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Summary
Three years ago, you moved to South Park and somehow ended up becoming best friends with Kyle Broflovski and his group of dysfunctional idiots.
Now, with college looming and everyone preparing to go their separate ways, Eric Cartman has one final mission: reunite the group for one last legendary battle of The Stick of Truth.
Unfortunately, that means joining Kupa Keep, becoming a Thief, and going head-to-head against the one person you've spent years trying not to fall for.
Kyle Broflovski is now the High Elf King, and apparently being your best friend doesn't stop him from being annoyingly competitive, dangerously charming, and completely impossible to ignore.
Between fantasy battles, questionable alliances, and a rivalry that starts feeling a little too much like something else, you’re about to discover that the hardest battle might not be for the Stick of Truth…
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The weight of your promise settles deep within your gut, churning.
“If it makes all of you feel better, this weekend, I’ll, uh… I’ll let you meet him, okay?”Fuck! Why did you say that? You didn’t have a boyfriend, it was a white lie to cover your real secret: that all these years, you’d been a voice actress - of the hentai, NSFW, and R-21 game variety. And your double life was unraveling because of a sick coworker who needed someone to fill in for him.
What were you going to do? Find some poor rube that none of your overprotective friends knew, and convince him to be your fake boyfriend for a day? Well, that you could manage, actually. Onto the matter at hand, however - finding a replacement voice actor:
Who could possibly need money, be incurably horny or charming, and most importantly - have zero shame?You: kenny
McWhoreDick 😷: wassup
You: how much do you value your dignity?
McWhoreDick 😷: not much, y
You: excellent.Series
- Part 1 of BluberryTau's South Park Fanfics
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Summary
Everything seemed easy enough, just hook up with some washed-up detective in order get some quick cash from a mysterious employer. But things turn south when you come across things you couldn't even begin to understand, and you're placed right in the middle of something deeper than just a simple bounty.
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You and David have been close friends for the past few months and in this short time, you developed a huge crush on him. But, with summer approaching, you were sad to know your friend would be going away to camp. That is until you find out the camp needs a new counselor! Nervous and excited to find yourself able to spend the summer with David, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into. But, it couldn't be that crazy.
Right?
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Written before most of season 3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 171,366
- Chapters:
- 77/77
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- 742
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Bookmarked by organsystemalex
01 Feb 2026