Renenutet



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    Heat spread across Ilya's face. His mouth fell open slightly. He let out a short, stuttered laugh of disbelief. This couldn't- he was straight, he wasn't-

    “Finally got you at your own game.” Shane's smirk widened to a smile, his hand clapping down on Ilya's shoulder to squeeze it slightly. For once in his life, Ilya was unable to find his voice.

    “Damn.” Shane laughed, jostling him a bit. “If I had known this was all it took to get you to shut the fuck up, I would have started flirting back years ago.”

    ----

    When old college friends Ilya and Shane show up to their mutual best friend's wedding, they are ready to fulfill their duties as bridesmen. Even after years of not seeing each other, they fall right back into their usual banter.

    Ilya loves to flirt with Shane. Shane loves to tell him to fuck off. It's a running bit. Nothing more than a joke between two friends; because Shane is gay and Ilya is straight and it doesn't actually mean anything…until Shane finally decides to flirt back, and Ilya's world suddenly tilts on its axis.

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    24 Aug 2026

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    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

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    19 Aug 2026

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    “The specific area that was damaged in the fall is what we refer to as the GAF center of the brain.” 

    “GAF?” Ilya asks, puzzled. “Doctor Matthieu, English is not my first language. Can you please speak plainly.”  

    “GAF stands for Give A Fuck.” 

    Ilya’s eyebrows shot to the top of his hairline. “...What?” 

    “I’m afraid that Shane is no longer able to give a fuck.” 

    OR

    After Shane's collision with Cliff Marlow, Shane damages the part of his brain where all of his fucks are stored. No longer able to give a fuck, he confesses his true feelings to Ilya, and says some things to his parents that he normally never would have dared.

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    13 Aug 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.

    ***

    Shane and Ilya never hooked up at the CCM shoot. Seven years later, they end up on the same flight from New York City to Las Vegas.

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    13 Aug 2026

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    Shane begins his yoga breathing techniques again. He knew this interview wouldn't go well because Ilya is Ilya—a professional ragebaiter who can't even take the day off for an immigration interview—but he wasn't prepared for this level of Ilya. Like, on-the-ice-chirping-his-own-teammates, singing-Taylor-Swift-lyrics, casually-discussing-territorial-blowjobs Ilya.

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    10 Aug 2026