Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Playlist for this Work

lontalius - sleep thru ur alarms

girl in red - summer depression

Sufjan Stevens - Vesuvius

Chase Atlantic - Friends

half alive - still feel

fog lake - holy cross

Foals - Black Gold

Jacob Lee - Black Sheep

Strange Talk - So So LaLa

Cloudeater - Hollow

Innerpartysystem - Structure

Lord Huron - Frozen Pines

Little Red Lung - Fangs

Glass Animals - It's All So Incredibly Loud

Stuck In The Sound - Let's Go

Cage The Elephant - Come A Little Closer

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Casey Lee Williams - Divide

Phantogram - Black Out Days 

Mumford & Sons - Broken Crown

Playlist will be edited as each chapter is posted.

Chapter Text

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"Thoughts that go like bullets through you

The time you told me that you wish you were dead

What's a broken arm when you can't stop choosing to sleep through your alarms?

Man, you're losing your head"

~ sleep thru ur alarms by lontalius ~

——————※——————

Yellow and orange with a hint of pink. Two images, one was above and clear, and the other was below and distorted, merely a reflection. The dim light was enough to faintly illuminate his tan skin. Soft sand was beneath him, his feet sinking slightly. There was a breeze gentle enough to slightly lift and drop his brown hair. Nostalgic tears of quiet joy lined the bottom of two swirling blue eyes. He watched from the beach as the sun inched slowly down to the horizon. He was safe and content.

A loud noise blared abruptly, disturbing this serene peace. The sky turned red, but it was sudden, and too red. The ground opened up from under him, or rather, it shattered under him. The sand wasn’t sand at all; it was glass that looked like sand from above. But it had felt real, it looked real, and he was so sure that the sand originally wasn’t just one big, connected shard of glass. Hadn’t the ‘sand’ individually fallen around and on top of his feet when they sunk down into it? There wasn’t much time to ponder this, as he was falling through pitch darkness. He felt a little like when Alice fell down the rabbit hole, except there was nothing, not even light, to be seen anywhere. He continued to fall,

And fall,

And fall,

Right off of his bed and onto the cool, metal floor.

The Castle of Lions’ alarm was louder than in the dream, in which sounds from the waking world are sort of faint. Groaning, Lance pushed himself up from the floor and threw his blanket back on the bed. He stood and, stretching his arms up high, cracked his back with a yawn. The yawn made some weird feeling in his ears that muffled the alarms until the yawn was finished. 

"Paladins! There is no attack or emergency! Only a wake-up call. I repeat, there is no emergency," Coran's energetic voice boomed from the intercoms and all throughout the Castleship. Lance audibly sighed in relief. He turned and opened the Altean version of a dresser, revealing his casual outfit that he had worn when Blue first launched him into space. After changing from his pajamas into clothes, Lance shut the alien dresser gently. But, those pajamas weren’t his, he hadn’t brought them here with him from Earth. They used to belong to the paladins of old, so they didn’t really belong to Lance. These pajamas were scratchy and definitely unlike any clothing back home. He missed his light grey shirt, which he wore at night, and his soft, pastel blue, ufo-themed pajama pants. They were comfortable and calming, and they fit his aesthetic. 

Lance exited his room with a mechanical swish of the automatic door. Then again, it wasn’t his room. His real bedroom was back on Earth, in Cuba, with baby blue walls, a NASA themed bed, and glow stars stuck to the ceiling.

Lance lazily walked towards the dining hall, stumbling tiredly every few minutes. He slowed to a near stop as familiar doors opened by themselves, and then headed inside. He grabbed a bowl of food goo and, with a strained smile, plopped down into his chair between Pidge and Hunk. No one smiled at him or acknowledged his presence. Hunk was writing a list for Pidge filled with science stuff that Lance never bothered trying to understand, while Shiro, Allura and Coran were discussing diplomacy, battle tactics, and… mustache care?? Pidge had fallen asleep in her food goo, most likely because she had been awake and busy all night coding, though there have been many times where Lance caught her playing an illegal version of Tetris or watching one of Matt’s many favorite animes. By the way, how was Pidge able to watch anime, Naruto no less, all the way out here in space? Anyway, no one had noticed him, and Lance bet with everything he had that if Keith was here, he wouldn’t bother to care either.

