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“Heya! Welcome to the Other side!”
“...where?”
“The Other side!”
“Yeah! We’re the darker parts of Thomas’s personality.”
“I'm assuming you're Anxiety?”
“Oh. Uh yeah, I am.”
“Glad to have ya! Call me Deceit.”
“Remus~!”
“Greed.”
“Lust!”
~
“I can't put up with your bullshit anymore!”
“Come on Virge, you know it was a joke.”
“But seriously he is a virgin. And I can fix it-”
“Lust, shut the hell up.”
“No! This isn't the first time you all have stepped all over me!”
“It's also not the first time Lust has made sexual joke! You should get thicker skin.”
“Everyone else is used to them. Anx, you know Lust only plays.”
“Oh do I? What happens if I don't play?”
“You're just paranoid Lust will act on what he says, Anxiety.”
“Yeah Virgil. You're way too paranoid. That's not your title.”
“Paranoid! Paranoid!”
“Shut the hell up!”
“PARANOID! PARANOID! PARANOID BITC-”
SLAP.
“VIRGIL!”
“OW! WHAT THE HELL?!”
“Don't. Call me Paranoid.”
“Virgil-wait! Virgil! Come back!”
SLAM.
~
“Hey Deceit? Are-”
“Remus, can you cook tonight? I have no clue what to make and since you're...creativity-”
“You're letting Remus cook? After last time?”
“Do you wanna cook?”
“I'm sure I’ll do better than roasted soap bars, Dee.”
“Hey! Greed you have to admit, they were good!”
“No they were not!”
“Guys! Shut up! Where did Deceit go!?”
“So whos cooking?”
~
“Hey...Dee? Are you okay? You haven’t been out and-”
“Oh. I'm fine, Lust. I was just changing into more comfortable clothes.”
“Are you sure you weren't cryi-”
“Did Remus start cooking? I know what to make now.”
“Deceit if you're not feeling well you can just say so.”
“I'm feeling just fine. Absolutely peachy. Amazing and great. Is Anxiety joining us or is he really gone?”
“He's...gone…”
“...That's what I thought.”
~
“Dece.”
“Dece.”
“Dece!”
“Wh-how-Virgil?”
“Sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night.”
“It's fine. I totally wasn't sleeping.”
“Whatever. I'm not coming back.”
“Virgil, please, you need to understand-”
“No, I don't. This hasn't been the worst, by far, but I don't want to live in a place where I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells.”
“You really…”
“Yes. I'm gone.”
“Virgil! You can't leave! I-I don't want you to!”
“Well I want to. And sometimes, doing something for yourself is necessary.”
“I hate you! This isn't necessary! You're just being a selfish, greedy bitch just because you can't take a joke!”
“It's not just about the joke Deceit. I don't like how Lust touches me. I don't like how Greed steals things from me. I don't like how Remus is so loud. And most of all-”
“Vir-”
“I don't like how you think your ‘family’ is sunshine and rainbows and perfection. Because it's not, Deceit. Face it. This is the Dark side. There can't be sunshine and rainbows in the Dark side. You think everyone is so great. Guess what. You're wrong . You're always wrong .”
“Virgil-!”
“I can't handle that. I can't handle you.”
“VIRGIL!”
~
“Deceit hasn't said anything in a week.”
“Not my problem.”
“Greed...you've gotten harsher.”
“I've always been harsh. You've just never seen it because you're blind to everything that isn't sex Lust .”
“G-Greed-”
“Pathetic.”
“No, you're pathetic.”
“Both of you guys need to shut your buttholes and keep them shut. Some of us actually have sanity!”
“Pfft! Remus?! Sanity!? I've never heard anything more foreign!”
“Stop. Fighting.”
“Sorry we can't be perfection Deceit.”
“You should know that by now.”
~
“What’d I tell ya?”
“I...never noticed they were this...this toxic.”
“That's not even that toxic, Deceit. I’d wish you luck, but you won't get it from me.”
~
“He's gone. He left. He ruined everything.”
“So? What are you going to do?”
“...”
“Get him back.”