Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

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Knock knock. 
 
“It’s gangle!!! Are you awake?”
 
Jax opens her eyes. She is awake, and has been for a while. But she hasn’t gotten out of bed yet. 
 
“YEAH!” She yells back.
 
“Okay good! The others just left… I’m going to get ready in my room, it shouldn’t take too long, get me when you’re ready!” 
 
“OKAY!” 
 
With that gangle walks away (or at least Jax assumes she does.)
 
She gets up, looking at the clock first. It says it’s 8am. She can’t help but wonder how accurate it is. No one else seems to talk about the time, or days it is. She guesses it would get hard to keep track of after a while. She gives one last look to her calendar. Her birthday.
 
Okay… she can do this.
 
She breathes in and out, turning on the light and going up to the mirror. She’s going to dress up! Just like she wanted. 
 
A black shirt. Maybe long sleeves… she noticed the temperature doesn’t change, even covering up her arms she doesn’t feel any warmer. Maybe short sleeves with a shirt under it, that looks cool right? A rainbow skirt? Or a yellow one? She watched as everything she imagines pops up, and changes when she wills it too.
 
It’s cute. A bit… but it still doesn’t feel right. She still misses her hair…
 
She closes her eyes, and images it.
 
When she opens…. Oh. Gross, it’s definitely her hair but it’s FAR too realistic, not at all fitting with her avatar. So she closes her eyes again.
 
Yeah. That’s better. It’s long curly black hair, but in cartoonish clumps instead of individual strains. It fits the style a lot better than the other one. She takes a hand and touches it, it’s soft, very soft. Is it good…? 
 
She gives herself one last glance in the mirror. There’s nothing else she really wants to change. So this is it then.
 
She opens her door and gives a glance out to the hallways. It’s quiet. Like gangle said the others are gone, so it’s not like she’ll get caught.
 
She just walks down the hallway (it’s her birthday. She deserves to dress up a bit. It doesn’t matter what gangle says about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s dumb. It’s her birthday.)
 
She hesitates at gangles door. 
 
It’s fine.
 
She knocks. 
 
“JUST A SEC” gangle calls from behind rhe door.
 
She taps her foot nervously (she could change, she could just imagine herself in different clothes, or even back to normal. But she doesn’t have a mirror to check… no it’s her birthday. She can do whatever she wants.) 
 
The door swings open. 
 
“Oh.” Gangle says (her outfit is pretty. An oversized brown cardigan, over a frilly button up, tucked into a pleated blue skirt, on the shorter side.) 
 
Gangle looks really cute… shit “I look dumb, the hairs a bit ridiculous right?” Her hands self consciously raise to her hair, holding a chunk of it in them, she’s missed being about to do that though. 
 
“WAIT-!” Gangle says quickly and suddenly, dashing back into her room.
 
(Is something wrong? She looks side to side. Prying that gangle was right and everyone really is truely gone. She taps her foot…)
 
Gangle rushes back out with a red ribbon in her hand, looking not too different from the ones she’s made out of “I could tie your hair back for the rides, if you uh want” she smiles.
 
Oh. Jax can’t help but smile “alright!” She leans forward ever so slightly and gangle immediately pulls her hair back into a pony tail, tying the ribbon in.
 
“Is that good” gangle summons a hand held mirror, showing her reflection. She had tied the ribbon into a bow, poking out near her ear. 
 
“Yeah” her smile only grew, it was so pretty “thanks” 
 
Gangle giggles “of course, you look so good by the way! I never really thought of editing my avatar, no one really has, it’s pretty smart!” (Jax couldn’t help but wonder why?… that’s another point for cult in her eyes.) “I like all the colors you picked out too, it’s really cool looking!”
 
“I was trying to go for pastel goth… though I don’t think I did too well” Jax shrugs. 

 
Gangles just looking at her smiling. There’s a pause “sorry-!! You look great- I’m so sorry. I’m not used to this” she chuckles nervously “you look lovely!… if you’re okay with me saying that?” 
 
Why… wouldn’t she be? She nods “thanks” (gangle is still looking at her. Blushing lightly. This is a good reaction right? Definitely better then… should she just tell her? It’s not like anyone is around… but if it goes bad then what does she even do?! She’ll have to live with gangle forever, there’s no running away here. Maybe she could hide out in one of the portals but who knows? It’s not like Riley would save her here.) “I’m-“ just say it- “I’m a girl” 
 
“Oh!” Gangle looks surprised for a moment, before looking her over. Expression unreadable. After a moment she smiles “alright.” Okay… so that’s it then? “Is there anything else I should know about that?… like name wise or?” (FUCKING FINALLY SOMEONE ASKED!)
 
“Nah, just call me she” she never said she WOULD change the name Jax, she just wanted the choice at least. 
 
Maybe she will eventually. But it’s cool name, she guesses. She kinda liked Leeroy too. But even then she thought of changing that. She’s always felt too embarrassed to bring it up? What name would she even pick? Luna was on the board for a while, but she had decided against it. Jax is good for now. Maybe she’ll change it later.
 
Suddenly too aware of gangles stare at her she changes the subject “when should we get back? Should we try to leave before the others do?” 
She definitely still wants to avoid them. 
 
“At night” gangle then says “right when everyone’s going to sleep, I don’t know how long they’ll take so I think we’d have a better chance at not running into them that way.” 
 
Jax nodded (she never saw people out at night. Was that breaking a rule, or was it just that no one cared to be out.)
 
“Ready to go?” She holds out a ribbon, and Jax takes it. 
 
“Yeah” 
 
They walk to where the couches are, and a portal in the corner. It’s blue and slightly glowing, gangle walks into it and Jax follows slightly behind.
 
When she goes through she sees it. A theme park. 
 
It’s all outside, but the sun isn’t unbearably hot, though she can’t lie it is pleasantly warm, which shocks her a bit because of the static temperature of the circus. It doesn’t bother her though. The sky is sunny, and blue, littered with clouds. Behind her is a gate, as if they just entered the park, and in front of her is beautiful looking greenery, as well as a lot of buildings, shops most likely.
 
