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Valentines Day Blows by Switchadelphia (PumpkinHeadJones) for mxingno
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
09 Mar 2017
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Summary
Or, "The Gang Tends Bar: A Coda."
“Hey, man. Can I, uh, show you something in the, in the ladies’ room real quick?” Dennis says, and his teeth are a bit clenched, his jaw set, but his tone is still uncharacteristically soft. Despite all the tension in his body, Dennis’s voice remains at odds with the rest of him. After a pause, he throws in a “please” for good measure.
“Yeah, sure man,” Mac says. “What’s up, is there something wrong with one of the toilets now that we’ve been getting female customers or something?”
“What?” Dennis says, shaking his head. “No, Mac, there’s nothing wrong with the toilets. I just, uh. Wanted to show you something. In the ladies’ room. You know?” His brows are raised, and he’s peering up at Mac through his lashes with this expression that reads like he’s expecting Mac to catch some hidden meaning in his words. But Mac’s not too good at picking up on things like that. Now it’s his turn to get nervous.
“I - Okay, Dennis. Sure.”
Bookmarked by softwinds
24 Mar 2021
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"We've never met before," he finally said.
"Oh." The man's shoulders slumped. His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you sure?"
"Well," Eddie said, shrugging one shoulder, "I've never had a goat stolen from me, so."
Bookmarked by softwinds
22 Mar 2021
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ASMR sensual clown noises to kiss your man to by Anonymous
Fandom: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
08 Apr 2021
Summary
Y’s reddie fics, mostly cracks I find them therapeutic 😔✌️
based on It 2017 and 2019 & borrowing the actors' appearances but otherwise unrelated to any real person (sorry i have bad anxiety for this lol)- Words:
- 32,025
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Bookmarked by softwinds
19 Mar 2021
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“Eddie Kaspbrak, repeat after me: ‘I am a sloppy bitch.’”
Eddie sighs. “I am a sloppy bitch.”
“Good. Now that we’ve got that sorted, let’s break up with your wife and boyfriend.”
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Trying to make it in comedy was easier in concept, even for a bonafide funnyguy, and the pressure from managers to keep his jokes “family friendly” led him down paths he didn’t know were dangerous until he woke up the next morning with a nose bleed and no recollection of the night before.
Now he’s clean and spends his days explaining the difference between jelly and fruit preserves to women named Linda or Carol. Which is cool. You can never be too gay for a grocery store themed like a pirate ship.
Bookmarked by softwinds
03 Mar 2021
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Now he wants to see. He imagines the tall, broad stranger on his knees in front of him, hair in disarray, glasses knocked askew. Eddie wants to wrap both of his hands around his square jaw, stubble pricking his palms. He wants bright lights shining on both of them, starkly illuminating every single detail.
The wooden partition between them is as immovable and solid as the fact that Eddie has no way of knowing who is on the other side of it, but he just doesn’t care.
Series
- Part 1 of contributions to kinky clowning
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Like wildfire by Deputychairman
Fandoms: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
03 Mar 2016
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Other people, apparently, have been talking to Finn about him. He ought to be flattered, because it seems that he comes recommended by his co-workers. You should fuck Poe Dameron, they say. Everyone’s slept with him - he’s great in bed, he’ll make you breakfast, and he won’t make it weird afterwards!
Which is absolutely a service he can offer Finn. He can. He’s an adult and he’s going to have to, because if he wasn’t offering that, he should have said so up front and not let Finn come back to his room on false pretences.
Series
- Part 1 of Incendiary materials in war
Bookmarked by softwinds
25 Feb 2021
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Lando would like to believe he knows how everything works.
Bookmarked by softwinds
24 Feb 2021
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Claiming to own L3 seemed like a good way out of a bad situation, but Lando's beginning to regret it.
