Chapter Text
This night seemed to last forever. Rain fell in a continuous stream, chilling to the bone regardless of how many layers that were worn. Jason had been playing the avoiding game all night long. It was quiet so the patrol routes were predictable and more from habit than an actual need, yet despite this, Jason had spent a lot of energy ‘looking’. Instead of just skipping ahead, he spent his time swinging from rooftop to rooftop dawdling just behind, anything to put off the inevitable. It was frustrating because Jason needed the intel desperately, people, innocent people, were going to die if he didn't have it, but somehow he couldn't quite bring himself to just bite the bullet. Anxiety gnawed away at his stomach, putting across the notion of being hungry but experience told him he was more likely to throw up whatever he ate so he just ignored it. Finally giving up, Jason flopped down and leant back against his gargoyle. It was his gargoyle. He wasn't being possessive, it was just a simple fact that the gargoyle was his. If he closed his eyes he could vividly see Dr Leland’s raised eyebrow at that one. She would often raise that eyebrow when it came to him and multiple times he wondered if the psychiatrist had gotten it stuck up there. He'd asked her once. The only response he got was the other eyebrow rising to join the first.
‘Predictable and noisy. What happened to your training Hood?’
Screwing up his face, Jason pointedly stared straight out in front of him at Gotham’s skyline.
‘I ain't noisy!’
Boots scraped against stone as the Batman moved closer and sat down next to his Robin with a thoughtful hum. It grated on Jason's every last nerve.
‘You're the predictable one! I've been following you all damn night and not once did you notice I was there.’
‘Oh I noticed, son. What do you wish to speak with me about?’
It was a simple question that required a simple answer but as usual, Jason decided to be dramatic. Removing his helmet, he rested his head against his gargoyle and tried to force out his words. Instead of actual speech that made sense, all that came out was this pathetic sound that more closely resembled a whine and Jason just wanted to hide.
As always he waited for Bruce to snap at him in Batman’s voice, to tell him to stop wasting time and just speak already, but the man just sat and waited as if he had all the time in the world.
‘Files. For my case.’ Jason managed to finally vocalise, but it was a small victory. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that those four words did not explain what he wanted. Sometimes Jason really hated Grayson, he was much better at finding a whole dictionary of words to express his thoughts and feelings and here Jason was, doing a Stella job at being exhibit A of a typical crazy person.
‘You would like to borrow some of my case files?’ Somehow, Bruce had a knack for talking crazy person and the skill never failed to surprise Jason. Bruce nodded and reached out to squeeze Jason's shoulder. The boy immediately bristled at the touch and his breathing picked up despite constant reassurances in his head that he wasn't being attacked.
‘Son, when will you get it through that thick skull of yours? You do not need permission to come by the Manor. It is your home. It always has been. I have never closed the door to you and I never will. It's your home.’
Roy stood and held Jason tightly in his arms as he sobbed heartily into his shoulder. He had no idea what had gone on tonight but his partner had stumbled in through the window and just fell to pieces. Slipping off the rain soaked jacket with a practiced skill, Roy set it to one side before pressing his lips to damp curls.
‘Ssh, Jaybird, I got you. I got you Jaybird.’ He soothed, his voice low and quiet as he rubbed a hand up and down Jason's Kevlar shirt. ‘What happened? Can you tell me?’
Sniffing, Jason pulled away and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands, a small smile tugging at his lips.
‘B-Br-Bru- Bruce said I can go home. I don't need ta ask!’ Jason explained, unable to hide the awe from his voice and Roy just smiled. Everyone else apart from Jason knew that Wayne Manor’s doors had always been open to him, even at the height of his rage against world and putting heads in duffle bags days. That didn't matter though, what mattered was that Jason didn't know this. Somewhere down the line he had convinced himself that Bruce would never allow him to set foot over the threshold. Even now, after returning a couple of times, Jason still felt that he had to arrange an appointment to be able to visit, as if he were just one of the Wayne’s business associates. For Bruce to finally have gotten his act together and told Jason out right that he was welcome back was fantastic and Roy could help but feel happy for him.
After all, Roy could only return home when Oliver was out to see Dinah. The bastard had even put an injunction on him after one time when Oliver had caught Roy slipping away from his property. For Jason to feel a little more accepted in his own family was just as good, If not better than if it had been Oliver to offer that olive branch.
