold?”
“No it… it’s nice,” Buck says, “just getting used to it. And, uh… just a little shaken up, I guess.” Looking around, Buck eyes the bottle of soaps, unsure of which one to use. “Uh, soap?”
Reaching over, Eddie grabs a bottle, then holds it out for Buck. “Here.”
“Thanks,” Buck replies through gritted teeth, willing the cold and nerves to leave his bones. The only problem is when she grabs it, his hands shake, and he drops the bottle into the soapy water. “Shit.”
Tilting his head, Eddie gives Buck a half smile. “Well, that’s not gonna work.” He nods at Buck. “Pass it to me.” Reaching into the water, Buck manages to pick up the bottle without dropping it again in time to hand it over to Eddie. He pauses, looking at Buck for a moment, as if considering his next words carefully. “I could… I could wash it for you, if you want.”
That takes Buck aback for a moment. He flushes immediately. Honestly, he would like nothing more than for Eddie to give him a hand, considering how shaky his hands are at the moment. But he can’t seem to get himself to admit that out loud to his best friend. Admitting weakness is not something Buck enjoys doing.
“Look, Eddie… you— you don’t have to,” Buck says, refusing to look away from the wall. “I’m good. I’ll just wait for my hands to stop shaking.”
“Evan.” Buck’s head snaps up to look at Eddie. That’s the second time he’s called him that tonight. It feels… weird. But, nice. Only Maddie calls him Evan. “Let me help you. Please?” Nodding, Buck gives Eddie a sheepish smile. “Thank you.”
Pouring some soap into his palm, Eddie adjusts his position so he’s closer to Buck’s head. Carefully, Eddie starts to lather Buck’s hair with soap. The feeling makes Buck shiver again, but if Eddie notices, he doesn’t comment. His fingers move through Buck’s curls, massaging into his head gently. It feels good. Buck even lets his eyes slip shut, enjoying the feeling. When he lets out a content sigh, Eddie’s hands pause. “You okay?”
“Yeah… just—” Buck keeps his eyes shut, muscles starting to relax in his leg. “Just feels good. Sorry.”
“Don’t be… that’s good,” Eddie says quietly, continuing to massage his fingers through Buck’s curls. “How’s the leg?”
Letting out a breath, Buck nods. “Getting better, thank you.”
The two of them sit in silence for a little while. Once Eddie is done washing Buck’s hair, he carefully pours water over his head after tipping it back. No one’s ever taken care of Buck like this and it could honestly bring tears to his eyes.
Reaching back, Eddie grabs a towel and places it on the edge of the tub. “Think you can get out by yourself?” he asks gently.
“Yeah, leg’s not so stiff now,” Buck confirms, smiling at Eddie gratefully. “Thank you.”
Smiling brightly, Eddie waves him off as he stands. “No need to thank me, it’s what best friends are for.” He gestures a thumb at the door. “I’ll be right outside, call me if you need me.”
Something about the word choice ‘best friends’ makes something churn uncomfortably in Buck's stomach, but he still manages a small smile before Eddie shuts the door. Sighing, Buck reaches for the plug to allow the water to drain before bracing himself on the edges of the tub. Pushing up, he shifts all his weight to one foot, grabbing the towel once he straightens.
It doesn’t take him much time to get dressed again and when he steps out of the bathroom and into Eddie’s connected room, he finds his partner sitting up in bed, scrolling on his phone. Hearing him exit the bathroom, Eddie quickly puts his phone away, and Buck doesn’t think he’s ever felt so attended to in his whole life. The attention is both overwhelming and wonderful.
“Hey,” Eddie says, getting up from his spot, “so I set up a spot on the couch for myself, you can sleep in here.”
Buck shakes his head. “Eddie, no, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Not with that leg you won’t,” Eddie replies, reaching up to squeeze Buck’s shoulder. “I don’t mind, Buck. I just want you to be comfortable.”
Swallowing thickly, Buck doesn’t know how to make Eddie understand that he’s doing way too much for him. He doesn’t deserve this level of care. “No, Eds, really. I’ll be okay on the couch.” He sees his friend about to interrupt him, so Buck starts to inch towards the door. “I’m not putting you out of your bed. Seriously, I’ll be okay.”
Eddie hesitates, tilting his head at Buck. “Are… are you sure, Buck?”
“Completely.” Buck forces himself to smile at Eddie. He refuses to be a burden. Not anymore.