14 Works by MalaScientia
Listing Works
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Summary
Draco invites Hermione to sit on his lap and things get a little messy.
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Rolled Sleeves Agenda: ‘nuf said.
Or: Draco rolls up his sleeves and Hermione cannot deal. Sexual shenanigans ensue.
Now with my own fanart at the end!
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Hermione needs to refuel for round 2 (or 3 or 4).
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Reheated Rivalry by MalaScientia for subtlesuttle
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Heated Rivalry (TV)
08 Feb 2026
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Draco comes home to find Hermione and Theo watching what appears at first to be a quite questionable television show. After very little urging on their part, Draco agrees to watch it with them.
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A birthday ficlet for one of the best gifts fandom has given me ❤️ -
Down and Dirty in the Greenhouse by MalaScientia for chaosbarbie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Dec 2025
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“Perhaps you’d benefit from some time in the greenhouse to clear your head.”
Ginny pondered his suggestion for a moment. Her mum had always touted the therapeutic effect of gardening, but she had assumed it was more of a pretense to have her children help out around the Burrow.
“I think I’d like that, Neville. I’m fairly free whenever.”
“Perfect. What do you say we go and get dirty right now?”
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Neville offers Ginny some therapeutic release in the greenhouse.Spoiler: It's actually fucking.
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She thrust the book beneath his chin. “Right here. It says–”
Draco scanned the text and read aloud, “‘–si nefas prosapiam prenderit, exsolvetur semine sanguineque.’ If a sin should seize the lineage, it will be delivered by seed and blood…” He turned to face her, his face troubled. “Hermione, are you sure you want to try this?”
Her eyes burned with fury and determination as she replied, “I will not let this curse take my family from me.”
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The Malfoy family line is filled with arcane knowledge and closely guarded secrets...including the sordid origins of the family's nearly limitless power.
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Eleven years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione Granger finds herself returning to the castle--this time as the Potions professor. She has earned a Mastery in Potions as well as a degree in Chemistry from muggle uni, and intends to provide her students with an integrated curriculum that combines the two.
The Hogwarts Board of Governors, unfortunately, still maintains its 'traditional' approach of passing on seats within Pureblood families. Draco Malfoy now holds his father's seat, but lacks Lucius's disdain for all things progressive. He, along with most of the board, is willing to bring wizarding education into modern times; however, not all of the governors share that goal. When word gets out after the first day of classes that Hermione has added a muggle Chemistry textbook to the Potions requirements and that she doesn't wear wizarding robes to teach, the Board receives angry letters from traditional parents demanding they act.
Draco, as the only one on the Board familiar with both subjects, is nominated to sit in on all of Hermione's classes. Needless to say, she doesn't take kindly to being babysat by Draco Malfoy, of all people.
N.B. this work is not abandoned; I have started writing on it again! -
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There it sat, unoccupied and innocuous. No one had said it was off-limits, but there was something vaguely threatening about the device. It emitted an unnatural glow and there seemed to be a strange sound coming from its general vicinity.
“I’m going to do it,” Theo announced, eyeing up the empty desk. From beside him came an incredulous scoff.
“Sure you will,” Draco intoned, raising his brow in challenge.
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If you've never before considered how many names of birds could otherwise lead to porn, consider this crack fic an edifying experience.
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For Hermione's birthday, all she wants is a chance to treat herself without any guilt or concern for what others may think. After an international Portkey to Bulgaria, she finally indulges in her greatest fantasy with an old friend, who doesn't disappoint.
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Hermione is unimpressed by the start of 8th year. When a mysterious love letter finds its way amongst her things, she can't resist the allure of discovering the letter's origins and intended recipient. With a level of dedication to nosiness that Harry would be proud of, she investigates her fellow students, determined to find the author of the beautifully written words she can't stop thinking about.
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Her strength and determination had always seemed unshakeable to him. Her fierceness shone through her like the sun blazing over the surface of the Black Lake. He had placed his faith in her intelligence and fortitude, knowing she would carry Potter through to the culmination of all that had been foretold. The dazzling fury in her eyes during the final battle challenged anyone who stood in her path; she was terrifying and glorious.
The fractured woman across from him in her stead was a stranger, yet somehow felt familiar. Perhaps it was the echoes of his own damaged reality over the last two years that he saw when he looked at her now. He intimately knew the weight of suffering without a clear end in sight; he had carried the burden of untouchable grief for the childhood he would never experience. As he had many times before, he pondered and puzzled over the enigma that was Hermione Granger.
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Draco Malfoy has returned for Eighth Year along with some of his friends, and Hermione Granger. He had once thought he'd confess his feelings for her once the war ended, but the fucked up events at the Manor destroyed that dream. He'll just watch and pine for her, knowing he doesn't stand a chance. -
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I jokingly told my beta: "Hello, here is my smutty crack fic wherein Draco and Hermione are parents who just wanna finish fucking."
So, that's the summary. Whether you're a parent or not, you'll delight in their frustration and hopefully feel satisfied at the end, too.
But--if you're a parent, you'll feel so seen and hopefully laugh at their difficulties. Possibly inspired by real events...
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Draco and Hermione share an office at the Ministry, but they're more than just co-workers. When they have a sneaky tryst in the archives, Draco needs Hermione to be a good girl who will be quiet for him. Of course she's going to try her best to behave.
A smutty little one-shot just because :)
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Straight, white, perfect teeth. She wanted to run her tongue along every one of them. His head was thrown back in laughter as he clapped Theo on the shoulder. He turned and grinned at Blaise before rededicating himself to the board at the front of the room.
He reached down into his bag and brought forth an immaculate quill, unstained with bits of ink and unruffled from haphazard efforts to pack up at the last minute, not like the one she was currently nibbling on as she stared at him. She watched his long, elegant fingers as they gently wrapped themselves around the end of the quill, poised to take notes as Professor Slughorn began his lecture. She considered how deeply his fingers might reach inside her—
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When Hermione returned to Hogwarts for her eighth year, she expected to focus on her schoolwork, get her NEWTs, and get on with life. Instead, she finds herself fantasizing about a certain blond Slytherin in every class they share.What she doesn't realize is that her thoughts have been accidentally broadcast directly to Draco Malfoy himself, an unpracticed Legilimens, who is quite surprised at the snippets he picks up.