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The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense. A Starfleet Academy story, set in the ST:XI universe.
Series
- Part 1 of Switch
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 230,867
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 641
- Kudos:
- 3,529
- Bookmarks:
- 1,747
- Hits:
- 173,371
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
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In which Bucky lives the same day over and over again, and circling, circling, comes back to himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,301
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 2,340
- Bookmarks:
- 710
- Hits:
- 31,859
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
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Summary
All NCOs knew: officers were great at noting deficiencies and complaining to no end about them. But it was the NCO’s job to actually fix said deficiencies. However, in Bucky’s experience, most officers walked around wearing their deficiencies on their chests, literally, and Steve Rogers was no exception.
Or, the one where Steve's uniform is jacked up due to noobness and it's on poor suffering Bucky to fix it.
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
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We're All Stupid When We're Hurting by Taste_is_Sweet
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), Marvel, Captain America (Movies)
01 Oct 2015
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Summary
Bucky knew no one would ever put him in the chair again. He knew he was safe here. He knew Tony could fix his arm without hurting him. Of course he did. But it didn't make a damn bit of difference to the terror that shook him like a dog at just the thought of sitting down and stretching his arm out for Tony to fuck with. Might as well stretch out his neck to have his throat slit. Hell, that'd be easier.
Easier to die. Yeah, he was losing his fucking mind.
Series
- Part 14 of You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,983
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 99
- Kudos:
- 1,751
- Bookmarks:
- 220
- Hits:
- 28,310
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
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United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices, radialarch
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
29 Sep 2014
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Summary
The Associated Press @AP
Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,605
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 35
- Comments:
- 1,972
- Kudos:
- 31,147
- Bookmarks:
- 12,786
- Hits:
- 548,562
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
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how we are hungry by liketheroad
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
30 Dec 2014
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Summary
The power of love and all that.
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
Just like Bucky’s always known where to find him, Steve’s body seems to know where it’sgoing without him even needing to think, and after not too long, he finds himself standing in front of the stoop of his old building, where he used to live with his Ma.
Bucky is perched halfway up the steps, elbows propped up on his knees, chin in his hands, watching Steve as he approaches. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, but Steve can’t tell if it’s in nervousness or triumph, isn’t sure which emotion Bucky is struggling to contain.
Steve looks up at him with a worried frown, hands on his hips, and says, “What are you doing here?”
At that, Bucky finally releases his lip and his mouth quirks up into a pleased, lopsided smile. He gets up and walks down the steps to meet Steve, hip knocking into Steve’s once he gets down onto the sidewalk.
Bucky says, “Waiting for you,” voice fondly exasperated, like Steve’s late, like they planned this all along, and Steve realizes something about himself and about Bucky at the same time.
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the horses are coming (so you better run) by oatrevolution
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
04 Nov 2014
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Summary
Your Carter makes me want to break things, but I think she knows you too. It’s no wonder she likes you so much. She met you before the serum, didn’t she? Some people only see you the way you are now. But I remember how you used to be and I love him, too. I wanted you long before you could bench-press cars.
Not that I object to you being strong and healthy and admired far and wide, of course. But if I’m going to be honest, perfectly honest, you as you were would have been more than enough for me.Letters sent: one.
Letters unsent: two.
Letters unwritten: sixteen.Series
- Part 1 of don't give me up
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
“James,” she says today, before you can get out the door, and you stop in your tracks, startled, because she never calls you that. She grabs your arm tight and looks straight into your eyes. “Watch yourself. Do you hear me?”
A laugh stutters out of your throat. “I don’t—”
“You wear your heart on your sleeve. You always have. But you cannot live with Steve and carry on like you have been.” You try to look away and she shakes you, fingers pressing bruises, until you stop. “No, you listen to me. You have to bury that feeling deep and never, ever let on that it’s there, because the world will tear you apart if they find out—”
“Mom, I’m not,” you say, only you don’t know what you’re not, and you stop almost before you’ve begun.
