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Alexander the Great has been dead for centuries.
Yet, Augustus keeps fangirling over him and Agrippa gets jealous.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,103
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
04 Mar 2026
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Octavius is a general. He became a general for the glory of Rome, unfortunately that is hard to do when his Rome is constrained to a magical diorama and its miniature inhabitants. And even harder when the irritating blonde cowboy next door hates him.
Both the senate and Jedediah's unionised workers agree that despite their differences it is in their best interest to join forces to unite the miniatures hall, leaving their leaders to have to bottle their mutual hatred for the good of their people.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
21 Feb 2026
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Morning After at the Museum by NichePastiche, wisteria_lodge
Fandoms: Night at the Museum (Movies)
13 Aug 2023
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Nothing like an hourglass and a handsy pharaoh to put things in perspective. Jed’s been feeling some kind of way about Octavius for a while now, and nearly dying helped him put a name to it. Now Octy and him are safe he ain’t wasting time no more. That irritating Roman son-of-a-gun is getting kissed!
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
15 Feb 2026
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imagining (pressed into something else) by squidbatts
Fandoms: Night at the Museum (Movies)
06 Jan 2025
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Flat on his stomach, Jedediah had straddled him, laughing the way he always did when he knew he had won. “I get that y'all gotta try an’ keep your pride,” He said, “But ain't y’all tired’a pretendin' you don't know who's in charge ‘round here?”
“I refuse to play into your delusions,” Octavius snapped, trying to dislodge Jedediah, “Rome will conquer as she always has.”
“Yeah, alright,” Jedediah said, voice dripping with condescension. He leaned forward, almost plastered to Octavius' back. He pushed down on Octavius' neck, shoving him harder into the museum's marble flooring, “We ain't gonna lose to a bunch’a stupid skirts. Y'all're gonna hafta work a lot harder to get one over on ol’ Jedediah.”
or: octavius gets a night off
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Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
13 Feb 2026
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Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
12 Feb 2026
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"There are no words to describe how beautiful this time of the year is, I just love the lights they put outside, the snow falling, is just as magical as we are." Octavius said, looking in awe outside.
"Yeah, the lights… The lights, yer right" Jedediah was out of breath, staring at Octavius face, lighted up by the soft fade of the lights. By the way they were close, he could see every detail of the Roman's face, and he drank every single feature like he was a thirsty man.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
10 Feb 2026
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Lucifer pushed away from the wall and moved until he was more or less level with the trapped sinner. His gaze was heavy, with a hungry Alastor didn’t quite recognize. "I'll give you a better focus for your powers. You'll stop trying to antagonize me in front of Charlie. I'll get you out of," he waved a hand at the wall, "this. In return. Right now. You let me have my way with you."
Alastor's jaw had dropped by the end of the King's proposal. He got more out of the deal, but he had to let the King not only use his body...he had to give him control. He didn't know if he could stand that humiliation.
Something must have shown on the deer's face because Lucifer leaned forward and whispered, with an air of confession, "Do you know how often I think about your pretty face?" He moved to Alastor's ear and said, "I dream about the noises I could get you to make."
Series
- Part 1 of Petague's Hazbin One-Shots
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
18 Dec 2024
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Vox has a meeting with Lucifer. The king of hell seems to be more interested in fucking with the deer demon on his lap than talking to him. Not that Vox can blame him.
Series
- Part 3 of Bottom Alastor Week 2024
- Part 40 of My hazbin hotel fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,065
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 470
- Bookmarks:
- 91
- Hits:
- 7,522
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
13 Dec 2024
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The compilation for Bottom Alastor Week 2.0
Day1: Hate-Fucking/Blood Play
No matter how much he hates it, he knows that he can’t outplay the Devil in his own game. And yet he always comes back for more
Day2: Monsterfucking/Choking
He slowly realizes that he doesn't want to hide anymore, letting his personal monster find him in the thickets of his enchanted bayou in time for the next heat wave
Day3: Breeding Kink/Free Use
This type of dirty talk shouldn’t make him so hot and bothered. His mind is changed in a blink of an eye, though
Day4: Pet Play/Exhibitionism
Allowing Lucifer to accompany him in his radio tower, just as he's about to start his live broadcast was either the best or the worst decision of his afterlife. There’s no in between
Day5: Praise/Blasphemy
It takes their mutual role-play kink up to some next level. Who might’ve thought that he could find his revelation in blasphemy?
Day6: Needles/Double Penetration
Overcoming yet another taboo together has never felt that good
Day7: BDSM/Cum Play
Riling Lucifer up for the whole evening bears fruit
Bonus Day: Aftercare/Little Spoon
He said yes.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
11 Dec 2024
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For Charlie's sake, Lucifer and Alastor find another way to vent their frustrations.
