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BatMuppet by Demorra (thebibliosphere)
Fandoms: The Muppets - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
16 Oct 2025
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“It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights,
It’s time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!”The manor ought to have been silent as the grave when Bruce returned, so it caught him by surprise when he heard a familiar jingle drifting through the empty halls. He paused at the foot of the grand staircase, head tilted to the side as he listened to the Muppet Show theme song jangling away happily. It sounded like it was coming from the first floor, which meant the most likely origin was Dick's bedroom. Which would be fine, if it also wasn't almost three am.
*
What do you do when you come home late and find the orphan you've taken guardianship of is crying alone in his room watching the Muppets?
You sit your brooding ass down and join him.
And if you later end up on a talk show with said Muppets and end up embroiled in a running gag about your playboy persona being in a throuple with Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog, well, it's not like anyone's ever going to believe you're Batman now...Based on the Tumblr shitpost.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,956
- Chapters:
- 4/?
- Comments:
- 788
- Kudos:
- 1,588
- Bookmarks:
- 341
- Hits:
- 11,833
Bookmarked by hoomhum
10 Dec 2025
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Perhaps a little too effective by MomImBusy
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
17 Jun 2025
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Inspired by this Tumblr post by abcdefghjklmpqrobin: Au where Batman doesn't want to tell the Justice League his secret identity but it's because he's really embarrassed about the things he's done as Bruce Wayne.
5 times Bruce Wayne made Batman miserable + 1 time he made the Justice League miserable.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
10 Dec 2025
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A Place To Rest by Hearthburn
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Accidental Warlord series - Inexplicifics
23 Dec 2025
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In the horrifying wake of the Temple sacking, Obi-Wan finds four terrified younglings still alive, and flings himself into the Force on a wish and a prayer, hoping to find a place of safety for them all. He finds a better one than he could have dreamed of, an oasis of kindness in a galaxy gone Dark and mad. But this oasis has its own strangeness and secrets. If Obi-wan and the children can adapt, they may have a safe place to rest, heal, and even restart the Order. But adapting means Obi-wan must face some hard truths about himself, Anakin, and the Order as they knew it. The results will change the fate of the galaxy, forever.
Fic is finished and will update Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
10 Dec 2025
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Summary
The good part about knowing Eskel was that Geralt did not have to pay the $10 entrance fee on his way into the party. The bad part about knowing Eskel was that he was immediately dragged to the sign-in table, given a name tag that he we would have rather done without, introduced to about seven people whose names he immediately forgot, and shown the giant white board where people were writing their names, things they were looking for in a scene and what they were wearing, which, cumulatively, was more than Geralt was prepared to handle first thing.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
07 Dec 2025
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I don't need a parachute, baby, if I've got you.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
03 Dec 2025
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Wasn't Looking But I Found You Anyway by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
27 Jul 2024
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Against his better judgement, Lambert buys a Cat witcher at an auction. He's intending to either kill the Cat - if it turns out he was involved in the Tournament - or let him go free. But of course it turns out to be a little more complicated than that.
Aiden is not expecting to be rescued by a very grumpy Wolf, but really, he's not complaining.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,082
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 379
- Kudos:
- 3,864
- Bookmarks:
- 601
- Hits:
- 33,664
Bookmarked by hoomhum
23 Nov 2025
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Too Good To Be True by YorkieDee
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), The Witcher (TV)
13 Sep 2021
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Summary
Non-human races have been enslaved and forced into obedience through compulsion spells. The Wolf School Witchers have been enslaved for years until they are gifted to a young viscount. Lord Pankratz claims he doesn't approve of slavery, but he still keeps the Witchers for himself.
Can Eskel, Geralt, and Lambert trust this noble when he tells them he wants to treat them like equals? Or is he playing a game much more dangerous than they realize?
Bookmarked by hoomhum
20 Oct 2025
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Blood Of The Covenant by EvanescentDreamer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
26 Sep 2025
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Summary
Lambert gave up on bringing his father to justice a long time ago. But now that he knows someone else is at risk, he is willing to resort to desperate measures. The kind you can’t talk about without being called insane.
Magic.
If it works, the summoned Witchers will make his father pay for everything he’s done. If it doesn’t…well, Lambert will get over feeling like a fucking idiot, and come up with a different plan. He figures he has nothing left to lose, so he might as well try.
He could never have imagined how that choice will change his life forever.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
09 Oct 2025
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Summary
Their relationship becomes much more heated once Thorin takes Bilbo home in his truck. (Comic)
Bookmarked by hoomhum
25 Aug 2025
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Summary
Johnny shifts, making himself comfortable, or trying to, and something foul clenches in his heart. He watches him draw his uninjured leg up, flatten it down again, bend his knee to splay it, straighten it again, watches him tuck his arm under the pillow, put both on his chest, and sigh before star fishing out.
It's not for Ghost to watch, but he does. It's not for Ghost to note the bulge in his shorts that are shifting higher on his thick, hairy thighs from all the moving around, but he does.
And he should look away when Johnny huffs out a breath he can almost hear and cups himself, but he doesn't. It'll help settle him down.
It's private.
Soap breaks his foot and is sent away to heal. In repayment for the injury, Ghost offers him his nearby flat. It provides fast access to the base and task force, staying conveniently close. It just so happens to provide Ghost some different access, too.
In which good intentions aren't all that good, bad ones are just what the doctor ordered, and games lay bare what's been carefully hid. In a spiral of obsession and guilt, desire and fear, some guidance isn't amiss. But will it be enough?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 189,617
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 498
- Kudos:
- 960
- Bookmarks:
- 218
- Hits:
- 33,178
Bookmarked by hoomhum
15 Jun 2025
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Tasâlalkhud by determamfidd for fishydwarrows
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
03 Aug 2021
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Summary
Where you go, there will I follow.
