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a touch of whimsy by valdomarx for Curlscat
Fandoms: Lord Peter Wimsey - Dorothy L. Sayers
09 Feb 2025
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Five times Parker experiences disquieting thoughts about Wimsey (and one time he does something about it).
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Roy has made a horrible mistake - he'd taken pity on Jamie and offered him somewhere to stay after he got kicked off Lust Conquers All.
Now Jamie Tartt is living in his fucking house. And he won't stop fucking wanking.
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Roy has discovered the secret to training Jamie: he just needs to be given a task.
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cruel summer (what doesn't kill me makes me want you more) by valdomarx
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
02 Jul 2024
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Roy's knee is fucked, he's been dumped, and he's spending an awful lot of time on the couch. So he's doing great.
It's just unfortunate that he can't turn on his TV without seeing Jamie fucking Tartt and his stupid reality show.
And it's even more unfortunate that Jamie has his phone number. And for some reason, he keeps messaging him.
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Roy sets the rules, Jamie follows them. That's how this works.
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Roy and Jamie won't stop fighting, so Ted comes up with an ingenious idea for them to work out their troubles:
They have to share a hotel room for the night without murdering each other. How hard could that be?
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Jamie is new at college, and he's determined to make in into the frat of his dreams.
There's only one problem: the sadistic frat president, Roy Kent, who seems to have taken a particular interest in making Jamie's life a nightmare. A kinky nightmare.
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Roy is out with the Chelsea lads and in the mood to make a bad decision.
Jamie is the perfect kind of trouble.
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Roy is a medic on a deep space mission, which means he's used to being on his own. It's fine. He doesn't mind. He prefers it that way.
Jamie is the ship's training hologram. He's only supposed to be a simple holo interface, but there's something strangely lifelike about him.
With the two of them stuck on this shitty little ship together, Jamie is getting on Roy's last nerve.
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Part of Roy’s job as captain is keeping the newbies in line, and sometimes that means taking them down a peg or two.
And Jamie fucking Tartt needs a lot of taking down.
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“Roy.” Jamie gives him a tiny, disdainful nod, then turns to one of the producers and says, much too loudly, “D'you think he can keep up this time?”
Roy’s fingers itch with the urge to put the prick in his place. “I’ll fucking show you if you want, you noxious little shithead,” he starts, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows and ready to swing a fist if necessary.
“Boys! Boys, please.” The producer darts between them, her hands held up to ward them both off. “You’re going to need to cool it if we’re going to make this movie a success.”
Roy lowers his fists but doesn’t let his glare drop. Jamie shots him a filthy look and pushes his stupid fucking hair out of his face.
“Let’s save the tension for the fucking, yeah?” the producer says, forcibly upbeat.
That's what you get when you're a once great but now aging porn actor and your costar is Jamie fucking Tartt, god's gift to wankers everywhere.
a royjamie porn star au
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There are some strange aspects to being a football coach and one of them is this: it’s a very hands-on job.
Roy gets used to giving Jamie massages as part of his coaching duties. But after the innovative "tie their dicks together" training session, Jamie won't stop moaning about his poor sore dick.
Well. It is Roy's responsibility to look after his star player, right? And if Jamie isn't going to back down, then neither is he.
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When Roy and Jamie hook up in the bathroom at the charity auction, it was supposed to be a casual fuck. It wasn't supposed to redefine their relationship for the rest of their time together at Richmond.
But you can't control how you feel. Or who you fall in love with.
[A series of missing scenes set throughout seasons one to three, showing their developing relationship.]
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Jamie and Phoebe text sometimes.
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Jamie and Roy go for a beer and confront some truths they've been avoiding.
(An alternative version of that scene from the finale. Because we know Roy and Jamie and how they've grown, and we know the ending they deserved.)
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Five times Roy and Jamie kiss by accident (and one time it's on purpose).
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Jamie had a poster of Roy on his bedroom wall as a kid. He and Roy are both completely normal about that.
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Everyone knows witchers don't have emotions. And everyone knows they fuck like they fight: brutal, relentless, and inhuman.
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An encroaching Cyberman army, a time bubble, and a cottage.
It's a strange place to find a little peace, but the Doctor and the Master's relationship has never been typical.
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John has spent a lifetime trying to be what other people want him to be. Perhaps on Atlantis it can be different.