Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You wake up. The sun shines on your face. It a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are--

Quit with that.

You shake your head. You suppose it’s an okay day. You know, if you were into that.

Better.

You yawn and sit up in the bed. And ... you notice your chest feels really sore, like you’ve been working out or gotten beaten up or something. You guess that’s not unusual. After all, yesterday, you fell into to a Dark World you didn’t know existed, found out there was a prophecy about you, got hit in the SOUL by multiple checker pieces, dismantled a monarchy ... it was a big day.

You’re still surprised you feel this sore though. You look down.

Your chest looks fine, but your hand is both covered in blood and holding a knife.

That’s ... pretty concerning to you. Especially since you don’t own a knife. And you especially don’t think you’d own a very long butcher knife.

Fortunately I’m a good sharer.

You shook your head. It feels ... fuzzy for some reason. Of course, that just happens sometimes.

Sometimes your head gets fuzzy and you think and do things outside the ordinary. A lot of the times, actually.

That’s normal, right?

Yes. Let’s have breakfast.

You take a step from the bed and your legs buckle underneath you, causing you to tumble to the floor. You feel weaker than you realized. You drop the knife to the floor and don’t bother picking it up. Your vision is fuzzy. You feel like you might pass out even though you just woke up ...

You’ll live. We always do.

You ... you suppose you’ll live. You strain to get to your feet and ...

And suddenly you hear a clattering at the end of your bed.

You look to the cage in your red wagon and ...

And a red heart was in the cage, clattering around, crashing against the bars, struggling to get out.

It was your SOUL, it--

Not your SOUL. Just a SOUL.

... that’s right, it couldn’t be your SOUL. You were still alive. You couldn’t ... you couldn’t just not have a SOUL, right?

...

That would explain the pain in your chest, though.

The SOUL banged against the cage some more, causing it to shuffle ever so slightly in the wagon.

You had to let it out. You reach for the door of the birdcage.

You don’t want to do that.

Your hand stops ... and recoils. You’re not sure why you’re hesitating. It’s wrong to leave it in a cage, so--

It’ll take control of you. It will be driving your flesh and you’ll cease to be.

You shake your head. It ... it might be a bad idea to let it out. What if it takes control of you or something?

... what if it already had?

Better to be an empty shell than a puppet, right?

You feel sick to your stomach. The SOUL smashed against the cage and you flinch backwards. Your legs feel weak and you fall on your butt back to the floor.

You ... you don’t think you want to let it out now. You’ll figure it out later.

Hide it. Let’s not make Mother worry.

You need to hide it. You grab your blanket off the bed and toss it over the cage.

Your eyes fall on the knife as well and you pick that up to throw it away--

It’s not yours to throw away.

... you realize it might make mom worry if she sees that in the trash. Not sure what to do, you toss it under the bed. You’ll find somewhere to get rid of it later.

Your eyes fall back on the covered cage. It’ll ... it’ll be fine.

You made the right decision.

You decided that on your own. Your choice mattered.

You decided that on your own. Your choice mattered.

It felt refreshing. It seemed like forever since you felt that.

Let’s get something to eat.

You’re hungry. You should just ... just forget about this and get something to eat.

There we go. Back to normal. Aren’t you glad I’m here to look out for you?

You head downstairs.

Chapter Text

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, you can smell something good coming from the stove. Mom was there, flipping a pancake in a pan. She turns toward you, her white fuzzy face grinning at you.

“Good morning Kris.”

“Morning Mom.” Good morning, Mother.

Mom smiles at you. “You’re looking a lot better today. I guess you got a good night’s sleep.”

You don’t remember much from last night but considering what's in your birdcage right now, you’re pretty sure you didn’t.

“I--” You feel like yourself again. “I guess I feel like myself again.” That didn’t seem entirely true but you shouldn’t make Mother worry. Yeah ... yeah, you shouldn’t make her worry ...

“That’s great!” Mom turns back to the stove. “You’re sounding a lot more talkative this morning too.” She smiles. “I guess you had fun with your new friend yesterday! I can’t wait to hear about them.”

You give the faintest of smiles, remembering everything you went through with Susie and Lancer and Ralsei yesterday.

Yes. Yes, it was fun. And you know what? It’ll get even more fun.

Mom picks up the pan, pulls a plate from the cabinet, and scoops the pancake on. Nearby she opens a plastic container and turns back to you. “You ready for blueberry pancakes?”

