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[podfic] I wanna hold you like you needed then by oceans_and_lovers by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
01 Feb 2026
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podfic of "I wanna hold you like you needed then" by oceans_and_lovers
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In an incognito tab, brightness all the way to the bottom, he searches "Top gay bars in Toronto," keeping one deep breath locked inside his chest, and immediately finds the phone number for a place called Woody's.
Opens his history to see if it really doesn't show up there. Checks again as his phone sits freezing in his palm.Biting down on his lip like he'll tear it off, he hits call.
Shane Hollander, when he is alone in the dark, calls gay bars, just to listen.
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[podfic] Swedish Cult Bullshit by YellowMustard by SD_Ryan for LizPoppe
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
26 Jan 2026
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podfic of Swedish Cult Bullshit by YellowMustard
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“Supposedly,” Ed mutters, voice dredged in scorn so thick that if the Swede were around to hear it he'd likely be a snivelling mess, “It's more cost effective and easier to transport if we build it ourselves. Apparently so easy that even Swedish children can do it. Oh, don't worry!” he adds, with a derisive, mad little laugh. “He left instructions!”
Ed flicks at the parchment with the back of his hand, and, curiously, Stede opens it to find…
The instructions.
“...He can't write,” Stede says, realisation dawning.
“He can't write.”
(OR: The Swede invents flat pack furniture. Ed isn’t used to failure. Stede is. They get through these trying times together, and maybe have a little sex about it. Heavy on humour, heavy on Big Feelings~)
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[podfic] last one to leave the bleachers every time by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
14 Jan 2026
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podfic of last one to leave the bleachers every time by anonymous
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They’d considered it—Shane being gay. It’d been an option. But Ilya Rozanov and the way Shane looks at him like he’s the love of his life has blindsided them. Blindsided both of them, and there’s almost nothing Yuna likes less than being blindsided.
She’s not mad, David wants to say. We’re so proud of you. We’re so happy for you. We just didn’t know.
Somehow we missed it, you falling in love.
or, what David Hollander and Ilya Rozanov talk about while Shane and Yuna are outside in episode six.
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[podfic] where the waves meet the shore by toxica939 by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
09 Jan 2026
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podfic of where the waves meet the short by toxica939
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Shane gives himself a minute, hand on the wall in case his knees give out. His heart is still racing behind his ribs. It went fine, he reminds himself. They still love you. This is not how the nightmare usually goes.
That's the thing about nightmares though, you can't out run them. Maybe he just has to sit in it for a while, wait for this new reality to reform itself around him.
They still love you.
OR
nightmares aren't real, but waking up is still a process
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podfic of Free Space by YellowMustard
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Our saltwater solution reduces gravity’s pull by over 80%, ensuring you'll effortlessly stay afloat! We keep the water at a steady 36 degrees—matching your skin’s temperature. This blend of weightlessness and warmth blurs the lines between your body and the water, as your nerves can’t tell where you end and the surrounding environment begins.
Weightlessness. Yeah. If anything’s gonna be Ed’s cure-all, it’s gotta be weightlessness, right?
Ed’s carried around weight for most of his life. He’s tired. His muscles ache. His joints are all ground down to dust.
Also - the word solution is right there. Which proves it.
This is it. This is Ed’s solution.
(Or: Ed's on a wellness journey for his fuckass brain. It's not going great. The guy at the float tank place is being way too nice about it. Please mind the tags!)
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[podfic] the stones and the boulders by smallestchurch by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
04 Jan 2026
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podfic of the stones and the boulders by smallestchurch
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it's after the after. after the sunset, back at the cottage, the comedown. a quiet conversation in the warm tub, night buzzing in through the open window. some ideas about the future. about what it's like to have one at all.
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[podfic] All I Do is Stay Winning by Ragazza_Guasto by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
04 Jan 2026
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“Can you believe it? How the hell did he end up bagging her?”
Ilya stared, brain not comprehending what his body already seemed to, that Hollander was dating-
“Rose fuckin’ Landry! How does the lamest guy in the League-”
He knew that smile. He thought it was for him, just for him. But it wasn't.
“No,” he whispered. His stomach spasmed.
“You good, Roz?”
Why would he- How could he-
They were holding hands…
“Rozanov? What the fuck?”
He jumped up from the table and stumbled for the front door, just barely making it through before the first mass of petals came up. He heaved as he ran, trying desperately to get away from the pavement, somewhere he could hide what was happening.
Unfortunately, his teammates had followed, because of course they would. He saw a photo of Shane Hollander holding hands with a movie star and promptly threw up.
Who wouldn't be curious?
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[podfic] slow wake up sunday morning by red_right_ankle by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
21 Aug 2025
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Ed and Stede enjoy a warm, slow morning.
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[podfic] Grace Unknown and Love Beyond Degree by demolitionwoman by SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Aug 2025
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podfic of Grace Unknown and Love Beyond Degree by demolitionwoman
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There’s a fire going to keep off the slight chill, and the flickering light casts a warm glow on Stede’s golden hair where he sits on the sofa, all snuggled up in a robe and a cashmere afghan. Ed is at the pianoforte, playing a hymn, oddly enough.
It's a cozy night on The Revenge, and Stede loves Ed's hands, so he shows him.
