19 Works by Cabbagepatcho
Listing Works
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“You remember my name, but little else.” It’s spoken as a statement for Jayce to confirm, not a question. “Nothing of how we met.”
Jayce edges closer to the barrier.
“No, not - Not technically.” He considers for a moment, and only a moment, what he should reveal. But if the parts of him that remember are insisting he put his faith in Victor, there must be good reason for it.
“I didn’t - don’t, remember you, but I know you. I can feel it.”
“How can you-”
“And I trust you, Viktor. Something tells me I’m allowed to do that.”
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Jayce wakes up in the Undercity beaten, imprisoned, missing his tie…And his memories. His kidnappers are demanding the formula for Hextech - A powerful energy source Jayce has never even heard of. He knows only one thing for certain, and that’s who he can trust. Even if it’s the man that kidnapped him.
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Everything Goes According to Plan by Cabbagepatcho
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends
23 Dec 2024
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Occasionally, Viktor will send Jayce out to obtain further funding for their Hextech from wealthy Piltovian investors.
Jayce is finding it difficult to convince himself that he doesn't enjoy it.
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Stede Bonnet is an alcoholic divorcee who owns a middling bakery during the inbetween moments of him trying to justify his own existence - That's if his upper-class community is to be believed.
Blackbeard is a renowned celebrity chef with an unknown past, complete terror of the restaurant world, recipient of both the James Beard Award and several DUI's, and has a good looking dick - That's if the general public is to be believed.
Edward Teach doesn't exist anymore - That isn't questioned.
“You really don’t know who I am?”Stede hurriedly straightened. How many times would he offend this man? He felt as if he were attempting to navigate a minefield in a blind gavotte.
“I don't know if you go around crashing into many fire hydrants, but no, I certainly do not know you, please forgive me the transgression.” He attempted to keep his tone even. “I’m not really from this town.” Stede’s gaze briefly flickered down. The stranger’s hand was no longer clenched.
“Neither am I.” It was said in a tone of resignation, almost as if - Oh, and wasn’t Stede Bonnet just projecting here - Almost as if the stranger didn’t quite know where he belonged.
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Stede Bonnet's love life is completely non-existent and an utter tragedy to behold - At least, according to those closest in his life.
Thus they're compelled to do what any group comprised of an ex-wife, co-workers turned friends through sheer proximity, and assorted significant others of aforementioned co-workers turned friends would do: Set up five blind dates that Stede Bonnet has no choice but to go on.
Stede keeps on showing up ridiculously early to these dates, but at least the bartender is friendly.
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Opposites attract. An age old adage that surely must ring true, because what else could describe internationally known musician, lead singer, and guitarist of Anne’s Revenge, Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame Inductee, People’s Magazine Sexiest Man Alive three times over, the ever-controversial and infamous Blackbeard himself, being in a relationship with simple Stede Bonnet?
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Edward hadn’t thought he’d be waiting this long. Not that a long time had passed, because it hadn’t yet. It had only been twenty-seven minutes and fifty-seven seconds. It had only been twenty-eight minutes, and that was not a long time.
A long time was the three and a half years it had taken Ed to work up the courage to ask this final question.
A long time was the forty-four years it had taken for Edward Teach to meet internationally known and beloved movie star, Stede Bonnet, in the first place.
Twenty-nine minutes was not a long time.
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why do you always seek absolution? by Cabbagepatcho
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
10 Sep 2023
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The stars haven’t changed.
Well, they have, technically. They were constantly changing, always in flux - Something Aziraphale privately related to more than he would like to admit. But the glory, the absolute splendor, that has remained.
When he looks back at Crowley, however, it’s as if the demon doesn’t see any of that. His face is drawn, expressionless. Aziraphale has the urge to snatch his glasses off his face, if only to see if the demon is feeling anything at all.
“Don’t you-Don’t you like it?”
“Yeah.” Crowley’s voice is almost cruelly neutral. “I like it. It’s fine.”
*Inspired by the theory that Crowley was given snake eyes as a punishment so he can never see the stars again.*
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When Hinata reluctantly agrees to switch partners with his friend Nishinoya for a school project, he ends up being paired with the two class pariahs: Kenma Kouzume, a reclusive foreign transfer student who struggles with the language and has found the easiest way to avoid speaking it is by remaining as silent as possible, and Kageyama Tobio, a young man with a mysterious past, known to be roughly confrontational at worst and aggressively defensive at best. He is also the only one in the class who can speak Kenma's language.
As Hinata attempts to draw both boys from their shells over the course of two weeks, he finds both a keen understanding and a profound warmth stuck behind the language barrier. With Kageyama acting as resident translator and with the days quickly flying by in each other's company, Hinata finds it hard to tell who he's falling for: The one creating such lovely words, or the one speaking them.
-ON HIATUS-
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Hinata Shoyo’s Super Awesome and Realistic Plan to Get Back His Ex by Cabbagepatcho
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
08 Nov 2021
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“Anyway, what are you working on?” The barista asked once more, quickly changing the subject.