“Let’s get a map!!” Gangle then says.
 
“Have you been here before.”
 
Gangle thinks “once, but we only spent like an hour here. We were just trying to see what adventures Caine put out for us. So we didn’t do much.” She says. 
 
She nods. Guess they’re both going in pretty blind.
 
Gangle grabs a map. “Where should we go first?”
 

 
The closest thing is the shop, so they went there first!
 
There was a few cute mascot characters, mostly animals it seemed, though looking closely she wasn’t sure what animal it was supposed to be.
 
“I think it’s a Lama… or a horse” gangle seems to be looking at the same shirt as her. “Anything catch your eye?” She then asks.
 
“Not really” it was mostly the strange creatures, who she has no emotional attachment too. There was plushies and figures of them too… maybe she could put one in her room, to remind her of today… though she wasn’t sure.
 
“If you want we can always come back at the end of the day, so we don’t have to carry everything” 
 
That makes sense, it’s not like they have to worry about things selling out.
 
There is some npcs here, just plain looking mannequin. It wasn’t as crowded as she assumes a real theme park would be, there’s only maybe 5 npcs in this shop (not counting the two at the register.) and it’s not like the shop was very small. 
 
One shirt did catch her eye. From a design standpoint it looked awful, bright red with blue text, and yellow almost clipart of a skull, word font straight from the 2000s. As well as flames with a realistic photo of a roller coaster. ‘I SURVIVED THE GHOST TOUR-MENT’ combining the words tour with torment. The roller coaster looked pretty extreme, almost going straight up. 
 
She felt her heart drop, both in fear and excitement. She would rather die than start out with that ride… but she HAD to go on it. She glances over at gangle. As long as gangle wants too of course. 
 
She bites her tongue for now (figuratively. She can’t even open her mouth… can she???). She’s ready to go with the flow. She’s not sure how these places work either, she trusts Disney (safety wise… not like as a company.), she’s sure she wouldn’t die on the Matterhorn or something like this, but the ghost tour-ment? She couldn’t be so sure how well that ride holds up (though they can’t die here, it can definitely hurt. She doesn’t want to go through that again.)
 
There’s another shirt that answers the question about the main mascot. It’s definitely a horse. The shirts is of a photo realistic horse, with a tomato as its body. It’s definitely the mascot. (Its name is tomato horse.) 
 
“Oh! I think they have a carousel” gangle looks at a shirt for it. 
 
The shirts actually pretty cute, its graphic design still leaves a bit to be desired, but it’s tie-dye, with a simple looking Merry go round (though it doesn’t have a roof?). Tomato horse is the seats. 
 
“You think we should try that first?” She then asks. “The map says it’s nearby” it looks as if the carousel is right at the front of the park, the first ride you’d see coming in.
 
“We might as well!” Gangle says “as long as you want too. The lines shouldn’t be very long, so we could probably do every ride… or most of them at least.” She points out (Jax honestly hasn’t even thought about the lines. She can’t help but wonder how that will work.)
 
They leave through a different door from where they came, one near the back of the store, closer to the ride. They only have to walk a few feet before they reach it.
 
“Woah”
 
It’s pretty big, two stories, like you put two carousels on top of each other. They spin in different directions, almost making her dizzy just looking at it. It looks a lot cooler than the shirt made it look. 
 
Gangle grabs her hand and they go through the gate. The line itself is long, but empty. Letting them go under most of the ropes and run to reach the end of the line. There is npcs there, quite a bit of them too. And then they wait.
 
She goes to open her mouth, but before she can the lines already moving. Letting in all the npcs, as well as them. (It makes sense, a two tier carousel could hold a lot of people)
 
“We’re going upstairs right?” She looks back at gangle, and gangles quick to nod, she rushes up the steps on the side of the carousel, going to the second story one. It’s very high up, and there ARE guard rails, just very small ones. 
 
There’s plastic horses, meant to look like tomato horse (they have human looking legs, as well as red shoes.) and seats that look like bowls. She picks out a horse, closer to the edge. And gangles picks the horse next to her, in the middle, and lower to the ground. 
 
“We’re so high up.” She can’t help but look down. She doesn’t feel secure at all, with a simple belt buckle, but that’s par for the course for a merry go round. And even if she did fall she’d have a much more likely chance of falling on the floor instead of off the side. 
 
“REMEMBER TO STAY SEATED AT ALL TIMES” an npc speaks over the speaker “ENJOY THE RIDE.” 
 
Silly music starts to play as the ride jumps into motion. At first it spins slowly, then brings her down, then up, then back down. 
 
It’s so high up, she can’t help but look at the rest of the park. There’s so many colorful lights, it’ll probably look very pretty at night. She sees a few more building, as well as a few roller coasters and rides in the distance. Her head turns to look back at gangle, holding the pole for dear life, her ribbons seem to be flowing in the wind. 
 
“You’re not going to fall out are you?” She feels a bit ridiculous asking that, but seeing her legs flow like actual ribbons, she can’t help but feel a bit of concern.
 
“No!!” Gangle says quickly, maybe a bit too defensively too, before her gaze softens “I won’t, I’m actually a lot heavy to pick up then you’d think… most of the time. Sometimes it can change because of like… cartoon logic. But I can control it for the most part!” Huh. Gangle really wasn’t lying before when she said they could change anything about the world. Except for escape of course. But she hasn’t even considered changing their own weight or gravity. That’s interesting, something she’d have to test out another day maybe.
 
“That’s cool” she says. And gangle smiles at her.
 
“It’s really not, it’s just convenient I guess.” 
 
Eventually the ride slows to a stop, she ends up really low to the ground, being able to easily step off the horse and get down, though gangles horse has stopped at the highest point of the ride, and she seems to be shaking trying to get off the step and onto the floor.
 
“Do you need help?” 
 
“I-I got this-“ she smiles nervously, fumbling with her feet on the step.
 