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When Stede's New Year's Eve return home to Mary doesn't go as planned, he finds himself aimlessly riding the subway late at night, unsure of where to go or what to do. But when he sees the most beautiful man in the world, who also seems to be having a bad night, Stede feels compelled to talk to him. Unfortunately, conversations on public transit don't tend to last very long. Fortunately, fate (and the subway itself) might have something to say about that.
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Don't miss the three incredible pieces of art by SweetPotato, available in the fic linked below.
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podfic of Dog-Eared & Illuminated by sillyteehee
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"Confidential journals,” Aziraphale calls them. Well, if he’d been so concerned with keeping his precious diaries safe from prying yellow eyes, maybe he shouldn’t have abandoned said eyes alone on Earth and fucked off back to Heaven.
A story about the following, in no particular order: boxing up old memories, unpacking even older ones, lots and lots of red wine, Muriel trying on sunglasses they're not supposed to, neatly looping cursive, Crowley getting his groove back, and an angel and a demon who are figuring love out.
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podfic of Bonnet's Revenge by DevilsSacramentCatering
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Takes place sometime after the events of Star Crazy.
Out near Luyten, Stede and Ed find a new kind of love.
Series
- Part 2 of Star Crazy
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[podfic] vaster than empires (but, fuck, more slow) by SD_Ryan for LizPoppe
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Mar 2025
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podfic of vaster than empires by spanishforthecar
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It was, in retrospect, a bit whim-prone to leave their friends and their home and try to make their relationship work in solitude—just the two of them, fumbling through a brand-new career that… well, doesn't necessarily come naturally to either of them. But it’s a whim that's worked out, because they’re learning together, and laughing together, and generally, you know, thriving.
It’s just. There’s this one thing.
They’re not having sex.
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A look into an innkeepers era where there are some communication barriers, both internal and external.
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podfic of Powder Blue by scarrletmoon
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Edward Teach has been a bartender at Queen Anne’s for three years before he catches the eye of one Stede Bonnet – a man so wealthy he’s run out creative ways to spend his own money. In exchange for sex and companionship, he offers to pay for everything Ed’s ever wanted. It’s a deal so incredible it almost seems too good to be true, and all Ed has to do is not fall in love.
Easy.
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Sebastian knows how to pray. He only needs a god worthy of his prayers.
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podfic of Shuffling the Deck by YellowMustard
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“You know I’d be perfectly glad to give you a crack at it, Ed. I’d…it’s always me. And of course, I thoroughly enjoy a…a good round of cards. But if you’d like a turn, I–I think I’d actually rather enjoy giving you the reins for once.”
And why the fuck does his voice sound so pitchy and anxious and tight?
It’s…it’s fucking solitaire.
“Just don’t think I’ll be as good at it as you, love,” Ed murmurs truthfully.
“I think–” Stede confesses quietly. “I think you’d be very good, if you were willing to give it a shot. Methodical. Careful. Gentle.”
Ed frowns. He tilts his head to try and catch Stede’s gaze, but Stede quickly looks away.
“Do you,” Ed begins, hesitant and feeling strangely wrongfooted, like there’s a conversation happening in Stede’s head that he isn’t a part of. “Do you need to be particularly gentle with playing cards?”
(OR: Stede is not talking about solitaire. A post-canon romp about quality time, communication, sex, and being brave enough to ask for the things you want.)
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podfic of Nocturne by YellowMustard
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So there Ed is, in this enormous room all decked out in ivory and gold, surrounded by one-percenters and inherited wealth and fucking caviar. And he sits under a canopy of twinkling crystals, and he plays his mood music, and the room slowly fills.
And the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen.
Ed’s starting to feel more and more like a member of the string quartet playing out the sinking of the fucking Titanic.
(Or: Ed's the harpist at a swanky wedding that's gone south. Stede's got his own problems. A one-night fastburn meet-cute: fluff, humour, eventual smut, and a truly obscene description of caviar)
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Podfic of "you make me feel" by Ghostalservice (plantain leaf) by Baby_kraken, happydaiz_pod (1happydaiz), Kninjaknitter, LoopyDangerFrog, ramsay_baggins_records, SD_Ryan
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Jan 2025
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Five times Ed popped the question... and one time he got a yes.
A mighty real sequel (but you don't need to read that one to get this one)
Each of the 6 sections are narrated by different creators!
Series
- Part 1 of Mighty Real
- Part 2 of mighty real
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[PODFIC] The One With The Wooden Boy by Baby_kraken, ClaireGregory, ghostalservice, happydaiz_pod (1happydaiz), Judysoranges, Kninjaknitter, LoopyDangerFrog, PilotPiratePods, SD_Ryan, with (cheesecake3), with (Tipsy_Kitty)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Dec 2024
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It's been a whole month of the crew settling in to listen to the One With The Wooden Boy. Well, here it is at last, the final treat for the Podfuckery 2024 - The One With The Wooden Boy. Gather round and find out if he gets to become a real boy!
Series
- Part 22 of Podfuckery 2024
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podfic of Off the Wall by DevilsSacramentCatering
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Ed, 43, is an ex-convict and successful artist. Stede wanders into Boodhari's gallery one day and Ed's never been more drawn to a person in his life.
Only problem is, Stede won't let himself have Ed. Stede has a secret and Ed has absolutely no fucking patience for it.
OR
Ed has a bunch of chance encounters and phone sex with some hot weirdo named Stede.