diner_drama
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Promise you won't write by diner_drama
Fandoms: Suits (US TV 2011), Fellow Travelers - Thomas Mallon, Fellow Travelers (TV)
21 Dec 2025
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After spending the last 48 hours trying to bargain, trick, and bully his way into prison in Mike Ross's place, Harvey Specter was running on empty. He'd reluctantly accepted the premise that human beings required sleep in order to survive, so he was looking forward to collapsing on his couch for a couple of hours before springing back into action.
Unfortunately, his couch was occupied by his favorite problem.
"How the hell do people keep getting into my apartment?" sighed Harvey.
Mike stood up, offering him a glass of Harvey's own Scotch. "You have a doorman, Harvey, it's a single point of failure. Plus, everyone you know makes a living persuading people to do things."
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"Well, thank you," he responded with a thin, humourless laugh. He closed the file he was working on and got ready to leave before he said something he'd regret. "I guess I should get my book and take some notes on Harvey Specter's dating tips. I'm sure you told yourself that at twenty-five and thirty and thirty-five. And I'm sure you'll be telling yourself that when you're fifty."
"God, I hope not," said Harvey softly, meeting his eyes as he turned around.
The urge to twist the knife evaporated as quickly as it had arrived, and this rare display of vulnerability stopped Mike's exit plans in their tracks. "Is the great Harvey Specter admitting that he has a romantic side?"
Harvey took a couple of steps towards him, unfastening his jacket with a practised, automatic movement, and then leaned against the edge of the desk, giving him a sidelong look out of his disarming, warm brown eyes. "If you tell anyone, I will deny it," he joked. "But I always assumed that when I met the right guy or girl, that they'd feel more important to me than the job."
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Merlin may not know much, but he knows not to believe any old prophecy a dragon tells him, especially without proof. He came to Camelot to determine his own fate, not to blindly follow his supposed destiny.
He even turns down King Uther's offer to work as a servant for the insufferable Prince Arthur, but they just can't seem to stop crossing paths.
The last thing Merlin wanted while he was on his hands and knees with his head in a bush, searching for the elusive snake, was to hear Arthur's pompous voice from behind him.
"What are you doing?" scoffed the prince.
"You haven't seen a snake around here, by any chance?" asked Merlin, extracting himself from the bush with difficulty and sitting back on his heels.
"I'm sorry, one of my knights is in need of medical attention, and the physician's assistant is searching for a new pet?"
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To save Merlin the trouble of having to maintain the costly ageing spell while he wrests Gwen from Morgana's control at the Cauldron of Arianrhod, Gaius tells Arthur that the sorcerer he has found is a woman.
He doesn't warn Arthur that the sorcerer in question is a raven-haired beauty with a pair of blue eyes that a man could drown in, nor that the spell to free Gwen requires more than just some magic words.
Merlin/Gwen/Arthur gender-swap one-shot. An alternate version of 5x09, "With All My Heart". The BBC are cowards for not making this episode incredibly sexy.
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Following your feet to try and outrun your fate by diner_drama
Fandoms: The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself (TV)
29 Dec 2022
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Sitting with his back against the kitchen wall, Nathan stared at the fridge and imagined that he could hear Soul's heart beating through the white plastic door. The blood rushing in his ears was so loud he was startled when Gabriel appeared next to him, hair still damp from the shower and a stack of clean clothes in his arms.
"Cheer up," he said, nudging Nathan's side with his boot. "If you stare at it any harder, it will burst into flames."
"Shut up," Nathan replied without bite, resting his head against Gabriel's knee and letting out an exhausted sigh. "I'm thinking."
"Don't hurt yourself," Gabriel murmured. Nathan scowled up at him, but couldn't help answering his smile with one of his own.
Annalise shuffled out of the bathroom, chugging a glass of water and looking grey in the face as her father's blood dried in her hair. Gabriel walked over to her, and in his peripheral vision Nathan saw him press the clothes into her hands and press a kiss to her forehead.
Recent series
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The Rise Bakery by diner_drama
Fandom Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
25 Feb 2020
- Words:
- 12,553
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 47
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- Words:
- 10,463
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 58
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On the bedside table is a framed picture of Shane and Rose. Hugging, noses touching.
“What is this?” Ilya asks, grip tightening on the back of Shane’s neck. It’s not in character. He needs to know that this is not what he thinks it is, or Shane will not leave this room in one piece.
Shane whimpers, long and pitiful. His hands clench into the bedsheets, once, twice. Bracing. Then:
“My wife,” he whispers.
Or: Fix-It for Ilya’s Rose Landry related pain, but its a perverted sex freak role play with a twist that Shane cooks up in his pretty little head.
Series
- Part 2 of quantum mechanics
Bookmarked by diner_drama
19 Apr 2026
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Who.
Who taught Shane about this.
Ilya is going to kill someone, and then himself. Not Shane. Never Shane. But he is going to have to kill someone with his bare hands.
Or: Shane invents advanced blowjob positions with his own beautiful freaky mind, thereby unintentionally turning Ilya into a danger to himself and others.
- Language:
- English
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- 4,889
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- 1/1
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- 358
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- 14,645
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Bookmarked by diner_drama
16 Apr 2026
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While in search of a roommate, Ilya comes across an interesting Facebook Marketplace listing from Shane Hollander.
- Language:
- English
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- 6,676
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- 1/1
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- 32,532
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Bookmarked by diner_drama
14 Apr 2026
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“Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”
“Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”
Hayden stops, so Shane does too.
“You don’t know who that was?”
Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer.
“Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious.
Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”
“At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke.
“He’s a porn star, man.”
“A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?”
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Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.
- Language:
- English
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- 21,214
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- 2/2
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- 1,019
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Bookmarked by diner_drama
14 Apr 2026
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“So,” Ilya says, dragging the word out. He’s swiping at non-existent crumbs on the counter, avoiding his eyes. “You have dinner at parents on Christmas, yes?”
“Yeah.”
Ilya nods. “I can house-sit while you are away. Make place pretty, if you have decorations. Make it less boring.”
Shane’s eyebrows fly up. “What? You don’t want to come with?”
Finally, Ilya looks up at him. Hesitantly, he asks, “You want me to come with?”
Frowning, Shane says, “I– yeah. Yeah, of course. You think I invited you here just so you could spend Christmas alone?”
Looking away, Ilya shrugs. “I am intruder here, Hollander. You have family. I do not. Makes situation… difficult, maybe. You forget the world thinks we are rivals.”
“Not difficult,” Shane says immediately. “You want to come, you’re coming.”
Or: Ilya's in Montreal alone during the week leading up to the Winter Classic. Shane doesn't let him spend Christmas alone.
Series
- Part 4 of cjo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,611
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 19
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Bookmarked by diner_drama
13 Apr 2026