Jax waits next to her, watching every npc around them get off without an issue. Gangle tries to take a step down, looking as if she’s going to fall, so Jax stays close behind.
 
And luckily for gangle that she did, because gangle tries to reach the ground and fails, stumbling off the horse and Jax is able to catch and stabilize her pretty quickly. 
 
“Thanks” gangle says, she wasn’t lying about being heavier then she looks too.
 
“Woah you are heavy.” not like a normal human, but almost close in weight, a lot more sturdy then she’d expect from a pile of ribbons. 
 
Gangles face falls “okay.” She sounds annoyed.
 
“No- not in a bad way- it’s just- like when you pick up an empty water bottle with too much force because you think it’s full. But the opposite?” 
 
Luckily a smile returns to gangles face “I think I understand” 
 
They step off the merry go round, and down the stairs. Onto the next thing! 
 
 

 
 
The next thing they do is an inside ride. They wait in the line for it, it’s long but is consistent moving.
 
“Do you think it’s a roller coaster?” She asks. She couldn’t tell from the sign… or the ride.
 
Gangle looks at one of the warning signs, though it seems mostly nonsense. “I can’t tell either. It says it goes fast, but it doesn’t look like there’s anything more then normal seatbelts… and the color is yellow on the map?” 
 
The map has different colors for every ride, it’s called the color intensity scale, though there’s no explanation for it anywhere. red, yellow, blue, purple, and green. She assumes red is most intense and green is least (the merry go round is green, and the ghost tour-ment is red. Plus those colors make sense.) the rest seem to be the other colors, but she has no clue what they mean. 
 
At least she knows this one’s not the most intense, so that’s probably good. 
 
The building they’re in is pretty dark, and blue. They follow the people in front of them onto a moving walkway, and quickly get into their seats, it keeps moving and she takes the seat belt on her side and connects it over to the other side next to gangle, buckling them both in. Then a npc pushes a lap bar onto them. 
 
She sees gangles hand wrap around it, extra tight, probably to make up for the lack of fingers, she holds her hands around the bar too. 
 
“Hopefully it’s not too intense” she’s nervous, she could see all of the carousel, but to her right now it looks like they’re just going into darkness. This is her first real, proper, ride. (Merry go rounds don’t count not really.) 
 
She can’t help but tap her foot on the ground.
 
“Do you not like intense rides?”
 
“Nah” she says “I’m sure I do, and I want to, I just never have ridden one before.” Her foot taps a little quicker. She’s chill though, she’s super chill. 
 
Gangle removes one of her hands from the bar and wraps it around Jax’s wrist instead. 
 
…
 
They both don’t say anything. 
 
In front of them is a beach (a fake beach) it’s a dark ride, meant to look like the shore, it shows off animatronics of birds, and honestly doesn’t look too bad. Then it starts to speed up, just a little bit.
 
It goes closer to the ocean (painted on the floor) before a drop happens. 
 
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“Did you like it?!!” Gangles smiling a lot, it seemed she really liked it.
 
Jax did too, nodding her head “I did!!!” She can’t help but laugh “the ending was pretty cool!!” 
 
The ride overall wasn’t very intense, having two small drops, and a few fast parts. But the ending where they turned the cart backwards and dropped them was a lot of fun!! 
 
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“We should probably eat some lunch soon” 
 
…eat? Lunch?? 
 
Shit. She hasn’t eaten since she’s gotten here? How many days is that? She sallows nervously, was she hungry… she can’t tell, now it does, kinda, but maybe it’s just because she’s noticed it.
 
She bites down the feeling and tries to keep voice steady. “Oh- is that a thing we can do here” 
 
Gangle nods and the dread in her chest is suffocating- she needs to eat- (shit. Shit. She had been doing so well in the real world too! Actually remembering to eat, and not panicking about it.) “is there anywhere you saw?” She tries to sound normal. Just sound normal. 
 
“There’s a few” gangle looks on the map “there’s two close by, one’s a burger place and the other does pasta?” 
 
“Pasta.” She says immediately. And gangle nods, leading the way. 
 
Just order one thing. Just one…. Maybe she should tell gangle “I’m just getting one thing”
 
“…okay??” Of course gangle sounds confused, and she doesn’t really want to explain it. It’s a whole thing. 
 
It’s not long until they make it to the restaurant, and are seated.
 
“Are you okay?” Gangles asks… ughh okay maybe she should explain. 
 
“Yeah I’m fine” she says “I just always over order at places, and then get sick” (and vomit- a lot-)
 
“Ohhh” gangle nods. “That makes sense” 
 
The waiter comes by, and gets their drinks. A soda and juice. Then order their food as well (gangle said no to appetizers. Which is probably good for her.)
 
“So…” gangle starts now holding her cup, tapping on it “how does that uh… why’s that you think?” She takes the cup up to her mouth quickly, as if that will make the question any less awkward. 
 
“Well I’d forget to eat a lot” she then says “then I’d remember and then eat too much, and I like- Kirby style shovel it down. And then you know” she’s had a pretty small appetite when she first getting settled into her new house, not used to having so much food whenever she pleased. She’d go half a day without eating, and stress out about it once she realized. “Sally wouldn’t let me plate my own food it was bad, and also bullshit because I was the only one who cooks!” 
 
Gangle nods, confused.
 
“That’s uh, my roommate, yeah.” She says, before laughing “eh it’s whatever, probably for the best, I’ve gotten better about it too. It used to be a bigger problem but it doesn’t really happen anymore.” It didn’t. Not for a long while (it helped that she made most of the food, so Sally wouldn’t remind her to eat by always asking ‘what’s for lunch?’ And ‘What’s for dinner?’… she had been getting better.
 
“Damn.” Gangle says “yeah eatings weird here…” she then says “we can’t really feel hungry or starve or anything… sometimes Caine used to give us hungry meters for adventures but…” (Jax still doesn’t know who Caine is??? She knows the jester and rag doll definitely aren’t Caine, and she has Zooble down. And now gangle. So who is Caine???) 
 
“That sounds horrible.” She’d stress out so much about that.
 