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This Part of Love by Taste_is_Sweet
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Captain America (Movies)
28 Jun 2014
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There was an intimacy to this that Steve had never had before. They slept in the same bed sometimes, sharing warmth in the winter, and it was hard to have any kind of privacy in such a tiny apartment. But this felt bigger than that, somehow. Maybe it was the unthinking trust in the way Bucky let Steve move his head, or just the fact that Steve had never combed anyone else's hair, let alone for someone he cared about so much.
Series
- Part 1 of You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,369
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 106
- Kudos:
- 2,064
- Bookmarks:
- 161
- Hits:
- 29,785
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
07 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
"Jerk," Bucky said without heat. He didn't move, either. He just put his free hand on Steve's ankle, turned his head so that part of his face was leaning against Steve's leg.
"Hey," Steve said. "You falling asleep on me, there?" He realized after he said it that his voice wasn't nearly as light as he'd hoped.
"I'm going to miss you, Steve," Bucky said.
Steve gritted his teeth against the newly painful tightness in his throat. He leaned forward so he could wrap his arms around Bucky's shoulders, crossing them over his chest. Bucky lifted his head so their cheeks were touching. "Yeah." Steve couldn't manage anything else.
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the sweetest sound your lips can make by Cloudnine101
Fandoms: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
10 Jan 2016
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Summary
Five times Poe gave Finn a name, and one time Finn returned the favour.
Series
- Part 5 of Stormpilot Stories
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
05 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
"In all earnest," Poe says, "you're a hero, Finn. You saved a lot of people that day. If it hadn't been for you - "
"Do you wanna kiss me, Poe?"
"Kriff yes, hero," Poe says, and then he does.
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Laws of Conservation by Niobium for AstridV
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
11 Dec 2013
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Summary
The Avengers don't always fight giant things which can be reasoned with, or, Steve and Thor discuss conservation of energy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,003
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 208
- Bookmarks:
- 30
- Hits:
- 1,884
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
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Summary
Whatever else he can say about being in HYDRA's hands, Bucky did get a lot of downtime, a lot of freedom from his thoughts. Recreating that now might cause some problems.
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
05 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
It didn't used to be lack of sleep that did it to him. Part of his therapy has been going over what files they've found on his time with HYDRA. So much was done without his knowledge or consent; breaking it down into the hard facts of drug withdrawal and electroshock therapy and surgical modification is supposed to disarm the shapeless, half-remembered horror of it all. He hasn't told anyone how it really makes him feel: like everything his body remembers as normal is forever after out of his reach.
He can't shock himself into forgetfulness. He can't get his hands on the drugs that made him quiet and calm and focused. He can't even open up his own arm and switch it on or off at will, rip out wires or solder the joints down to slag. There's no icy coffin waiting for him at the end of this mission where he can sleep dreamlessly. For better or worse, his mind is remembering the charred scrapbook pages of ninety years. His body, though, has a shorter attention span, and those are the memories it carries.
So Bucky’s on a mission to recreate what he can and get a little peace down in his bones.
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Into That Good Night by Nonymos
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Interstellar (2014)
02 Mar 2015
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Summary
Steve Rogers has lived for entirely too long—long enough to see the world's end. The heroes are gone, and the Earth is pushing what's left of mankind towards the exit.
But when a makeshift team rises from the ashes, when a mysterious presence all but drags Steve there, he begins to think there may be hope yet. As they shoot for the stars one last time, Steve will get proof yet again that the future is nothing if not an echo of the past.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 73,540
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 4,098
- Kudos:
- 6,578
- Bookmarks:
- 3,411
- Hits:
- 144,089
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
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If You Must Leave by camwolfe
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
08 Nov 2014
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Summary
Sarah Rogers and Winifred Barnes learn early on that there's no point in trying to keep their sons away from each other. Not that they'd try.
