1 - 20 of 27 Bookmarks by Melcholeric
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"So my mama was wrong. The way to a man's heart isn't just through his stomach- it's through his laundry basket as well."
(s6e3 missing scene- wilson takes house up on that offer for a nooner.)
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- Words:
- 35,127
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 42
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
10 Sep 2026
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it's late in the night (please don't call the cab home) by PewDiePie for Whiskeyrose1
Fandoms: House M.D.
15 Nov 2023
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Summary
House had a pretty rough day and he was looking forward to some time alone to unwind.
And by unwind, he means he'd pop a couple of Vicodin, maybe have a drink or two, and then he'd jerk off to the porno he rented the other day before collapsing into bed to pass out for a few hours before the pain in his leg spikes and inevitably wakes him up. Now he technically could do those things with Wilson still here, but it might get a little weird when it gets to the part where House's hand is down his own pants and there's porn playing on the TV.
Series
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
10 Sep 2026
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A sleep-deprived House and his minions make mistletoe mayhem across the snowed-in hospital.
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
09 Sep 2026
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Summary
"You don't notice how House treats you lately?", Cuddy asked. "The touching? The pet names? Adjusting your tie during the board meeting the other day? Referring to you as his hubby in front of that homophobic lady?"
"Oh, god", Wilson mumbled. "Please tell me that not everyone is a talking about this. Once again, we're –"
"I know that you are", Cuddy finger-quoted, "not gay. But either House is up to something and dialling up this PDA is part of a bigger plan. One that you and I will have to clean up after once it blows up in his face."
"Or?", Wilson asked.
Cuddy gave him a last, amused look. "Or he's actually into you."
***
In which House turns affectionate, Wilson suspects a prank, and both are emotionally inept idiots.
Includes: L Word marathons, fake Valentine's Day letters and oblivious mutual pining.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,329
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 185
- Kudos:
- 1,052
- Bookmarks:
- 133
- Hits:
- 11,688
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
08 Sep 2026
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Summary
House and Wilson pretend to date in the name of classic workplace betting, until House realizes he actually likes it.
Fic ends at chapter 6, all following chapters are fanart dumps.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,150
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 1,163
- Bookmarks:
- 170
- Hits:
- 14,652
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
07 Sep 2026
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Summary
"There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends, and there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function." (2.04)
or, Wilson gets involved in a situation he never expected to find himself in but, as the good, blundering creature that he is, he will people-please his way into his new life as a father. The only problem is, as always, House.
Series
- Part 1 of Hilson Accidental Fatherhood Shenanigans
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,139
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 172
- Kudos:
- 1,999
- Bookmarks:
- 321
- Hits:
- 23,775
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
06 Sep 2026
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Summary
“Wilson!” he calls, willing to concede if only to understand what the hell is going on. “You can stop now! You win!”
“Hm?” Wilson reappears in the doorway, knotting some hideously patterned tie. “If this is about the poker game I know you cheated on—”
“This prank,” House says, gesturing all around the apartment. “You got me, you don’t have to—”
But in the action of waving his hand around, his gaze catches on a shiny glint on his finger. He blinks at it. Once, twice. It can’t be.
He’s wearing a wedding ring.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Wilson place his hands on his hips, roll his eyes. There’s a similar band on his left hand, fourth finger—the designated marriage finger. The sight is not unfamiliar to House, what with Wilson’s endless stream of wives, but House has never seen a matching ring on his own hand. Certainly not one that matches Wilson’s.
~
Or, where House wakes up in an alternate universe where he and Wilson are married.
Series
- Part 1 of The Multiverse of Houses
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,183
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 638
- Kudos:
- 2,470
- Bookmarks:
- 426
- Hits:
- 27,188
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
06 Sep 2026
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Summary
House is no stranger to Wilson’s savior complex, his debilitating need to care and care and care until there’s nothing left to take. He bled his wives dry, taking their need from them until they had nothing else for him, but House… House has never stopped needing Wilson, not in the twelve years they’ve been together. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop needing Wilson, and Wilson won’t ever stop needing to be needed by him. Perfectly mutually assured gratification.
When House comes down with a sudden illness, it’s Wilson’s turn to play doctor—and while House is a lousy patient, Wilson rises to the challenge in more ways than one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,078
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 165
- Kudos:
- 930
- Bookmarks:
- 155
- Hits:
- 10,014
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
25 Aug 2026
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Summary
The classic crew plays strip poker.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,111
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 121
- Kudos:
- 1,430
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 17,047
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
23 Aug 2026
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Summary
Wilson stays with House after his marriage falls apart. But can you guess what happens next? There’s only one bed!!!
