Howie4
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Tom Riddle wanted to cheat Death. Unfortunately for him, Death has their own opinions on the matter—and they’re not too happy about Riddle’s disrespect for their favorite animal, either. Time for everyone’s favorite omnipotent deity to teach him a lesson—and maybe gain a new Master, while they’re at it.
Now, the boy who wanted eternal life finds himself with nine of them—plus four paws, one very fluffy tail, zero magic and three Hallows to find if he ever wants to be a handsome human wizard again. And, wait, how is Harry Potter involved in all this?
Meanwhile, Crookshanks…Crookshanks has opposable thumbs, a wand, and the full resources of the Knights of Walpurgis at his disposal.
OR: The Tom and Crookshanks bodyswap crackfic literally no one asked for.
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- Words:
- 188,143
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 92
Bookmarked by Howie4
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
Welcome to one of the slowest Tomarry burns. 8 parts (excluding Plan F) projected finish year: end of 2027. Guaranteed at least 600,000 words.
Stick around if you want light-hearted moments, wholesome fluff, humor to borderline crack, and canon-accurate characterization.
This series features eight types of love: agape, storge, pragma, philia, philautia, ludus, mania, and eros in that order.
This series also features 7 different ways that Tom Riddle tries to achieve immortality and 7 different ways Harry Potter tries to travel back to the future.
- Words:
- 451,357
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 374
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Self-Destroying System by NagamoriSeiren
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 穿书自救指南 | Scumbag System (Cartoon)
10 Aug 2025
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【The system has been successfully activated. We have recorded your character, your role: Lou Binghe, disciple of the Qing Jing Peak of the Cang Qiong Mountain clan. Main character. Points: 100】
"What?" I blink at the floating thing, on which the words said before also appeared in writing. "What does this mean and what are you looking for in my head?" I demand answers.
【You have started the system. We have connected you to the character of Luo Binghe.】
"I am Lou Binghe you idiot." I growl.
Or what will happen if, after Luo Binghe-ge's death, he enters the world of the novel well-known to fans and gets a system for himself. For simplicity's sake: Everything goes like in Scumbag Villains Self-Saving System, only Luo Binghe is also aware of everything that our beloved original protagonist is and he also has an annoyingly useless system. The story is in first person, but trust me it's needed. Also the main part of the story will begin in the fourth chapter.
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“Harry Potter.”
The cold burrowed into his flesh; the scent of cloying death and molding earth clogged his senses.
“The Boy Who Lived.”
A strange sense of unimaginable loss and disappointment rose inside of Harry. That brilliant, yet cruel boy could’ve been so much more if he’d not stepped down this bloodied path.
Terrible, but great. He pitied this creature.
“Come to die.”
Harry Potter faced the flash of green light with the bravery of a Gryffindor and the broken heart of a Hufflepuff.
When Death gives Harry a third option, one that can save everyone he ever cared about, he takes it unflinchingly. Even when that means doing the impossible: falling in love with the enemy, Tom Riddle.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 361,797
- Chapters:
- 59/125
- Comments:
- 12,270
- Kudos:
- 29,589
- Bookmarks:
- 8,859
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- 1,015,127
Bookmarked by Howie4
12 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Uhhhhh read when I have TONNS of time + more updates 😅 apparently rlly good