dirty_muggle
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On the night of a winter’s full moon in her fifth year, Hermione climbs the stairs of Number 12 Grimmauld Place to find the wolf and the dog she’s been fantasizing about since summertime. She’s not sure that they’ll let her in, but if they do, she’ll let them do whatever they like. Little does she know, whatever they like lasts a whole lot longer than a single night.
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Hermione always dreamed of working at the Ministry of Magic and making a difference in the magical world. But several years after the war’s end, her dream career has become a meaningless slog, and her personal life isn’t much better.
Severus survived the war and was acquitted of a permanent stay in Azkaban, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t in prison. Reviled by magical Britain, Severus lives alone, friendless and jobless except for one small, shady contract.
Desperate for something different, Hermione heads impulsively to Knockturn Alley, where a newspaper and a chance encounter with a stranger open her eyes to sex work. It isn’t long until she’s heading to Knockturn’s brothel, The Scarlet Witch, with ideas of undertaking a drastic change. Along the way she runs into Severus, who’s taken to reading in pubs to try and make his life feel less pathetic—when he can get out of bed. Angry at the world that’s rejected them, they form a close friendship. But when the magical world begins weighing in on Hermione’s new career and their friendship leads to feelings, they start to wonder: are people like them allowed happiness and love, or is the best they can hope for a half-life lived alone in the shadows of the world?
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Returning for her final year of Hogwarts, Hermione volunteers her body to help heal those traumatized by the war. Professor Snape needs her help more than anyone.
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Hermione is desperate for a decent shag. Severus meets qualifications. A brief encounter leads to Hermione agreeing to become Severus’s personal sex toy. Their arrangement is supposed to be a bit of casual fun, but the insatiable pair soon find themselves experimenting in ways they never could have imagined when they started, and their relationship growing into something it was never meant to be.
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EVIL AUTHOR DAY 2025 - At the behest of the Malfoys, Doctor Snape has developed a treatment to reprogram brandstock, slaves of the Welspryng coven, helping them to flourish in their new roles. The slaves are said to strengthen the group of pureblood families who make up the coven, through an ancient tradition called the Tributes. Somehow, Hermione Granger has discovered the rituals and she's determined to take part.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 4
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- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Demons are beings of lust. Hermione is the Ministry of Magic's lone demonologist, and one of the best in the world thanks to her demon lover Pheros. This is a series about bargains, about choices and destiny, but mostly about a lot of weird, wild, and extreme sex. Each can be read as a stand-alone piece, but there is an overarching plot and I wrote them with the intention of being read as a whole.
- Words:
- 54,563
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 28
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They're steadily climbing the table of the Prem, Jamie's playing the best football of his life, things would be GREAT, except Roy won't stop putting his hands on him and his dad's gonna start drinking again any minute now. So if Jamie's a little tense, it's not his fault.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,321
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 271
- Kudos:
- 2,467
- Bookmarks:
- 640
- Hits:
- 25,078
Bookmarked by dirty_afcrichmond (dirty_muggle)
04 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Massage therapy as flirting and foreplay. Slow burn. Lovely fic!
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Summary
Roy Kent's career is, frankly, going down the tubes. He's on a Championship side, he's benched, and whenever he does play, he's shit. Thankfully, his ex-girlfriend, Keeley, is a PR wizard and has an idea to get Roy enough media attention that fans demand Roy gets minutes: a fake relationship with someone famous and beautiful, i.e. recent Lust Conquers All-reject Jamie Tartt. The only problem is that, all too soon, Roy's trapped in a fake relationship with perhaps the only person he's ever truly wanted something real with.
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Jamie from not long after the semi-final at Wembley finds himself back in the body of his younger self.
Now back in the early days of Ted Lasso's coaching days at AFC Richmond, Jamie is determined to be a better version of himself and not get sent back to Manchester.
Except, making changes when no one believes him is hard.
And now he doesn't have a therapist anymore even though he probably needs one now more than ever.
And it's not like he can just block his dad out of nowhere, is it?
Series
- Part 1 of When The Rain Stops
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 315,193
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Comments:
- 1,745
- Kudos:
- 1,825
- Bookmarks:
- 440
- Hits:
- 62,025
Bookmarked by dirty_afcrichmond (dirty_muggle)
28 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
SO SO GOOD. My fave sort of hurt/comfort. Emotional, great characterizations in multi pov.
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Summary
Headmaster Snape disappears during a nightly patrol, and the Deputy Head calls on Snape’s ex-research collaborator for help finding him. Unfinished business, unreliable memories, and terrible puns abound.
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Death was painless, Sirius said. Quicker and easier than falling asleep.
Hermione thinks about this often over the next three years. If it's true, or if Sirius was trying to make things easier for Harry. She reckons she's got about a century left before she needs to worry about that.
Until she doesn't.
Series
- Part 1 of Entropy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,746
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 439
- Bookmarks:
- 79
- Hits:
- 6,096
Bookmarked by dirty_muggle
15 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Made me cry. A beautiful story about grief.