HopeInTheDarkness
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Hermione Granger left Wizarding Britain 23 years ago. She had no plans to ever return… Until a note warned her of certain happenings in England. Things that caused her to evaluate her initially iron clad refusal to ever step foot on the same soil as Ronald Billius Weasley again. Such incidents might have just created exceptions to Hermione’s self-enforced rules. One such exception might just present itself in the form of tiny 11-year-old Rhea Narcissa Malfoy.
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,351
- Kudos:
- 29,543
- Bookmarks:
- 11,722
- Hits:
- 1,753,377
Bookmarked by HopeInTheDarkness
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
Twenty years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the Malfoy family's association with Voldemort has made them social outcasts. Hermione has only seen Draco a handful of times since their school days, but he looks exhausted when she notices him in the lobby of a hotel during a charity gala. Days later, she still can't seem to forget about the way he looked that night. After hearing a rumor that he or his father might be seriously ill, she starts investigating in her free time. It leads to the discovery of a problem impacting former Death Eaters, and a coverup that seems to be coming from high up in the Ministry of Magic. Slow-burn romance with shameless flirting, a side of plot, and a cherry of smut on top. HEA guaranteed.
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In the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War, the wizarding world is struggling to rebuild, and so are its survivors. Hermione Granger has dedicated herself to healing the wounds left behind, leading groundbreaking research to undo the damage wrought by dark magic. But when a shadowy new threat emerges, she finds herself reluctantly paired with the last person she ever expected to trust—Draco Malfoy.
Now an Auror, Malfoy is determined to atone for his past, his icy composure masking years of guilt and regret. Tasked with protecting Hermione as she uncovers a dangerous conspiracy threatening everything they fought to protect, Draco must navigate a treacherous path between duty and redemption.
As secrets unravel and the stakes climb higher, Hermione and Draco are forced to confront not only their shared history but the unspoken connection growing between them. Caught in a web of intrigue, betrayal, and forbidden alliances, they must decide where their loyalties lie—and how far they’re willing to go to save a world still teetering on the edge of collapse.
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In the summers between school, a young Hermione Granger finds companionship in a mysterious young wizard near her family’s country home in Wiltshire. They share their troubles under the comfort of their respective anonymity until one fateful encounter destroys their fragile refuge from the real world.
Years later, after a war that devastated Wizarding Europe, Hermione’s one wish is to pursue higher education for her Potions Mastery. Only, one clause leftover from deeply entrenched Muggle-born prejudice sends Hermione into the grueling social season with one goal in mind; to marry the least terrible eligible wizard.
To her misfortune, a scandalous case of mistaken identity binds her future to a man who is certain to be the worst of all. Draco Malfoy; the new Duke of Wiltshire, a war hero, and the boy who broke her heart.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 81,350
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,066
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- 7,594
- Bookmarks:
- 3,168
- Hits:
- 254,846
Bookmarked by HopeInTheDarkness
19 Jul 2024
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"Her name is...Hermione," Lucius pronounces the name very carefully, watching Voldemort as if for some reaction. He has none to offer. "She's in my son's year. And she claims to be your daughter."
Crack!AU where Lord Voldemort thinks Hermione Granger is his daughter.
Series
- Part 2 of and several bad jokes later
- Part 2 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,757
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 765
- Kudos:
- 12,802
- Bookmarks:
- 3,463
- Hits:
- 142,460
Bookmarked by HopeInTheDarkness
08 Jul 2024