The lives of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as seen through the eyes of their mothers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,182
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 192
- Kudos:
- 1,980
- Bookmarks:
- 545
- Hits:
- 18,371
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
05 Feb 2017
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Summary
He wears his pain like a tattoo on his body. Its an anchor, pulling and pulling and pulling. It's a fact of his life, he wakes, he aches, he breathes. He thinks its fine, just fine, ok? Until Steve finds out.
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
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In the Land That Our Grandchildren Knew by Domenika Marzione (domarzione)
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
10 Sep 2013
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Summary
It's the summer of 1939 and the future is only a trolley ride away.
It's the summer of 1943 and the future has Bucky strapped down to a table in a lab somewhere in Italy.
Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, a quartet of pre-movie stories.
Series
- Part 1 of Freezer Burn
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,854
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 156
- Kudos:
- 1,000
- Bookmarks:
- 138
- Hits:
- 17,884
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
They talked about business then, Bucky being a relative veteran of troop movements compared to Steve, the details of what they had and how fast could they go and what they were likely to encounter as far as mounted and dismounted patrols or aerial recon or, god forbid, a bombing run or getting strafed by fighters. Steve understood some of Bucky's questions and was unable to answer many of them. He had already confessed that this had been his first combat action, that he had trained as a soldier but then been turned into a showgirl and everything he'd learned about warfare had been entirely theoretical before he'd convinced Agent Carter to ask Howard Stark to fly him behind enemy lines and do the first parachute jump since he'd gotten his Airborne qualification.
"Jesus, Steve," Bucky muttered as the enormity of what Steve had done -- for him -- sunk in.
"I know," Steve sighed, completely misinterpreting. "That's why I need you to help me cram. I can't--"
They were still sitting close enough that Bucky could elbow Steve in the ribs -- hard, which did nothing because his chest was even harder -- to stop him talking. "That's not what I meant. You're doing fine. Better than fine. Believe you me, getting this many people this far with what we've got -- and what we don't got -- is nothing short of amazing. You've got at least one field grade officer in this pack and a few captains who could pull date-of-commission rank on you and nobody is. Instead, they're asking you what to do next. So stop talking down on yourself -- the way you look now, it sounds even sillier -- and just get on with things. You have a question, you ask. I won't let you do anything too stupid, even if you're an officer now and can't help yourself."
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Take a Deep Breath by enjambament
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
09 May 2014
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Summary
Steve and Sam chase the Winter Soldier's trail of cold cases across Europe. Meanwhile, Bucky keeps an eye on their progress. As his memories return, he begins to find it harder and harder to sleep and there's only one person he can think to turn to. A lot of emotionally repressed bed-sharing ensues.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,202
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 119
- Kudos:
- 4,280
- Bookmarks:
- 1,286
- Hits:
- 55,684
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
“You’re so strong, I forgot,” Bucky slurs. Steve presses his thumb against the base of Bucky’s spine and draws a smooth line to the nape of his neck.
“That’s the horizon line,” Steve murmurs.
“We playing guess the city?”
“This is the 2014 version, not the ’44 version. You think you can handle it?”
“Dunno, guess we’ll have to find out.”
Steve thinks for a minute, before he starts tracing the shapes of buildings across Bucky’s back. After a moment, Bucky says “Stockholm?”
“Got it in one. What gave it away?”
“Little islands,” Bucky mutters, almost gone. Steve rubs his palms flat across Bucky’s back, which is as hard and pale and scared as the rest of him, like he’s wiping a slate clean. He traces a new horizon, lower this time. Bucky is asleep before Steve gets to the first building.
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Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
“Well, night,” Bucky says, and heads back to his bedroom. Natasha leans over to turn on a lamp, and Steve squints in the sudden light, painfully aware that his face is probably bright red.
“Whoa,” says Sam, peering at him. “You okay?”
Steve nods too quickly, blushing even harder. He gets to his feet and brings the empty popcorn bowl into the kitchen, not quite trusting himself to talk.
“Whoomp, there it is,” he hears Sam whisper to Natasha. “Only took him eighty years.”
Judging by the pained yelp that comes a couple seconds later, Natasha elbows Sam in the ribs.
