CandlemasBells



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Jaskier stared in horror at the man before him.

    No, not man, because no man would ever do something so horrifying and appalling such as this without so much as a twitch to his face, and even though Jaskier spent most of his time and effort trying to convince this self-deprecating hunk of a witcher that no, he was not a heartless monster and was in fact, still human in many aspects, Jaskier could not bring himself to do it now. Not this time.

    Maybe not ever.

    ~

    You know how some game mechanics make sense in games but are absolutely ridiculous in real life?

    Crackfic where instead of grand adventures and heroics, Jaskier spends his travels having to deal with Geralt’s absurd behavior - from horrifying eating habits, his ridiculous collection of broken rakes, aggressive herb gathering techniques, to a frankly scary obsession with Gwent, among other things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,953
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    942
    Kudos:
    1,929
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    451
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    01 Jul 2020

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Five times Jaskier snuggles up with Geralt, and one time Geralt seeks him out instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    1,116
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    7,731

    09 Jun 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Unbridled curiosity can kill more than just a cat, Geralt." Borch rested a gloved hand on Geralt's shoulder. "Guard your mind and make haste, my friend, lest you force destiny to grant you your blessing." (Because we all know Jaskier wouldn't have made it down the mountain without running face-first into trouble.) Jaskier Whump and Friendship Fixit. Rated T for violence/mild gore

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,376
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    526
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    8,666

    05 Jun 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "There is blood staining his teeth. He can taste it, rich and red. Metallic, it burns as it drips down his throat."

    Jaskier runs into some trouble late one evening after a night at the pub. He does his best to defend himself, grateful for the fact that when things get particularly bad Geralt is there to have his back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,420
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    907
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    8,607

    27 May 2020

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Look at me, Jaskier.”

    “I ‘m lookin’ at you, Ger’lt, and you’re very handsome.”

    The Witcher sighs. “You have a fever.”

    Jaskier shakes his head slightly. “Can’t have a fever,” he argues weakly as he continues to shiver. “‘M freezing.”

    “That’s because of the fever.”

    The bard looks affronted. “Well that’s rude.”

    (Or, as it turns out, there's no such thing as a mild case of blood poisoning)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,578
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    1,076
    Bookmarks:
    167
    Hits:
    15,880

    22 May 2020