“Yeah, most of his adventures were back then.” 
 
The waiter comes by, placing the plates down in front of them.
 
Jax quickly takes her fork and immediately gets some pasta on it… “wait… how do we eat here?” 
 
“O-oh! Uhm well it’s just” gangle takes some food, brings it up to her mouth, and it… vanishes? “Just kinda, bring it near?” She then says.
 
So Jax tries it.
 
She brings it up, thinks about eating it, and suddenly it’s no longer on her fork, but getting chewed up in her mouth by… her??? But how is she doing that when she can’t open her teeth? It feels almost like normal eating it just doesn’t make logical sense.
 
“My face is a flat plain. And ragathas mouth is 2D. Kinger and Zooble don’t have a mouth so we all pretty much eat like this, except for pomni… and Caine… kinda?” 
 
She nods. Okay seriously is she missing something???
 
“So… whose Caine?”
 
Gangle looks at her like she just asked the stupidest question of all time.
 
“O-oh- I mean, you’ve seen him?!” She then says “kinda- he was there when you first arrived! He said he would be making you a party?… he has teeth for a mouth.”
 
“OH!” She forgot. She hadn’t seen him since, and he doesn’t have a room in the hall “huh. I forgot about him.”
 
“He’s still planning the party so he’s pretty busy”
 
“Why doesn’t he have a room?”
 
Gangle blinks “oh. He’s an ai… I guess we haven’t told you any of that. He uh… made this place.”
 
That makes far more sense, she nods… but… “isn’t there supposed to be two?” 
 
Gangle blinks “two what?”
 
“Ai’s?”
 
“Uhm.” She looks side to side “I don’t know” she says “I’m not really- I don’t know. Why do you think that?” 
 
“Me and Riley were trying to research this place” they didn’t go too in depth “we talked to some guy who used to work here, I thought he said something about there being two ais… but he didn’t say anything about” she gestures around her “this… so who knows” who knows if he even did work here anyways. He was just a stranger on a bus. He said he could fix up the vr headset, but what if he was lying.
 
Gangle shrugs. 
 
“So what do you do?” She then asks, though they don’t really work here, or at least it doesn’t seem like they do “for fun?”
 
“Oh! Well I draw” she then says. “Apparently in real life I made a webcomic… I don’t really know though, I worked fast food before I ended up here.” 
 
She had mentioned that before hadn’t she? “What do you draw here?” 
 
“I used to draw my favorite characters a lot” she then said “I wanted to remember what they looked like… but I’ve been mostly drawing ocs as of lately. Nothing big” it did kinda answer the question, she draws characters. But it still pretty vague.
 
“Alright” she then said, trying to think of a good question to ask “what types of characters do you make?” 
 
“Uhh humans-?” She smiles “sometimes I’ll do some supernatural creatures but they’re all pretty uh…  anime inspired” she looks at her with wide nervous eyes.
 
Jax nods “thats cool.” 
 
Gangle pauses, as if waiting for something. Though Jax isn’t sure what.
 
Is she really the only one progressing this conversation “what anime’s do you like?”
 
“Uhhh… slice of life’s?”
 
Jax nods. “I prefer a bit more bite, but if the character are good enough I don’t mind focusing on them a bit more.” She says.
 
“O-oh… you uh? Watch anime”
 
Jax shrugs “yeah sometimes” 
 
Gangle smiles seeming more interested now “which ones do you watch?!” 
 
“Well I watched summer hikru died recently, thought it was pretty good”
 
Gangle hums “I’ve never heard of it.” Which makes sense… gangles been here, in the circus. And Jax doubts they have tv.
 
“The anime came out pretty recently so I guess you probably… yeah” 
 
“What’s it about?”
 
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“You’re so different” gangle then said. “To how Jax was…” she was smiling, she had relaxed greatly. Listening to Jax explain the plot of the show, she had even started to explain most of my hero academia (a show Jax never really got into.) 
 
She had kinda assumed that. “I put on that headset years ago, I was like… 18 I think” she barely remembers that time in her life (some she remembers vividly, but most of it has been lost in her memory.) “so I guess that makes sense.”
 
“Oh.” Gangle frowns “I never knew that.” She sighs looking off to the side “he was very different” 
 
Oh that’s… her. A wave of annoyance can’t help but rush over her “she?” 
 
Gangle squeaks. “Hm?”
 
“I mean I’m still Jax-“ she points at herself “even if I don’t have any memory of it. If she didn’t put on the headset she’d just be me?” 
 
“O-oh… well I guess that’s true. Sorry.” 
 
“It’s fine. I know it’s weird”
 
“It’s not weird!” She says quickly “I’m just… you feel like another person. That part is strange. But not bad!!” She says quickly “I think it’s nice… to have you back.”
 
She can’t help a small chuckle from escaping her, more nervous then anything, more aware then ever of gangle looking at her “yeah- strange is right.” It’s weird. Being missed as someone she felt so disconnected too. She IS Jax, they’re the same person, or at least based off the same person? But she’s also not. She doesn’t know what past Jax did to gangle, or anyone else. She can’t help but be reminded of her mom (‘I want my son back.’) but she was. She was the same person, she still is. She just changed. It’s even weirder now, having memories missing (though honestly that’s not too different either.)
 
Gangles hand goes on the table, then reaches over to her own. “I really mean it too.” She says a bit more serious “I don’t want to sound selfish or… I know being here sucks. I hate being here too.” She knows that. “But there’s a chance you could’ve just died and…” gangle takes a deep breath in and out “I would’ve never seen you like this.” She then says. 
 
She nods. This whole thing feels strange. She could’ve just died. Past Jax had left without anyone truly knowing the real her, she remembers years ago. In the real world when she had decided it wasn’t worth it, then she had met Sally, but if she had… no one would’ve known except for mom, who wouldn’t have said a word. (was she really so different now. If this morning she had tried the same thing.)
 
“I really like how you are now” gangle smiles shyly, closing her eyes “you’re beautiful.” 
 