Lance didn’t mind, though. He was used to being ignored on the Castleship. He sat quietly and ate his breakfast. 

Lance knew he was depressed, he was officially diagnosed a few years ago, right before the Garrison. He knew he had depression, and he knew it was getting worse. He used to always keep a bottle of his antidepressants in his jacket pocket, but he ran out of them a long time ago. He couldn't afford to try and seek out any at the space mall, because he didn't even know if they would work, if his system would react negatively because they were foreign (literally—), you get the gist. Besides, it would just be too risky in terms of the people sitting around him.

He couldn't tell the team. Not even Hunk knew, and he was Lance's best friend, but now Lance was having doubts about that. He didn't want to be more of a burden than he already was. He was pretty sure they would tell him to stop being dramatic, Lance! What is it with you and demanding attention? Just shut up and focus on the war.

Lance sighed quietly. He stood and pushed his chair back with one hand, empty bowl in the other, before walking across the room to place the bowl and spoon gingerly inside the Castleship's automatic washer. Lance headed over to the door to leave, but he stopped to look back sadly at the table. As far as he could tell, no one had even realized he'd been there. Lance glanced back down, not looking at anything in particular, and headed out into the long, dark, empty halls of the Castleship. 

Lance understood those halls. He could relate to them, in a sad, corny sort of way.

After about a minute or two of standing there like a complete idiot, Lance finally decided to hit up the training deck.

These days, now that Keith was off doing some freaky space ninja missions like Batman or something, Lance could often be found on the training deck. Surprised? Yeah well, of course the others would probably think he was lying or trying to impress them. 

And since no one really occupied the training deck, Lance was there to take his mind off of his own mental state (having to take your mind off your mind? Funny, I know—) and, more importantly, improve his fighting skills and techniques.

Lance couldn't think as he approached the automatic doors to the training deck. He took off his jacket and made sure that the long, blue sleeves of his white shirt hadn't rolled up to reveal any.... scarring. Lance threw his jacket onto one of the metal benches on the side of the room and summoned his bayard. 

I need to work on close combat. 

Changing his bayard from its dormant form into the red, Altean broadsword that he had unlocked not too long ago, he moved to stand in the middle of the room.

"Begin training level 3, bot type: gladiator," he called.

A small section of the ceiling opened up as a white and yellow droid dropped through and landed in a crouch, closing back up after. 

The gladiator lifted its head, and the round, eye-like light in the middle (not unlike a cyclops—) glowed a vibrant red.

Lance quickly fell into a traditional fighter's stance, and stood determinedly as the the tall Altean droid charged.

Chapter Text

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"Pretty face with pretty bad dreams

No one knows I cry in my sleep

Waking up feeling like shit

It's a normal thing to feel like this"

~ summer depression by girl in red ~

——————※——————

The floor was cold and inviting, and the gentle, thrumming vibrations of the Castleship engines could be felt through the metal surface. Thick, red liquid pooled slowly around his head, arms (where some of his newer cuts had reopened—), and torso. Laying in the middle of the training room after a session seemed pretty ideal to Lance, except for the fact that he was superficially bleeding out. 

It wasn't life-threatening or anything, he just got thrown around for a bit, no biggie. 

By now he had learned to expect some sort of interruption from moments of painful peace like this, and just then the intercoms crackled to life with chiming noises in the order of some melody. These were different from the Castle's alarms, because these alerted everyone that it was time for team bonding. Lance remembered that today they were supposed to practice an Altean version of soul searching, which required the paladins to virtually travel to one paladin's mind together and visit that person's memories and emotions. 

Well that definitely wasn't going to end well for Lance.

"Nooooooo..." Lance protested, as if someone was attempting to wake him up and get him out of bed while he stubbornly refused. Either way, Lance forced himself up off the ground, finding that his pain wasn't actually bad. He staggered over to the emergency med kit on the wall next the bench with his jacket. Opening it, he grabbed the disinfectant spray and several rolls of white bandages, and he lifted the bottom of his shirt to hold it in his teeth. He sprayed the disinfectant along the cut in his side and wrapped his waist with one of the rolls, effectively covering and protecting the wound. He did the same to his wrists and forehead, except the latter only got nicked a few times, so he grabbed a couple Altean band aids and put them on by looking into the small wall mirror next to the med kit.

