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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Robby has gone from barely being able to watch to not wanting to even blink. He can’t keep his eyes from darting down to where Whitaker’s thighs grip the saddle, how he slides forwards on it with every downward bow of the bull and back as it pushes up. Again and again and again, he rolls with the mechanical bull with a single circular fluid motion.

    It crosses his mind that this might be one of the hottest things he’s ever seen. He doesn’t even try to unpack that thought, it doesn’t even feel like an opinion he can change. It’s just a fact. Whitaker on the mechanical bull is one of the hottest things he’s ever seen.

    -

    It’s Javadi’s twenty-first birthday party and the Pitt team hit the cowboy themed bar downtown. Whitaker gets on the mechanical bull.

    One thing leads to another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,030
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    538
    Kudos:
    11,156
    Bookmarks:
    1,948
    Hits:
    103,508

    18 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    When Whitaker accidentally sends a dick pic to Dr. Robby, he never thought it would end like this.

    --

    The ED team shuffles out, Whitaker and Dr. Robby taking up the rear. Dr. Robby stops him with a hand on Whitaker’s waist, there and gone. “Really,” he says low, directly into his ear, beard scratching his cartilage, “that was amazing. You didn’t waste any time starting compressions. That probably saved that baby’s life. You saved that baby’s life.”

    The praise goes to his head, suffusing him with endorphins. “Thank you, Dad.” And he promptly wants to crawl out of his skin and slither down the drain with the after birth slop.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    875
    Kudos:
    12,970
    Bookmarks:
    2,686
    Hits:
    116,437

    20 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 21

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    Summary

    Randy liked taking breaks with Benson. They didn’t speak much, and Randy wasn’t exactly a fan of the secondhand smoke, but Benson’s company was quiet and calming. Even spending fifteen minutes alone was less peaceful, as there was always the chance of a slug in the arm and an insult hurled his way from Chris, or a slightly-too-aggressive noogie from Donnie. But Benson was like a guard dog. He never actually snarled or bit, but he was imposing enough that no one was willing to take their chances.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,370
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    175
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    3,336

    04 Aug 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 30

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    Summary

    “Benson, are you…?” Benson was almost impossible to read, and Randy wasn’t exactly well versed in reading people anyway.

    Benson’s eyes were all over him for a long moment before he let go of the cool metal and went back to his own counting, feigning nonchalance at Randy’s question. “Am I what?”

    “Benson…”

    “Randy?”

    “Are you…” Randy’s voice dropped to a whisper, as if anyone were around to hear what felt like a terrible confession on his own part. “Are you flirting with me?”

    “Sure feels that way, huh?”

    Randy swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah. Sure does.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2,679

    30 Apr 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 54

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    Summary

    The cloth in his hand slid across the mottled, sun-bleached top of the table closest to the window as clattering sounds resounded from the kitchen, almost deafened by a gaggle of teenagers who were throwing fries at each other. Something had been dropped back there, probably a spatula, and for a moment Benson retreated from the confines of the kitchen and approached Donnie at the till. His face was red and angry. He clearly wasn’t as enthused about not being at home as Randy was.

    Benson’s eyes rose momentarily. He looked tired, and more importantly, directly at Randy as the cloth stopped moving on the table and all of the breath that had been inside of Randy’s body suddenly vacated that space.

    -----

    in another time, another place, maybe Randy and Benson would have just liked to clear tables and work the late shift together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,532
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    325
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    3,337

    07 Mar 2025

  6. Public Bookmark 8

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    Summary

    Benson takes Randy to his first gay bar.

    Prelude to my fic "You Just Sit There Wishing You Could Still Make Love"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,164
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    760

    14 Jan 2025

  7. Public Bookmark 38

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    Summary

    What else could he have done? Randy had practically fallen onto his lap one day, begging to be changed, to be used, to be told what to do, how to be. Randy was safest with him. Benson could show Randy the way, could nurse his strengths and crush his weaknesses, he could teach him manhood. Wasn’t that his responsibility?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    2,574

    23 Oct 2024

  8. Public Bookmark 80

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    Summary

    Randy doesn’t know how long he’s been in the trunk, only that it’s been long enough that his anxiety over the entire hostage situation is overshadowed by the very real fear of pissing himself in the back of Benson’s Chrysler.

    ---

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,750
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    4,026

    01 Oct 2024

  9. Public Bookmark 63

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    Summary

    Sometimes while on the road, Benson takes to calling Randy his 'boyfriend'. Randy doesn't understand why it's entertaining, it just irritates him; he decides to one up Benson one night and refers to him as his 'husband'. Benson loses his mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,928
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    513
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    3,814

    23 Sep 2024

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Randy kind of can’t believe that the words are coming out of his mouth. Then again, he kind of can’t believe anything he’s done since watching Chris’s intestines paint the sticky plastic booth. He’s already become a different person. Benson’s cock is just the nail in the coffin of his body.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    1,010
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    9,494

    20 Sep 2024

  11. Public Bookmark 63

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    Summary

    Benson is in his dreams, again, and he still doesn't speak this time. But he does lick the tears off Randy's face.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    231
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    1,795

    10 Sep 2024

  12. Public Bookmark 69

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    Summary

    Benson wasn’t fucking clueless. He knew, by now, that this was more than just a simple fascination with an interesting coworker. But his peace of mind depended upon him ignoring a lot of uncomfortable truths.