Her vision immediately blurs, as Jax tries to put of a smile. “O-oh-“ her throat squeezed, not allowing the ‘thanks’ to escape. Her eyes felt watery, and she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh “christ” she almost hissed, laughing again, as a tear escaped “thanks- uh-“ she breathed in harshly, was she even still laughing “sorry- fuck- that got me” she can’t help but laugh again. “Fuck-“ she repeated, trying to wipe her eyes. This is so embarrassing, she’s crying again. 
 
And before she knows it gangle is out of her chair. Hugging her.
 
“Thanks.” She finally says. 
 

 
Gangle can’t lie. This whole situation is extremely strange. But honestly she really has been having fun today. They stand in line now, for the most intense ride of the park. 
 
She’s nervous, but it seems like Jax is too. And she can’t help but smile. 
 
Jax is nice. A phrase she’d never once thought she’d think, but it still rings true. She listened to her poorly describe her favorite anime, she talks to her like a normal person, she doesn’t seem to care if gangle is nervous, or sad. 
 
They’re holding hands right now. Jax was dragging her to the roller coaster and she hasn’t let go yet. It’s sweet. She can feel Jax rock back and forth on her heels, and see her tap her foot. She can’t help but squeeze her hand a little more. 
 
Gangle knows they’ll be okay. It’s not like they can die. Though she still feels anxious, it’s nice to be with someone else feeling similar. 
 
They get on the ride, and through the lap bars they still hold hands, with Jax smiling, still tapping her foot. 
 
With that the ride takes off.
 
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Jax is vomiting in a trash can. And has been for a few minutes. 
 
“That was a lot of fun” she says “but never again-“ 
 
Gangle couldn’t help but agree. Luckily her body seemed to not be against her like Jax’s was. But she still definitely felt off. 
 
Then Jax moves back “okay I’m good now” she says. “That was intense-“ 
 
“Yeah Caine does that-“ she says. 
 
“Let’s go on something a bit more-… yeah” 
 
They look around. Teacups… definitely a no go, one ride that was one big loop, also off the table. The tunnel of love…. “How about that one?” 
 
“Alright” Jax doesn’t even tease her. “I’d say take me to dinner first, but you already have” never mind. She did tease her.
 
They go in the line, much like the others it’s long, but moves fast. They don’t stop the pace of walking until it’s their turn to get on the boat.
 
They sit down, it’s a two seater, fitting them both perfectly, and the boat floats slowly into the tunnel.
 
It’s dark… for… a long time.
 
“Is something supposed to happen?” Jax then asks,
 
“I think so?” Gangle hasn’t been on this ride. But it’s the tunnel love? Isn’t there supposed to be hearts or something. 
 
The boats definitely moving. But still everything around them is just dark.
 
“Maybe Caine just doesn’t understand what the tunnel of love is?” Well- to be fair most tunnel of loves are just used for teens to make out in- oh “I think Caine just made this so we could make out.” That’s definitely it. He saw how people used it and thought that it was just a boat ride where people kissed. That checks out with his logic.
 
Jax laughs “huh?”
 
“Caine doesn’t really-?” She tries to explain “he has a limited data set. That’s what kinger says anyways. So he doesn’t know a lot of things. He probably just saw the definition of tunnel people make out in and went with this” 
 
“Oh” Jax says “strange.”
 
“Yeah. You get more used to it over time.” It gets easier to right off the strange, and see his logic in things. 
 
Jax hums. 
 
“Zooble would’ve liked this” correction, they would’ve thought it was funny, and used it. 
 
“Oh… do you and them uh… you know” Jax asks.
 
She feels a blush go up to her face “yeah-“ she laughs nervously. Ready for Jax to say… whatever about it.
 
“Yeah that makes sense.” Yeah… “they’re pretty good in bed.” …yeah?!!
 
“Oh-?? Do you- uh-…. Like…” her words fail her.
 
“Well- if they’re like Riley then they are!” 
 
Quiet.
 
She laughs, that’s- she can’t help but laugh again “yeah they are good.” She then says “were you dating Riley?” 
 
“Meh” Jax says “we were three seasons deep in a will they won’t they” she smiles. “In all seriousness it was a bit more like an open relationship I guess, we didn’t really have a label.” 
 
“I understand, me and Zooble have something similar” not a stereotypical two person romantic relationship, but definitely not platonic. She had never really felt the need to clarify things with Zooble either. It just kinda… worked. They always had a way to make her feel like she belonged. Like they were already perfect.
 
“Yeah” Jax sighs “Rileys the best.” 
 
Riley. Not Zooble. Maybe it’s looking too deep into it… but Jax doesn’t seem to talk to Zooble much (how would she blame her either? After what happened this morning… she still doesn’t know what happened but… gangle doesn’t know what she’d do without Zooble. If she was suddenly sent to a world without them… or worse one where they hated her. God that must suck.)
 
Jax must’ve realized. She changed the topic “this ride is going to be super boring huh” 
 
That seems right. It’s just darkness. Slowly moving through water in the dark “unless you wanna make out…” she lets out a small laugh. They uh-… they could. But she’s not going to push her luck with that one.
 
Jax hums… yeah gangle shouldn’t have said that, why did she say that.
 
“Alright, but I did throw up like 2 minutes ago.”
 
Oh-
 

 
Zoobles worried for gangle. They know everyone can tell too. 
 
The swimming adventure is… fine. It’s fun even. The more low stakes adventures are chill. But they can’t help but want gangle there with them. 
 
“Wonder what’s taking Caine so long” ragatha says aloud. Which seems like the wrong person to worry about “he’s been really planning this welcome party”
 
“He’s just excited” kinger says “he’ll show us it when he’s ready. It’s probably good to give Jax time as well.” 
 
Ragatha nods.
 
How are they all so unbothered. No one had brought up gangle at all. 
 
“He probably needs some alone time” ragatha then said, which doesn’t help at all.
 
“Gangles with him” they say. “You think they’re doing okay?”
 
