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[Podfic] The Microphone Malfunction by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
17 Oct 2021
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Summary
Aziraphale is incredibly nervous about interviewing famous actor Anthony Crowley, becoming even more flustered when his microphone cuts out during the interview and Crowley tries to fix it.
Series
- Part 1 of [Podfic] Interviews
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[Podfic] like you've never known fear by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
10 Oct 2021
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Summary
Annoying philosophical concepts. A bottle of 250 year old wine. A demon who doesn't want to talk about what he saw in Heaven.
There's no going back. -
[Podfic] The Longest Night Bonus by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
09 Oct 2021
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Summary
A collection of bloopers, rants and a chat about the Longest Night series, and the making of the podfic.
Series
- Part 7 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] Time to Leave the Garden by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
09 Oct 2021
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Summary
After a long night of planning and practicing to escape the judgment of Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley prepare to leave Crowley's flat on the morning after the cancelled Apocalypse.
Although it's understandable if Crowley's not in any hurry to let the night end.
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"What have you done with my trousers, you impossible thing?"
The evidence around the room suggested they'd taken off only a few items of clothing before Crowley had run out of patience and snapped his fingers, with an impulse that went something like "Trousers off NOW and pants too thankyouverymuch and also the sodding SOCKS and there's sock garters as well are you fucking kidding me angel BEGONE THE LOT OF YOU"
Much could go wrong with a miracle that haphazard. In his defense, he'd been distracted at the time.
"I think they're, um...elsewhere," said Crowley.
Aziraphale tutted at him reproachfully.
"Sorry, angel."
"I had those made-to-measure in 1952," Aziraphale muttered. "I was rather fond of them."
Crowley sniffed. "Not to split hairs, but that pair was actually only a few hours old."Series
- Part 6 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] What We're Good At by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
06 Oct 2021
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Summary
That night at Crowley's flat, continued. Crowley and Aziraphale have solved Agnes' riddle, practiced swapping forms, and talked all night. Aziraphale ponders what Crowley means to his story.
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In one motion Aziraphale picked him up, easy as scruffing a kitten. A belligerent, unwieldy kitten with terribly long legs wrapped around his waist. A kitten with a multilingual swearing vocabulary being put to good use.
"You do not fight fair! You unmitigated eternal bastard! Put me down you preposterous -"
Aziraphale obligingly dropped both arms, but Crowley clung to his torso like a flustered tarsier.
"I didn't mean - don't **drop** me, you great lummox, you're supposed to -"
"I'm supposed to?" laughed Aziraphale. "Supposed to what, serpent?"Series
- Part 5 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] A Simple Plan and a Cappuccino by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
03 Oct 2021
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Summary
“The thing is, I don’t really wanna be with a fat old guy.”
Crowley wishes he was the type of person who still read newspapers, so he could be hiding behind one right now. His sunglasses do a piss-poor job of hiding his expression at the best of times, and this is most decidedly not a best of times.
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When Crowley (and the rest of the cafe) overhears Aziraphale being dumped brutally, he takes it upon himself to track the other man down. Just in the name of solidarity, see. It's not because Crowley's been in love with Aziraphale since the first time he saw him.
That would be ridiculous. -
[Podfic] Fake Snakeskin Boots by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
02 Oct 2021
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Summary
Armageddn't is over, and Heaven and Hell are surely coming for them in the morning. So tonight is for stories, laughs, confessions and the best of Crowley's liquor cabinet. He only hopes he can keep the angel happy til it's all over.
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"So you chose to save me and my books, but not your dignity apparently, because you hate footwear that much?"
"Yeaaaap, I'm a shoe truther, me. Shoes. Are. Terrible," Crowley drawled. He grinned and flexed his outstretched feet, shifting between a few of his favorite looks before leaving them bare and a bit scaly.
"You can't have always faked your shoes? All of them?"
"Had to fake my feet for the whole sandal era anyway, humans got tetchy about it. Thousands of years of that. No bloody point tying your ankles up in cowhide when you have to miracle your toes anyhow, it's sort of two for one, so." The demon shrugged expressively.
Aziraphale's eyes narrowed. "Crowley. Did you fake it during the Louboutin trials?"
"Augh! Ffffff -- 'specially during the Louboutin -- look here, angel."Series
- Part 4 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] You can stay at my place, if you like by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
29 Sep 2021
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Summary
The Mayfair flat might be safe on the night of the Aflopalypse, or it might not. Beelzebub & Hastur have a grudge and an army and they know where Crowley lives, so caution may be in order? Especially since the door to the penthouse is standing ajar when our exhausted body swapped heroes get home from Tadfield.
"So you're saying you're going in alone. In my body. To my flat. Where you've never been."
Aziraphale nodded.
"Maybe we should just go to a hotel?"
Aziraphale saw two roads diverging: a night of brooding anxious melancholy and...the kind of night he preferred. He rallied. "And miss my chance to spy in your washroom cupboard? Never. I'm going in."
"Oi!"
"I'm going to try on all your clothing and give you a manicure and take a nap. You'll have to sit here and wonder for hours."
"Angel!" The word had no sibilants but Crowley could still broadcast a hiss somehow.
"You'll pace my feet to pieces while I pilfer your wine cellar alone."
"You can fuck right off." Crowley gave him a sound swat on the arm. "See I'd never do that to you, but I can do it to me."