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
23 Aug 2026
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Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 for Alecto
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
20 Mar 2013
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Summary
When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,833
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,776
- Kudos:
- 8,385
- Bookmarks:
- 2,640
- Hits:
- 179,778
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
23 Aug 2026
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A Frank Discussion on the Subject of Anal Sex between Men, Hobbits, an Elf, and a Dwarf by Cirrostratus (Lenticular), DoubtingRabbit
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
20 Jan 2023
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Summary
"Fibber Featherbottom is who you are!" Pippin slapped both palms on the table. "There's no way that would work!"
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
22 Aug 2026
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The Days Were Made For Running (And The Nights Were Made For Love) by Eastmava
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
11 May 2019
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Summary
'Surely if ever there was a time to tell Gimli it was then, flush with an impossible victory.
Except he had said nothing, for there was ever more to do and never time, never time to pull Gimli aside and taste the mouth hidden beneath the fall of his moustache, to fit his slim, Eleven hands into ones coarse with callouses from the handle of an axe, to tell Gimli that every song Legolas sang, every smile and laugh and every step forward he had taken since their path darkened was bolstered only by Gimli at his side, to speak to him of Elvish courting rituals and run his fingers through Gimli’s russet hair and ask if he would allow Legolas to twist an Elvish braid in it, something to mark to all the world, even if only his Elven eyes would understand, that Gimli was tied to him.
To ask Gimli to teach him all the impossible ways their bodies might fit together.'
The night before the Battle of the Black Gate, and several days after.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,830
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 244
- Kudos:
- 4,800
- Bookmarks:
- 1,189
- Hits:
- 48,677
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
15 Aug 2026
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to dungeons deep and caverns old by enbyofdionysus
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
18 May 2024
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Summary
“Gandalf,” the dwarf king says in greeting. “Putting more hobbits in danger, I see.”
The Fellowship heads for Erebor rather than Moria where Frodo meets Thorin Oakenshield and seeks his advice.
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
15 Aug 2026
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Sansûkh by determamfidd
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
30 Jun 2021
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Summary
From a Hobbitkink prompt:
The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.
The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.
(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).
(Bagginshield, Gimli/Legolas) In which recovery takes time, the dead members of the Company take to watching Gimli as though he’s a soap opera, the living struggle with being left behind, Legolas is confused, Khuzdul is abused, and Thorin is four feet and ten inches of guilt and anger.
~**~
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 577,879
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 11,057
- Kudos:
- 25,538
- Bookmarks:
- 9,810
- Hits:
- 1,490,489
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
13 Aug 2026
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Bran' New Suit by pibroch (littleblackdog)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
21 Dec 2012
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Summary
Andrew's description had been sufficient to recognize him— a riot of honey brown curls, short in stature, a well-favoured face with expressive features— but it hadn't quite been enough to prepare Tom for the sharp, almost painful tug in his gut at the sight of the man.
They had never met before, to the best of Tom's recollection, but there was something eerily and inexplicably familiar about him all the same.Series
- Part 1 of Oakenshield Press
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
23 Jul 2026
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Summary
Written in response to a prompt by thotinshield on Tumblr:
"my brain is filled with au where thorin is considered unattractive by dwarven standards, bilbo thinks hes handsome, and is pining after him, but thorin is in the classic situation of having to get married and dealing with lots of suitors and theres a bit in there about bilbo hearing some of the dwarrowdams gossiping about how thorin is "ugly" and bilbo being like WHAT"
Erebor needs a queen, and Thorin is set to marry a dwarrowdam to be his consort. No matter how much it breaks his heart, Bilbo takes it upon himself to ensure Thorin only receives the best and decides to scope out the candidates. Everything goes well, and he finds one that looks promising, until he uncovers a rather disturbing fact about the crop of potential consorts.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,345
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 97
- Kudos:
- 2,761
- Bookmarks:
- 590
- Hits:
- 16,387
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
21 Jul 2026
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The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe for keyasaurus
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
30 Jul 2013
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Summary
In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End.
He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.
Series
- Part 1 of Shopping
- Part 1 of The Road Delivered Us Home
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,429
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 2,037
- Kudos:
- 9,003
- Bookmarks:
- 3,353
- Hits:
- 318,184
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
19 Jul 2026
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The "Dying" Hobbit by Resacon1990
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
10 Jun 2014
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Summary
"It's just a cold," Gandalf says the following morning when Bilbo wakes up feeling completely under the weather, "a few days rest in bed will do you good, dear fellow."
Or, the one where Bilbo has a cold and everyone thinks he's dying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,855
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 274
- Kudos:
- 16,617
- Bookmarks:
- 3,512
- Hits:
- 173,601
Bookmarked by Melcholeric
19 Jul 2026