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If I Can’t Have Him, I’m Dying Slow; If I Can’t Hold Him, I’m Dying Cold by gryff_grace
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
03 Jul 2026
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He’s at Dodger Stadium, flat on the ground, looking up at his assailant. Hard concrete and nacho chips dig into his back. Blood pools in his mouth. He wonders if he could roll himself under the seats - similar to how Buck rolled himself underneath a firetruck all those years ago to save him, except Eddie can only save himself now -
At least the kids are safe.
She promised.
“Where is she?!” the guy screams, pointing the gun at Eddie.
Fucking Taylor Kelly is going to be the death of him.
*
Or - Eddie takes Chris and Theo to a Dodgers game. He doesn’t know what’s worse. The fact that he’s seated in the same section as Buck’s ex-girlfriend and Buck’s current boyfriend, or the fact that they’re all going to have fight for their lives soon.
Series
- Part 2 of Above the Clouds
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
10 Aug 2026
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Eddie’s terrified. The weight lodged in his chest has shifted to complete and utter panic. His skin is hot. His eyes are burning. There was once a time when he’d say, I do not panic, but even that was a lie. Eddie panics a lot, actually. But he’s been taught how to manage it, how to make himself Jello, how to bring himself back to reality.
But this reality is what’s panic-inducing, and he can’t Jello himself out of this one.
Because he’s not scared for himself. Eddie’s killed men before. More than four at a time. Eddie’s, objectively, been in worse situations than this. Eddie’s been shot and stabbed and buried.
But he’s never been in a situation like this, with a four-year-old who means the world to him, a four-year-old who’s Buck’s son.
*
Or - Eddie takes Theo to the mall. The trip does NOT go as planned, when robbers infiltrate and they’re forced into a hostage situation.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
10 Aug 2026
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Buck takes Jee Yun and Robbie on a zoo trip only to get into a car accident on the way home.
Or,
Buck's NDE👧👶🚦🛻
Series
- Part 1 of Dad Buck Fics
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
07 Aug 2026
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When a rescue ends in a catastrophic structural collapse, Buck is left crushed beneath a steel beam with injuries too severe to survive without immediate treatment—and too unstable for the 118 to move him.
While Hen, Chim, Bobby, Ravi and Eddie do everything physically possible to keep him alive, Buck watches from several feet away.
He hears every desperate plea and every confession they never intended him to know. Bobby calls him his son. Chim begs him not to make him break another promise to Maddie. Ravi admits Buck was the first person who made him feel like he belonged.
And Eddie tells Buck he loves him.
When Buck is offered a place beyond the pain, it will take a five-year-old, a promise involving dinosaur pancakes and Eddie’s unfinished confession to lead him home.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
04 Aug 2026
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This was a prompt on Tik tok by RavensCAT
Angsty Buddie Prompt
Eddie pushing Buck to go to therapy over and over again until Buck just snaps and yells like he’s never yelled before. Eddie just stops and stares at him, letting him get it out and knows there’s something more. He pushes until Buck finally reveals he was SA’d by a therapist in S01.
Leading to an over protective Eddie who offers to be there with him if he ever wants to go or to be the ear Buck needs instead.Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
02 Aug 2026
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Unable to afford an upscale heat service, Jungkook decides to volunteer at the local breeding hole and get all the knots he needs. After a rocky start, he finds himself in the care of three attentive alphas who don’t love the idea of Jungkook being fucked by other alphas ever again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,699
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 157
- Kudos:
- 900
- Bookmarks:
- 185
- Hits:
- 10,989
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
29 Jul 2026
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Buck’s vision was starting to blur at the edges, a dark vignette creeping in like smoke. His hand fumbled for Eddie’s sleeve but didn’t quite make contact. He slumped further down, back pressing against the base of the table, trying to stay quiet. Trying not to make this worse.
His fingers came away from his chest, soaked in red.
No one had seen it yet.
And Buck couldn’t find the air to call out.
