12 Bookmarks by joharkness
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“What do you mean you have never had an orgasm? Don't you have sex with your husband?” Rio stares at her in disbelief. Agatha gingerly removes a strand of hair from her cheek. The expression on Rio's face is priceless, even if she'd like to avoid feeling pitied. “I think the last time we had sex was when I got pregnant with my son.”
A Bohner Family Reunion AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,058
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 56
- Kudos:
- 523
- Bookmarks:
- 41
- Hits:
- 4,709
Bookmarked by joharkness
27 Nov 2025
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Belatedly, Agatha realizes she’s nervous. She never gave Rio an answer one way or the other– not deeming the situation serious enough to unblock her number– but now she has the sudden burning fear that maybe Rio won’t be here after all and she’ll have to do this by herself.
She thinks she might throw up her coffee in the decorative, half-dead bushes lining the parking lot at the thought, but then Agatha sees her.
Leaning against the building just to the side of the front doors, face drawn in concentration beneath her sunglasses as she talks into her cell phone, her free arm crossed over her chest while her hand gesticulates in time with her words. She taps one brown loafer-clad foot against the concrete, clearly displeased with whoever she's talking to. The sunlight catches on the defined muscles of her arms, golden bronze and mouthwatering.
The moment Rio sees her she lifts the sunglasses from her face, meeting Agatha’s eyes and quickly wrapping up her conversation. She was waiting for me, Agatha realizes. Unsure what to do with that, she simply crosses the lot to meet her.
Or: The one where an estranged Agatha & Rio find themselves joining a class action lawsuit together.
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Agatha couldn’t move. It was her, she was sure of it—the dancer from the club, on the night of the last day of school. A stripper was standing in her classroom, addressing her second-graders. A stripper who, until this very moment, had been filed neatly into the category of things Agatha would never think about again. (Except that one time, when she got too drunk on the Fourth of July. And that other time, when she got too drunk on the Seventh of July, which was just a normal Tuesday.) And yet here she was, in practical jeans and a black tee, looking every inch like a competent professional.
OR
First ten minutes of Afternoon Delight meets...the American public school system? (THEY'RE TEACHERS)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 145,288
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,115
- Kudos:
- 2,003
- Bookmarks:
- 462
- Hits:
- 56,233
Bookmarked by joharkness
21 Oct 2025
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Based on her age and the fact that Rio knows all the attendings, she must be a new intern.
But what intern shows up as a welcome BBQ for their new job in that.
Her high waisted jean shorts cut off at her butt. No, above her butt, the sloped edges of her ass hanging out the back. Despite the fact that she looks no more than 5’4”, her legs look impossibly long. The expanse of smooth, milky skin stretches down to her feet, adored in high heeled wedges completely inappropriate for the venue. Her brunette hair is tied up in a ponytail, but still reaches halfway down her back in messy waves. She’s wearing a deep purple crochet top, cropped to above her belly button. As she heads for the cooler without a word, Rio can see the criss-crossed ties forming three perfect bows across her bare back.
Christ.
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OR
---Dr. Rio Vidal, internal medicine attending and her annoyingly charming intern, Agatha Harkness.
Older Rio/younger Agatha as doctors AU; ie if the coven was like Grey's Anatomy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,749
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Comments:
- 826
- Kudos:
- 1,510
- Bookmarks:
- 300
- Hits:
- 62,385
Bookmarked by joharkness
29 Sep 2025
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A voice echoed in her head. "A new addition, I see."
Rio stiffened. That… had been inside her mind.
"Don’t look around like that, nobody can hear me but you." The voice was low, feminine, with an unmistakable edge of amusement.
Rio turned her attention to the professor’s table. The woman was still watching her, a wicked smirk curling at her lips.
Fuck. What a bitch.
Bookmarked by joharkness
29 Sep 2025
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Summary
There are side effects to almost dying that Bradshaw never saw coming and navigating the slow discovery of Seresin's multiple layers is one of them. This is the story of them coming home to themselves and making sure they live to see another day.
Bookmarked by joharkness
25 Sep 2025
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it's a cruel summer with you (i love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?) by gxtawaycxr
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
04 Aug 2025
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She glanced around the camp like she didn’t even recognize it. Like she hadn’t spent the last three summers boiling away with these same counselors in this same forest.
Rio stubbed out her cigarette on the railing, jaw tight. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“Language,” Lilia muttered.
Agatha pulled a monogrammed duffel from the trunk, slung it over one shoulder like a model in a travel ad, and finally decided to approach.
“Good morning,” she said, voice too chipper.
“It was,” Rio shot back.
Agatha turned, smirked. “Oh, you’re still here. How quaint.”
OR
agatha and rio get forced to bunk together as camp counselors in the fateful summer of 1985. they hate each other. chaos (and gay-os) ensues.
Bookmarked by joharkness
15 Sep 2025
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When Agatha receives a text from a stranger in the middle of the night, she never expects a wrong number to turn into the most complicated love story of her life.
Or: The wrong number AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,719
- Chapters:
- 10/30
- Comments:
- 447
- Kudos:
- 1,171
- Bookmarks:
- 180
- Hits:
- 30,682
Bookmarked by joharkness
09 Jun 2025
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i wonder which cup you'll drink from (i hope it's mine) by empathyhoodie
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
26 Mar 2025
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Summary
“And where would I do that, moron?”
“I don’t know!” Rio flounders, “In the shower?”
“You think getting myself off quietly in the shower, in the room next to your bedroom, having to be quick so the hot water doesn’t run out… is conducive to good orgasms?”
Well, when she puts it like that.
OR
Rio and Agatha aren’t friends. They’ll probably never be friends—they’re just wired that way. But that doesn’t stop their mutual friends from suggesting Agatha live with Rio while her divorce finalizes. If it sounds like a recipe for disaster, it probably is.
Series
- Part 1 of slide away
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,947
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 507
- Kudos:
- 2,205
- Bookmarks:
- 491
- Hits:
- 34,914
Bookmarked by joharkness
28 Mar 2025
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of course i don't love her, i'm a republican! by madelalaine
Fandoms: Desperate Housewives
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
Bree Hodge is not an alcoholic – she got over that years ago. Her drinking is completely, one hundred percent under control.
Katherine – damned Katherine, perfect Katherine, witty, resilient, endlessly strong Katherine – comes right along and shatters that old illusion.
Alternatively: Katherine moves in to help Bree, and that's all, except it isn't.
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- Words:
- 52,322
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 334
Bookmarked by joharkness
21 Dec 2024
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someday we will all be lying on our backs (free at last from income tax) by paddingtonfan69
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
30 Nov 2024
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Summary
They’re staring at each other over the now evenly stacked forms at the table. Agatha’s mask has fully slipped and Rio is fascinated by what’s underneath it, an unruly sort of anger, a sharp passion. Agatha looks like she wants to tear Rio from limb to limb. And Rio, god help her, would probably let her.
“Moving on to property taxes…”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Agatha lets out. “Don’t you have a life?”
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Rio is the best IRS agent in her field. Agatha refuses to pay her taxes. A love story for the ages.
Series
- Part 1 of death and taxes