Steve escapes to his own bedroom and doesn't sleep at all.
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Tags
Summary
Bucky is starting to remember the things he'd really rather keep forgetting.
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
“I want to ask you a question,” Bucky says. The doctor inclines his head. “Why did they cover up my face?”
The doctor shrugs. “Why do you suppose?”
“No, I’m asking you. You’re the one with the degree in people’s brains. Why would they do that?”
“Well,” the doctor says, shifting where he sits. “I don’t think it’s possible to know the motives of people who aren’t here to be asked. But I can make something up if you’d like.”
Bucky looks down at his hands. He opens his mouth and then closes it.
“Do you know why they covered your face?” the doctor asks him quietly.
He nods.
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Tags
Summary
In the absence of orders, the man wearing the face of Bucky Barnes must figure out who he will be. The answer, mostly, is "somebody Steve Rogers can love." Nothing so easy should ever take this much work.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,660
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 323
- Kudos:
- 7,142
- Bookmarks:
- 1,979
- Hits:
- 125,041
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
Steve makes an inquiring noise even as he starts to read. Bucky must have been reading off the sheet, because it's a list of all he said and more. He doesn't want to cut his hair. He needs instructions sometimes because he can't always decide what to do and still have the energy to do it. He likes going to the park and to diners for pancakes, but hates the mall and doing laundry. He wants to be called Bucky but he can't stand being told how he used to be different.
It's a compendium of Bucky-as-he-is. His preferences and his needs and his triggers. It's raw, scribbled over in places and switching to other languages. Half the entries look unfinished, tapering off in the middle of phrases or words like Bucky just couldn't take the time to complete a thought before moving on to the next. Steve smoothes his thumb across the chicken scratch. “Sam make you do this?”
Bucky nods and pulls such an exaggerated expression of horror and disdain that Steve can't help laughing. “Yeah. He's pretty big on this sort of thing. You should see him at the meetings.”
“Okay,” Bucky says. He hides behind his hair for a second then looks up at Steve with a determined air. “Can try. Need help.”
Steve pulls Bucky into a hug. It's awkward and perfect, Steve curled around him sideways and trying not to fall off the couch entirely. “I'm not doing so good, Buck.” It's easier to admit with his face buried against Bucky’s neck. He can see why Bucky likes this sort of thing.
“I'm gonna need help too. I lost my best friend, you know? I lost a lot of stuff.” He can feel Bucky freeze up a little, stiff and unsure where he had been melted into the hug. “But I met this swell guy a few months ago and I think we might be going steady. Haven't asked yet though.”
Bucky laughs at that, a rough rattle of noise that makes his shoulders shake. He gives Steve a push and it's enough to finally have him sliding off the couch to crumple on the floor with Bucky. Steve laughs too, but it dies out when Bucky cups his hands around Steve’s face. “Ask.”
“Be my fella?” He touches his nose to Bucky’s. “I know all the best diners between here and the VA.” Bucky’s answer is a kiss that leaves Steve’s ears buzzing.
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Tags
Summary
The other problem is that Steve loves him, and Bucky isn't sure he remembers how to love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,447
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 277
- Kudos:
- 3,176
- Bookmarks:
- 1,210
- Hits:
- 67,604
Bookmarked by cheesethesecond
04 Feb 2017
Bookmarker's Notes
It takes him a while to figure out what to say. He doesn't write I'm sorry, even though the words sit in his mouth like stones, because if he were truly sorry he wouldn't be leaving. Instead he runs through things Steve would want to know and answers them as best he can: I'm not going to hurt anyone. I'm not taking money from anyone who deserves to have it. It's not your fault I'm going.
He doesn't write, I'll be back, even though there's a small part of him, he's realizing only on the verge of leaving, that wants to believe it. I'll be—he hesitates over safe, writes instead alive. Don't look for me, he writes, and then squeezes in front of it Please.
Bucky tapes the note to the inside front door, during a day Steve is out so Steve doesn't have anything else to fear from the night, and then he's gone.