161 - 180 of 325 Bookmarks by TalksTooMuch
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"So, just to be clear,” Dave began, the second the door had closed behind him. “This is a sex thing, right?"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,784
- Chapters:
- 1/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 100
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,181
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
03 Jan 2025
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"The point," Karkat says, balling up the cape and tossing it over one shoulder, "is that I'm curious as fuck about your horrific alien biology, but you never take off any clothes, or let me see anything, really."
"Oh, man," Dave groans. "There's nothing to see, jesus."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,296
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 45
- Kudos:
- 3,148
- Bookmarks:
- 312
- Hits:
- 39,091
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
31 Dec 2024
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Man, Dave thought getting through adolescence was a pain in the ass for HUMANS. He had no idea how good they have it, until he saw what trolls got to go through.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,232
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 3,554
- Bookmarks:
- 502
- Hits:
- 65,651
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
31 Dec 2024
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He was almost certain that there would never come a day when people called on him again, he didn’t exactly have much more work to do on earth for the time being, sure, eventually he’d have to check on systems and life, but for now he could enjoy his rest. So you can imagine the shock he felt as he began to stir, felt that old itch in the back of his mind that someone was in his shrine.
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Dave's an archeologist on a new dig with Aradia when they accidentally wake up a sleeping deity. They have to try and find a way to get him back some very important artifacts, and shenanigans ensue along the way.Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
29 Dec 2024
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What is the worst thing someone you love could do that you would still forgive them for?
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FBI Agents Jake English and Karkat Vantas are just trying to arrest criminals and live their lives.
Jake wants to go home to his boyfriend at the end of the day. Karkat wants his peace and quiet.
Too bad the Strider thief duo they just can't seem to catch has been giving them a hard time.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,508
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Comments:
- 602
- Kudos:
- 1,640
- Bookmarks:
- 172
- Hits:
- 33,921
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
28 Dec 2024
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Shitty Punchlines Are The Purest Form Of Self-Deprecation by LandOfMistAndSecrets
Fandoms: Homestuck
04 Aug 2016
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Laying somewhere solidly post-credits and wondering, when do we start feeling like winners? Or is that not part of the package? Where's our fucking GameFAQs guide to navigating these stupid first steps into an eternity processing whatever the FUCK just happened, here?
Going through that door was supposed to fix everything. Wasn't it?
What's it going to take to fix ourselves?
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
28 Dec 2024
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((AU where on your 13th birthday the colour of your soulmates eyes turn gray until you see their eyes. People have very colourful eyes))
Dave Strider was told he didn’t deserve a Soulmate, that he didn’t have one. At first he didn’t believe that, until he woke up on his 13th birthday, still able to see all the colours.
Series
- Part 1 of Awkward Soulmate Situations (A.S.S.)
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
27 Dec 2024
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Dave Strider's eyes never turned the color of his soulmates. With his rare eye-color, there's next to no chance they simply share an eye color.
One day he meets Karkat Vantas.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,705
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 1,108
- Bookmarks:
- 122
- Hits:
- 8,047
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
27 Dec 2024
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Tomorrow's Another Day But Let's Focus On Today (DaveKatWeek 2017) by Miriage
Fandoms: Homestuck
15 Aug 2017
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A collection of oneshots written for DaveKatWeek 2017. Compiled here for convenience.
Day 1: Post-Canon "Baby Steps"
Day 2: AU: "Target and the Troll"
Day 3: Crossover-Animal Crossing: "Mayor Strider and the Black Cat"
Day 4: Sadstuck: "You're You"
Day 5: Leave it Up to Fate: "Shit.... Let's Be Parents"
Day 6: Fluff: "A Slice of Key Lime Karkat Pie Please!"
Day 7: Free Choice "Painting"Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
26 Dec 2024
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Karkat Vantas has escaped Alternia, and landed himself in a brand new problem. To pay his way to Earth, he takes a contract with the Undying Umbra as an assassin and wetwork generalist.
With a pricetag assigned to his life, Karkat assumes he just has to work his way out. Day by day, job by job, he's going to claw his way out from Under The Table.
Then: He meets his handler, Dave Strider.
And things get complicated. Like, really fucking complicated.
NOW COMPLETE!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 252,409
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 1,733
- Kudos:
- 1,698
- Bookmarks:
- 440
- Hits:
- 68,714
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
26 Dec 2024
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Dave doesn't get troll romance, but that's okay because Karkat is bad at it anyway.