You nod. “Sure that sounds--”

No chocolate chips?

You stop and blink. “Wait ... do we have any chocolate chips?”

Mom gives a strained smile.

“Oh Kris, you know you shouldn’t have chocolate so early in the morning,” she says. “Blueberries are so much better for you.”

I know what’s good for me, Mother.

“But--” You start, but Mom gives you “the Look,” so you stop. Mom smiles, then dumps a pile of gooey blueberries from the plastic container on your plate. She puts it on the table, right in between a fork and an insultingly dull butterknife...

Not that it being dull ... mattered. Huh. You shook your head. Getting fuzzy again ...

You’re probably just hungry.

Mom looks down at you wistfully.

“So, why don’t you tell me about this friend you--” But she’s cut off by the landline phone ringing obnoxiously loud with an ancient nineties-style ring. Mom whips around. “Oh, who could that be?” She walks over to the phone at the edge of the kitchen and pulls it from the receiver. “Hello?”

Her smile fades and morphs into a grimace. She glances at you, quickly forcing a grin.

“Oh, could you give me a moment, Kris? I’ll be right back,” she says, overly gentle. She takes the phone, attached by the cord into the other room.

“I told you to stop calling me,” she whispers louder than she means to. Only one person made your mom talk like that.

Oh Father, what are you doing?

“I-- yes, I got the flowers, and itwas awful of you to put Kris up to that--” Your mom says. There’s a brief pause. “Well if you meant for it to seem sweet, it didn’t. It seemed desperate just like all your other little--” She was cut off. Despite not hearing the other side of the conversation, you could almost hear your dad pleading with her.

Pathetic...

Your head shrinks into your shoulders. You glance at the pancakes. You suddenly don’t feel very much like eating.

Your head was fuzzy before, but now it hurts, like a matchstick burning behind your eyeballs. There is moisture in your eyes even though your facial expression barely changes.

“Asgore--” Your mom says, not even trying to whisper now. “Asgore, I don’t have time for this again, we have to get ready for-- ASGORE!”

You don’t want to be here right now. You ... you don’t want to deal with this. Your head pounds and your hands begin to shake. You--

You don’t have to deal with this.

You suddenly feel strangely relaxed as I got to our feet. Starting slowly, as always. It’s always awkward, puppetting bones and sinew not my own. Even after all this time ...

I glance at the phone.

Baby steps. Left foot, right foot. Have to find my stride. Lurching at first, then straightening up ... gaining normal walking speed ...  right up to the landline receiver.

“Asgore--” Mother sighs. “Asgore, let’s not do this ...” Her voice sounds strained. “I just--”

I extend our finger and press the button on the receiver. I can faintly hear the loud dial tone on the end of the line.

“Hello?” Mother says. “Hello?! Did you hang up on me?”

As fast as I am able, before Mother comes back, I stride to the cabinet. Must be quick. I can hear her footsteps. I open the cabinet, pull a single chocolate chip from the ziplock bag inside, then rush back to the kitchen chair.

I savor the taste of the chocolate.

Yesss ... I earned my treat.

Mom walks back in the kitchen, putting the phone on the receiver.

“S-sorry about that,” she says shakily. “You didn’t ... you didn’t hear any of that, did that?”

You snap your head up.

“Huh?” you say. That was weird. You feel like you just zoned out. You dimly remember hearing some arguing but ...

You shook your head.

“Oh ...” Mom’s smile brightens up. “Good.”

Mom goes back to the stove to clean up. You also notice the taste of chocolate is in your mouth, for some reason

Probably just wishful thinking.

You sigh and pick up your fork, cutting into the pancakes. You glance over to Mom. Even though she’s smiling, she seems a thousand miles away, eyes focusing on nothing in the distance.

You wish your dad wouldn’t call in the morning. It always made Mom act like this. Even though Dad meant well, he kinda ... didn’t help when he did stuff like this. It’s really stressful.

Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it soon enough.

You try not to worry. Somehow you’re sure things will work out.

Somehow.

Chapter Text

About halfway through eating pancakes, there was a pounding on the door. Mom grunts and glances to the door.

“Oh, that better not be your father,” she mumbles.

Yes, it better not.

You realize you are gripping the fork in your hand tightly.

You look up at the door. You feel like your heart would be pounded in your chest if it wasn’t locked up in a birdcage upstairs.

That’s not a heart, it’s a SOUL. Real hearts don’t look like that. Trust me, I know.

