StarLost4419
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Missing Chris is less of an emotion these days and more of a physical entity. He’s sure everyone can see that he’s slowly hollowing himself out, that he can’t do much of anything else.
But when Jee laughs at him trying to get his tongue to touch his nose, and Mara loops one of her arms through his to keep him from tossing the rest of his cup in the garbage, Eddie feels solid again.
Maybe he likes yellow birthday cake ice cream after all.
(or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?)
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- English
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- 58,577
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- 1/1
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- 11
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Bookmarked by StarLost4419
28 Sep 2024
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Eddie can’t move. Like this, Buck is illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the window; dust motes shimmering around his head, his hair haloed in gold. Beautiful, Eddie thinks. And to his surprise, he doesn’t feel any sort of guilt about doing so.
Except — he should. Because Buck is dating Tommy, and he’s happy, and Eddie would rather go to his grave repressed and miserable than ever take away from Buck’s happiness.
Or: Eddie starts to untangle his complicated feelings about himself, and Buck. Mainly Buck.
- Language:
- English
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- 56,474
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 458
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Bookmarked by StarLost4419
14 Sep 2024
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"Maddie." Eddie’s fear matches her own when they meet each other’s eyes again. “You gotta get out. We don’t have time…”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“What about Jee, Maddie?” Eddie grabs it like the steel frame in his side and jams it straight through her heart. “Who’d you rather leave? Me or her?”
For a moment, she thinks of how simple it would be. How badly she wants to get out. To remove the danger, to remove the possibility of leaving Jee, again, of leaving Chimney again. She could get out of the car. She could survive this.
Some part of her wants to, so bad, but she’s staring at Eddie, and thinking of Buck’s shaking hands after he got shot, thinking of Eddie spinning Christopher at the fire station, thinking of all the things this world has to lose if it loses Eddie Diaz. Thinking of all the things her brother would lose.
Thinking of all the things she would lose.
OR
Eddie and Maddie end up in an impossible situation.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,639
- Chapters:
- 2/2
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- 244
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Bookmarked by StarLost4419
22 Aug 2024
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There are more than 800 miles between El Paso and LA. Buck won't stop until he's got Chris home safe, but what does it look like to go home when home's had its very foundations rocked?
Or: The one where a very angry thirteen year old Chris effectively kidnaps Buck by taking his phone, but it's Chris who ends up the subject of the Amber Alert
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
28 Jul 2024
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Summary
The memories aren’t fully fleshed out, only flashes of places, people, and feelings. Sometimes they’re tangible, so much so he feels like he can reach it within his fingertips and hold them there.
He’d be washing dishes, and he’d feel the phantom arms of Eddie around his waist, the junction of his neck and shoulder feeling warm. For a flash, he’d see a different kitchen than the one he was in. He’d be looking at a menu in a restaurant, and he thinks he’d hear Eddie’s voice asking, ‘You gonna order the usual?’ When he glances down at the table, he’d be surprised he’s not seeing a deep green tablecloth. He’d doze off on the couch and feel his cheek land on Eddie’s chest, arms wrapping around him, and he’d open his eyes to find himself alone.
How do you explain that away? Missing something you can’t fully remember having?
=
Or, Evan Buckley wakes up without eight years of his memories with some guy named Eddie Diaz on his bedside. Which could mean nothing.
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- English
- Words:
- 39,205
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- 1/1
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- 1
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- 228
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Bookmarked by StarLost4419
10 Jul 2024