‘I can go home.’ Jason mumbled, burying his face back into the safety of Roy’s shoulder. Despite what he verbally said, Wayne Manor was the closest thing Jason ever had to a permanent home, unless you counted Arkham, but that thought was just depressing.
‘Yeah.’ Roy croaked, overcome with emotion himself to see his Jaybird so happy. Hugging him tighter, he kissed Jason's head again with a soft sigh. ‘That's great news Jay. Do you wanna go visit Alfred at the weekend maybe?’
The suggestion seemed a bit premature but Roy knew Jason well enough to know that if it was left to linger, Jason would decide that Bruce hadn't meant it because he was delirious from Avian Flu or had been brainwashed by satellites, or whatever else his imagination could come up with. No, it was best to reaffirm what had been said by actually just rocking up at the Manor, and suggesting visiting Jason’s ‘safest’ member of the Wayne household was the best way to go about it. Jason didn't respond straight a way, neither did he move from his sanctuary that was Roy’s shoulder, after a few long moments however, he titled his head slightly to the side and sniffed.
‘I'd like that.’ He said in a quiet voice that was so unsure, Roy wanted to squeeze him tighter and never let go.
Just as the sun was rising on Saturday morning, Jason found himself stood on Wayne Manor’s door step, staring at the brass knocker in front of him nervously. Squeezing the hand held in his, Roy rested his chin on his Jaybird’s shoulder and raised an eyebrow.
‘Door ain't gonna knock itself Jaybird.’
‘I know.’ Jason grumbled, his hand lifting to rest on the knocker before he paused again and frowned. ‘What if they don't wanna see me? Or they're too busy to see me or Bruce made a mistake? What- what if -‘
‘No ‘what ifs’ Jay, they ain't facts. Look, I am certain that Alfred would love to see you. Sod the rest.’ Roy argued gently, giving Jason's hand another squeeze. ‘Also pretty sure it's starting to rain so hurry up and knock.’
Nodding, Jason took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The sound echoing around inside like a foreboding boom.
They waited. Morning birds were beginning to cheep as the sky brightened and Jason began to rock on the balls of his feet. It had been mere moments, yet it was pretty clear he was getting cold feet. Roy glanced from Jason to the door, silently praying that Alfred lived up to his efficient reputation and opened the door soon.
As if summoned by the magic of thought alone, the big, heavy door creaked open to reveal the butler.
‘Master Jason? What a splendid surprise, what may I ask brings you here at this hour?’
Lifting cautious eyes, Jason offered the man a shy smile and shrugged a shoulder.
‘Old Man said I could drop by? So I have.’
Roy couldn't help the amused snort, trust Jaybird to just tell it as it is with no fuss or frills. Alfred however looked like he'd just been told he'd won a million dollars and for a second, Roy was convinced the butler was going to hug Jason, but he quickly composed himself with a very British nod.
‘Well, then you must come inside sir, you too Master Roy, I will not have waifs and strays lingering on the door step.’ Alfred replied, opening the door to permit them entry he gave Roy a very critical look. ‘Master Jason, I do not wish to pry, but is one planning to retire with the rest of the family? You know my rules, I must insist that Master Roy stays in separate quarters.’
Jason eyes widened before he shook his head and began fumbling with the zipper of his jacket.
‘No. No, erm, just dropping by. Is that okay Alfie?’
Taking his jacket, Alfred smiled and nodded before glancing down at his muddy boots.
‘I shall make a pot of tea, you may join me in the kitchen, after the young sirs have removed their soiled footwear.’
With that, Alfred hung Roy and Jason's jackets up in the cloakroom before disappearing off to the kitchen.
Snorting in amusement, Roy sidled up to Jason and began kissing along the nape of his neck.
‘Knock it off, Alfred will see!’ Jason gasped, batting Roy away like he was a pesky mosquito and Roy chuckled. Placing his hand on Jason's stomach, he gave him a very solemn nod.
‘Ah yes, I suppose you're right, Alfred has made it quite clear that this waif and stray is getting no where near your womb out of wedlock.’
Pushing Roy away, Jason frowned in confusion, until what Roy was saying made sense.
‘I am not a Victorian lady!’ He snapped, stomping down the hallway looking as masculine as he possibly could.
Chuckling Roy followed, maybe this visit would go better than he thought.
