malfoyesque
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Summary
Curse-breaker Hermione Granger has an absolutely terrible day at work.
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Cormac McLaggen was laid out on his side, one leg bent, a velour robe barely covering the tops of his thighs as he stretched himself out on a chaise lounge. In his hand was a glass, containing what looked to be a martini.
“Hermione,” he purred. “I’ve been expecting you.”
Oh, God, she was going to throw up. -
Actually, Cormac, you're obsessed with me by malfoyesque for RaveRocky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
Cormac gets what he always wanted.
A very ill-advised companion oneshot to Immaculate Misconception
Series
- Part 2 of Immaculate Misconception Universe
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Immaculate Misconception by malfoyesque for ThornedHuntress
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione’s husband wants an heir, but he can’t get her pregnant.
Draco Malfoy's blood curse has him desperate to get someone pregnant, but doesn’t want a legitimate heir.
It’s a match made in heaven, and nothing at all is going to go wrong.
Nothing.
At.
All.—————————————————————
Malfoy let his head fall back, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath from the ceiling.
“You are a woman of child-bearing age. You are looking to become pregnant. And you have told me that your husband has failed to make that happen. It is being triggered right now and it’s being triggered by you.”
His eyes flicked quickly over her body, before stopping himself.
“And from the moment you stepped foot in my house, I have been so fucking hard I can’t feel my toes.”Series
- Part 1 of Immaculate Misconception Universe
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Summary
I’m right here. His brain screamed it at him. I can do it. Me.
Ask me.
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Or:
Neville pines for seventeen years.
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Summary
Someone's sending flowers to Draco's girl.
He's not fucking happy about it.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 155,589
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
What if the Deathly Hallows was done differently?
What if some of the bad guys were not so bad?
What if there was a lot more collaboration and communication?
What if Draco ends up on the run with the Golden Trio?Rules:
Please do not tell Rodolphus where Severus hides the good wine.
Please do not cast Muffliato spells around Phineas.
Please do not tell Draco he is about to go camping.Series
- Part 1 of Oops! I Joined The Good Guys Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,894
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,555
- Kudos:
- 6,851
- Bookmarks:
- 3,097
- Hits:
- 279,413
Bookmarked by malfoyesque
21 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Easily and by far and away one of the loveliest, funniest, and easiest reads I've found in this fandom.
It goes down so smooth, like good liquor... Which was probably stolen from Lucius. -
keep your head up by ThornedHuntress
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane Hollander had it all. Until he didn't.
Because he could see it there, in Ilya’s gaze as he prowled across the room. That awareness that everything was different, that everything was wrong, that everything was ruined.
Because Shane Hollander was a fucking omega and, in the work of an instant, with a single, stupid burst of perfume, the decades he’d spent trying to hide his designation—the diets, the bruising physicality, the stress—all of it was for fucking nothing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,662
- Chapters:
- 2/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 94
- Kudos:
- 508
- Bookmarks:
- 149
- Hits:
- 8,336
Bookmarked by malfoyesque
05 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
WAHHHHHH IM SCREAMING
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Summary
Granger remembers.
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Summary
On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.
Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…
For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.
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Tags
Summary
“Jesus,” he blurted. “What—?”
“Sorry, sorry,” she interrupted, closing her eyes and pressing a hand to her forehead. “I just…sorry, give me a second to clear my head.”
She refused to explain why the first thing he’d seen when entering her mind was a rather vivid recollection of her last masturbation session. How embarrassing. She thought about walking in a forest – the least sexy thing she could think of – and then doubled down by picturing herself in the Quidditch stands at Hogwarts. In the rain. In January.
“Okay.” She exhaled and met his eyes again. “Okay, it’s safe now. Go ahead.”
He looked dubious but raised his wand and spoke the incantation again.
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Or, Hermione can't remember an important piece of intel and so Draco is assigned to help find it.
Series
- Part 1 of Try Not To Come
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,420
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 307
- Kudos:
- 5,514
- Bookmarks:
- 1,157
- Hits:
- 93,441
Bookmarked by malfoyesque
26 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
well this one just about blew my fucking head off