Ithacantics - an epic the musical collection of oneshots
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Summary
~~~
“You’ve killed me, Ody.”
“You’ve killed all of us.”
The voices multiplied around him.
“Monster. Monster. Monster.”
“Stop!” Odysseus finally screamed. “S-stop, please!”
But the darkness only closed in tighter.
And somewhere beyond it, Poseidon’s voice echoed:
“After everything you’ve done… how will you sleep at night?”
Odysseus already knew the answer.
I won’t.
~~~
The war is over. Odysseus is home again.
So why can’t he sleep?Haunted by the lives lost beneath his command and the choices that brought him home, the king of Ithaca finds himself drowning in nightmares that feel far too real. As ghosts of the past whisper monster into the dark, only one person can pull him back to shore: Penelope.
But some wounds don’t fade just because the journey ends.
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~~~
“YOU STRANDED HIM ON OGYGIA!” Poseidon roared.
Zeus shrugged. “It wasn’t personal.”
“SEA-SCUM!” Poseidon snapped. “We both know it was.”
Hades sighed. “I truly do not care.”
Poseidon froze. “You SHOULD! He’s supposed to be with YOU by now!”
“Trust me,” Hades muttered, “no one wants him down there more than I do.”
~~~
Olympus is in chaos again.
Zeus and Poseidon are at each other’s throats over one very unlucky mortal—Odysseus—while flinging lightning and boiling seas across the throne room like it’s a sport.
The only one trying to restore order is an increasingly exhausted Hades… and he is very close to losing patience with all of them.
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~~~
“Maybe Odysseus didn’t get lost at sea.”
Antinous nudged Telemachus’ chin up with the tip of his boot.
“Maybe he just didn’t want to come home to this.”
Laughter echoed through the throne room.
Above them, the throne still sat empty.
And for the first time, the thought struck Telemachus harder than any blow:
Nobody was coming.
~~~
While Odysseus is lost at sea, his son is left alone with the monsters waiting at home.
Surrounded by cruel suitors who have overtaken Ithaca piece by piece, Telemachus learns just how dangerous loneliness can become when nobody is coming to save you.
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~~~
“You put an apple on your head and told our son to shoot it?!”
“In my defense,” Odysseus said weakly, “I thought Athena taught him archery already.”
Penelope pointed to the ground.
“Sit.”
Odysseus sat immediately.
Telemachus watched in awe.
His father feared monsters, gods, and storms.
But apparently, his mother was far more terrifying.
~~~
Teaching Telemachus archery seemed like a great idea to Odysseus right up until the moment an arrow ended up lodged in his shoulder.
Now, with a panicking Telemachus, an unimpressed Penelope, and one very reckless king of Ithaca, what should have been a simple lesson quickly turns into complete chaos.
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Eating Habits/Piggy Nonsense by Panda_Toes
Fandoms: EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums)
24 Jul 2026
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Summary
~~~
Odysseus stared at the piece of meat in his hand.
Silence filled the room.
Then, with all the tragedy of a fallen hero facing his doom, he rose to his feet and raised it toward the heavens.
“I HAVE LOST THIS WAR!”
He shoved it into his mouth.
Telemachus immediately leapt into the air.
“THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DONE!”
Penelope pinched the bridge of her nose.
“My love,” she said, trying and failing not to smile, “it's official. You've lost the bet.”
Odysseus buried his face in his hands.
“I am doomed...”
~~~
After one too many dinners trigger unpleasant memories of monsters, gods, and lost friends, Odysseus makes a bold declaration:
He's giving up meat.
Unfortunately for him, his family has absolutely no faith in his self-control.
With a mischievous Penelope, a relentlessly amused Telemachus, and a very dangerous bet involving Circe, Odysseus soon discovers that surviving monsters may have been easier than surviving vegetables.
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~~~
What do you want?
The voice was his.
And it wasn't.
Odysseus looked into the storm and answered without hesitation.
“To get back home.”
And what are you willing to do to get what you want?
His hands shook.
His voice did not.
“Anything.”
~~~
Some monsters are born.
Others are invited in.
As strange cracks begin to appear in Odysseus's mind—and the people he loves start noticing the man they know slipping away—the truth behind his darkest choices begins to surface. Long before he reached Ithaca, Odysseus made a promise.
Now, something has come to collect.
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Summary
~~~
Zeus looked at the grinning young god for a long moment.
Then he laughed.
“Boy... you are either trouble incarnate...”
A pair of golden winged sandals shimmered into existence.
“…or exactly what Olympus needs.”
Hermes' grin only grew wider.
~~~
Before he became Olympus' swift-footed messenger, Hermes was just a curious young god with far too much free time.
One moment of boredom leads to the invention of the lyre, the theft of Apollo's sacred cattle, and an encounter with Zeus that changes the course of Olympus forever.
Because when Hermes gets bored... history happens.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 689
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 33
- Hits:
- 263