Alfred was cooking breakfast when the pair finally entered the kitchen. He paused beating eggs and smiled at Jason sat at the island, as if he wasn't entirely sure he was real. Jason smiled back, the tension in his arms melting away as he watched the butler return to his cooking.
‘It appears the rest of the family have arrived home sir. You may go greet them if you wish, or would you prefer to cook Master Grayson’s bacon? Apparently you are quite adept at it sir.’
Roy wanted to hug Alfred, pack him in a suitcase and take him back home with them. Alfred’s good rapport with Jason was more than obvious and there was this essence of mutual trust and respect. He also could not get enough of how well Alfred could talk to Jason and engage with him. Alfred offered the option of going to see his family, but at the same time, offered him a get out jail free card whilst also telling him he was good at something. Alfred was simply a legend end of story.
Jason froze and worried his bottom lip anxiously before huffing a long, calming breath and nodding.
‘Yeah, yeah I’ll go see ‘em. Can Roy come?’
‘Your bedroom ain't downstairs and Batman can protect your virtue.’ Roy teased, watching the tips of Jason’s ears turn bright red in amusement.
‘Mr Harper, must we be so crude?’ Alfred scolded, before turning to smile at Jason as if he'd hung the moon. ‘If you wish Master Jason, however, should he forget to act like a gentleman, please do not hesitate to call for my assistance.’
Roy chuckled and left the kitchen with Jason, arm wrapped around him. The sound of Alfred clearing his throat had the archer looking over his shoulder.
‘Hands above the waist if you please, Mr Harper.’ Alfred scolded, yet again, with an air of authority so terrifying, Roy didn't think twice about removing his arm and holding Jason's hand instead.
‘Does Alfred not ‘approve’ or something?’ Roy whispered into Jason's ear as they approached the grandfather clock. Jason sighed and shot his partner a very bored look.
‘Alfred ain't homophobic, he was the same with Dick and Babs, also, if Dick is a blushing virgin in Alfred’s eyes, what chance have I got?’
Jason had a point.
Patrol had not gone well. That much was certain by the echo of Bruce’s disappointed tone reverberating off the cave walls, not even the bats were making a noise.
‘Reckless and stupid. What have I told you all about jumping the gun?’
Inhaling sharply, Roy tugged on Jason's hand to try and coax him back up the stairs, maybe this wasn't the best time for a social call. Instead of following, Jason pulled himself free and descended the stairs.
‘Ssh, it's okay Harper. I know this lecture.’
Bruce had pulled down his cowl to reveal his furious expression, vein pulsing just above his eyebrow. The rest of Jason’s brothers were all slouched around on the benches in various stages of ‘done’. Bruce stopped his pacing and pointed at Damian who just rolled his eyes.
‘Don't you dare do that to me young man! You disobeyed my orders, went off on your own. You know what happened to Jason because he was reckless.’
‘You've already said that bit B, twice.’ Tim chimed in, arms folded sulkily across his chest. ‘Also Damian’s already died once already?’
Bruce looked like he was about to explode and turned on Tim like a bull to a red flag.
‘I am not talking about Damian, right now, I am disgusted that none of you have learnt the lessons from Jason's death. You all disobeyed my orders.’ He bellowed, pointing violently towards the glass case with Jason's Robin costume in it. Tim looked like he was fighting the urge to slam his head into it.
‘As for you, while we're on the subject, how much sleep have you had Tim?’
‘Um.’
‘Wrong answer.’ Bruce scolded, storming right up to Tim to glare down at him. ‘To be healthy you have to sleep. Every day, without fail. Do you want to end up like Jason?’
‘I cannot believe you are threatening me with a psychiatric admission.’ Tim deadpanned.
Before the argument could hit the apocalyptic levels that it was aiming for, Dick’s gasp halted everyone in their tracks.
‘Jason!’
All eyes turned to see Jason, stood blinking at them, in absolute horror. One glance at Roy’s homicidal glare was all anyone needed to know that Jason had heard more than enough to incriminate them. All waited in silent dread for the mother of all kick offs. Jason took a big, deep breath and, smiled.
‘Hey guys, Alfred said you'd just got home. Can I have those files Bruce?’
All eyes turned to look at Bruce who despite having a lot to say moments ago, just nodded slowly before moving to collect a couple of files robotically. Handing them over he made a point of staring at his boots.