Lance grimaced when he saw the dark bags under his eyes. He'd been training at night sometimes (which didn't always go the way he wanted—), and hadn't really been able to catch up on much sleep due to all the drills and missions they had to go on. He wrenched himself away from the mirror to wipe all traces of blood off the floor.

Lance quickly grabbed his jacket and made a beeline for his room to change into his armor, just in case. As he pulled on the armor plates over the black, spandex suit, he could hear a few laughs from Pidge, Hunk and Allura in the hall.

Lance really didn't want to do this.

It's alright, Leandro. 

Lance's eyebrows shot up as he suddenly felt the feeling of fire course through him, pulsing warmly. 

Red? Is that you?

A gentle, rumbling purr erupted from his lion as she mentally headbutted him softly. I know you hate this kind of training, so I would like to help by closing your mind off from the others.

Really? Thanks Red! She nuzzled him through their bond, and Lance began to feel the fiery aura surround him like a shield.

With a deep breath, he left his room and made for the training deck once again. As he stepped inside, he spotted the four annoyed expressions on the other paladins' faces, all directed at him. Freezing, Lance cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

"Hey guys, uh... sorry I'm a little late, my armor was being stubborn," he forced out, holding up two weak finger guns.

"Geez, Lance. Stop making excuses, you're always late," Pidge scoffed.

Lance flinched, but didn't say anything. He wasn't going to risk his friends being even more annoyed with him. Instead, he trudged over to join the circle that the others made. Plopping down in between Shiro and Pidge, Lance grabbed the last Altean headset and slipped it on.

"Alright everyone! You will use the mind-melds to travel virtually to one of your minds. And remember that the key here is focus and trust!" Coran's voice chirped through the intercoms, as he was stationed in the training deck's control room that overlooked the deck. "First up, Pidge!"

They all focused really hard on Pidge through their bond with Voltron. Not long after, they all had been safely transported to her mindscape, with Lance and Shiro being a little late. Pidge gasped, tears gathering in her amber eyes, as she came face-to-face with the building in front of her.

"This... this was my first home in Italy," she said. "We moved to the US when I was 8. I've always wanted to come back here." 

Lance tuned everything out in favor of observing the green plants that scaled up brick walls and the sky above him, dotted with clouds that scuttled slowly across the endless ocean of pale blue. Time passed by quickly, or Lance was distracted enough that it seemed to be that way, as Lance had wandered around with the others through each of their minds. Suddenly, their consciousness' were all brought back into their own bodies, leaving Lance as the last one to have his mind showcased. 

Lance could tell that the other paladins were struggling this time. Their faces were all scrunched up and tightened. 

"What the—" Pidge breathed. The others were just as confused as she was. Every time they tried to enter, some force field seemed to knock them back. 

"Why can't we get in?" Hunk asked. 

Lance laughed a little nervously. "Maybe we're all just... tired?" he lied.

Coran hummed thoughtfully through the speakers. "Perhaps."

Allura looked up. "No, this feels... different. We're being pushed away as if there is some force preventing us from entering your mind." She thought for a second. "It's the Red Lion, I can sense its conscience surrounding Lance."

Shit.

"Really? Why would she do that?" Lance laughed nervously.

Pidge pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose and glared at him. "I don't know, Lance. Why don't you ask her? She's your Lion."

"Yeah, but I don't wanna make her mad at me," he lied.

"Jesus, Lance. So what if she bites your head off? It would at least do the rest of us a favor by not having to hear you run your mouth all the time." 

Hunk's eyes widened and he gave the Green Paladin a desperate look. "Pidge!" he hissed.

Pidge seemed confused for a moment before realization struck her, twisting her expression. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm tired, and this mind meld thing is getting on my nerves. I'm also worried about Matt, y'know with that mission he's on and all, and I'm stressing the fuck out."

Lance blinked, surprised, and then forced a smile onto his face. "It's ok, Pidge, I get it."

But he knew she was right, and he knew that Hunk pitied him. It was pretty clear by the way he had not-so-subtly warned Pidge just now. 

Red growled in his mind, angry. That is NOT true.

Maybe, but the others don't seem to agree.