    Or: 5 moments from Benson and Randy's weird, sad year of working together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,068
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    465
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    3,080

    09 Sep 2024

  13. Public Bookmark 81

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    Summary

    A lot of the time they ended up sleeping in the car, parked up in lay-bys and truck stops, just so they could use the bathrooms. But other times, they stayed in motels, scraping together cash between the two of them. Benson had an eerie knack of turning fifty dollars into a hundred and Randy could not fathom how he did it. But he made ends meet, somehow. Enough so that they could dump their shit onto the flattened carpet of sketchy motels every couple of days. Benson would usually end up face down on the mattress, he hadn’t let Randy do any of the driving yet and it was clearly getting to him.

    They’d started up their affair by the end of the fifth day on the road.

    ---

    You might as well carve 'Randy + Benson 4eva' into a tree.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,017
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    511
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    5,613

    07 Sep 2024

  14. Public Bookmark 17

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    Summary

    “Fine.” Randy had rolled his eyes like a pissed off petulant child. “I don’t feel special, Benson. I don’t feel loved.”

    Benson balked at that, almost worse than not knowing the answer. “What, you want me to take you on a fuckin’ date or something?”

    Or the one where Benson finally collars Randy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,677
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2,149

    04 Sep 2024

  15. Public Bookmark 86

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    Summary

    It’s been almost twenty years since Benson Roche was sentenced to carry out four life sentences at G.H. Lemoine Correctional. Twenty-one since he had murdered his and Randy’s coworkers on a cool and bland January morning, since he had beaten Elliot Sheppard to death in the middle of Bill Snyder Elementary’s parking lot, had taken Miss Beard hostage only at Randy’s insistence he not kill her, had shot Marsha at the end of her shift at the Kutzburg Diner. Twenty-one years since he had forced Randy to drive around town with him for hours, laughing at him, maybe believing it was with him—driving around and never once trying to leave town, intent only on curing Randy of all that made him the most pathetic 21-year-old he had ever seen. Twenty-one years since he gave Randy the small white divot scars on either side of his shoulder that still twinge now and again in a flutter of permanently-confused nerves.

    Twenty-one years since he became Randy’s captor. Twenty-one years since he became Randy’s only friend in the world, if only for a day. Since he had created the clean and even division of years in Randy’s life—Before Benson and anno Domini nostri Benson Roche.

    In seven months, he'll be eligible for parole.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,219
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    197
    Kudos:
    343
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    5,814

    26 Aug 2024

  16. Public Bookmark 56

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    Summary

    “Now Randy,” he says, low and careful and right against his mouth, “you’ve gotta remember that when I tell you to do things, it’s for your own good. Right?”

    Randy’s having a hard time keeping his eyes focused on just the cigarette or just on Benson — both are so close that his eyes keep making them blurry.

    “Uh— Uh-huh.”

    “So when I tell you you’re gonna smoke,” he continues, “that means you’re gonna do what?”

    Randy’s stomach drops. He doesn’t understand — doesn’t understand how Benson making him smoke is for his own good. He knows it’s not. He wants to ask, but knows Benson will just punch him for it instead, so he doesn’t. He feels his teeth clench together; Benson’s fingers flex along his jaw, feeling the muscle twitch.

    “Randy.”

    He relents. He feels like putty, all his nerves spooling and tangling and getting crossed to make him numb.

    “I’m gonna…” Randy swallows, feeling breathless. “I’m gonna smoke.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,225
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    342
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    3,248

    25 Aug 2024

  17. Public Bookmark 66

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    Summary

    i.
    When he turns his head to glance inside, eyes seeking for something to do without a customer to handle, Benson sees how his hair’s matted down to his forehead under the bill of his cap, sees the sparkle of sweat above his lip. Bradley doesn’t notice him looking, never does, but especially not now as he wavers in his spot in front of the register from the movement. His eyelids flutter a little, and Benson thinks too belatedly that the kid’s gonna eat tile if he doesn’t sit down.

    Benson looks away, back down to the table, squeezing his eyes shut hard for a second and pressing his thumb to the spot between his brows. The heat’s making his mind run too fucking slow.

    ii.
    He eyes Benson’s jacket one more time before turning to grab a dishrag and heading back to the counter. He passes by Benson mopping near one of the back tables and, this close, he’d know he was passing by Benson even with his eyes closed. He always smells like what Randy imagines the smoking section of a bar is like.

    That was the other tell, he realizes belatedly — the green coat smells like musty cigarettes. Rained-through and dredging up to surface all the stale smoke embedded in the threads.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,657
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    368
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    3,422

    25 Aug 2024

  18. Public Bookmark 84

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    Summary

    Hope was stupid. Not for Randy, who’d just gotten a little stuck. He’d pull out of this just fine. But that wasn’t everybody. Some people were just fucked. They got pregnant or got somebody pregnant, got arrested, got fucked up. Shit went too south too fast, and there was no coming back. Only hanging on as long as the poor bastards could before the inevitable end.

    "I can fix him" *is worse than him* *fixes him anyways* *is fixed in the process*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,038
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    351
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    3,765

    23 Aug 2024

  19. Public Bookmark 61

    Tags
    Summary

    No time to lose her head about this. Deep breath in through her nose. She could swear she smelled blood. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but your sister and all of her friends are in the living room, and-“

    “What the fuck, Randy, you have a sister?” Benson said under his breath.

    It wasn’t smart to snap at the strange man in her house. Stef couldn’t help it. “That’s the language you’re going to use around my eleven-year-old?”

    What if Randy's mom loved Benson as much as Randy did?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,484
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    200
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    2,504

    20 Aug 2024

  20. Public Bookmark 24

    Tags
    Summary

    Benson’s heard talk of an airport nearby, maybe a half hour away. Small planes only. He wonders where they fly to. He’s never wondered before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,995
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,091

    08 Aug 2024

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