OR
The 118 only meant to attend a gala—but by the end of the night, Buck was shot, and nothing was ever the same again.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
28 Jul 2026
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You Didn't Put Those Bones In The Ground by MustacheEddie
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV), Station 19 (TV)
22 Dec 2025
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“Buck… Evan,” Eddie murmured softly. “You know I love you, right?”
“Edmundo Diaz,” Buck snapped weakly, panic bleeding into his voice. “No. We are not having this conversation right now. I love you too – but you’re not dying on me. Not today. Not ever. Okay? You don’t get to do that. Our son needs you.”
“B–Buck,” Eddie slurred. “You need to– stay– Buck, stay awake... "
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or; Buck and Eddie gets in a car crash on their way to pick up Chris from a sleepover, Buck blames himself and leaves LA. Can their relationship survive this and what happens when Buck returns back to LA months later?Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
28 Jul 2026
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The day Buck receives the settlement offer, he is ready to reject it to win back his job and his family at Station 118. But when Christopher is rushed to the hospital needing a critical, very expensive spinal surgery on the other side of the country that insurance won't cover, Buck breaks his legal no-contact order and races to Eddie's side.
To save Christopher's mobility, Buck makes the ultimate sacrifice: he accepts the payout. He willingly plays the villain, letting Bobby, Maddie, and the crew believe he chose greed over loyalty, and exiles himself to Florida to help Christopher heal in secret. Back in LA, Eddie must silently endure a resentful firehouse, anchored by a devastating truth: "If the choice is between you and Christopher, you will lose every time."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,546
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 806
- Bookmarks:
- 286
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- 17,319
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
27 Jul 2026
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When Evan Buckley leaves Los Angeles on deployment, he doesn’t just walk away from the 118 — he leaves behind the people who taught him what home means.
Over two and a half years, distance reshapes everything: a child grows up, a house learns how to breathe around absence, and love is carried quietly through letters, memory, and waiting.
This is a story about war and return, about chosen family, and about coming back anyway.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
22 Jul 2026
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Eddie thought wearing a bulletproof vest would protect him.
It’s designed to cover his chest, to prevent any real damage from happening to him. It completely shelters his heart, so no bullet can penetrate such a vital organ and shatter it into pieces.
At least, it’s supposed to.
It doesn’t.
A sharp crack, a violent whizzing sound, and suddenly Eddie’s ears are ringing.
Time seems to slow down around him as he staggers backwards, almost as if he’s been shoved back by an unseen force.
or; The 118 respond to the hostage situation at the grocery store, but this time someone gets hurt.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
21 Jul 2026
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POST LAWSUIT
Buck attempts suicide after the grocery store incident.
It has lasting effects.
💔🚑😭👨❤️👨
Series
- Part 3 of Lawsuit Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,921
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 375
- Kudos:
- 1,644
- Bookmarks:
- 342
- Hits:
- 38,800
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
20 Jul 2026
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Buck can hear raised voices. Chris looks stricken.
“She’s realised that I’m talking to you. Oh she’s really angry. Buck? Can you stick around. And put yourself on mute. I’m just gonna.”
Chris flips the camera so Buck can see the room instead of Chris’ face. Chris opens his bedroom door slightly and holds his phone to the gap. Eddie fills the screen. He’s in a black tank top, similar to the one he was wearing the day Buck met him. His hair is damp. His mouth is curled in irritation. He’s looking across the room, probably at Helena. It dawns on Buck that Eddie and Helena don’t know that Chris is watching, that he is watching.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
19 Jul 2026
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Eddie's head snapped up. One of the SWAT officers was pointing at a portable monitor set up near the command vehicle—a live feed from the news broadcast still streaming from inside the school. The camera was shaky, the angle awkward, but it showed a hallway.
And there—*there*—was Buck.
Eddie's breath caught in his throat. Buck was in the middle of the corridor, and he was fighting. Not running, not hiding—*fighting*. Hand-to-hand combat with one of the shooters, brutal and desperate. Buck's face was streaked with blood, his shirt torn, but he was moving with the fierce determination of someone protecting something precious.
The camera zoomed in slightly, and Eddie could see it now—the way Buck had positioned himself. The storage closet door visible behind him. The way every move Buck made was calculated to keep the shooter away from that door, to use his body as a barrier.