The beeping of a comm interrupted them and Lance couldn't have been more relieved. Allura tapped the tiny device on her wrist, and a small, holographic screen popped up, hovering over her hand. It showed the inside of a cell located in the brig, and the prisoner inside. The cells had a button that allowed whoever was being held to contact the one keeping them in, in case of emergency or if the prisoner decided they wanted to give information.

"My apologies for the interruption, Princess Allura, but I really must speak with you about the current... situation with my father." 

Lance had never liked Lotor, but for the first time ever he was actually thankful that he was there to remove the attention from him. 

"Alright, I'll be there shortly," Allura sighed, and the comm cut. She stood up while glaring at Lance with suspicion, before turning and leaving the room. The other paladins followed her, Lance trailing behind them, but he broke off soon after to head to his bedroom. 

No one bothered to retrieve him when they made the decision to trust Lotor and discuss the ordeal of Zarkon's offer to trade Pidge's father for Lotor. Lance was only called down after everything had been decided and they needed backup after being double-crossed.

Lance was only needed because he just so happened to pilot the Red Lion.

Nothing more.

Chapter Text

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"Vesuvius, I am here

You are all that I have

Fire of fire, I'm insecure

For it is all been made to plan"

~ Vesuvius by Sufjan Stevens ~

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Chapter Text

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"Wish you'd let me stay

I'm ready now 

I'm not ready

Eyes heavy now"

~ Friends (slowed) by Chase Atlantic ~

——————※——————

Lance tapped the panel again, and the keyboard disappeared, panel sliding up and clicking into place as it glowed for a mere tick before the light faded. 

Chapter Text

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"So, when I lose my gravity in this sleepy womb

Drifting as I dream, I'll wake up soon

To realize the hand of life is reaching out

To rid me of my pride, I call allegiance to myself"

~ still feel by half alive ~

——————※——————

The last thing he remembered was an electric, searing pain all around him.

"Ughh......" A voice groaned. It took him a few minutes to realize that the voice was his own. Forcing himself to open his eyes, he glanced around fuzzily. A hazy, black and blue landscape surrounded him, full of stars. The ground looked like it was made of frosted glass, and the sky reminded him of blue goldstone.

Where am I?

Who am I?

Everything came flooding back in an instant.

The fractured, disassembled plates of the Galra base shield, shattered by Sendak's ship. The radiant energy beam that could destroy the planet below without that shield.

Allura and Lance working together to weld the plates back in place. Something that went wrong with Shiro. The bolts of energy that appeared soon after, threatening to hit Allura. Lance screaming Allura's name and pushing the Blue Lion out of the way, putting Red and himself in danger instead.

The lightning coursing throughout his very being. Seeing white and black dots dance in his vision as he felt his soul being violently ripped from his body. His connection to Red fading as he succumbed to blinding white numbness and a deafening ringing noise.

Was that what it felt like to die?

Am I..... dead?

Suddenly, Lance felt the need to turn around. And so he did.

A red and white lioness stood before him. It was much taller than a normal lion, but somewhat shorter than the Lions. This lioness had glowing, pupilless yellow eyes, and its red, white, and black markings matched the Red Lion. Except this creature wasn't a sentient, mecha robot. The lioness growled low and nervous as she looked around, and Lance realized that he could sense Red's bond in her.

"Red?" He asked, bewildered.

Lance! The lioness turned to him and bounded forward, pressing against him.

"Why are you here?" 

She was silent for a moment, frowning.

I'm sorry.

"So I really am dead, huh?"

If it helps, I'm here too. We're both in the Astral Plane.

"But then how are the others going to form Voltron?"

I have a feeling they wouldn't be able to form Voltron anyway...

"What about Keith— wait, what do you mean?"

Leandro.... There's something that's been going on that we can't ignore.

"Okay.... what's going on?" Lance asked.

You are already aware of how your fellow paladins make you feel. They hurt you, and make you feel worthless. I know that you've felt that way since before you enlisted into the Garrison, Leandro. You are so selfless, young cub, letting everyone lean on you while refusing to lean on someone else. You've thrown yourself in harm’s way to save another, not caring about what could happen to you.

But the others don't see that. They ridicule you, and they don't seem to care much about you. You have so much potential inside that they don't bother to let you unlock.