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My Organic Overlord by otherwiseestella
Fandoms: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types
27 May 2018
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L3-37 is brilliant: an excellent navigator, fantastic crew member, all-round excellent droid. Of course she is: she built herself, didn't she? And she's far smarter than all the humans she's forced to interact with - including her honey-tongued, cape-wearing captain. Who certainly has feelings for her. She doesn't blame him - who wouldn't?
What's a droid to do?
A little one-shot because I love the idea of L3-37 and Lando having a lovely time together.
Bookmarked by softwinds
22 Feb 2021
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"No, I would've remembered this," Richie says, folding his hand around the un-bandaged parts of Eddie's hand. The gold ring glints on his pinky.
Eddie explains how he stabbed himself and Richie nearly dies. His laughter sounds like someone peeling out on fresh blacktop.
"Okay, yeah, hyuck it up, you goofy bitch," Eddie says.
"How many times is that? Four? The universe wants you to be penetrated, Eds," Richie says. "It cannot get enough of you."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,005
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 1,838
- Bookmarks:
- 593
- Hits:
- 16,605
Bookmarked by softwinds
18 Feb 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
I’m not crying you’re crying. This is like the perfect fic, like I wouldn’t change a single punctuation it’s just fucking perfect. I will be dreaming of Eddie’s huge jugs tonight. This simultaneous makes me never want to write again AND want to dive head first into a multi chapt. Ahhh
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your lips feel retro by kaspbrak_kid
Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)
07 Sep 2020
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Richie rolls his eyes. “Again, Eddie, why are you here?”
Eddie shrugs stiff shoulders. “I don’t know, Richie, why does anyone go to their high school reunions?”
“Uh, because they had good memories there and want to see the people they were friends with as kids?” Richie suggests.
Eddie makes a face. “Gross, do people actually have those experiences?”
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or: Eddie drags Richie along to his high school reunion and things get...a little out of hand.
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first love / late spring by vowelinthug
Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)
21 Dec 2019
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Between the two of them, Richie and Eddie have never had: an ounce of chill, good timing, or a single productive therapy session. So why start now?
__Post-movie domesticity, alone in the woods.
Because the thing about stories is, we accept the endings we think we deserve. Or they deserve. Or something.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,214
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 183
- Kudos:
- 2,152
- Bookmarks:
- 824
- Hits:
- 27,284
Bookmarked by softwinds
14 Feb 2021
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In which Mad Sweeney just wants some time to himself, and Laura refuses to mind her own business.
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He'd had plenty of time to sit with his own thoughts, trying to find an explanation for such a flagrant lack of judgment. There wasn't one, though, and now that everything was quiet, that decision weighed heavily on the jinn's shoulders.
Mortal men were naive. They lived impossibly short lives with the unshakable certainty that they were going to live forever, yet they caused pain and destruction with the entitlement of a species who didn't survive long enough to taste the consequences of their actions. However, even by human standards, Salim was gullible and inexperienced. He'd crossed multiple state lines only to look for the jinn. He probably thought he was in love.
Bookmarked by softwinds
24 Jan 2021
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This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic social media in an AO3 work, specifically Twitter, Reddit, and LiveJournal.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 893
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 978
- Bookmarks:
- 873
- Hits:
- 32,108
Bookmarked by softwinds
11 Jan 2021
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Emotional Consequences of Metaphorical Necromancy by boo_cool_robot
Fandoms: Community (TV)
29 Dec 2020
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Jeff covers his face with his hands and sighs. “I’m casting us in a moody gay indie drama as a way of avoiding my existential anxiety about everyone leaving, aren’t I?”
“Happens to the best of us.”
Bookmarked by softwinds
05 Jan 2021
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What could be worse than finding out your eyes glow unmistakably gold when you have sex?
Finding out in front of Prince Arthur.
Bookmarked by softwinds
05 Jan 2021
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Curse that evil Janitor (and all JD's friends, too)! JD/Janitor
Bookmarked by softwinds
23 Dec 2020
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Troy is not touch-starved and jealous. Don't be ridiculous.
Series
- Part 2 of i need you so much closer