A journey through all four quadrants and a bit more.
Series
- Part 1 of Who Are These Douchebags?
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
26 Dec 2024
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The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels...
But turns out he's also a great fuck.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,637
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 3,630
- Bookmarks:
- 344
- Hits:
- 68,656
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
24 Dec 2024
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Dave just wants to be left alone. What's the point of anything when what's broken can never be completely fixed?
This is the story of Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas, on the longest journey of their lives.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,311
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 944
- Kudos:
- 6,004
- Bookmarks:
- 1,196
- Hits:
- 108,393
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
24 Dec 2024
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Dave never realized how bad things were until Karkat showed him how good they could be.
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
23 Dec 2024
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Terezi was everything to you. You had a whole life with her planned out, down to the paint job on your awful future suburban home, only to let it all slip through your fingers. And it wasn't even his fault in the end.
Now all you have to show for it is a drastically different kind of life on some smelly goddamn couch. Cue the laugh track.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,638
- Chapters:
- 28/30
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 90
- Kudos:
- 112
- Bookmarks:
- 25
- Hits:
- 3,072
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
21 Dec 2024
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Summary
(this is a rewrite of a fanfic i put on wattpad and quotev a while ago)
Karkat Vantas, a slightly vertically stunted troll who somehow ended up going to a school with humans. He has to navigate his way through his new life, learning that he doesn't need to hide from everyone anymore no matter what happens.
Dave Strider, a popular yet socially awkward human who doesn't want to be the center of attention anymore. His life has always been the same, and he has always thought that what he went through since he was as small as three years old was normal for a child to go through.
The only question left is if they will both make it out of High School without someone's brain, or the entire school, or even one of their lives, bursting into flames.
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
21 Dec 2024
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Summary
Dream-sharing: a highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams, and unearth their deepest secrets and memories.
Within this business, the Strider-Lalondes are known as the best there is — until Dirk Strider gets his fool-ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden.
To save him, the best and brightest dreamers in the world will have to form a team. Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the latest, greatest agent in the biz, and on the run through a dangerous tiered dream in a hostile mind... It's going to take a miracle to pull this one off.
11/11/21: FULLY REVISED WITH A "FIVE YEARS LATER" EPILOGUE
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,613
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 733
- Kudos:
- 2,369
- Bookmarks:
- 679
- Hits:
- 53,568
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
19 Dec 2024
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two absolute idiots navigate the backrooms and endure a myriad of near death experiences (and other weird shit) by ambivalentCalamity
Fandoms: Homestuck, The Backrooms - Anonymous on /x/
17 Jan 2025
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Summary
whoopsy daisy, someone pressed the big red button they were told not to press and now these two bumblefucks (karkat vantas and dave strider, both aged 16) are stuck in the backrooms. who the hell came up with this idea, and why am i treating this shit seriously? no clue. absolutely no clue. none at all.
rated TEEN for now because there's lots of swearing and the occasional canon-typical violence :-)
this version of the backrooms is based off of sagan hawkes' video covering the first 100 levels. the levels tend to change a lot since anyone can create one, and i need to have SOMETHING consistent to stick to while writing this. if you want to find the video, just search 'sagan hawkes backrooms' on youtube and you should find it pretty fast. (i don't know if linking to external sites is cool or not so i'm not gonna test it lol)
this USED to be a comic. i've since realized i don't have the motivation or care to draw that much in such little time... but i still really like the idea, so... this work will be 90% written, 10% illustration. the workskin, formatting, and writing style are extremely prone to change since this is so experimental, apologies in advance :-)
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
19 Dec 2024
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Summary
From the prompt: Karkat shows Dave a kink video as a joke, and it turns out Dave is unexpectedly and humiliatingly into it. Karkat figures it out & wants to indulge him. I don't care what the particular kink in the video is, I'm more focused on the embarrassment part and Dave being a mix of aroused/ashamed the whole time.
They don't actually get as kinky as *cough* the video they watch might suggest but it's their first time and they're figuring things out and Dave is a ball of shame.
Also this is a comic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 654
- Bookmarks:
- 85
- Hits:
- 9,772
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
17 Dec 2024
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Instead of joining the rebellion with Jade and going on the mission that leads him to become Davebot, Dave finds out about Yiffany. Sympathetic to the plight of Human Infidelity and Marital Separation Proceedings, Commander Karkat pays him a visit.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,654
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 137
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 1,859
Bookmarked by TalksTooMuch
17 Dec 2024