“O-oh! Right, yeah I forgot about that!” Ragatha says “uhm… well I hope she’s alright. She’s uh… strong?” 
 
Zooble appreciate the sentiment, but it’s not about being ‘strong’. Jax is an asshole. Was one, and seems to have changed none, gangle doesn’t need to be ‘strong’, she needs to not be with someone who’s not going to torment her. 
 
“I’m sure gangle wouldn’t have hung out with Jax if she didn’t know what she was doing.” Kinger say… which is maybe true. They don’t know.
 
“The uh… abstractions still here too.” Pomni then says, using a towel to dry off “Jax… or past Jax? I don’t know. He’s still in the pillow fort.” 
 
[$%!#]. They heard about that, but they assumed he’d be gone by now? (Caine mentioned something about him disappearing) Whatever. This is all weird anyways. 
 
“This has never happened before” kinger said “I don’t think it will affect the new Jax.” 
 
Zooble really doesn’t care.
 
Their mind still jumping to the horrible ways in which Jax could be tormenting gangle.
 
They had been kinda rude to him, not uncalled for, but still. They just don’t want him to take it out on gangle “I’m going to go to the circus early” they then decide. The others seem content to talk about Caine, and the Jax abstraction. And Zooble really couldn’t give less of a [$%!#] about that. 
 
They dry off quickly, and find the portal. Going through it.
 
The first place they check is gangles room. So of course they walk over, and give it a knock. No answer. And they’re not going to barge in. 
 
Jax’s door is next. But of course they wouldn’t [$%!#]ing be in there.
 
They’re probably in the break room. Or the grounds. Best to start in the circus first.
 
They exit the hallway, and make their way through the tent.
 
(They pass by the pillow fort they made for Jax, the abstracted one. They still hear him.) 
 
Not in the break room. Or the art room. Definitely not in the main hall. And not in any other room they keep opening. They can’t even find any trace of them, or hear them. (Their worry can’t help but grow. Where the hell did they go??)
 
So they must be on the grounds. Because that’s the only place that makes sense (they hesitate for a moment before leaving the tent. Because if they’re not there where else would they be.)
 
They go outside.
 
The carnival… empty… the beach… also empty… as well as the area surrounding it. It’s all empty.
 
“GANGLE?!” They yell. And no one responds. 
 
They aren’t here. Maybe they went through a portal. There’s so many. They’d never find them.
 
The pillow fort is still up. Jax is in there. The abstraction. And sighing, feeling a bit dumb, they move the blanket out of the way, and walk inside.
 
Nothing has changed. Jax sleeps in the corner of the room. He always either sleeps or paces. 
 
“Hey” 
 
The eyes open, glowing and lighting up the area around them. They make sure the blanket door is shut, so he won’t freak out.
 
He glares at them.
 
Zoobles honestly still confused on how much of Jax is still in there. When pomni talked about it it seemed like all of Jax was just inside. His whole mind, his thoughts, could he see them? Sometimes he’d do this. React in a way that makes him seem fully conscious. But others, even in the dark. He’d act more like an animal than anything.
 
They pick up a chew toy (it doesn’t get chewed on much. Due to the lack of mouth.) it’s a frog, pomni said he liked it (they think it’s weird that sometimes they treat him like he’s a dog, but honestly pre abstracted Jax would probably also like a chew toy. They chuckle at the thought.) 
 
They throw it at him. And he glares at it. Before turning.
 
“You’re such an asshole” it feels nice to say it. They never said it to him before, not uncencored. 
 
The abstraction seemed more interested in the doll, poking at it.
 
“I assume pomni told you about your other self?” Zooble speaks. Though nothing is said back. Obviously. (Was Jax even in there?) “what kind of an idiot would put this headset on twice.” 
 
But still nothing. 
 
They look around the room, Jax threw the plushie, having successfully ripped the little bow it had on it off, and seems to be batting at that… they think at least??
 
“Where did pomni put your keys?” They didn’t expect an answer, but it was given anyways, with the abstractions eyes darting to a corner. And in it… a pile of keys. (They all thought it was a little weird, but pomni and kinger said leaving objects he liked could calm him.) 
 
A key to Jax’s room… they shouldn’t barge in… but what if there’s clue to where they could be. 
 
“Thanks… I guess.” They grab the only gold one, assuming that leads to his room.
 
.
 
And it does. With a click Jax’s door opens. 
 
It’s… cute. Surprisingly so. A part of it has obviously been customized, only half finished, but even that area is littered with pinks and glitter. Huh… that’s interesting.
 
On the wall is a calendar, it’s just as pretty as the rest of the room. Some days are crossed off. Except for the latest (which Zooble would assume means that’s today?) which has a doodle of a cake on it, under it reads ‘Birthday!!’ 
 
Are they really just celebrating Jax’s birthday? If so they kinda feel bad for breaking in. Zooble assumed they’d find some sort of scheme or prank in here, or some clue where gangle and him would be. But… maybe it’s fine.
 
It could still not be. But they leave. Gangle will tell them what happened. They trust her. And who knows. Maybe everything went okay today. (They hope so at least.)
 

 
It’s late when they come back to the circus. Both Jax and gangle tip toeing to not wake anyone. They go in gangles room. To talk about their day. 
 
Gangle brings out paper and pens “I’m going to draw if you want too” 
 
Jax nods “alright, but I’m not that good.” 
 
They start drawing, talking about their favorite rides. And the eventual souvenirs they got.
 
“I don’t know there’s something about him.” Jax looks at the tomato horse plush “I just want to put him on my self.” 
 
Gangle nods.
 
A bit of time passes, and Jax sees gangle glance over at her paper.
 
“What are you drawing?” Gangle asked. 
 
“Luna moonglam. She’s from an indie comic, she’s cool.” 
 
Jax continued to draw Luna. Glancing up at gangle. Should she continue? Or… maybe she should explain more about her.
 
“She’s like, this collage student, and the comic starts with a bunch of kinda boring slice of life stuff. But then the more you learn about the characters and the world it’s actually pretty interesting to go back and read the first chapters.” She knows.
 
she’s read them… several times. 
 