"Is that the face I make when you wind me up? No wonder it's such fun for you."Series
- Part 3 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] The Bench by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
26 Sep 2021
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Summary
In which Anthony J. Crowley is a gym instructor and Zira Fell breaks a sweat.
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[Podfic] Sauntering Vaguely Upward by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
25 Sep 2021
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Summary
Solving Agnes's riddle was easy. Swapping corporations was a cinch, in fact they tried it as soon as they arrived at the Mayfair.
But a soldiering angel and a demon with snake eyes have a devil of a time managing their first few steps in the wrong bodies. This story is mostly real-time dialogue and Crowley's POV through the first hour or so of the body swap.
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Crowley staggered into the door of the lift with a hollow boom.
"Owowowow! Shitshitssssshit. Stop this thing!"
Covering his eyes with one hand he mashed at the buttons with the other, lighting up floors 5, 7 and 9.
Aziraphale reached to steady him but misjudged distance and inertia badly. He lurched and windmilled, and as one leg buckled under the other he spiraled inelegantly to the floor. "Oh. My. Well."
"Oh we are so not prepared for this," seethed Crowley in a low growl. He fumbled blindly for more buttons, any buttons.
"Are you hurt dear boy?"
"No angel, eyes. Blessed **eyes!** Djyou go thump, I can't see."
"Ah. Yes. Mm. Legs."
"'S wrong with my legs?!"
"Nothing, there's just rather a lot of them and they're. Mm. Miscalibrated."Series
- Part 2 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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[Podfic] Recounting the Deeds of the Day by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
22 Sep 2021
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Summary
The bus ride back to London was utterly silent. But only for the first seven minutes. Crowley and Aziraphale have a lot to catch up on by the time they get to Mayfair.
"Do you think I'm unaccustomed to you being **wrong,** angel?" grinned Crowley broadly. "I mean you have this whole dance you do, I know the steps by heart."
Aziraphale frowned, jerked abruptly out of his wallow. "Pardon."
"First you act horrified," Crowley explained as if it were the water cycle, "then there's the bit where you justify and explain things sanctimoniously. After that you disavow me and pretend we don't know each other. Then evidence mounts 'til you snap, and finally you turn up again and act like you agreed with me all along. Wossat, five parts? The five stages of Aziraphale Coming Round."
Aziraphale blanched, feeling a little too Seen. It had been shaping up to be such a nice apology too.
..................
"Oh, I didn't burn up," Aziraphale corrected breezily.
"Then how the everlasting fuck were you discorporated!?"
Aziraphale froze as the realization hit. "Oh Crowley, you'll never believe it, I was --" the angel's entire body began to shake, breath stopped.Series
- Part 1 of [Podfic] The Longest Night
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Under Cover by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
20 Sep 2021
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Summary
For the prompt "umbrellas and other sheltering devices"
Series
- Part 4 of OLHTS Crack
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[Podfic] The Infernal Bodyguard by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), The Bodyguard (1992)
18 Sep 2021
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Summary
Alistair Zira Fell is a popular author. Loved by everyone he meets. Well, almost everyone. Someone is trying to hurt him, and right now, he needs a bodyguard.
Anthony J. Crowley is the best, although he doesn't work with celebrities. He has three rules. He never gets too close, never stays once the job is done, and Never Gets Involved.
But this isn't a thriller. This, is a love story.Series
- Part 1 of [Podfic] The Infernal Bodyguard
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[Podfic] The Infernal Bodyguard Bonus by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), The Bodyguard (1992)
18 Sep 2021
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Summary
A collection of bloopers, rants and a chat about the Infernal Bodyguars series, and the making of the podfic.
Series
- Part 2 of [Podfic] The Infernal Bodyguard
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[Podfic] Under sun and shade alike by Literarion for green_grin
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
14 Sep 2021
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Summary
The impending summer is an excited whisper among leaves in the apple trees, the sweet scent of their bloom lingering in the air. Amid a rather overgrown patch of especially verdant trees is a shed of some sort, bleached from the elements, apparently not in use by anyone except the two entities having an intimate moment against it.
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Summary
Crowley wants snakey contact lenses to finish off his costume for the Halloween party he's going to at the weekend, but is frustrated to learn he'll have to undergo an eye health check and practise putting them in and taking them out before he'll be allowed to buy them. That frustration vanishes when Crowley meets Aziraphale, the ridiculously attractive optician who is going to be helping him.
Series
- Part 3 of [Podfic] Opticians
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[Podfic] Worth Waking For by Literarion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
10 Sep 2021
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Summary
Crowley spends some time admiring the perfection that is Aziraphale sleeping in bed next to him.
...and discovers masturbation. -
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Summary
A collection of bloopers, rants and a bit of a chat about the Divine Intervention series and the making of the podfics.
Series
- Part 6 of [Podfic] Divine Intervention
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Summary
Anthony Crowley is a fine thing, and though Aziraphale has been allowed to possess many fine things in his life, it's a slippery downward skid along the slope bridging gratitude to greed.
Series
- Part 5 of [Podfic] Divine Intervention
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Summary
Aziraphale prays over his morning coffee.
Eyes clamped shut, neck craning towards the ceiling.
"All this I receive as a blessing from You."Series
- Part 4 of [Podfic] Divine Intervention