"The boys," Eddie said, his voice hollow with realisation. "They're in that closet. That's where he hid them. He's—" Eddie's voice broke. "He's protecting them."
Or Buck is taking the boys to Christopher’s science Fayre when a school shooting starts. We see how Buck fights to keep his boys safe and how Eddie rushes to save themBookmarked by GodessOfMischief
09 Jul 2026
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The 118 is confronted with violence on their own doorstep, leading Buck and Eddie to face their mortality--and their feelings for each other. Or, Eddie and Buck need to stop putting themselves in danger for each other and just admit how they feel.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
06 Jul 2026
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Buck and Eddie are caught up in a building collapse. Eddie has severe concussion, but Buck is absolutely fine. Right? All he has to do is keep Eddie awake till help gets to them.
So with Eddie confused and Buck concealing serious injury, what better time could there be to talk about their feelings for each other…
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Eddie shut off the radio. “Buck, you there?”
He heard a throaty laugh. “Where else I’m gonna be, Eddie?”
“Just checking. Bobby said 10 minutes. You sure you’re OK?”
“Worried about you, man. You sound a little out of it. Stay with me, Eds. Keep talking to me”.
“What do you want to talk about, babe?”
Buck was quiet for a beat.
“Well, we could start with why you just called me “babe”. What’s that about, Eddie?”
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Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
21 Jun 2026
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Post-tsunami, Buck wakes up in the field hospital after he finds Eddie and tells him Christopher is missing. He doesn’t remember that Christopher was found and is safe. All he remembers is the look of devastation on Eddie’s face. On the face of the man Buck is in secretly in love with. He can’t stand Eddie being in so much pain, so Buck drags himself back out into the chaos to look for Chris.
Eddie is having Chris checked out so they can get back to Buck and look after him. And so Eddie can thank the man he is secretly in love with for saving his son. But when they are able to get back to Buck, he’s gone.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
21 Jun 2026
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Buck suffers a concussion at work, and stays with Eddie to recuperate. The intimacy of Eddie’s care brings to a head the feelings Buck has been trying to hide since Eddie came out as gay.
When Buck’s recovery suffers a worrying setback, he finds out that maybe he isn’t the only one keeping important feelings to himself.
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“It’s Ok, Buck. I got you. You’re Ok.”
Eddie.
“I dimmed the light. You can try again if you want. But only if you want, and only when you’re ready.”
Buck took a long moment to make sense of that. Then, once he’d worked out Eddie had somehow made it less bright, he cautiously opened his eyes again.
Better. It was better.
This time, things were a little more in focus. He saw Eddie. Eddie’s beautiful face. Wait, he wasn’t allowed to think Eddie was beautiful. Or was he? No. He could think it. Not say it.
That was important.
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
20 Jun 2026
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Evan Buckley can only watch as Eddie Diaz, his best friend and the man he secretly loves, is shot in the street by a sniper's bullet. But Buck can save Eddie, pulling him to safety under a firetruck and keeping him alive till he gets to hospital. While Eddie lies unconscious in his hospital bed, Buck steps up to look after Christopher, to keep the rest of his team safe.
But Buck is struggling. Traumatised by the shooting, he finds it difficult to move forward. Buck was so close to Eddie when he was shot that he was covered in blood. On his face, on his clothes, in his hair. In his mouth. Now, everything he tries to eat or drink tastes of blood.
Eddie's blood.
How long can Buck keep going when he's struggling to eat and drink? How can he be the support Chris needs if he can't function?
And how long can he go on pretending he doesn't have feelings for his best friend, when he can't imagine being able to cope without him.
OR
Eddie gets shot and Buck struggles in the aftermath, his trauma stopping him eating or drinking till he's well past crisis point. And what will Eddie say when he returns to consciousness?
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
19 Jun 2026
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Buck collapses on scene from exhaustion and smoke inhalation. Hen and Chim work him while Bobby calls Eddie—not as a firefighter, but as Buck’s emergency contact. Confessions ensue......
Bookmarked by GodessOfMischief
18 Jun 2026