‘Jason, son, I-‘
‘Better hit the showers. Alfred said I can help with breakfast.’ Jason interrupted, smiling over at Dick, who looked physically pained. ‘Better hurry Dickie, Ima cookin’ bacon, just the way you like it.’
With that, Jason tucked the files beneath his arm and jogged back upstairs as if nothing had happened. The atmosphere in the Cave though was so tense, the air seemed to almost hum with it.
‘Little Wing, oh God!’
Suddenly coming to life as if he'd been jump started by electricity, Dick went to run after Jason only to be pushed firmly back towards the rest of the Batfamily by Roy.
‘Don't Grayson. Just, don't.’ Roy spat, before glaring at Bruce as if he were dirt on the bottom of his shoe. ‘I think you've all done enough.’
Roy had no idea what was even going on anymore.
Despite hearing what he'd heard, Jason actually did make breakfast with Alfred and smiled brightly when the rest of his family traipsed in.
He ushered them all into their seats when they just blinked at him in bemusement, greeting each of them in turn and Damian actually looked terrified when Jason ruffled his hair. Sitting down in his old spot next to Dick, Roy stared down at his own bacon sandwich and just like everyone else, wondered what the Hell Jason's angle was here?
Jason was just sat making small talk with his family as if nothing had happened downstairs and this was the small, friendly visit he had planned. Eyes widening, Roy looked at Bruce awkwardly speaking with Jason about some obscure Greek mythology, warily watching his second eldest’s every move.
That was it.
Jason was carrying on with the visit he had planned in his head. It really was just as simple as that. Simple and heartbreaking.
Breakfast seemed to last forever, lengthened by a few centuries when finally, finally the end was in sight.
Jason’s smile fell.
The entire room held their breath and Alfred pointedly inched closer to the dust pan and brush.
Now, was the overdue kick off that should have happened earlier.
Jason's hands trembled slightly and as he took a deep breath, Roy noticed tears well in his eyes.
‘I'm going to smoke.’ Jason mumbled, before standing steadily and making his way out into the gardens with so much dignity it was painful to watch.
‘Father, I do believe you have broken Todd, more.’ Damian muttered, staring after his older brother like he were about to come rampaging in with an AK47. ‘We are all doomed.’
‘Really? Unreal, kid!’ Roy spat before getting up and following Jason out into the gardens.
‘I don't understand.’ Dick voiced his thoughts out loud, looking at no one in particular. ‘It's as if he knew what was being said. How would he know? Had he heard you say that stuff before Bruce?’
Dick asked, looking up at his father as tears dropped onto his cheeks. ‘Why was he so calm?’
‘No and I don't know.’ Bruce replied stonily, his face the definition of guilt.
‘You don't know! Are you lot for freaking real? How many times have you used Jason as warning?’ Tim screeched, glaring up angrily at Dick he pointed at him with a snarl. ‘Don't you pretend to be innocent either. You want to know why he's so accepting of being blamed for his own murder? Maybe, it's because he tells himself the exact same thing, every single day.’
Standing up, Tim wiped at his eyes before heading out after Jason as well.
‘Please excuse me, I appear to have lost my appetite.’
Tim found Jason lying underneath a willow tree, head in Roy’s lap as the man ran his fingers through his brother's hair. Creeping closer, he noticed how the tears on both their faces seemed to glisten in the morning sunlight.
‘I make appointments to avoid all this. I thought, maybe Bruce had stopped, if I was allowed back whenever?’
Jason sounded so sad and vulnerable and Tim wanted to start crying too. Bruce's lectures about Jason were horrible for him to have to listen too, Tim couldn't imagine what Jason felt like.
‘I always knew they said that stuff about me. I ain't dumb. If it stops the kids going out and doing the stupid shit I did? Then sure, whatever. And yeah, some days, most days I believe what Bruce says too.’
‘Jay no! The Joker, and all those other adults hurt you. You were a child. None of it was your fault.’ Roy soothed, bending down to kiss Jason's forehead. Jason hummed and closed his eyes, a soft sad smile tugging at his lips.
‘Hmm, that sounds nice. Maybe one day, I could believe it.’
‘Definitely Jaybird.’ Roy replied with a hum, fingers going back to combing through his hair. ‘’Cause I tell you this every damn day.’