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catch a wave and take in the sweetness (you want this, you need this) by parishilton
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
12 Jun 2026
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“You’re a real gentleman, huh?" Steve asks with a snort. "What do they say - best of luck to you meeting fate, but better luck to your soulmate?” It was an old saying you’d hear if someone wanted to suggest that you were a handful and your soulmate was in for a real challenge.
“Hey, I resent that!” Eddie grins. “I am a gentleman.”
“I stand corrected. You’re gonna make some fisherman’s daughter real happy some day.”
“Some fisherman’s daughter?” Eddie asks, laughing at the thought.
“Or fisherman’s son, whatever,” Steve says just as easily, chuckling while lifting the bottom of his shirt up again to wipe down the water rings on the bar top. Eddie chokes on his drink, averting his eyes from Steve’s newly exposed naval.
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mortgage off your soul to buy your dream by parishilton
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
14 Jan 2025
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“I have a California King.”
Eddie’s eyes snap back open. “My favorite words after ‘all-inclusive.’”
“Breakfast will be served promptly at ten.”
Eddie squints. “Is there, like, a live-in butler I missed, or something?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “No, I can cook. I’m good in the kitchen.”
“My second favorite room a guy can tell me he’s ‘good in.’” Eddie sends a wink Steve’s way for good measure.
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“Shiv and I were going to take a yacht out to some French island or another,” Tom says, waving his hand as though the island itself were arbitrary, something so unimportant that it could be decided by the throw of a dart. The breeze hits his face like a gentle spritz of cologne, the air smelling of salt and sea. Despite the nature of the conversation, brought about by digging into the burial site of his broken engagement with Shiv, and exacerbated by being asked to excavate the remains of that relationship’s grave for Greg’s enjoyment, Tom was finding the experience more cathartic than he would have thought he would have.
“We could go in the opposite direction,” Greg offers, looking hopeful. He opens his mouth to undoubtedly continue with his train of thought, but Tom is not so kind as to allow that.
“I already have,” says Tom while bouncing his sunglasses jauntily off the bridge of his nose and back onto it, “by marrying you.”
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craig lifts his phone to his ear, pretending he’s just accepted a call. “sorry, mom. i can’t make ruby anything for dinner on account of me being dead. if it’s not too much trouble, i’ve figured out what i want my tombstone inscription to say. here lies craig tucker: adequate son, belligerent brother-”
“-and total tease,” kenny interrupts, knocking craig’s phone out of his hand.
Series
- Part 1 of exit
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jack watches felix shift slightly in one of their kitchen chairs, looking marginally less composed than usual. “there’s a word for it, but i don’t remember it. some people who are dissatisfied with their lives subconsciously want to be struck by disaster. if they feel trapped by routine or social convention, they might think they’d be relieved from obligation if everything was taken from them. it’s sort of like fight club, right? it’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.”
“if you’re aiming for a movie she’s actually seen,” jack says, wanting to break the tension, “i’d suggest gone with the wind or casablanca.”
“of all the craiglist ads in all of the forums, in all of the site, and he clicks onto mine,” felix says, looking despairingly off into the distance and squinting his eyes like he's remembering a time when jack broke his heart. jack would roll his eyes if felix were actually looking at him.
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without tenderness there's something missing by parishilton
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
06 Oct 2018
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“you looked more intimidating in yesterday’s newspaper.”
mac raises an eyebrow. “i thought you asked dennis who i was.”
“i asked if you were his friend,” maureen clarifies, “because he has no real friends - only staff. he’s got bouncers who kick people out for saying his last album tanked, models who do drugs with him but disappear in the morning, and his dad requires a paycheck before he’ll even clear out an afternoon to meet dennis for drinks.”
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in her bedroom, katya wrestles with her doc martens, the laces wet from dragging in a puddle outside the venue, making her already clammy hands worse. recently she’s been wearing them again, some kind of half-assed attempt at recreating her youth. trixie is sitting on the other side of the bed, fluffing the pillows to her liking. it’s katya’s side of the bed, but she doesn’t have the heart to tell trixie to move.
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party girl is standing in her doorway wearing pink and white striped satin pajamas, the kind spencer’s mother, wealthy as she is, wouldn’t be caught dead wearing for fear of appearing too kitschy, even to her own husband.
“you’re going to let me stand out in the hallway in my pajamas - with my cats - for everyone to see?” she asks in disbelief.
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wonder more, want more than we did before by parishilton
Fandoms: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
04 Apr 2017
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“i don’t know what’s the worst thing about kissing you,” trixie starts with a dignified sort of reluctance, like she’s too polite to decline, but not too polite to remind you of how lucky you are that she puts up with your, well, “your tongue, dry mouth, your beard, your red lipstick, your smoker breath, or your attitude,” she finishes, giving every reason in the world she would have to decline, all while simultaneously leaning forward to meet katya’s lips, so she must be in a charitable mood.
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“i was hoping it’d be you,” zach says, shifting from one foot to the other, looking awkwardly down at the grass below. he seems to be unsure of whether or not he’s allowed to say that and, all of a sudden, frankie is livid.
Series
- Part 2 of foxes mate for life
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“it’s okay,” the man continues casually, as if he saves pantsless boys all the time from drowning and, maybe he does, because zach finally notices that the man is wearing a sopping wet, yellow 'staff' tee shirt.
Series
- Part 1 of foxes mate for life
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he wants to bury his head between her thighs and thinks she would smell only of suntan lotion, doesn’t want to admit that kourtney’s smell of baby powder and kale juice hasn’t inspired his libido much lately, not that she would let him fuck her even if he was inspired to.
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suddenly, frankie's squinting and pressing two fingers against zach's neck. "is that," he says incredulously, "a hickie?"
what was he supposed to say? 'yes, i have a hickie, but it's from you in the future, so don't worry about it'?
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or, a soulmates au where zach keeps accidentally time traveling to the future to be with frankie because he can't be with him in the present. -
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"the dean thinks i'm dating frankie?" zach groans.
"derrick thinks it," hayden nods, holding out his hand to tick more people off each finger, "so does our entire frat house, at least half the school faculty, and i'm pretty sure that girl crossing the street thinks it."
Series
- Part 2 of zeta beta tau
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zach is wearing frankie's grandfather's vintage christian dior shirt on finale night and he's never been so fucking afraid of spilling a drink or snagging a loose thread in his life.
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"excuse me?" zach asks, laughing. "are you seriously telling me to hook up with a guy to save our fraternity?”
zeta beta tau is a two hundred year old fraternity that is dying out. in desperate need of new pledges, they hatch a plan to recruit the only famous guy on campus in order to attract attention to the fraternity, flipping zach's life upside down.
Series
- Part 1 of zeta beta tau
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"oh," cody says, nodding. "i see where this is going." he bites into a sandwich. "you love frankie, then you hate him, but you never stop fucking talking about him."
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he grits his teeth and tries to think of unsexy things, like dead, brown grass on the golf course and throwing up cheap beer in the shrubs outside his frat house.
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louis thinks he’s ready for a completely new life with completely new rules to live by, but then there’s harry. harry is more unpredictable than any virus and latches on ten times faster, all need to please to some elders while somehow toting around a total lack of regard for others, especially authority figures like teachers, cops, and probation workers alike.
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does this mean we're brahfriends? by louispet (parishilton) for zaynandlouis
Fandoms: One Direction (Band)
30 Dec 2013
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au where surfer!harry tries to get into an uptight louis' pants while consistently coming off as a homophobic d-bag. crack!fic.