Lance felt that familiar wave of sadness wash over him.

"But, what does that have to do with Voltron?"

Voltron cannot be formed without all the Lions, yes. But it also can't be formed if there is a rift between you and the others.

There was silence for a minute. "We can't fix that, can we?"

The damage has already been done.

He smiled thinly at his feet.

If we can't fix the rift, the best thing is to accept it and work with it.

"Are you saying—" Lance cut himself off, surprised.

Yes.

Lance flailed his arms, gesticulating while he reeled. "But— but the Galra—"

We will save the universe first. Then we can break away.

Do not pick and choose a side if you do not want to be there. You, Leandro, shall be on your own side, and we will stand up for each other and no one else.

Lance gazed warmly at Red, who bent down. She touched her forehead to her paladin's forehead, purring. Both Lion and paladin smiled as the soft light around them grew brighter.

Until there was nothing but white.

Opening his eyes, Lance saw a blurry, unstable image of a figure in standing over him in Red's cockpit. As his vision grew clearer, he recognized the figure to be Allura, donning her pink paladin armor.

Lance forced a smile. "You saved me."

She brought back his life, but no one could ever take back the hurt that Team Voltron inflicted upon their Red Paladin. If only Allura knew the hell that Lance would put Voltron through in the near future.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"But I'm running out of friends

They just left me here for dead

Heaven fills the empty space

Maybe time will keep this place"

~ holy cross by fog lake ~

——————※——————

He wasn't sure how long he'd been here, but all that Keith knew was that he was dreaming. 

He was definitely dreaming the beach he stood on, and the bright blue ocean in front of him that danced as if filled with joy. From looking at the sky, Keith could tell that it was late afternoon. The sun was going down.

His first instinct was to find shelter, but here there was no need, as it was not real. Keith stood watching the sunset the way he used to from his old shack, but as the sun began to disappear behind the horizon, the ocean waves became more torrential as everything grew darker from the large, rolling storm clouds.

Keith took a step back as lightning struck somewhere behind him, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the hurricane that wrenched water this way and that, roaring in grief and anger. He probably should have looked back though.

The first thing that he noticed was the heat.

At first it was barely there, only noticeable if you really paid attention. It began to grow very slowly, almost unsure. But it rose to high temperatures soon enough, not being able to hold back any longer.

"What the—"

Keith turned around and came face to face with a large wall of fire. It crackled and scorched as it surrounded him, trapping him from all sides and whipping his hair in all directions.

High above him, he saw a pair of two glowing, yellow eyes glaring at him. For a tick, he thought he saw a very faint red silhouette around them, but the flames crept higher and the fumes stung his face. The eyes brightened substantially as a loud, murderous snarl echoed throughout the air.

And then, every noise became muffled. Distorted, almost as if Keith was underwater, even though he wasn't. Something snapped, and his heart crumbled. Everything hurt.

Pain

Loss

Despair

Betrayal

This feeling was something he'd experienced before, but it had never been this intense. Somehow, he could tell that the emotions weren't his own, yet they were. They didn't belong to him yet, as if something in the future would cause him a great deal of grief and longing. For what, he wasn't sure.

And then he heard them.

Faraway whispers, muttering something incoherent.

What were they saying?

The whispers grew in volume, becoming more frantic as Keith struggled to understand what they were saying.

Never again.

They're lying.

Don't listen to them.

Hate is your friend.

Leave them.

Hurt them.

Hurt them.

Hurt them.

Hurt them.

The voices all merged as they wailed that one sentence, leaving Keith stiff with horror, even though he just knew that these messages were not directed at him. 

The voices became just one voice, one that Keith thought he recognized but couldn't place how. It was speaking from behind him, and he turned around to face whoever they were. 

"Keith!"

He jolted up, head knocking into something hard. He yelped and drew back, holding his forehead as he caught sight of the metal ceiling he had smacked into.

"Are you alright?" His mother, Krolia, glanced at him from the seat next to him as she piloted the Altean pod (he had taught her how a while ago—). "You were muttering in your sleep, and you sounded like you were close to panicking."

Oh.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine, it was just a really strange dream..." 

"Okay, well just so you're aware, we should be arriving in about a varga or so." 