Mom peers through the peephole (or peeps through the peerhole, you forget which) and her shoulders relax.

“Oh! It looks like someone from your school, Kris,” Mom says. She unlocks the door and swings it open to reveal Suzie standing there, her hands stuck in the pockets of her purple jacket.

Oh, it’s just her.

You let go of the fork.

“Um ... hey, Ms. Toriel,” Susie says, hair dangling in her face. You somehow know she’s not looking at Mom directly even though you can’t see her eyes. “Can uh ... can Kris come out? I was gonna walk them to school.”

Mom blinks in disbelief. “Oh! You must be Kris’s friend um ...”

“Susie. Violent (in Moderation) Axe Susie to my friends.”

“Pardon?”

“Just Susie works. Kris home?”

“Oh um ... yes, he’s just eating breakfast. Please, come in.”

“Oh ... cool ...” Susie slowly walks in. She looks around as she enters the kitchen. She keeps her head low, as if she feels out of place. When she gets close though, you see a small smile creep on her face. “Hey Kris.”

You smile. It’s good to see Susie again.

I agree. She “gets it” more than most people.

Mom approaches Susie from behind.

“Oh yes! I think I know you!” Mom says cheerfully. “Aren’t you the young child who threw that desktop in the computer lab out the window?”

Susie gritted her teeth.

“Well my wagon shouldn’t have got sunk when I tried to cross the freaking river and--” Susie stops. You could see her eye get wide amidst her forest of hair. “I mean ... n-no, that was somebody else.”

“Oh.” Mom glances away and doesn’t ask further. She smiles. “Well, would you like some breakfast?”

“Oh, no thanks, I ate a saucer of milk I found in an alley on the way over here,” Susie says casually.

Mom’s eyes go wide. “You ... you drank milk you found in an alleyway?”

“What? No!”

“Oh, thank goodness.”

“No no, it was already sorta ... turning solid or whatever, so I ate it. I wouldn’t eat a whole saucer of milk if it was still liquid or whatever. That’d be weird.”

Mom stares for a long moment. “Riiight. My child, why don’t you um ... come earlier tomorrow and I’ll make you some breakfast that isn’t, um  ... found on the ground?”

“Hm!” Susie nods. “Sounds killer, ma’am.” Susie turns to you. “You ready to go?”

You turn to Mom, who gives a pleasant nod. You get up from the chair and follow Susie to the door.

Before you leave, Mom yells out “Kris!”

You turn around. She reaches out and hugs you, clutching you tightly just like she always did.

“Be careful. Be sure to look both ways before crossing the street. And have a good day. Make Mommy proud.”

Your throat tightens. Mom always said those words to you and Asriel in the morning. You hadn’t heard her say that in a while.

Because Asriel isn’t here. It’s just us now.

You clear your throat and manage to nod. You hug her back briefly then turn to the door.

“Love you!” Mom says.

You hesitate. A dull, hollow pain in your chest returns.

“Yeah ...” you say. And for some reason, you find it hard to say anything else.

You walk out the door with Susie.

Once you stood outside, Susie glances over at you.

“Your uh ...” She clears her throat. “Your mom seems really nice.”

“Yeah ...” you repeat.

“She always like that?”

“Most of the time.”

Susie’s eye went wide.

“WHOA!” she shouts.

You shake your head. “What?”

“You just said ... your voice just kinda ...”

You blink. All you said was “Yeah.”

Susie stares at you, then shakes her head.

“Eh ... nevermind,” she says. “It’s nothing.” Susie looks behind her and leans in close. “So we gonna go back to the closet today?”

You give a hint of a smile and nod. You can’t think of anything else you’d rather do than see Raslei, Lancer, and all the other Darkners you met yesterday.

After all, there are still fountains to seal if you want to stop that terrible prophecy from happening. Stopping the “Angel’s Heaven” or whatever that means.

Yes, that sounds just terrible.

But you’re right. There are things there we must fix before we can rest.

As you walk down the street, Susie smiles.

“Hope Lancer is doing okay as the new king now.” Susie chuckles. “Good on him for throwing his crappy dad in prison. Hope he never gets out.”

Oh, he won’t.

She shakes her head, a dark grin on her face. “Maybe we should have just thrown the bastard off the castle like he wanted to do with Lancer, huh?”

I grin at her but say nothing.

Susie stops walking, then stares.

You raise an eyebrow.

“What?” you ask.