Gimli is not good at waiting. He will throw himself into danger a thousand times or more without fear in his heart - but to watch, and to wait? Helpless, formless, voiceless and utterly useless?
No, Gimli is not good at waiting.
Thankfully, he has a guide. A mentor who has learned these lessons the hard way. Gimli will not spend eighty years in the learning of them.
But perhaps he might learn a few others.
Series
- Part 22 of Sansûkh: The Appendices
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,744
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 202
- Kudos:
- 2,885
- Bookmarks:
- 704
- Hits:
- 43,095
Bookmarked by hoomhum
04 Mar 2025
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Summary
Ghost nods to himself when the straps are secured, then comes to Soap’s head. He grips his jaw firmly and pets over his ears, his hair, until Soap is doe-eyed and lax in his hold. “I’m going to get my examination tools now,” Ghost tells him, his voice low and hypnotic, his eyes so dark they’re almost black, unblinking. He’s so strong, his presence is enough to bring Soap to heel so easily. Soap nods dumbly, wetting his lips. “Some of the items I want to use may be uncomfortable, even frightening at first. I want you to tell me if anything hurts, or if you’re in genuine distress. Otherwise, I’ll continue my exam until I’m satisfied.” He pauses to let the words sink in. “Do you understand, Johnny?”
Soap’s mouth is so wet with saliva, his tongue so heavy. He swallows and makes himself nod. “Aye.” Ghost arches a brow. “I understand. Sir. I’ll be good.”
“I know you will,” Ghost soothes, his fingers brushing Soap’s brow, the bridge of his nose, his blushing cheeks, the corners of his mouth. Under the hinge of his jaw to make him show his throat. “You’re a good boy, I know you are.”
Bookmarked by hoomhum
29 Jan 2025
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Summary
Or: John "Soap" MacTavish's extremely case-specific guide to wooing an idiot dragon.
Series
- Part 1 of Incompatible Mating Practices
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,283
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 555
- Kudos:
- 2,470
- Bookmarks:
- 506
- Hits:
- 30,538
Bookmarked by hoomhum
27 Jan 2025
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What Sweetness You Can by Willowanderer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
22 Feb 2023
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Summary
There are Bees in the walls of Kaer Morhen
What was supposed to be a short bit about bees and honey for Valintine's day got out of hand and I just chased it around for a week.
(sorry, minor edits; always edit in a different font than you wrote in)
Bookmarked by hoomhum
08 Jan 2025
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A Howling Good Time by EvanescentDreamer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
22 Oct 2024
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Summary
As a rule, Geralt only sleeps with people outside of his pack when he’s on long contracts away from home. Even then, he limits himself to one-night stands with humans to avoid any unnecessary entanglements. It’s never been a problem, but things get complicated when he meets Jaskier, because Geralt can’t bring himself to stop seeing him.
Then feelings get involved, and Geralt is truly fucked, because he realizes he wants to keep Jaskier.
That means Geralt has to somehow convince Jaskier not only that werewolves are real, but that he is one. And if that doesn’t blow up in his face, he then has to confess that he sleeps with his pack, and that if Jaskier joins, they all share.
Geralt is certain there’s not a single chance this can turn out well.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
01 Nov 2024
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Falling out of the Sky by artistsfuneral
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
23 Oct 2024
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Summary
After there is nothing left in Lambert's life he goes to sleep in the ruins of Kaer Morhen and wakes up falling out of the sky and into another timeline.
Here, Kaer Morhen still stands and the School of the Wolf exists unaware of it's impending tragedy. While Lambert tries to figure out how to get back to his own timeline he starts to find his place in the unfamiliar keep.
Will he leave or will he take one look at the isolated trainees and decide to fix things?Series
- Part 1 of Lambert Time Travel au
Bookmarked by hoomhum
27 Oct 2024
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Love is Blind by LemmingDancer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
08 Mar 2022
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Eskel goes on a dating show where the contestants fall in love without seeing each other. With his scars, it seems like an ideal choice. But even if conversations about goats manage to charm someone into getting engaged to Eskel, he’s afraid they’ll throw the ring back in his disfigured face as soon as they see him. It’s going to be a disaster.
Jaskier recruits Geralt for some reality TV show where he’ll be forced to flirt with strangers. On camera. Even if someone does fall in love with him despite the pained grunts that are his primary mode of communication, there’s still the problem of his hair, his skin, his eyes. It’s going to be a disaster.
But oh, what a beautiful disaster.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
15 Oct 2024
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Three Silvers (Priceless) by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
13 Jul 2024
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When Eskel saves a nobleman from a wyvern, his reward is the indenture of the noble's huntsman.
Lambert is not exactly thrilled to have his indenture handed over to a witcher - until it turns out the witcher is kinder than Lambert could possibly have expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,924
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 542
- Kudos:
- 3,302
- Bookmarks:
- 559
- Hits:
- 29,636
Bookmarked by hoomhum
29 Sep 2024
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The last three Wolves are kept as trophies in the Emperor's court, restrained by magical collars. But chained doesn't mean tame, and every magical binding can be broken...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,326
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 1,723
- Bookmarks:
- 147
- Hits:
- 7,045
Bookmarked by hoomhum
28 Sep 2024
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Cursebreaker Extraordinaire by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
28 Feb 2023
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Summary
Eskel has gotten himself cursed into an actual wolf. It's up to Lambert to put him to rights.
Bookmarked by hoomhum
29 Sep 2024