Chapter Text
"I should never have confronted him," Ed grumbled. Kristen patted his arm, "Hey, but it worked, didn't it? I haven't seen a drunk stumble in here at four in the morning since July."
Ed shrugged, "I guess. He laughed in my face when I asked him though. It's probably just a coincidence."
Kristen raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at him and turned away to check the spritz swirls, "Whatever floats your boat."
He huffed an irritated sigh at her, "I'm not lying!"
"I didn't say you were," she said, not looking back at him. He pouted, "It simply doesn't make sense. Why would he have laughed if he was going to do it?"
"...To mess with you?" Kristen replied, giving him her best 'duh' face. She never used to be so confident, not back when they'd first met. A slew of brutish 'lovers' and a 'traditional' family to thank for that. But after she'd agreed to date him, both had found something lacking in the relationship. It had taken them longer than it should have to sit down and talk it out, but when they finally did, what they realized shocked them both. Neither of them seemed to be straight. But neither of them had considered being gay before, either. They'd been close friends ever since, and once Kristen began dating people she actually liked (and who didn't treat her like shit), she'd become much more assertive.
Ed scoffed, "But why? What's the point?"
"Hell if I know," Kristen shrugged, "Maybe he likes you."
"I - that's - don't be ridiculous," Ed leaned back, as if he could physically escape her suggestion.
"Hey, I'm just throwing it out there. It's a possibility. It's also a possibility that he's addicted to your cherry turnovers. He's ordered one every morning for going on five months now."
"Yeah, and always with something snarky to say," Ed stared at a scrape that had been on the tile floor for three years. He remembered the day he'd dragged the table across it.
"My god, you are desperate."
"What?!"
"I can see it in your face - and your posture, god you used to look like this all the time around me - you want him to compliment you, don't you?"
"I - I don't - "
He was interrupted as the bell over the door rang and Kristen peered around him, smirking when she caught sight of the new customer, "Speak of the devil and the devil appears."
Ed spun around to see the nightclub owner lounging against the front counter like he owned the place, tapping a mindless rhythm on its surface as he waited, already sporting his usual predatory grin. Ed's hands started to shake, "Oh, why don't you go take his order. I - I have to - to frost the cakes."
"Oh no you don't. You need to face your fears," Kristen turned him towards the kitchen door and shoved him forward, "I've got the nicer handwriting anyway."
"Only on paper!" Ed protested, but she had already pressed a cherry turnover into his hand and pushed him out. The minute his foot was out of the door, Oswald Cobblepot's eyes were on him and it was too late. He swallowed down his nervousness and focused on not tripping on his way to the counter.
"Hello, welcome to Puzzles & Pastries, can I take your order, please?" he gave the greeting spiel, voice flat and tense, eyes on the cash register to avoid Cobblepot's stare.
"Good morning, Mr. Nygma. Pleasant day?"
Ed risked glancing up, caught off guard by Cobblepot's banter despite the fact that he did it every single day.
"Er, I suppose. Your order?"
Cobblepot's eyes flicked down to the turnover sitting on the plate still clutched in Ed's hands and then back up to meet Ed's eyes.
A faint smirk played on his lips and after a moment, he spoke, careful and deliberate, "I'll have an apple scone, please. And a medium Earl Grey."
Ed flushed, knowing that Cobblepot had done it on purpose, that he'd have ordered the same damn turnover if Ed hadn't been holding it, that he only did it to see Ed embarrassed, but he couldn't help it. Couldn't help playing straight into his hands. Why couldn't he be nice for once? Better yet, why couldn't Ed just get over it? Get over him. He could use some tea himself at this rate.
"I - I - I, of course, Mr. Cobblepot. Right away. I'll go get one," he mumbled, turning back to the kitchen, stumbling as his eyes unfocused.
"Oh, Mr. Nygma?"
"Yes?"
Cobblepot positively cackled as he responded, "Aren't they in the display counter?"
Ed really did trip that time, trying to turn back when he realized Cobblepot was right. Oh god, he looked like such a fool. He barely managed to keep the turnover on the plate that he was still holding for some reason, and he ended up bashing his knee on the coffee counter.
"Ow!" he hissed, reaching the front counter again, "Yes, of course, yes, right here, sorry."
He continued rambling as he retrieved one of the scones and set it in the center of a clean plate, sliding it across the counter to Cobblepot before fetching his tea for him. The man almost looked concerned as he asked, "Are you alright?"
As if he cared. Ed simply laughed, low and self-deprecating, "Sure. Have a nice day, Mr. Cobblepot."
"You too, Mr. Nygma," Cobblepot's pronunciation was flawless as ever, but his voice lacked something of its usual assertiveness. Ed shrugged it off.
More as usual, Cobblepot took his breakfast over to his favorite seat, near the window but against a column, where he had the best view possible into the kitchen (whenever the door swung open, of course) to which Ed made his hasty retreat.
Kristen was scowling while she piped precise letters onto the cakes.
"I don't understand why you like him."
"I don't. Not really," Ed protested, "He's annoying. And needlessly cruel."
"And yet here you are, infatuated with him."
"I'm not!"
"Yes you are, Edward Nygma! Do you know how often you talk about him? And do you even see yourself out there? He says six words to you and you're blushing like a schoolgirl. You literally tripped. On nothing," she sighed, setting the bag aside, "Look, I'm worried about you. I really did think I was in love with Tom, back in the day. I was head over heels for him, but in the end, he was an asshole. I just didn't let myself see it until I saw him kicking you in that parking lot. Maybe Cobblepot doesn't mean anything by it. Maybe he does and he's a better guy than he looks. But then again, maybe not. I, I just want you to know, Ed - I'm here for you. And so is Lee, if you ever need someone to talk to. We'd love to have you over for dinner sometime, by the way."
"That sounds nice," Ed answered her sidetracked thought before bringing the conversation back, "But... Fine. Okay, so maybe I like him a little. He - He's confident and attractive, but there's no way he sees me as anything other than an easy target. Okay? So you don't have to worry."
Kristen gave him a small smile, "Like that'll stop me."
Ed smiled back, at times still shocked to have found a friend in the world.
"C'mon," she elbowed him, "It's time to do the twists, and you know I screw those up every time."