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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The live-in babysitter was nice; the kids had yet to figure out how to ‘yeet’ Qui Gon and Mace into the timeless shadow plane between life and death (he really hoped Mrs. Duckworth’s insurance covered a very good therapist) which let Obi Wan breathe a little easier when he was leaving for work knowing that at least if his children unleashed a multi-dimensional hellbeast it would eat Qui Gon’s sofa and not his.

    It had been his, though. A lifetime ago. Two, actually. Two very small, child sized lifetimes ago the mansion had been his home; he’d been happy there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,861
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    88
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Some Quick Facts About The Entity Of Death

    I don’t like to be called an ‘entity’. Mrs. is fine.
    There is really nothing to be afraid of. I do not bite.
    I am always watching.
    One day I will come for you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    986
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    53
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "If you want me to stop calling you a puppy," the woman in question drawled when Joey's stunned silence had carried on just a smidge too long, "you should maybe pull your tongue back into your mouth."

    The clack of the blonde's teeth was audible and the heat of her cheeks could have seared a steak, but she still couldn't stop her helpless smile.

    "Eh," she shrugged, pushing herself up onto her elbows lazily, "after so long I gotta say it's kinda grown on me, Money Bags."

    Kaiba sighed, that over dramatic huff of air that meant she was actually valiantly pushing down a laugh, "You're going to be the death of me," she said, crossing the room in several long strides so she could tower over her girlfriend properly.

    "But what a way to go," Joey sighed back, and who would ever have thought she'd end up here?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,869
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    412
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Option three: the least likely and the one that he most hoped for, meant that there were two beautiful, small town blondes appropriating his furniture and eating all of his food. Unfortunately, their mission to East City had run longer than expected and there would be no metal limbs colliding with Roy’s shin in the middle of the night or cigarette smoke fluttering out of his kitchen window for at least another three days.

    And that was if the local law enforcement cooperated.

    Local law enforcement never cooperated. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,148
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1,101
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh my God, you really are this stupid." The handle of a paintbrush smacked roughly into Roy's shoulder, leaving what was going to be a sizable bruise and a streak of --

    "Yellow paint?" Roy rubbed the pigment between two fingers curiously; he should probably move from the metal chair near the metal door leading to apparently hell at some point, "Like the ammo boxes," he realized, "and the signs."

    "Finally, he catches on," Elric rolled shockingly bright eyes and settled his mouth into a frown, "Surprise, asshole! I've been on your side the whole time!"

    "You stabbed me," Roy pointed out.

    "A little light stabbing here and there builds character. And besides, no use dwelling on the past." A large tumbler of shockingly good scotch was pressed into Roy's undamaged hand, "Gotta focus on the present. And presently we need to do a little freelance murder."

     

    royed week day one: Crossover (Compromise)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,848
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    820
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Ed snorted, “What? Like a fuckin’ werewolf?” He’d expected a round of polite chuckling followed by literally any logical explanation.

    Of course, the universe in it’s Fuck Edward Elric campaign, didn’t deliver.

    “Exactly like a werewolf,” Mustang said, and the quiet confidence in his voice made Ed want to believe him, even if he was speaking nonsense.

    “Werewolves don’t exist, bastard,” Ed argued.

    Mustang shared a look with Knox; long suffering and maddeningly amused, “Is that so? Well, it looks like the werewolves didn’t get the memo.” The amusement dropped, “However, werewolves shouldn’t exist inside of Central. That violates The Accords. And attacking a human? That could start a war--”

    “I’m fucking sorry,” Ed interrupted, not sorry in the slightest, “but what the fuck are you talking about?”

    Knox’s eyes rolled towards the ceiling, “Aw, hell,” he said, with feeling.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,455
    Chapters:
    4/10
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    2,765
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Blink and you’ll miss it!” had been a personal favorite of Maes since Elicia was born. He’d lament it, draped across Roy’s desk like an exceptionally talkative throw blanket rather than a grown ass adult with a department to run and a coup to plan.

    Roy, who had spent every moment that he could remember grasping frantically at straws to make things better -- for himself, for his aunt, for his sisters, for everyone-- couldn’t quite fathom the phrase and just assumed that the sleep deprivation associated with a newborn had finally ripped what was left of Maes sanity from his skull and driven him completely mad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,462
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    350
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    1,969
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Hogwarts needed an alchemy teacher; Amestris needed an ally.

    "Cool it, Elric.
    Count to ten.
    Blame the bastard for all of your problems. 
    Put the fear of Truth in these children."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,725
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    445
    Kudos:
    3,140
    Bookmarks:
    858
    Hits:
    75,964
  9. Tags
    Summary

    There was static inside of Edward's head -- he couldn't think.
    It was this place, it had to be. There was something wrong with it; something sick and twisted. It was seeping into their pores, curling around their ribs and staining their lungs.

    Across the world, on the other side of The Pale City, the Thin Man watched. There were eyes everywhere, of course. Whether he wanted them to be or not. It was curious, he thought, he couldn't remember if one of them had been blonde before, he didn't think they had been. But he also knew somewhere deep beneath the static that flickered across his skin like the remnant of a warm touch, that he'd seen that shade of gold before.

    There was something strange about This time. He couldn't see the Before. He could always see The Before. It's what he did; he sat, and he waited, and he watched.

    After all, this had all happened before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,198
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    764
  10. Tags
    Summary

    There were worse places to end up, Winry supposed; at the very least when the interdimensional portal of unknown origin swallowed the Elrics, she and Mustang had also gotten caught in the crossfire. 

