1 - 20 of 25 Bookmarks by StarLost4419
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Missing Chris is less of an emotion these days and more of a physical entity. He’s sure everyone can see that he’s slowly hollowing himself out, that he can’t do much of anything else.
But when Jee laughs at him trying to get his tongue to touch his nose, and Mara loops one of her arms through his to keep him from tossing the rest of his cup in the garbage, Eddie feels solid again.
Maybe he likes yellow birthday cake ice cream after all.
(or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,577
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 1,802
- Kudos:
- 18,779
- Bookmarks:
- 7,554
- Hits:
- 298,890
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
28 Sep 2024
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Summary
Eddie can’t move. Like this, Buck is illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the window; dust motes shimmering around his head, his hair haloed in gold. Beautiful, Eddie thinks. And to his surprise, he doesn’t feel any sort of guilt about doing so.
Except — he should. Because Buck is dating Tommy, and he’s happy, and Eddie would rather go to his grave repressed and miserable than ever take away from Buck’s happiness.
Or: Eddie starts to untangle his complicated feelings about himself, and Buck. Mainly Buck.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,474
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 458
- Kudos:
- 4,203
- Bookmarks:
- 1,476
- Hits:
- 97,299
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
14 Sep 2024
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"Maddie." Eddie’s fear matches her own when they meet each other’s eyes again. “You gotta get out. We don’t have time…”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“What about Jee, Maddie?” Eddie grabs it like the steel frame in his side and jams it straight through her heart. “Who’d you rather leave? Me or her?”
For a moment, she thinks of how simple it would be. How badly she wants to get out. To remove the danger, to remove the possibility of leaving Jee, again, of leaving Chimney again. She could get out of the car. She could survive this.
Some part of her wants to, so bad, but she’s staring at Eddie, and thinking of Buck’s shaking hands after he got shot, thinking of Eddie spinning Christopher at the fire station, thinking of all the things this world has to lose if it loses Eddie Diaz. Thinking of all the things her brother would lose.
Thinking of all the things she would lose.
OR
Eddie and Maddie end up in an impossible situation.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,639
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 244
- Kudos:
- 3,430
- Bookmarks:
- 947
- Hits:
- 32,303
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
22 Aug 2024
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There are more than 800 miles between El Paso and LA. Buck won't stop until he's got Chris home safe, but what does it look like to go home when home's had its very foundations rocked?
Or: The one where a very angry thirteen year old Chris effectively kidnaps Buck by taking his phone, but it's Chris who ends up the subject of the Amber Alert
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
28 Jul 2024
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Summary
The memories aren’t fully fleshed out, only flashes of places, people, and feelings. Sometimes they’re tangible, so much so he feels like he can reach it within his fingertips and hold them there.
He’d be washing dishes, and he’d feel the phantom arms of Eddie around his waist, the junction of his neck and shoulder feeling warm. For a flash, he’d see a different kitchen than the one he was in. He’d be looking at a menu in a restaurant, and he thinks he’d hear Eddie’s voice asking, ‘You gonna order the usual?’ When he glances down at the table, he’d be surprised he’s not seeing a deep green tablecloth. He’d doze off on the couch and feel his cheek land on Eddie’s chest, arms wrapping around him, and he’d open his eyes to find himself alone.
How do you explain that away? Missing something you can’t fully remember having?
=
Or, Evan Buckley wakes up without eight years of his memories with some guy named Eddie Diaz on his bedside. Which could mean nothing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,205
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 228
- Kudos:
- 3,516
- Bookmarks:
- 1,174
- Hits:
- 56,621
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
10 Jul 2024
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Summary
“I feel fucking explosive, Buck. Like I’m about to go off at any second. I don’t want you caught in my mess.”
His eyes sting. At the very least, Buck contains the sound of it in his voice. “Eddie, I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he replies, “but I already am.”
Eddie self-implodes. Christopher, seeking refuge, flees to Buck—whose priorities amount to, in varying order: take in the kid, get Eddie to talk to him, and keep the three of them afloat in the process. (Oh, and Tommy’s there too. He thinks.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,295
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,104
- Kudos:
- 8,587
- Bookmarks:
- 2,927
- Hits:
- 139,001
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
20 Jun 2024
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May realised a very long time ago that Buck was basically her stepbrother. So, when the lightning strike finally provided the impetus for Bobby to admit that he also brought a kid into their family, she had every intention of seizing the opportunity to properly integrate Buck into the Grant-Nash family.