He studied the barista now, trying to search for an ulterior motive. Thick brown hair, a little on the longer side that fell around -and sometimes in - his face. Softer angles but sly expressions, usually accompanied with a genuine, if mischievous, smile. Noticeable dimples. Guileful brown eyes, always livened up with a teasing glint.
“You have to tell me your name in exchange.”
He whistled, “That secret, huh? Fine, I’ll tell you my name. After you show me.”
Hinata nodded, relenting, before opening it up to the first page and reading it out, “Hinata Shoyo’s Super Awesome and Realistic Plan to Get Back His Ex.”
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Working as a barista at the local café Hinata frequents, Oikawa helps him formulate a plan to win back his ex, Kageyama.
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“Woah, woah, Jean, are you okay? Listen to me, whatever you were dreaming of, it wasn’t real. You’re safe now. I’m right here with you.”
Jean wasn’t listening, or if he was, it certainly didn’t show - His grip around Marco’s neck refusing to lessen, even at the reassuring words and comforting strokes down his back that followed. There was a faint murmuring in the otherwise silent room, so quiet Marco wouldn’t even have noticed if it hadn’t matched the hot intakes of breath against his neck.
It took all of his strength to pry his fellow cadet off of him, holding Jean upright by the shoulders once more.
“What are you saying, Jean? I can’t make you out.”
“You were dead. I saw you. We burned you. I wasn’t there, I didn’t even see it happen, I wasn’t there with you and you-”
“Died? Look at me, Jean, look at me. You were just having a bad dream. A nightmare. That’s all it was. I’m here with you right now.”
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"I'm gonna go look for them." He announced to no one in particular.
"Oh, don't worry!" Nishinoya reassured. "They'll be out soon enough."
"Yeah," Tanaka agreed with such a mischievous look in his eyes that Kageyama frowned on reflex, "And I'm sure they're going to have a really good reason for disappearing."Kageyama scanned the room, hoping that one of the captains found these words as worrying as he did. Instead he locked eyes with Tsukishima, who's gaze was narrowed in apparent distaste.
"What did you do to them now?" Tsukishima asked, his voice the epitome of cool and casual. His tone didn't sound curious at all, but the brief flash of, if not panic than at least worry, in his eyes betrayed him.Any answer was interrupted by the slamming open of the gym doors and any reasonable thought process of Kageyama's was interrupted by the sight before him.
Yamaguchi and Hinata in a skirt. More importantly, however, Hinata in a skirt.
And not just Hinata in a skirt, but Hinata in a cheerleading outfit. Wearing makeup.Hinata in a cheerleading outfit wearing makeup.
"What. The. Fuck."
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God, I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you by Cabbagepatcho
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
14 Jun 2021
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“Oikawa, I’m not-”
“What? You’re not sorry? You’re not sorry that you’ve absolutely shattered my heart?” As if these were practiced lines, Oikawa theatrically clutched his chest.
“You’re not sorry that you’re more than content to throw away our entire relationship over the drunken throes of some brainless pair of abs?”
On cue, Oikawa whipped around to take a look at the wide-eyed ace, who was much too drunk himself to understand what was going on.
“No offense, Bokuto.”
“Oh, none taken, you’re all good.”
“Hey,” Though Iwaizumi’s face was blurry, the warning in his voice was crystal clear when he said, “Don’t talk about him that way.”
“And why not? Is this more than a silly hook-up, my dear dear Iwa-chan? Do you actually love him? Is that what’s going on here?”
At a raging highschool party, Tooru Oikawa is certain that he's witnessed Hajime Iwaizumi, his beloved boyfriend of three years, ruthlessly cheating on him with Fukodarani's Ace.
He's completely heartbroken...And very determined to give them both a piece of his mind.
Oikawa's also very drunk, but frankly, he doesn't see what that has to do with anything.
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Battle of the Queens by Cabbagepatcho
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
28 Jan 2021
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Queen Annabeth of the frigid Eastern Kingdom and Queen Piper of the balmy Western Kingdom have made history by attempting to end the gruesome war that has been fought between their countries for centuries.
Loyally standing by their side is their right hands, Jason and Perseus respectively. All yearn to finally end the exhaustive fight that, if continued, could secure the downfall of both nations.
But the hatred that exists between these two kingdoms runs deep, and as these four struggle to rid the world of it, a torrent of shocking revelations surge to strike them down; secrets better left hidden, love forbidden at the highest level, wounds, wreckage, betrayal, abuse...Everything that will guarantee these nations ground each other to dust.Can our heroes rise above it all? Or will they travel the blood-soaked path the gods have laid out before them?
*Will be revamped and re-done in the next couple of months.*
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His soft, musical tone wasn't enough to get Iwaizumi to look up. Annoyed, Oikawa turned around, his back facing the audience as he focused instead on the song.
"Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone? Yeah, and there isn't anything they could of said or done?"
As Oikawa was drawn into the song, he turned around once more, this time with his eyes closed as he piped out the lyrics, his body swaying in time with the beat.
"And everyday I see you on your own, and I can't believe that you're alone-"
In-between the blasting music, Oikawa heard sounds of a small commotion; confused murmurings and steady footsteps growing louder.
He opened his eyes mid-lyric only to find Shiratorizawa's captain standing right in front of him on the stage.“But I overheard your girls and-Ushiwaka? What the fuck?”