“It was called like… love to go-go which sounds stupid but it’s actually really good” mostly because  “Luna turns out to be a ghost! Who’s haunting the collage, and forced to stay there forever! She’s rude at the beginning, and doesn’t know what will help her move on. Moving on isn’t like total death like it is in other stories, but instead it helps her become less weak as a ghost-“ no wait “I’m explaining it all wrong!” She’s making the story sound complicated and stupid, which it isn’t either “so she’s stuck as a super weak ghost, and the more stuff she does to fix her regrets in life the more powers she gets, and she’s trying to find the root of everything, in hopes she can be strong enough to be able to forever leave the collage grounds she died on and explore the world!” 
 
It… still kinda sucked as an explanation, but she was trying okay!!! Gangle looked so uncomfortable, she’s doing such a bad job “uh Jax…?”
 
“It’s kinda just about finding yourself and all that… I don’t know, it’s really good though! There’s some killer fight scenes!” Sometimes Luna has to fight other ghosts, and theres some really well drawn emotional scenes “she has a ghost form, and it looks SO COOL! Honestly every scene with it is a good one” 
 
Not to mention Luna was pretty, always wearing bows, and flowers, loving cats and makeup, and she was badass. God Jax wanted to be her so badly- 
 
Gangle just nodded, a slightly confused look on her face, and Jax couldn’t help but think she absolutely butchered explaining it to her. 
 
“I mean- I suck at explaining it, it’s just well done. Especially in the later parts. But I was there before it was popular!!” Honestly it was still a bit underground, but she was into it when the first chapter only at 600 notes! “And some of the newer fans are so annoying! Like yeah? Luna did bad things! But what’s what makes her so interesting, and who cares if a flamethrower with a bow on it is unrealistic?! It’s meant to be cool! And it is cool!” 
 
She’s seen some of the most horrid takes about this character before. It took every cell in her body to not reply to them (though she’d rather be caught dead than posting on tumblr of all places… she wants people to at least think she has a life.) 
 
“it doesn’t help that people keep shipping her with Elio” it pissed her off, truely. It’s like they missed the point of both of their whole characters?! Elio lives the life luna thought she should’ve had, a stereotypical, boring, life! Plus Luna was totally into Elios ex girlfriend. If the author makes lunio cannon she will- 
 
Gangle cringes back, almost flinching… huh? Why would she react like that??? Wait- she didn’t know this comic did she??! 
 
Jax’s eyes suddenly dart down to gangles own sketch pad. On it are drawings of Zooble. with a few anime characters… in a familiar style. (And then one figure stood out. Elios ex. Stella. It was undoubtedly her. And even worse it was in the exact same style as the comic… oh god gangle wasn’t the one who made the comic was she-?!) 
 
Gangle seems to notice this, quickly snatching the sketch book, and holding it close to her.
 
Oh fuck. 
 
“S-sorry!!” Gangle says quickly “thats uhm- I guess that’s my webcomic” she laughs nervously.
 
Oh god Jax has to leave.
 
She gets up.
 
“I’m-“ the words hurt to force out “going back to my room.” 
 
She darts off before gangle can do anything. 
 
.
 
.
 
.
 
 
(Leeroy hated being at this dumb art festival. She hadn’t wanted any of the cringe things anyone was selling. Yes. She had a job now. But that doesn’t mean she wanted to buy stuff without a care. 
 
Sally made her come though, and sally had the car keys. 
 
So Lee quickly found the most desolate part of the festival, and stood off to the side, pulling out her phone and looking at it so people wouldn’t wonder what she was doing.
 
Next to her was a booth. She didn’t pay it much mind. Standing and scrolling on her phone for about 30 minutes. Shifting in place. Waiting for sally to text her saying she’s ready to go back home…
 
She takes a look around… it really was empty in this area.
 
The booth next to her has a woman in it, looking down at her table. She seems tired. Lee, against her own better judgment. Takes a quick glance around the booth, just from the corner of her eye. 
 
There’s keychains, she doesn’t recognize them, it must be from an anime she hasn’t seen. There’s a few stickers, of the same characters in the same designs. There’s doesn’t seem to be very many. Then her eyes stop at a sticker, this time not a character, but a generic cat. Holding a pride flag. there was a ton of them, one for every flag, but of course the one that caught her eye had been the trans one. Number 7. 
 
It was cute.
 
… she wasn’t going to buy it. Obviously not. Where would she even put it? People buy stickers to put on laptops or water bottles or something. And she didn’t own a laptop, and she definitely wasn’t comfortable with putting it on her work water bottle… plus no one knows. If she buys something sally is going to want to see it, and that means sally would have to know. 
 
So she stares at it. Pointlessly. 
 
For… ten minutes. 
 
Shit. The woman at the booth is looking at her. Not saying anything but it would be rude to not buy anything now wouldn’t it, especially since in the 40 minutes she’s been here no one has bought anything from that booth. Sure Leeroy is still standing off to the side, so maybe she could get away with it… But…
 
She’s being suspicious. Isn’t she, she pulls her phone back up. Sally’s going to push really hard if she doesn’t buy anything too.
 
The top of the booth has a username, and Lee types it in quickly. The first thing that pops up is a tumblr account. 
 
Maybe she can see what anime those keychains are from and buy one. She’s in luck too because the moment she hits the link to see the woman’s account she sees the character from a keychain.
 
A comic master post… so they’re ocs. 
 
She clicks the first link, taking her to a post with 5 comic pages on it.
 
Never has she speed read anything so fast. 
 
She didn’t care for it. It was boring. Collage, crushes, some other third thing. It all seemed typical until she reached the end of post six. Where it revealed the main character Luna was a ghost with a cool looking ghost design. That’s pretty cool actually. 
 
So quickly firing her phone off, and with newfound confidence, she smirks. Walking up to the booth, and proudly asking for the Luna keychain.
 
The woman’s eyes light up. As she nervously and excitedly takes the keychain. Thanking Lee as she paid.
 