And, look, if in the process she also gains a brother-in-law… clearly the universe was just waiting for the opportunity to make that happen.
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Or, the one where May ensures Buck is enfolded properly into the Grant-Nash clan, which means Bobby (and by extension the firefam, because gossip) suddenly gets significantly more insight into the inner workings of the Buckley-Diaz family, and all roads lead to Buddie…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,004
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 1,034
- Kudos:
- 8,848
- Bookmarks:
- 3,172
- Hits:
- 177,787
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
27 Feb 2024
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when you're lost in the universe, don't lose hope by kaleidoscopeskies (desert_moonchild)
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
23 Oct 2023
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Summary
As tired as he looked, Eddie had never seen Buck look so soft or in love before. The only other person Buck had ever even remotely looked at like that was Christopher. And that’s when it hit him.
This was Buck’s baby.
--
Buck had never felt so alone in his life, in the weeks after he dropped the lawsuit, when he gets a call letting him know he was never going to be alone again.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,707
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 278
- Kudos:
- 6,991
- Bookmarks:
- 1,779
- Hits:
- 126,396
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
24 Oct 2023
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Somebody Else's Loss is Another's Gain (Thank You to the One Who Let [Him] Get Away) by OtterdentallyInLove
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
06 Nov 2021
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Summary
Isabel Diaz loves her family, don’t get her wrong, but if she wanted this day to be perfect, she knew she had to ensure that her late husband’s namesake promised (a pinky promise, given Evan explained to her how, per Maddie and himself, pinky promises cannot be broken) to follow through on bringing her a priceless and precious gift, the one she was most looking forward to. Admittedly it was more of a demand than a request, though, so there was no way Eddie would fail her…
Or so she thought.(Or: Buck attends Abuela's 80th birthday party with Eddie, Chris and (a surprise) Jee. He's quick to charm most of the Diazes, but Ramon and Helena have been distant and uninterested from the moment they laid eyes on him in Abuela's backyard. Another surprise gift (this one unwelcome) later in the party invited drama and unexpected confessions, well unexpected for our two favorite oblivious boys.)
Series
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
14 Oct 2023
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Summary
“It’ll go fine.” Howie advised. “I don’t like the idea of you being there alone,” he joked with a small little smile. “But it’ll be okay.”
“I’m not alone.” Maddie teased with a matching smile of her own.
“You’re right.” Howie conceded. “You have our scary baby girl to hold everyone off.”
Maddie snorted. “I meant -.”
“I know what you meant.” Howie sobered. “I like the idea of him being there even less.”
Maddie’s stomach jolted. “Do you think I made a mistake?” She asked cautiously. “Should I have told him not to come?”
Howie waved a hand to the side. “Nah,” he shrugged. “We both know Buck’s going to Buck.”
--
Or, realizing that the family that you need has been beside you all along.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,108
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 253
- Kudos:
- 2,960
- Bookmarks:
- 1,103
- Hits:
- 36,026
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
01 Sep 2023
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Summary
Inspired by the song, Two Doors Down by Mystery Jets
The boys meet Luke's new neighbor, Julie Molina, for the first time, and let's just say Sunset Curve's lead singer has fallen head over heels for her already
AU where it's 2020 and the boys are still 17 and haven't died and neither did Rose.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,891
- Chapters:
- 21/25
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 857
- Kudos:
- 2,034
- Bookmarks:
- 366
- Hits:
- 60,002
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
19 Aug 2023
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Summary
Eddie wants to scream. Eddie wants to talk to Buck. There are questions he should ask - Do you know when the bleeding started? How long has it been? How bad does it hurt? Are you injured anywhere else? There is a conversation he wants to have - If I leave you here I don’t know that you’ll be alive when I get back. There are protocols, in disaster situations. If you can only save one person, you save the one most likely to survive. Beyond protocol, you always fucking save the kid. Beyond that, it's our kid. It’s our fucking kid, it’s Christopher, and I am going to get him to the surface and in doing so I am going to leave you for dead. But it’s Buck, and they never really needed words to talk, and Buck is still looking at him, and Eddie knows what he'd say. He'd downplay the injury. He knows the protocol. And he’d already said it, damned him out loud, he’s going to take you back up top and then come back for me.
