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Blow Jobs and Positive Reinforcement Verse (Reuploaded) by dont_take_me_home
Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV)
13 Apr 2025
- Words:
- 64,876
- Works:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 49
Bookmarked by Snippers
14 Apr 2025
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Summary
An afternoon kickabout with Phoebe aggravates Roy's knee problems. He doesn't handle the pain well.
Fortunately, Jamie knows how to handle him.
(Post-canon)
Bookmarked by Snippers
01 Mar 2025
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Summary
The first time they switch, Jamie’s fucking Keeley. It’s amazing, best sex of his life, and he wonders what it feels like for her—good, by the sound of it—and then a second later, he’s looking at his own face. He’s lying on his back staring up at himself.
“What the fuck,” he says in Keeley’s voice.
***
In which we add some good old zany fic trope magic to canon, diverge wildly from the middle of season two, speedrun a season and a half of character development, stir up some gender feelings, play a little football, and fall in love.
Also: an improbable amount of sex. Believe.
Series
- Part 1 of Second Nature 'verse
Bookmarked by Snippers
10 Feb 2025
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Summary
“So have you?” Jamie demanded.
“What?”
“Done gay shit!” Jamie exploded.
Roy exhaled heavily through his nose. Fucking Christ. “Yes.”
Jamie threw up his hands in disgust. “Fucking unbelievable! I’m the hottest bloke on the team, bar none, and I’m the only one that’s never done gay shit! The boys should be all over me!”
“You listed four people, Tartt. That’s not even a quarter of the team.”
Jamie ignored him. “And even you’ve done gay shit! I didn’t know that was allowed!”
“If you want to go do gay shit go find someone to do gay shit with,” Roy said curtly, hoping to end the conversation and return to sanity.
“Right,” Jamie said, nodding resolutely. “Good idea, coach.” His pout eased, replaced with a look of determination that Roy really should have taken for a warning sign because a moment later Jamie softened his mouth, stepped forward into Roy’s space, and kissed him.
Bookmarked by Snippers
29 Jan 2025
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Summary
Jamie snaps his mouth shut. Keeley looks between the two of them again. Roy looks first in Jamie’s eyes then down at the neon mesh that’s glowing under the UV lights, then back up. This time his eyes stop at Jamie’s lips.
“I mean like… if you’ve never kissed a bloke before then I suppose it’s just community service.”
Includes art
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,528
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 510
- Bookmarks:
- 47
- Hits:
- 3,635
Bookmarked by Snippers
19 Dec 2023
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Summary
Roy, Jamie, and Keeley make some questionable decisions about drugs. Or: two times things didn’t quite work out and one time they did.
Diverges from canon in early S2.
Bookmarked by Snippers
28 Nov 2023
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Mystery Work
Part of PGHUMFORTHIDDEN
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by Snippers
21 Nov 2023
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Summary
is it getting you hot? roy nuzzles against the dragon’s tail
you’re licking me, mate
so yes
the tats don’t feel any different though, i can see them but i don’t feel them
roy’s never felt the urge to have darkness infused into his skinhe feels midnight-dark, death-dark as it is –
but not on a day like today. a snow day. a day like the colour burnt orange. a day like strawberry jam on toast
Series
- Part 2 of carry me into a seven-day kiss
Bookmarked by Snippers
29 Jul 2023
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Bookmarked by Snippers
26 Jul 2023
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Summary
Prompt from afc_richmond_kinkmeme by anonymous:
Roy has a thing for getting told off when he's been bad. When he blames his lack of tactical brilliance for Richmond losing a match, he feels like he's been very bad. And he knows one person who would be able to tell him off in a way that really hits the spot. He has a feeling it might hit the spot for Nate, too. If Roy can work himself up to asking.
Bookmarked by Snippers
01 May 2023
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Summary
It's not like he wants Roy Kent saying nice things about him to be the only thing that gets him off, but he's got to work with what he's got.
Bookmarked by Snippers
17 Apr 2023
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Summary
Roy, searching for role models as he trains Jamie, finds himself thinking of Keeley...
His fucking traitor of a brain summons an image of her there on the pitch, between them. Giving Roy that look, the one that used to make him want to drop to his terrible aching knees. Fuck the pain.
Roy wonders, suddenly, if she ever used that look on Jamie. If she ever told him what good boy he was...
(Or: Keeley gently doms Jamie, via Roy.)
Bookmarked by Snippers
05 Apr 2023
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Summary
Keeley desperately needs to sob during one of her scheduled crying breaks at work…but it’s just not happening. So she calls the one person who can meet her needs, in more ways than one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,380
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 95
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,583
Bookmarked by Snippers
20 Mar 2023
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Summary
"There's a bear in Coach Beard's room," said Jamie in a rush. "I think it might have eaten him."
Bookmarked by Snippers
07 Nov 2022
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Summary
Tonight Richmond played in Leeds, eked out a win thanks solely to Jamie, and Cartrick doesn’t care what they do. Jamie is going out.
Series
- Part 1 of cherries
Bookmarked by Snippers
17 Oct 2022
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Summary
Roy put his hand out and said, “Hang on, are you saying —”
“Jane brought her special bonding tea to the team potluck and you both drank it and now have to be within a ten-foot radius of each other or else you’ll experience blinding pain?”
And that’s why you
always leave a notenever drink the unmarked tea at a team party.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,213
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 72
- Kudos:
- 1,023
- Bookmarks:
- 205
- Hits:
- 7,752
Bookmarked by Snippers
16 Oct 2022
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Summary
“I like it when you're vulnerable,” Keeley said, ruffling Roy's hair in a way that Jamie had to remind himself he didn't get jealous over any more. “I like it when you're all open and showing me what you want and what feels good and what hurts.”
“Yeah,” said Roy, unimpressed. “When I'm a sobbing, sniveling mess.”
He circled her narrow waist with a casual hand and turned to Jamie, who felt as if he had somehow switched jerseys during a match and no one told him.
“Anyway, so you want in on this?”
Bookmarked by Snippers
29 Sep 2022
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Summary
“Everything’s fucked,” Roy says, so quietly Jamie has to strain to hear him, even in the empty room. “HQ’s compromised, I can’t trust anyone there, not even fucking Ted, and I can’t go home, obviously, so…”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,524
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 59
- Kudos:
- 526
- Bookmarks:
- 107
- Hits:
- 3,757
Bookmarked by Snippers
25 Sep 2022
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Summary
He does recognise that if he were a different kind of person, there's an opportunity here to just pretend that IKEA entertainment centers are his kink. However, Roy Kent is not that person. "I hired you by mistake."
Jamie blinks. "What?"
"Needed a hand with a furniture thing, didn't notice what the site was really for."
"Didn't notice..." Jamie stares at him. "But you paid... and there's a picture of a guy licking—"
"All right," Roy snaps.
Bookmarked by Snippers
23 Aug 2022
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Summary
Roy discovers a new bad habit late on a Saturday night.
Series
- Part 1 of My bad habits lead to you
Bookmarked by Snippers
21 Aug 2022