20 Works by Notactuallyfunctional
Listing Works
-
Tags
Summary
Cultivation AU
The Flower House is a healing centre that is the culmination of all of Sakura’s dreams to prove to everyone at the Cultivation Academy in Konoha that being civilian born didn’t mean she would never accomplish anything.
However along the way she became too content with her peaceful life, like the petals falling from the trees she is drifting through life until two old friends bring their captain to her door needing help.
-
Tags
Summary
Steve buys a ukulele as a gag secret Santa gift when everyone is hanging out at his parents house for their own Christmas party.
The joke goes wrong when Eddie proves he can sing a sweet love song as devastatingly as he can shred the Master of Puppets. -
Tags
Summary
Zhongli wanted nothing more than to be mortal with all the experiences of mortality.
He gets that final wish.
Quickly written as a discord fic.
-
The Hero’s Lie by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
30 May 2022
Tags
Summary
The first person to be born with a “quirk” was a little girl who glowed with a soft luminescent light. It was beautiful and world changing turning her into the darling of the global community overnight: a beautiful picture of a bright new future.
The first person to use their new abilities to save people and become a hero was a man over three decades later. Almost no one remembers the name of that girl but everyone knows the story of the first hero.
A new version of hero society with its own issues and problems Izuku will need to face head on to break them down.
-
Izuku’s Father by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
25 Mar 2022
Tags
Summary
There is actually a long list of things Katsuki Bakugo and Izuku Midoriya could agree on: no swearing in front of Mrs. Midoriya, All Might was the greatest ever hero, merch is sacred, Kirishima is an endangered species and Hisashi Midoriya wasn’t spoken about.
Ever.
-
GCPD has high standards by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types
25 Mar 2022
Tags
Summary
TW for basically psychological torture and possible asphyxiation/panic attack like torture.
The direct ramblings of my mind on Marinette becoming a Gotham City police officer.
-
Dust and Dwarrows by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
19 Feb 2020
Tags
Summary
Bilbo and Dis need a hand on their ranch and three travelling trouble makers might just be who can save them.
Set in a town too small to be found on a map let alone policed by anyone other than a corrupt sheriff Bilbo needs help if he’s going to keep Dis safe. After all he’s not a fighter maybe what he needs is... a cowboy.
-
One for the Money- Two for the Doughnuts by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV), Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich
15 Nov 2019
Tags
Summary
The best bounty hunter working for Werewolf Bonds office is Allison Argent: the woman wears leather, kicks ass and takes names all while looking like a photoshopped dominatrix barbie.
Then there’s Stiles who should probably stop buying doughnuts by the box.
-
Disillusioned by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Deadpool - Fandom
08 Oct 2018
Tags
Summary
“There’s a reason I’m not allowed to eat chocolate in the suit anymore.”
—-
In which there are Avengers (briefly), Aunt May (briefly), Parties (briefly) and a light spattering of Spideypool flirting, self awareness and drinking.
-
Tags
Summary
So we all know the story. Let’s be honest we’ve been reading about these two since the first movie. So I skipped the filler since I suck at it. You can consider this an outline or a new vague(read: lazy) way of writing.
——
"Don't be silly Kee; hobbits don't have a One," Fili threw a pitying glance over the fire to Bilbo. "It's because they aren't Mahal’s children.""Oh," Kili watched Bilbo with a considering gaze. "So they just marry anyone?"
"Well-" Bilbo began just to be interrupted by Bofur.
"Maybe they marry by lottery!"
"Or lucky dip!"
"Or-"
Bilbo stood up and strode out of camp to the ponies. At least ponies weren't ridiculous, idiotic Dwarrows!
-
Before the first Earl Grey by Notactuallyfunctional, xxemily92xx
Fandoms: James Bond - All Media Types
08 Jun 2017
Tags
Summary
Q had claimed he could do more damage on his computer before his first cup of Earl Grey than Bond could do in the field in a year.
This particular morning, Q does just that.
-
The Mummy: Sterek Edition by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: teen wolf - Fandom, The Mummy
03 May 2017
Tags
Summary
The story of The Mummy rewritten to fit Derek and stiles. The characters as 1920s people so personalities are different.
Stiles is proud of what he is: a librarian! And Derek owes him his life.
Warning: there may be some anti-homosexual thoughts/actions. I'm trying to stay era and culturally correct while also allowing ourselves to indulge in a favourite pairing. Can of worms I know but I'm trying something so let's all play nice?
**TRIGGER WARNING**
There is gore, language, non-con themes in body snatching (No actual smut) and all sorts. Please tread carefully. -
Tags
Summary
The final instalment. A choppy cover of the end of my story. I just wanted to finish this and omg I actually finished something.
I hope my timeline works because it's all in my head. Tell me what you think please!
Series
- Part 6 of My sterek world
-
I might be impossible but you're improbable! by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: teen wolf - Fandom
10 Oct 2016
Tags
Summary
Stiles fights with big words and confusing ideas.
"But my most favourite person is a werewolf you know? Well I hope you know, I keep saying this because on the Venn diagram of life where the realms of the improbable and the impossible overlap is us. Here and now. You know?”
Series
- Part 5 of My sterek world
-
Tags
Summary
Why Stiles doesn't want to go to college. Just talking fluff.
Series
- Part 4 of My sterek world
-
Tags
Summary
When a fear devouring monster attacks stiles if forced to face his greatest fear... But what happens when he does?
-
Tags
Summary
Monster of the week taking control of everyone pretty damn easily.
Stiles doesn't get a chance to but in until it's almost too late.
Good thing she needs everyone's names to control them.Stiles mum may have been a teensy bit a Seer.
Series
- Part 3 of My sterek world
-
We are all idiots when we're in love. by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: teen wolf - Fandom
08 Jun 2016
Tags
Summary
Is stiles going to act like an adult and talk to Derek about why they fought?
No.
Is stiles going to prank a coven of witches as a mature outlet for his frustration?
You bet.Series
- Part 2 of My sterek world
-
Tags
Summary
Stiles got kidnapped. Check.
Pack are coming to save him. Check.
Don't annoy captors into beating him almost to death before the cavalry arrives.... Oops?Series
- Part 1 of My sterek world
-
Game On! by Notactuallyfunctional
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
12 Feb 2016
Tags
Summary
Year 3791,
Dream immersion, 99.9% reality.
In a world of industry the only place for fantasies is in your dreams. The lengths a meddling wizard is willing to go to see a friends dream of adventure come true. Dwarves with homework. Elves who watch holo vids.
This quest wont go as anyone has planned.