    Mustang, she could take or leave most days, but if she had to put up with him to not be separated from Edward and Alphonse for the six hundredth time then fine, consider him tolerated. 

    And Naboo was a beautiful planet, alternating between sprawling cities set into cliff sides and lush, green fields, bracketed by crystal clear water and the occasional swamp land inhabited by the Gungans -- which Winry was still trying to wrap her head around. After having her soul ripped out by the homunculus running Amestris and finding out her best friends’ father was a 400 year old myth, aliens and intergalactic travel should really be nothing special but she was only human, okay? And it was a lot for a random Tuesday. 

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,664
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    807
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Al wasn’t with Ed the night that Colonel Hawkeye told him about her time in Ishval, how she came to join the military, and Roy’s aspirations to become fuhrer, but he’d heard about it enough to form a pretty solid picture in his mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,163
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    720
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "It's called diplomacy, Alphonse," Mustang had returned and Alys straightened in her chair, wondering how much he'd heard before he announced himself, "and we have a good amount for it in the budget. Mostly because your brother wouldn't stop blowing things up," there was something in his voice that Alys recognized very clearly.

    Longing.

    She wondered if Alphonse knew that the general was in love with his older brother; either way, it wasn't her place to let that particular cat out of the sack.

    (In which a portal mishap; the collusion of magic, alchemy, and rocket science; her beautiful idiot of a brother; and some asshole named after a horse give Alys Pankratz a migraine)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,789
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    776
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When Lewis Carroll had talked about falling down the rabbit hole, he sure as fuck didn’t mention how much the landing could hurt if there wasn’t a magic buffer on the end to catch your dumb ass.

     

     

    (A Feed The Flame prequel)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,384
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5,439
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A string of seemingly unconnected murders in the heart of Central all share the same signature -- nine bodies deep and Roy Mustang's unit gets assigned help from the supposedly nonexistent Laboratory Five in the form of a homunculus.
    Agent Seven, or Envy as they prefer to be called, is decidedly not what they were expecting.

    "Ed wasn’t sure what he was expecting; he’d had to sign a forty six page waiver to even be allowed in the same room as the person behind the glass. Agent Seven of The Homunculus Project.

    According to the briefing, he was staring at the most volatile and dangerous being in existence.

    To Ed, they just looked sad. Grief stricken.

    Lonely.

    There was something in the wane paleness of their face and the bruising under their violet eyes that he could relate with, somewhere deep beneath his ribs. A gaping, monolithic longing; like they were reaching out for something dangled just out of their reach.

    Something that they craved more than anything." "

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,582
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    934
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Something cool and dry brushed against the back of Richie’s hand -- it took him a moment to realize that something was Eddie’s fingers, “It’s a little strange for me as well. Obviously, not in the same way. But I do hope you’ll be… happy? Here. Eventually.”

    Well, fuck. That was. Surprisingly candid and earnest. Especially for someone with such a giant fucking upper hand in the game.

    And what, the actual goddamn hell, was Richie supposed to say back to that? The truth? That no one could be truly happy in a cage? That he was actively planning to take down the very institution that made their arrangement possible and, hey, maybe even kill Eddie in the process?

    “So do I,” he settled on, still refusing to look Eddie in the eye.

    (The Vampire AU No One Fucking Asked For)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,037
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    608
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Then he stood and, because James had specifically asked him to be pleasant, held out a hand. “Sirius,” he said simply.

    “Like the constellation?”

    “Like the person standing in front of you waiting for a handshake,” the scientist said pointedly. “I’m supposed to show you around.”
    There was a second of silence and Sirius frowned. “Did you just nod?” He asked as he very pointedly (there was a land called Passive Agressiva and he was their king) unfolded his cane.

    You’d think there would have been a better alternative to a cane but, no. Sirius found his way around using a stick like it was 1873.

    “… You’re blind?”

    Sirius started walking, cane stretched out in front of him, “No, I just like the sound it makes when I hit things with it."

     

    In which Sirius is a cranky blind scientist and Remus is a pilot just trying his damn best to not be charmed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,491
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,371
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "stucky and jealousy?"

    Steve hadn’t known about Natasha’s time in the Red Room, nor Bucky’s part in all of that. Not until he returned from Vormir, soaking wet but victorious, sans one infinity stone and plus one beloved soul. 

    Bucky had taken one look at Natasha, soaking wet, bloodied and bruised but so very clearly alive, and he’d lunged forward, scooping her off of the ground like she weighed nothing at all, and it was then that Steve Rogers realized he had missed something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    943
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,660
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "Stucky prompt, if you’re still taking prompts. Just them wandering around in the cold weather and getting hot chocolate at the end?"

    Christ, you could basically count his abs through his coat. All 32 of them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    370
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The Man, The Target, looked gutted. His every emotion swirling behind crystal eyes that had never been good at closing their gates.

    With a trembling hand, he curled his fingers around The Soldier’s mask, ripping it free. The Soldier let him. The Soldier shouldn’t have let him. The Soldier was going to be punished. Wiped. Sent back into the ice.

    But.

    But the sun warm breeze of spring blew past, sent the overlong strands of his hair dancing across his face. He wanted to close his eyes and bask in it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,281
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Not necessarily chronological slices of life in Hawkins post-Mind Flayer

    Most recent:

    Steve swore up and down that he didn’t pick favorites, he hated all of his little twerps equally (now get off of the cruiser, it’s not a jungle gym, you brats!)

    But he didn’t go out of his way for the other’s the way he did for Max.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,000
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    267
    Kudos:
    2,272
    Bookmarks:
    435
    Hits:
    24,099

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