Governessaurus



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    “I felt…bad. It felt bad. I had missed you so much and then I finally saw you again and you -” Shane cut himself off. “I know you didn’t mean to,” he started again. “I know you weren’t trying to be… I don’t know. You didn’t mean to.”

    “I didn’t mean to what?” Ilya’s pulse quickened. Shane wouldn’t meet his eye.

    Shane took a deep breath. “You didn’t mean to hurt me.”

    Ilya felt the words like a sucker punch to the stomach. He swallowed hard, fighting to keep his voice level. “I hurt you?”
    ___________

    An offhand comment from Yuna triggers a conversation between Shane and Ilya about that night in Ilya's Vegas penthouse after the MLH awards. Ilya knew he had fucked up, but maybe not how much. Maybe now he can make up for it.

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    21 Mar 2026

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    the five times their teammate saw shane and ilya’s love in all its quiet, domestic perfection and the one time someone tried to come between them.

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    26 Jan 2026

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    “No,” he says, smiling gently, like he doesn't know how irritating he's being. “Is my room first, da? You should speak with front desk.”

    Hollander stares at him.

    And then he starts to laugh.

    You ask the front desk,” he shoots back, in between his odd wheezes. Ilya's heart starts to pound in double time, because this is not—this cannot be Shane Hollander playing bed chicken with him. Their competitiveness is fierce, to be certain, but surely, Hollander would be the bigger person, no? “This is my fucking room, Rozanov. Wild horses couldn't drag me away.”

    OR: Ilya's apartment is under construction. Shane's in town for a game. It'd be a shame if they somehow had the same hotel room.

    [or, or: we need some more goddamn 'there was only one bed' out here.]

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    12 Jan 2026

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    Ilya glances at Shane, at the way the dying light is catching in his hair, refracting. At that spiderlily mouth, slightly open and curling coyly, two teeth peeked through the dark gap like an American Girl doll. At that shoulder, bare and pale and close enough to touch if Ilya just leaned forward, if he just reached out and took another liberty.

    To touch another person is to say: I know you will die, and I am doing this anyway.

    His mother used to say something like this. About painting.

    Every portrait is an act of faith, Ilyushenka. Faith and futility both.

    contrary to personal preference, ilya gets a roommate.

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    11 Jan 2026

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    "What on earth is a jalopy?" Pez says, looking delighted and intrigued. "It sounds like some kind of jam tart."

    "It's just a term for a shitty car," Nora says helpfully, and Pez looks mildly put out for all of a millisecond before he perks up again.

    "Car trouble, eh? I know a chap."

    *

    Alex owns a bakery. Henry owns a garage. The twain sure shall meet.

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    13 Sep 2025