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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It wasn’t like he had to throw up, Ilya reasoned. It was just a bad habit, and he quit those all the time. But he was leaving the cottage in two days, and the thought of packing up this life with Shane into his carry-on and flying back to Boston alone was tying him in knots. He was just stressed, and vomiting made him feel lighter. He didn’t need to, though.

    Or, a study of Ilya's recklessness and unhealthy coping as a foil to Shane's ED-coded behaviors, where he has his own disordered habits. He has it under control, until he doesn't. This work is fully finished, just updating as I edit :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,828
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    823
    Bookmarks:
    214
    Hits:
    14,648

    05 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane watches helplessly as Ilya is sent headfirst into the boards, spine twisting, skates lifting off the ice as his body folds under the force. The sound of impact is thunderous and wrong - echoing - louder than the crowd, louder than the goal horn, louder than the pounding of his heart against his chest, as Ilya’s body finally crumples into the ice.

    Ilya had no time to brace, Shane knows he had no time to brace because Shane had no time to brace.

    And he’s not moving.

    “Ilya!”

    _____________

    Or what it means to break, and come together again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,291
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    327
    Kudos:
    2,271
    Bookmarks:
    778
    Hits:
    61,934

    02 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, get loved.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    145,224
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    5,067
    Kudos:
    18,614
    Bookmarks:
    6,121
    Hits:
    519,315

    11 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Rozy," Brian, the team doctor says, "talk to me, buddy. That puck clipped you pretty good, how’s the pain?"

    Ilya blinks. He clenches his jaw against a wave of nausea. He rests his cheek on the ice, and the cold helps a little.

    "Bad. Very bad." He swallows. "Is Shane here?"

    -

    or, in the final MTL/BOS game of the year, ilya takes a puck to the head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,155
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    2,736
    Kudos:
    12,721
    Bookmarks:
    3,740
    Hits:
    296,018

    08 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya,” he clarified, wincing as he swallowed, his throat feeling like he’d eaten a fistful of glass. “I need to call Ilya.”

    He fumbled around for his phone, desperately needing to hear his fiance’s voice. Together, they could figure this out. They’d make a plan. Ilya could drive with his parents from Ottawa and–

    But Ilya wasn’t in Ottawa. He was in Russia.

    No.

    No.

    They’d kill Ilya in Russia. They’d kill him, or arrest him, or– or–

    Oh god, they’d kill him.
    __________________________________________________________________________

    A family emergency means Ilya is in Russia when Hayden's FanMail video ends up on Twitter, outing them to the entire world. It, predictably, ends horribly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,065
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    570
    Kudos:
    8,492
    Bookmarks:
    2,663
    Hits:
    155,002

    06 Jan 2026