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
10 Jul 2023
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Summary
He and Chris, and Buck. They work, they’re a unit. Why should it matter that he’s single?
Buck is watching him, like he’s reading every thought on his face.
“You’re already planning to lie about the date. Why don’t you just tell her you met someone yourself?”
Eddie shrugs and tilts his head to the side, squinting in thought. “She won’t set me up on dates if she thinks I’ve got someone,” he muses. “But she’ll want to meet whoever it is.”
“So... Introduce them?”
Or: Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,295
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 2,472
- Bookmarks:
- 465
- Hits:
- 19,607
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
23 Jun 2023
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Summary
Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.
But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”
—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—
So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,163
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 848
- Kudos:
- 27,985
- Bookmarks:
- 7,257
- Hits:
- 314,592
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
25 May 2023
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words, how little they mean when they're a little too late by Polish_Amber
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
12 Mar 2023
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Summary
Margaret and Phillip spent years not seeing their children and then slowly got back into contact with them until this point, where they think they’re in a pretty decent place, actually.
Except then Buck gets injured and, as his hospital room fills with evidence of a life they know absolutely nothing about and they meet and hear about people they’ve never heard of (including a child?!), they realise that perhaps it was all simply too little, too late after all.
—--
Or, the one where Buck builds a family and his birth parents get exposed to pieces of it in the aftermath of 6x10: In a Flash.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,999
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 546
- Kudos:
- 12,156
- Bookmarks:
- 2,999
- Hits:
- 95,768
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
30 Mar 2023
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Summary
Buck loves Christopher. Buck clearly loves both of them. He and Eddie haven't said it to each other yet, but it's in every gesture, every word. Every package of dinosaur nuggets Buck keeps in his refrigerator. Every time he sends a text because he saw a video of dogs looking ashamed after destroying stuff and he knows Eddie will think it's funny. The care he takes when he carries Chris to bed. How he looks at Eddie when he thinks Eddie's asleep.
It turns out that being in a secret relationship with your best friend in an active fire department is kind of a life-altering situation, once it's suddenly not a secret anymore.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,027
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 188
- Kudos:
- 6,376
- Bookmarks:
- 1,599
- Hits:
- 66,257
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
18 Mar 2023
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Summary
"So yes, as the contingency plan, I still come last. The prison riot was different because that was both of us in danger, but if it only has to be one of us in danger, then it's going to be me. Always." Buck declared, voice hard and eyes meeting Eddie's evenly.
"You aren't a fucking contingency plan!" Eddie exclaimed, arms gesticulating wildly.
"Yes. I. Am." Buck ground out, hands fisting where they now rested at his sides.
.................................................................................
Or the one where Buck puts himself in danger to save Eddie and the two boys finally have a much needed conversation about the will and the shooting. Right in front of Hen and Chim, who were just trying to read their respective book/social media post. But hey, after five years of their pining, they were at least invested in the drama unfolding before them.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,470
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 67
- Kudos:
- 2,978
- Bookmarks:
- 570
- Hits:
- 17,155
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
18 Mar 2023
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Bookmarked by StarLost4419
11 Mar 2023
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I'll Feel You Forget Me Like I Used to Feel You Breathe by turningthepages
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
22 Mar 2023
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Summary
A car accident leaves Eddie without ten years of memories. He forgets meeting Buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. As Eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, Buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him.
Oh, and they have really cute kids.
or
Just another Hollywood Amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long.
Series
- Part 1 of I'll Feel You Forget Me
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 128,883
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,203
- Kudos:
- 7,035
- Bookmarks:
- 2,498
- Hits:
- 196,373
Bookmarked by StarLost4419
22 Feb 2023
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Summary
When Buck is hurt on the job in 2022, he gets temporary amnesia, believing himself to be back in 2018 shortly after the earthquake call. Waking up in the hospital to the news that his sister has stayed in LA, Abby is gone, and he's apparently best friends with the army vet he couldn't stand at first, Buck struggles to gain his footing back into his life as his memory comes back to him. Meanwhile, Eddie is acting strange and there are too many unknown scars across his body. While the amnesia is temporary, perhaps what he learns from a brief fresh start won't be.
------
Or, the typical Buck gets amnesia fic that everybody loves.Bookmarked by StarLost4419
17 Feb 2023