“Yeah that thing you just did? Maybe ... don’t do that.”

“What thing?”

“Uh ... smiling?” she shrugs.

“You want me to not smile?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s kinda creepy.”

Yeah, I get that sometimes.

You frown. “O-okay.” That’s not a big deal. You’re not a big smiler anyway.

You keep walking down the sidewalk, close to the new grocery store, when you hear a rustling in the bushes nearby.

Keep your guard up and--

Your eyes dart to the side as you see Noelle having emerged suspiciously close to the bushes.

“Hi Su-- I mean, I mean hi Kris and Susie!” Noelle said, a twig stuck to one of her horns. “Fancy meeting you here!”

You blink.

Okay, nevermind, it’s just this idiot.

Susie stares.

“Oh,” she says casually. “Hi. You’re ... Nobel, right?”

“Um, actually, it’s--” You start but Noelle gently nudges you with her elbow.

“Y-yep! That’s me!” Noelle says. “Good ol’ Nobel!” She laughs nervously. “So um ... I was just wondering how you two were doing on your project?”

“Our what?” Susie says.

Noelle’s expression remains awkwardly frozen on her face, even as beads of sweat run down her forehead.

“The ... the group project?” Noelle says. “You know, the one Alphys assigned? She ... kinda explained it while you two were getting chalk.”

“Oh ... oh yeah!” Susie says. “Getting chalk, right.” Susie shrugs. “I guess we’ve gotten something in the neighborhood of ... nothing done ... and uh ... I guess we don’t know the assignment so um ...” Susie glances at you, her voice low “I guess it’s kinda ... even less than nothing?”

“Oh! Well, I’d be happy to tell you the assignment! And even help!” Noelle’s face turns faintly red as her head shrinks into her shoulders. “I mean, not that I’m saying you’d need help! Like I’m not saying you’re not smart or anything! I’d never say that! I mean ...” Noelle’s face got redder. “I was ... I was just saying ... um ...

You suddenly feel awkward standing there watching this.

This is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen and I’ve literally murdered people before.

Suddenly you heard an irritating voice chirp out nearby.

“HA! Don’t waste your time, Noelle!”

Down the sidewalk, their blue feathers wafting in the breeze, was Berdly, looking as smug as always.

You suppress a groan.

Susie just stares at him as he runs up.

“Oh hey, it’s this asshole,” she says.

Berdly narrows his eyes and chuckles.

“Hm! I should have figured a neanderthal like you would resort to name calling!”

“HEY!” Noelle says, putting her hands on her hips.

Susie’s mouth twitches.

“Hey birdboy, I couldn’t hear tha to well.” She bares her sharp teeth. Why don’t you get a little closer to my hands and say that again?”

“H-ha! I’m not afraid of you!” Berdly says, while noticeably stepping away from her and hiding behind Noelle.

“Yeah, you look super brave, hiding behind people like a little bitch, you bitch,” Susie says, rolling her eyes.

You nod in agreement.

Berdly straightens up and adjusts his glasses. He looks towards Noelle, purposely ignoring you and Susie. “Anyway, Noelle, don’t waste your time helping them. If they can’t manage to find chalk in a closet for seven hours, I think cognitive thought is outside their capabilities,” he says with a laugh.

“Berdly, don’t be like that--” Noelle says meekly.

“Be like what?!” He chuckles. “Everyone in class knows they’re both hopeless!” Berdly points a feathered hand at you. “I mean, look at them. They just pretty much just have that one expression on all the time like they’re a zombie or just stupid or something. I mean, what’s wrong with you?”

Nothing as bad as what’s about to be wrong with you.

“Berdly, stop!” Noelle says, raising her voice. “You’re being a--”

But Berdly just kept going. He points at Susie.

“And you! I mean it’s no wonder you haven’t been expelled yet considering how much of a bully you are. And that’s not even getting into how messed up your family is!”

“BERDLY!” Noelle shouts, turning to face him. “That is out of line. What is wrong with you?”

“What?!” Berdly said shrugging with a smile. “Am I supposed to be bad for ragging on the school bully?”

Susie grits her teeth. The small bits of her face you can see admist all her hair seemed to turn red.

“What ... did you say about my family?” Susie’s fist gets tight.

You also hear an engine vroom behind you. You glance down the street and see a car far away, but approaching your direction. You’re all safely on the sidewalk, thankfully.

You glance at the street, then at Berdly, then at the car, then at the street again. Your head feels fuzzy.

