1 - 20 of 52 Bookmarks by dirkjakefromhell
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There's no happy ending for people like us. We exist to be misery lit.
(Part of the DirkJake Big Bang 2021, with artwork by @mayceart)
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One of very few things that Dirk and Jake have in common is their distaste for long girl stories.
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"4.13: Any unaffiliated individuals harmed in the process of making The Deliveries will be transported to the North Pole for medical attention, whereupon they will not be released until deemed in good health by a medical professional."
Or, Santa Jake runs over Dirk with his sleigh, then takes him back to the North Pole. (For treatment. Really. The fact that Jake is insanely horny for the guy is completely unrelated.) Deeply unserious Christmas sex shenanigans ensue.
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“I think I’ll go to the audition, just to… Check things out.” So Jake’s made his mind up, then. You can’t help but wonder why he called, maybe he needed to rationalize this and you just made things a thousand times worse. You swallow and breathe in a square to calm down, which never works for you.
“Yeah, uh, okay. Cool. Good luck, man.” Smooth, Strider. Jake won’t suspect a thing, you really are amazing.
Nepo baby Dirk Strider is trying to date the love of his life as Jake deals with his dream for being an actor not being quite as good as he expected. Dirk's dad adds fuel to the fire.
Finished!
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
15 Oct 2025
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if i leave my grin behind remind me (that we're all mad here) (and it's okay) by the_ragnarok
Fandoms: Homestuck
28 Oct 2024
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Jake's life has gone very much downhill recently. He is dealing with it... badly. His ex's friend comes to check up on him.
Series
- Part 1 of autistic burnout
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jade tells her fellas what to do. wink
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- Part 3 of get happy
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
06 May 2024
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Earth C is full of promise and she cannot wait to make the most of it. There are babies to alchemize, deep space voyages to forget and boys to kiss. As she and Karkat stand in front of an endless ocean, Jade hopes he wants to as well.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
05 May 2024
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Follow the everyday lives of 16yo. teenage losers and their growing crushes on girls…who have no idea that they share the same feelings! As John, Karkat and Dave learn about each other's secret crushes, they decide it's time to make a move. Let's see who's the bravest! Vriska, Jade and Jane still haven't told anyone, and they intend to keep it that way! Will they be able to get closer to the boy they admire, all by themselves? From nerdy kids to growing men and women, how will they handle their first steps into maturity? Exploring topics such as gender, family and physical attraction, it's not easy being a teen. Even harder when your gamer besties are aliens!
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
05 May 2024
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You're still Dirk Strider, and that went better than expected.
Except now you think you'll give sex in your shower-of-debatable-size a shot, which is pretty counter-intuitive in all honesty. All you wanted to was clean up a bit, but you really can't say no to Jake when he offers to help.
(Sequel to that other fic I wrote but you can probably read this on its own)
Series
- Part 2 of College NSFW DirkJake (Pumpkin Spice)
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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John and Dave haven’t seen each other in years. John accidentally sends a script over to Dave’s studio. What could possibly happen next ?!?!?!?!
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- Part 14 of rps with beef
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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A tale of MYSTERY, of ROMANCE, of DIALOGUE PATHS, all presented in beautiful 800x600 resolution!
JAKE ENGLISH ADVENTURE is a creatively titled fangame that plonks the player into the worn hiking boots of our beloved Jake English. With episode one, guide Jake as he returns home from one of his numerous walkabouts around the globe and finds a mystery brewing right under his feet in the form of an enigmatic neighbor living one floor down.
Some more dramatic but contextless words to catch your attention: SCARY RED VANS. CHOICE BABES. MEAN DOG OWNERS. LEET HAXXOR QUEENS. LOCKED DIARIES. THAT MOMENT IN THE MOVIE WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON WHO IS GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND BOY HOWDY HOW IT GOES ALL SOFT FOCUS WITH THE SMOOTH LIGHTING AM I RIGHT? SHORTS ILLUSTRATED MAGAZINE.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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Don’t beat up your best friends robot. [[DISCONTIUED]] by orphan_account
Fandoms: Homestuck
22 Apr 2024
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Jake is sad and beats the shit out of brobot L
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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Terezi Pyrope <3 Dave Strider
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Terezi paused, contemplating what Dave had just said before abruptly licking his whole length, her gray tongue like fine sandpaper against his sensitive flesh. Dave’s breath caught as a wave of pleasure crested over his body, his heart beating like a caged bird within his ribs. Terezi gave a wide, toothy grin as a mischievous spark lite up her sightless eyes.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Growing up is all about learning. Learning who you are. Learning who other people are. And learning who they really are. On an asteroid, hurtling between universes, humans and trolls alike are just beginning to realize what is going on behind closed doors and in dark halls.
You are now Dave Strider. And you are dating an alien. Awesome.
Series
- Part 1 of Time-Bomb
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Terezi is determined to reciprocate Dave's going down on her in the closest way she can.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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((This, as anything before it are so old it pains me. I did hardly ANY writing to the story and will likely not continue it. Since it was a very rushed piece of work yet also my most popular- I hope to soon publish something a little less eye burning))
An evening out on the town with your moirail doesn't seem all that bad. At first it sounds like she would really love your company and has truly missed you. Though once finally being convinced it seems inevitable that things will always remain Pale. but who knows, maybe there is someone out there for you.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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orphaning this bc i literally wrote it when i was 15 about 15 year olds having sex. im an adult now, and kinda just do not want it on my profile lmao. My fondness for them still lingers though but i dont really wanna read/write abt them in that way now lmao.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Passing time on the Meteor, Dave see's something disturbing, bothers Karkat, weird sexual tension abounds.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024