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Peter Benton thought he had his med student figured out. A rich white boy who came from privilege and never heard the word, 'No.' The last part might have just been because the kid had the biggest doe eyes he'd ever seen. If he were a weaker man he too would find it hard to deny him.
John Carter followed him around like a lost puppy, so eager to please. Peter would be lying if he said he wasn't proud of his student's progress. He'd come a long way from the kid who'd never done an IV before. Carter still tended to have a queasy stomach from time to time but he kept coming back. Peter never said it but he respected that.
Carter had been helping Doug Ross with a case. The child had quickly turned green and expelled the contents of his stomach directly down the young man's shirt. Doug clapped him on the back and sent him to get cleaned up.
Dr Benton walks into the staff lounge just as Carter pulls a scrub top over his head. When he hears the door open Carter quickly pulls the top down his torso but he's not quick enough to hide the 4 inch scar that sits on the lower right side of his abdomen.
"Carter?" Benton starts.
"Sorry Dr Benton. I've got to get back." Peter watches the young man practically sprint out of the lounge. He doesn’t know what to think. Benton knows what surgical scars look like.
From how faded it the scar was it had to have been done during his childhood or adolescents. If he had to guess he'd say it was from some sort of kidney surgery. Peter didn’t get a long look at it do he couldn’t tell if it was from a renal transplant or a living donor nephrectomy.
Carter had been asked the question of why he wanted to become a doctor. Peter had asked him that very question several times. Not once has Carter's answer ever involved an illness or surgery he underwent as a child.
Benton tries to forget about it, it's none of his business. As the days pass he finds it harder and harder to ignore the niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right.
They have a patient two weeks later, Katie, a young girl in kidney failure from past leukaemia. She is admitted as a surgical patient. Benton is hoping to get in on her surgery. Carter seems far more interested in her brother, Tom.
Tom is also admitted for surgery, he's the one donating the kidney. Peter overhears Carter talking to him.
"So, your donating a kidney to your big sister?" He asks Tom tentatively.
"Yep." Tom replies happily.
"Do you, uh, know what the surgery means?" Carter sounds nervous.
"It means my sister can get better. She's been so sick. The cancer is gone but she's still sick."
"I mean, do you know what it means for you?"
"Oh, yeah." Tom says. "It was explained to me. The surgeons are going to put me to sleep and take out my kidney. My mom says that people have two, so I can be okay with only one. The doctor said that after I'm gonna be in pain. My dad wanted it all explained to me before I agreed." He rambles.
"That's good. That's real good, Tom."
"My mom and dad said it was alright if I said that I didn't want to give Katie my kidney. She's my big sister though." Tom shrugs, "If being in pain for a little while means that my sister is gonna live, it's worth it."
"Did they tell you that your sister’s body might reject the kidney or you might get sick down the line and need a transplant because you only have one kidney?" Carter stresses.
"Mhm, but if I don’t try we'll never know. I'd rather take that chance. Katie would do the same for me."
"You're a wise kid. Anyone ever tell you that?" Carter asks.
"All the time." Tom replies, making Carter laugh.
Peter walks away. Carter was asking those questions from personal experience. He'd never mentioned siblings, but it wasn't like he'd ever indulged Carter with exchanging personal stories. The closest they’d gotten to that was when Carter came over to his mother's house for Thanksgiving. Even then Carter didn't discuss any family.
"You're happy," Carter notes. "I'm guessing you got in on Katie's surgery."
"Nope, I got the both of us in on Tom's surgery, just to observe." Peter stirs his coffee, watching Carter out of the corner of his eye.
"Really?" Carter practically bounces on the balls of his feet.
"Yep, be ready by 2." Benton walks away smiling.
Carter talks to Tom all the way to the surgical suite. "Your student is a good kid." Tom's dad says to him.
"He is. He’s going to be an even better doctor." Peter nods.
Carter watches the surgery with rapt attention. He asks plenty of questions. More questions than Carter had ever let himself ask during a surgery before.
After everyone had scrubbed out and Benton took Carter to debrief, he finally had the chance to ask his student about what has been on his mind.
"Were you Tom?"
"Pardon?" Carter falters.
"Is that where the scar came from?" Peter gestures for Carter's abdomen. Carter stays silent. Benton waits for him to be ready to talk.
"My older brother, Bobby, had leukaemia. We were kids. He was in remission but he needed a kidney. I was the only match in the family."
"How old were you?" Benton asks.
"9 or maybe 10. They told me that he'd get better if I did it so of course I agreed." Carter chews on his lip nervously. "Bobby was 13 or 14."
"Did they explain the details of the operation with you?" Benton is afraid of the answer after eavesdropping on his conversation with Tom.
Carter shakes his head looking away. "All I knew was that Bobby would get better. I didn’t know it would hurt so much." His voice shakes. "Before the surgery I felt good about it. My parents hadn't paid that much attention to me since Bobby got sick. They made sure I was healthy and taken care of."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Carter." Benton's heart is breaking for the little boy that Carter had been.
"I didn't realise how much it still hurt. Seeing Tom and Katie just brought it all back up. They're parents did everything right. I talked to Tom this morning. They informed him of all the risks and the realities of the surgery. I woke up after the surgery alone. They were both with Bobby. They didn't even visit until the next day."
"Jesus, man. I didn't even know you had a brother."
"He died, less than a year later." Carter sniffles. "The cancer came back stronger. My parents took it hard, my mother especially. They lost a son." He shrugs.
"And you lost a brother." Benton snaps, angry on Carter's behalf.
"I was so alone." Carter sobs. "They told me that if I donated a kidney Bobby would live. I thought he was going to be okay."
Benton moves forward and wraps his arms around his student. Carter fights back for a moment, pushing Benton away. It doesn't take long before Carter crumples and cries openly into Peter's scrubs.
As he holds the boy with the big brown eyes and whispers soothingly in his ear, he makes a promise to himself.
If he ever comes into contact with the Carter's he's not holding back.