Oh my, what a terrible accident that’s about to happen!

I tug against our legs, awkwardly at first, but quickly gaining stride, positioning myself right by Berdly’s side, putting him between me and the street.

“Huh?” Berdly looks shocks, then narrows his eyes. “What you gonna do? You ... you wanna fight or something?”

Noelle backs away.

“H-hey,” Noelle says. “I don’t want anyone to fight.”

“Yeah, Kris, be the bigger person and walk away,” Susie says. She raised her fist. “Walk away so I can be the one who beats them up!”

“SUSIE!”

I look at Berdly and I smile, savoring the nervousness on his face. The car is almost here now, engine rumbling. Let’s see, who would win in a fight ... two tons of sharp protruding metal or stupid bird thing?

Let’s find out.

I pull my hand back and--

You feel a boney hand clamp down on your shoulder.

Oh shit.

You turn and you see a stubby skeleton standing behind you in a blue hoodie. Sans, you think his name was. When he speaks, its in a chill, almost dopey voice.

“Heya,” Sans said to all of you. “What’s going on over here?”

Despite how casual the conversation is, you get an unexplainable crawling sensation down your back. You find yourself unable to say anything.

Noelle looks down in embarassment, while Susie stands nearby seething in silent anger. Only Berdly took a step forward.

“I-I was just minding my own business when I was harrassed by these--”

At that moment, the car zooms past. Berdly snaps their head around, realizing how close that had been to them.

“Yikes!” he says.

You shake your head as well. You hadn’t really thought about how close that car was. That could have been dangerous.

Crap ...

“Yeah,” Sans says. “You kids should maybe not, uh, fight in the street. That’s kinda dumb.”

Berdly stammers, about to say something, but Sans ignores them and turns to you.

“Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you remember what we talked about yesterday.” He winks. “You were gonna hang out with my little brother. You didn’t forget, right?”

Oh right, you realize. You nearly had forgotten. You nod.

“I don’t forget,” I say.

Sans just grins a bit wider.

“Good,” he says, looking pleased with himself.

... that’s just a coincidence. He doesn’t know. He can’t know ...

... probably.

“Welp! It’s almost time to open the shop! You kids stay out of trouble, alright?” He then walks over to his shop. Instead of unlocking the front door, he leans against the outside wall and closes his eyes. He starts snoring seconds later.

Berdly stares in disbelief. “What a weirdo,” he mumbles.

Oh please, please go piss him off. Please. I’m sure that’ll go great for you.

Berdly turns his attention back to you. “And you! Your voice just got weird for a second. What gives with that?”

Susie takes a step and, for a moment, you’re afraid she’s actually start a real fight. But she’s stopped by Noelle throwing up her hands.

“Oh my god, shut up Berdly! Being smart doesn’t give you the right to act like total jerk to everyone! This is why nobody likes you and I have to be your partner everytime even though you’re the smartest person in class!”

Susie flinches back in shock, just as Berdly’s eyes go wide. For a brief moment, all his smugness melts away and he seems genuinely hurt. He glances to you and Susie, then narrows his eyes.

“... I ...” He shakes his head. “I don’t have to take this! You waste your time with these losers if you want, Noelle! See if I care!”

Berdly whips around.

“Sniff you jerks later,” he says as he storms towards the school.

Noelle’s expression softens as the full weight of her words wafts over her.

“Oh gosh,” she puts her hands on her cheeks. She glances at you and Susie. “I am so sorry. I don’t usually act that mean--”

Susie however couldn’t stop grinning.

“What are you talking about? That was awesome, Noodle!”

“Actually it’s pronounced-- wait you thought that was awesome?”

“Uh, yeah! You totally showed that dumb pigeon who’s boss just by ACTing! That was cool.”

“Oh ...” Noelle hid her face. “T-thank you ... I--” She raised an eyebrow. “I--I think it’s pretty cool how you say normal words like ‘acting’ like they’re in all caps. That’s ... that’s cool too.”

“Aww, thanks.” Susie scratches behind their head.

However, your head feels fuzzy and you find it hard to focus, even as you continue walking with Susie and Noelle to school. Something about the encounter with Sans ... unnerves you and you’re not sure why.

I suppose I can’t take the chance that he truly is oblivious. He has the ability to ... complicate things. We’ll have to deal with him.

You glance down the street, seeing a glimpse of Berdly just before he goes out of sight.

... next time.