As if this were a scene from a romance novel, Ushijima produced a microphone from thin air and without missing a beat, started singing, “That you’re looking for a boyfriend, I see that-”
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" “Okay, okay! Calm down, everyone, you’re all so dramatic!” Yamaguchi, ever the peacekeeper, stood up and placed himself between Tsukishima and Kageyama, holding up a hand in front of both their faces until they settled down.
“Let’s bring it down before you two ruin the game for everyone. How about a nice and easy one?” He asked, holding five fingers out.“Never have I ever been kissed.” Yamaguchi sheepishly proclaimed, keeping his palm intact.
Then all hell broke loose. "
During the Karasuno Volleyball Team's Monthly Sleepover, it's revealed exactly who has and who hasn't been kissed. Finding out that Yamaguchi has yet to have his first kiss, but is more than eager to find out what it's like, Tsukishima agrees, with absolutely no ulterior motives, to help him practice so that he's ready for the real deal.
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“What I’m wondering is...How can you know? How can you know you’re into guys if you’ve never been with one?”
His dad’s face wasn’t mean spirited, he wasn’t trying to mock Jake’s words and yet Jake was completely thrown off guard. Panic tightened his throat as he struggled to find a way to articulate an answer. A voice that sounded very similar to Angelina Jolie hissed, What if he’s right? What if you’re just making things up again for attention? The words echoed the same ones he had overheard the doctor say to his parents after they conducted a mental exam and everything had turned out to be fine.
No, no. The Squip had been real and he wasn’t lying about his sexuality. So how could he convince his dad, who was expectantly waiting for an answer Jake didn’t have?Jake’s usual smooth words and manner were infuriatingly absent. “It’s not a-a test trial. I do know I’m in-into guys because-because-”
“Because what, Jake?”
“Because I’m in a relationship with one!” He blurted out, much to the surprise of both himself and his dad....
“His name is uh-” Jake’s gaze darted around frantically, landing on a sole figure standing off to the side “-Michael! His name is Michael Mell.”
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Jeremy brought the Squip for one reason and one reason only. He wanted to be cool enough for Michael Mell.
Some part of him told himself that this was ridiculous. If Michael hadn’t liked him, obviously they wouldn’t be friends, wouldn’t have matching tattoos, wouldn’t spend practically every day with each other. Yet that was the thing...Jeremy wanted to be more than friends.
He was sure he certainly wasn’t cool enough for that. So when Rich told him all about this Squip, it sounded too good to be true.Still, Jeremy was willing to try it.
So together, they forked over $401 for this gray, oblong pill from Japan that was supposed to change his entire life. -
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Only when he was seated at the cool kids table, having an actual conversation with Brooke-the second prettiest girl in school-did Jeremy feel control return again to his body.
He tried not to let the Squip know how much that had freaked him out, but Jeremy had a feeling it already knew.
At a break in conversation, he directed his thoughts to the computer inside his brain."Hey...I would prefer if you didn’t do that thing again-especially without warning."
"What thing are you referring to?" The Squip asked, feigning ignorance.
"That-that whole body control thing. It was weird and I didn’t like it."
He could almost feel the Squip’s disapproval, but still it said, "Very well. I won’t do it."
"Thanks-"Jeremy started but was cut off.
"Unless the situation calls for it."
Jeremy didn’t know how to reply but the Squip continued anyway.
"Follow my instructions, and the situation will never call for it."
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For the past twelve years of both their lives, Michael had always been there for Jeremy.
When Jeremy was thirteen years old and had fallen out of a tree, and no one at school wanted to sign his cast, Michael had written his name in big black letters that covered almost the entire thing.
When some sophomore pieces of shit has tried shoving Jeremy in a locker during their freshman year, Michael had been the only one to stand up to them...nevermind the fact it had resulted in him being shoved inside instead.
When Jeremy’s mom had left his dad and the following night, Michael was greeted with the sight of Jeremy sobbing and panting outside of his door. Thank god his parents had been off on a business trip.
Point is, no matter what, Michael was there.
That all started to change when Jeremy began dating Squip.
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The King and Queen could see he was weakening. He made the mistake of looking at his mother's pleading eyes and caved. "For the love of-Fine! Fine!" Sighing, he regained his composure. "So...who's the lucky princess?" King John groaned loudly and Mary whacked his arm.
"What?" Dean asked, looking back and forth questioningly between them.
"Well..They're not exactly a princess."
"So a duchess then?"
"No, no, they're royalty. They come from a very rich country."
"But what? It's royalty but not a princess. I know I'm not going to marry the fu-” He stopped trying to make a concerted effort not to curse in front of his mother, “Freaking king.” Dean heard Sam and Adam burst into laughter outside the door. Dirty little eavesdroppers.
"Honey, I want you to be open to this idea. I've already run it past everybody."John's complaining.
Sam's laughter.
Oh no."If we're being specific about this, the royalty we will be receiving is a prince." She said the words very slow. "Prince Castiel of The Hemel Region."
Oh.
So that's why they were laughing.*Will be revamped and re-done in the next couple of months, circa 2024*