“If you want” the woman then said, then laughed nervously “i mean i was going to leave soon… and I have a lot of back stock… if you want a free sticker or something… on the house” 
 
She had clamped up, but very awkward pointed “uh… number 7” 
 
The woman’s smile never wavered. As she thanked Lee so much for stopping by. Handing over the trans cat sticker.
 
Lee had shoved it quickly in her pocket, so sally wouldn’t see, carrying the bag with the Luna keychain in it. Before rushing off to find a bench. and sitting down and finishing reading the rest of the comic, just so she could realistically pretend she actually knew this character before today…
 
It started off as pretending of course…)
 
.
 
.
 
.
 
 
Oh god she’s so stupid. She’s so dumb. She sits on her bed and shoves her head in a pillow. She’s so dumb. She’s not going to cry over this. She’s not.
 
Gangle must think she’s such an idiot, trying to explain her own plot to her, doing the worst job at it too- trying to act all high and mighty about gangles own characters. God this is so embarrassing. 
 
Gangle had looked so… weirded out. She cringes to herself. But Jax just had to run her stupid mouth. 
 
Gangle probably hates her. Just like Zooble does. Why can’t she just go back to the real world. She missed Riley. She misses her old room, she misses reading those comics without… this. 
 
Her life was just starting to get better! Everything was changing for the better. And now she just has to go on with the knowledge of herself going on without her. Still laughing with sally and Riley, still-… living. While she’s stuck here. 
 
Luna hates her.
 
It’s a dumb thought, but for the first time since she’s been here she allows a sob at the stupid thought. Luna is a fictional character of course. But if gangle hates her then… 
 
Jax doesn’t want to be here. Jax doesn’t want to be Jax anymore, she wants to go back to being Lee. Why does she have to ruin everything. She’s so dumb. This is all so dumb. She knows she’s on thin ice because of things she didn’t even do! It’s not fair. (And Luna hates her. That thought repeats dumbly in her mind. And she feels so stupid about crying over a fictional character.) 
 
It’s not even just that. She knows it’s not. It’s everything. Everything suddenly hitting her, but for some reason the only thought she can think is about Luna, and it’s so dumb and her chest hurts and everything hurts, and she can’t breathe.
 
All of this was dumb. Everyone in this place hates her, or acts weird around her. She had fun today… but what if tomorrow it goes back to normal.
 
She doesn’t want to be here.
 
She wants to die (no she doesn’t. She doesn’t. She knows she doesn’t. She’s been through this before. She doesn’t want to die she just doesn’t want to be HERE.) but still the thought repeats. No matter how hard she wills it not too. (Sally would be so upset at her. Riley would too. It’s feels as if all her progress was pushed down the drain. All of it was wrong. All of it.)
 
A knock on her door. And she doesn’t want to answer. She doesn’t like anyone here. She hates them all. 
 
Another knock.
 
“I’m uh- going to leave this here!” Gangles voice.  Then a paper is slid under her door.
 
Jax sits up. Looking at it. A folded up notebook page. She doesn’t want to see what’s inside (but whatever it is she deserves. Doesn’t she.). So she gets up. And picks it up off the floor. (Gangle thinks she’s weird. Gangle hates her for something she had done in the past as Jax. Something she doesn’t know, but something Zooble hates her for.)
 
She readies herself. Unfolding the paper.
 
She had expected a note of some king, of a paragraph written in pencil about how weird Jax is, or saying the same vague things everyone else has been, alluding to something she didn’t know (telling her she has to be more like Jax in the past. Or less. She doesn’t understand either.) and how it’s all so ‘hard’. As if it’s not for her as well.
 
But it wasn’t that. Instead it was a drawing.
 
Of Luna and Jax. 
 
Kissing. 
 
Tears run down Jax’s face, and she opens her door immediately. Gangle is standing in front of it still. Her eyes go wide once she sees Jax.
 
“S-sorry-?!! Was that weird- I just- you said you liked her character and I wanted to make something for you so I- uh-“ 
 
It’s almost an out of body experience. Looking at the drawing, in the exact same style she knows and loves. By the artiest herself. Not even asked for. More tears flow down her face and she doesn’t even care that gangle can see her.
 
“No- it’s-“ the words come out through her cries “good. Thanks” she sucks. At talking. And at everything. 
 
But gangle smiles. “I’m sorry again, I wasn’t trying to make you uh-… I mean I was just surprised that you actually knew my characters.” She laughed nervously “and uhm, there was meant to be a reveal that Luna and Elio are siblings” she laughs a bit more.
 
She. Fucking. Knew it. 
 
Jax laughs “I knew it” there was a reason that they kept mentioning them having green eyes and it WASN’T just ghost magic. “Lunas totally down for Stella right?”
 
Gangle nods “yeah- I mean she’s supposed to be… though I’d assume I probably wouldn’t make Elio and Luna siblings uh now… or then? You know, I’d hate to ruin people’s fun like that” 
 
Jax frowns. “Screw those people. I like your story better. Plus no one even talks about how interesting Stella is. They have such a good enemies to lovers dynamic”
 
Gangles eyes glow. “Really?! You think so?!” She smiles “this is so-… cool! I mean It’s a little unreal that you know my comic and we lived so close together.” Gangle then says. “What are the odds of that”
 
“Oh no, that’s not a coincidence at all” Jax shakes her head. “I first heard of you from a local art festival”
 
Her eyes widen “ohh that makes more sense.” She still stand awkwardly in her doorway “can I come in?” 
 
Jax quickly shakes her head “yeah- sorry for uh… being weird.” 
 
Gangle smiles “I could say the same” 
 
Jax didn’t think so. But maybe that was the point. So she just shakes her head. 
 
Gangle looks open. Not leaning in on herself anymore, excitingly showing off her sketch book. It’s… sweet.
 
If everyday was like this maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… maybe…
 
She couldn’t help but smile.
 
She had actually managed to have a good birthday in this place after all.
 
Maybe it would be fine.