Series
- Part 1 of Bottom Alastor Week 2024
- Part 38 of My hazbin hotel fics
- Part 2 of What is this feeling?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,068
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 204
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 3,120
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
10 Dec 2024
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Alastor was simply trying to pass through a wall. An act that he’s done hundreds of times.
How the hell did he become stuck? And who’s going to help him out?
Now somewhat re-written!
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
10 Dec 2024
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How to give Lucifer a heart attack and other evil plans for a sunday evening by katyaKurae
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
06 Dec 2024
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Summary
Alastor wants to experiment with his own boundaries and Lucifer, who by now has become a devoted boyfriend, is more than willing to help him.
At first, though, the proposal catches him by surprise. Just a little bit.
Series
- Part 4 of Translations
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
06 Dec 2024
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Growling Alastor reached forward again, holding his weight up onto Vox’s knee. Grabbing Vox by the wrist pulling it high up into the air, summoning a thin tendril to wrap around it. Pinning it to the back of the couch, just for peace of him he did the same with Vox’s other arm, another small tendril coming to secure Vox’s arm to the arm of the chair.
“You know better.” Alastor mumbled.
OR
Based on De Bergetac's DTIYS sketch for hitting 3K on Bluesky! I cannot draw well but I still wanted to help her celerbrate!
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
29 Nov 2024
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When Vox uses a brand new stealth drone to spy on the rooftop gardens of the new and improved Hazbin Hotel...he gets more than he bargained for.
If I write RadioApple + Static, Vox is getting cucked.
Series
- Part 1 of The Music Between Us
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
28 Nov 2024
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Summary
Alastor is one of the few animal-based sinners that does not have a natural mating cycle. Lucifer can't help but be disappointed by this fact, until Alastor suggests something that may be even better...
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
23 Nov 2024
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Summary
With this particular time of the year approaching with the speed of light again, Alastor seals himself up in his hotel room to suffer through his own humiliation alone and away from the prying eyes. What he hasn't foreseen, though, is the fact that living with a certain King under the same roof might significantly change things. And change things it does, seemingly to the point of no return.
For the first time in his life it seems that it’s him who’s the one being hunted instead of being a hunter himself. However, if the Devil wants to become his mate, he needs to catch him first.
The chase has already begun.
This fic was written for the Hazbin Monsterfucker week 2024, containing a few consecutive prompts, such as: hunting/in nature, belly bump/size difference, knot/very long tongue, mating and additionally a little touch of some eldritch horror just to spice it all up nicely.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
23 Nov 2024
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Summary
Vox was in the middle of a board meeting when an internal alert popped up in his systems. He normally glanced at them for a second, then stored the footage away for later examination.
The footage being whatever bullshit Alastor was up to, usually. And fuck anyone who pointed out that having an alert set up to track the Radio Demon's activities came across a bit stalkerish. He was just being careful, okay?
Today, he glanced at it – and his knee hit the bottom of the table so hard, several mugs of coffee toppled over and spilled their contents onto papers that were probably important. But it didn't fucking matter, because his surveillance system had just caught Alastor ducking into a particularly seedy part of town - where Vox knew he still kept a basement level apartment.
He never used it – unless it was that fucking time.
Series
- Part 3 of RadioStatic One Shots
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
19 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Glasses stay on, dear.” Lucifer’s voice was hoarse as he climbed onto the other man’s lap, towel already forgotten in a pile on the floor.
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I think we can all agree Alastor looks way too good in glasses with his hair up.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
18 Nov 2024
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Summary
Lust had never been Alastor's sin. He much preferred the passion that came with wrath or sating the gluttony he felt when feasting on a fresh kill. But when one is offered something such as this, well, sometimes they just need an excuse to (be) take(n).
“My, my. A bet and a game with the devil himself? My mother always warned me about something like this.”
“As she should.”
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
09 Nov 2024
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Summary
No one has ever looked at Lucifer and thought, “that’s a man with a reasonable amount of things.”
When one has existed for the entirety of human history and has access to infinite storage space—in the form of a massive castle, as well as any number of pocket dimensions—one tends to accumulate items....
All that is to say, Lucifer has a lot of stuff, and anyone close to him knows it. Which is why Alastor was confused to find Lucifer stealing his pillows.Lucifer steals Alastor's pillows, then mostly ignores him for a week. Alastor is concerned that he's done something wrong, but Lucifer was actually working on a surprise for him and lost track of time.
Bookmarked by dumpsterpuppet (cheappuppet)
07 Nov 2024