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You can't help but like your upstairs neighbor, even though he's a little shit who turns his music up way too loud at odd hours. He's this plucky little rustie with amazing horns, he knows how to slice and dice a guy in like two seconds, and once when you broke your thermal hull during the dim season he was neighborly enough to ask his palebro to fix it for you, even though ain't no way to get to know him in the course of normal conversation.
Also, when his featherbeast lusus died... You weren't there when it happened but afterwards he was just like a little robo-dude, rambling on automatic behind his facade and not even knowing it was cracked to hell and back, pretending like it was just a fact of life and he didn't mind.
So yeah okay you are vaguely pale on your upstairs neighbor.
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How does a normal troll with no clue that the game ever existed see an ex-player, anyway? Especially one who used to be an alien. Hopefully a series of various outsider POVs.Series
- Part 5 of Covalent Bonds
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,126
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 161
- Kudos:
- 1,239
- Bookmarks:
- 87
- Hits:
- 20,867
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The door opens and its light is a blinding one. The kind that sears your eyes and causes a pain in your skull and a ringing in your ears. The kind that scrapes your soul and body clean alike. The kind that unmakes you. And unmade, the players are. A mere eight humans, a measly three trolls, unmade and brought into a universe that isn't theirs, per say...
But is eerily familiar to a few.
It's like waking from a coma. Alternia exists again, untouched by the meteor, three years ahead of when they last saw it. Like the game never happened at all. But they're all still here. And it is all of them that are here, because the humans came along with, but they're not exactly human anymore.
With only a few sweeps left before the empire comes calling, is there time enough for the young gods to settle onto Alternia? And what of all the others who played the game but didn't get a chance to step through the door? And what can even be done about Her Imperious Condescension, her revived empire, and her horrorterror lusus?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,953
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 49
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 862
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In Which John Egbert is Allowed to Feel Rage for Once in his Life by bewarethepurpleone
Fandoms: Homestuck
22 Nov 2025
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John stared at the eyeless muse, waiting for her to crack a joke or at least a smile. Something to let the poor kid know that this wasn't what was actually waiting for him--for all of them--so close to the end of the game. No such solace came, and a dull memory began to flicker in the back of the teenager's head, one that burned hot for just a moment before fading quietly into a migraine waiting to happen. A memory of himself and his ectobiological sister. And a movie he hadn't realized was as AWFUL as it was.
"So, is being a shitty writer a requirement for cherubs, or is it a family trait?"
The Heir of Breath is recruited by Alternate Calliope to help ensure Homestuck^2 never happens. The clearest way to make it work is to force the game to run a patch before its completion, but it will require a lot of work on John's end, and the results are something no one but Alt Calliope and her increasingly fed up editor could have expected. John has never felt closer to the Makaras, and as time goes on, the feelings start to be reciprocated.
Series
- Part 1 of Patchstuck
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Bookmark Notes:
44
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All In The Family by unlimitedInk
Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Book of Boba Fett (TV), The Mandalorian (TV)
08 Mar 2025
Summary
These are the tales of Clan Mudhorn.
Their creation.
Their adventures.
Their challenges.
Their cheeses.Fun for the whole family. You’re going to have a great time!
- Words:
- 260,589
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 735
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-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --
GT: hi!
GT: umm this may sound weird, but it turns out i sorta created your universe!
GT: it's a long story, but the point is we're in danger from something that came from your session and i may need your help!
EB: JESUS FUCK, EGBERT, DID YOU SERIOUSLY CONTACT ME AT THE END OF MY TIMELINE TO TELL ME *THAT*?--
The beta kids are trolls and the trolls are human. Some things stay the same. Other game-related disasters vary as killer glitches infect the game and "Davesprite" plays the role of unwilling villain.
Series
- Part 1 of Constants & Variables: A Species Swap AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 203,356
- Chapters:
- 46/46
- Comments:
- 787
- Kudos:
- 1,385
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
- 39,148
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PULL TOGETHER FOR THE CLAN AND KIN by unlimitedInk
Fandoms: The Mandalorian (TV), Star Wars: The Book of Boba Fett (TV), Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
08 Mar 2025
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After beating Bo Katan for the right to rule, Din’s plan was to listen to and troll his baar’ur, ease into being leader of the Mando’ade, and fumble his way through the galaxy. Most of his family DO NOT WANT HIM TO BE MAND’ALOR.
Well, Dee, the Force, and Destiny, have thoughts on this. They have many, many thoughts.
Series
- Part 2 of All In The Family
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,469
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Comments:
- 426
- Kudos:
- 1,266
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 27,319
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When Karkat first meets Dave Strider, an anonymous caste troll who parades around in a bright red shirt for "teh ironyz," it's hate at first sight. His impression changes drastically when he discovers Dave's candy red symbol isn't as anonymous as he pretends.
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Dave realizes through a series of commands that there is a possibility that he is gay for Karkat.
(I don't normally write second-person stories, so I hope you all enjoy it!)
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Slightly experimental. I wanted to explore troll society and biology and this is what happened. Thought it would be interesting to see a human try and deal with suddenly being a troll. Yes its already been done numerous times. Not quite sure where all this is going. I have some idea though. Can anyone say Empire Rebellion? Might get a bit Star Trekkie later. Or at least SG:A. Does anyone even watch that still aside from me?
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-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES --
CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS.
CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again
TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora.
TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny.
CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE?
TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored.
CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:BSeries
- Part 1 of Covalent Bonds
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,490
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 92
- Kudos:
- 1,573
- Bookmarks:
- 173
- Hits:
- 24,452
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Eye Spy by ValleyOfKings
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
26 Feb 2022
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In which Yuuji realises that he hasn't seen Gojo's eyes. Determined to solve the mystery, he turns to his friends and even Nanami for help. But with each explanation, Yuuji comes to a horrible realisation...
Gojo Satoru must have the ugliest eyes in the world.
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Bookmark Notes:
Everyone collectively agreeing to troll Gojo XD
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- Words:
- 13,051
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 6
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In which Sollux Captor, troll of many curses including the most cursed love life, falls hard in pale pity for Dayvhe, apparently the planet's least romanceable troll. In which Dayvhe himself is basically more secret vault than troll at this point and generally wishes that everyone else would just chill the fuck out for once.
Contains slow burn 'will they/won't they' pale rom, frankly scandalising pale displays, a best friendship for the ages, highly illegal non-quadrant romance, polyamorous non-quadranted romance, inadvisable body mods, poor decisions and revolutionary content. Contains more plot than strictly needed comprising of shocking revelations, intergenerational hoofbeastshit, and outright rebellion. Unsuitable for trolls seven sweeps and under.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,113,741
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,906
- Kudos:
- 2,114
- Bookmarks:
- 430
- Hits:
- 89,230
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Bookmark Notes:
on Chap 6
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A masterclass in troll society, including quadrant romances and social echeladders (e.g. the hemospectrum caste system)
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The newly-forged gods of a new universe cross the threshold into their ultimate reward, but something is obviously not right. The players find themselves back on Earth and Alternia, still possessed of their godhood. The strangest thing, though, is that human players have woken up as trolls, and vice-versa. Something or someone has tempered with the game right at its conclusion.
I mean, no way this can be the actual ultimate reward.
Now the players, scattered across two planets and among civilizations they only have second-hand knowledge of at best, must find each other and figure out what went wrong. And also, hopefully, they can take this opportunity to figure out some stuff about themselves along the way...
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Dave joins Rose in her drunken endeavors. While they bond, he spills his feelings about Karkat. Dave and Karkat retreat to the bedroom to try to work things out.
(Warning: Mild emetophobia)-
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The game's over. They've won. And they're all trolls now.
What better to do than send inane messages all night?
(Trollstuck told through pesterlogs. And other formats eventually, as I'm going to get into a lot of my troll biology/culture headcanons!)
Series
- Part 1 of trollstuck, dicestyle
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,576
- Chapters:
- 13/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 92
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 1,372
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Bookmark Notes:
CG: ALRIGHT. I THINK WE CAN SOLVE TWO PROBLEMS AT ONCE. GET OUT OF YOUR HIVE AND WALK TO CITY LIMITS. THERE WILL BE FEWER PEOPLE, AND WE’LL BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHERE AT LEAST ONE OF YOU IS.
GG: I can’t do that!
CG: WHY THE EVERLOVING SPHINCTERFUCK NOT? I SAW YOU DURING THE GAME, AND I KNOW YOU HAVE PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL WALKSTRUTS!
GG: BECAUSE I AM A TROLL NOW, AND I’M THINKING ABOUT KILLING OTHER TROLLS! A LOT!
GG: If I go outside and anyone even looks at me, I’m going to hit them over the head with my spoon! And watch the fucking language, buster!
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M PUTTING YOU IN HUMAN TIME OUT. GO CALM DOWN ENOUGH TO DO YOUR MIND WARDING TECHNIQUES.
— carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned gutsyGumshoe [GG] from responding to the memo! —
TT: Seriously?
CG: WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF ANYONE’S ABOUT TO GET THEMSELVES CULLED BEFORE WE CAN DEAL WITH NON LIFE THREATENING PROBLEMS.
CG: WELL, NOT THREATENING TO ANYONE WE CARE ABOUT. NO ONE WILL CARE IF A FEW MIDBLOODS GO MISSING FROM JANE’S NEIGHBORHOOD.
TT: I have a feeling that Jane will, but you have a point. So far, we know that Dave, Jane, Rose and I are alright, for certain values of ‘alright’. Rose, you wouldn’t happen to know where Roxy is, would you?
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- Words:
- 139,586
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 34
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A story in which a young mutant is given as tribute to the Grand Highblood and struggles to find his place in the world, ultimately coming to the conclusion that social reform is required. Involves over six separate duels (including two for quadrants), many scenes of violence, episode of traumatic flashbacks, multiple scenarios involving mind control, sexual encounters (both consensual and not), the destruction of no less than five fine seagoing vessels, blatant hemocaste desecration, even more blatant hemodiscrimination, two cases of mild quadrant vacillitation, one instance of quadrant fuckupery, and an inordinate amount of swearing. May not be appropriate for grubs and young trolls.
Series
- Part 1 of Alternative Alternia
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,922
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 406
- Bookmarks:
- 82
- Hits:
- 14,337
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- Words:
- 131,557
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 6
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John had been expecting a lot of things after the game. Well, no. That’s a lie. (Honestly, when would he have time to worry about the so-called “Ultimate reward” when he was fighting for his life?) But he had expected something.
His gut had told him that they would be remaking earth or whatever. Either living out in the medium or making a whole new planet entirely. Or that they would open the door and a planet would just… be there.
Everything going black wasn’t in the cards.
Less so was walking up in some goo trap.