Keith nodded and sat back, wondering what the hell that dream was all about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the plates had been realigned and the shield had been repaired, Shiro, Allura, Pidge, and Hunk met with Commander Bogh and Lieutenant Lahn inside the Galra base. Allura had insisted that Lance go back to the Castleship and into a healing pod, just to be safe. He argued, of course, but her stern glare made him shut his mouth, heart cracking. Red was a little sluggish, but otherwise unharmed.

Once he set Red down in her hangar and exited her hulking, metal frame, Lance removed his helmet and turned to look at her. She rumbled lightly, concerned for him. 

Lance sighed and hung his head, eyes closed and brows furrowed. His jaw clenched and his hands tightened their grip on the blue helmet he held. The corners of his eyes stung, and Lance opened them to frown down at his reflection in the helmet visor. At the big, dark circles under his eyes, and at the wetness that prickled the corners of his eyelids. He scowled.

"Why me?" He asked no one in particular.

"Why am I always the one who," Lance's arms shook as he clutched his helmet even tighter, a snarl on his face. "Who has to mess everything up?"

"If it weren't for me, things would've gone a lot smoother and the shield could have been fixed much earlier. I wouldn't have hindered everyone by dying, and Allura wouldn't have had to leave her Lion to revive me. I fucking wasted their time."

No you didn't.

Lance scoffed, the action sending small white dots scrambling along his line of vision. "Well they sure didn't seem to care."

Red rumbled. Either way, the princess is right. You need a healing pod.

He frowned again, knowing that they both were right. 

"... Fine. See you, Red."

Lance headed down to the infirmary, decidedly not going to bother Coran, who was monitoring the paladins' situation through their comms. Besides, Lance already knew how to operate the healing pods.

He removed his armor and, placing the pieces into a neat pile, stepped into the medical suit. Lance sidled over to the pod's panel, tapping across the keyboard to set up the healing process before stepping into the pod. The glass veil shimmered and closed in front of Lance, allowing the cold mist to wrap around his bones and lull him into darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Lance was aware that he was awake and that the healing process was done, he felt himself tipping forwards. His hands shot out on instinct so as to avoid a broken nose, legs stumbling. He rubbed his forehead groggily once he regained his balance and groaned, shivering slightly.

Forgetting about his armor for a second, he started for the door just as the Castle lurched suddenly, sending Lance toppling onto his side. 

Dios, what now?

Stripping off the healing pod suit and shimmying into his Paladin armor that he had left next to his pod, Lance ran out of the med bay, steps fumbling a few times.

There were no blaring alarms, no booming instructions to get to the Lions, no more shudders. It was quiet, with the exception of Lance's footsteps.

He burst into the bridge after several minutes of twists and turns, earning him three wide-eyed glances (though there were four other people in the room—). Through the large observation windows, Lance saw Allura and Lotor's quintessence ship disappear into the rift gate, the white light swallowing it whole.

"Oh..." He panted as Coran anxiously turned back around to watch the gate, worried for Allura. "Sorry for barging in like that guys, just thought we were being attacked."

Shiro ignored him completely, his frostily blank gaze still fixed ahead, never once acknowledging him.

"Nope," Pidge said, eyes never leaving her computer, most likely monitoring the quintessence ship and stability of the rift. "That was just Allura and Lotor leaving the hangar."

Hunk smiled. "That's okay, Lance, I would've thought the same thing."

Well, at least somebody didn't completely hate him.

But, then again, this was Hunk. He was nice to everyone, especially when he pitied them.

The group of five stood around, arms crossed and feet tapping. About six or seven doboshes passed, tension increasing by the tick. 

A loud, quick beeping split through the atmosphere like butter, and Coran jumped into action.

He tapped the consoles once, and he gasped.

"It— it's an Altean pod! A really old one! What's it doing all the way out here?"

Shiro remained unperturbed, his stare still fixed unblinking ahead.

"Let's find out."

Coran requested a comm link between the Castle and the pod, albeit shakily.

"Attention Altean pod," Shiro addressed. "Identify yourself."

An extremely fast series of beeps, lasting only for a fraction of a tick, sounded as a new screen popped up for everyone to see.

And—

"Shiro, it's Keith."

Chapter Text

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"They gouge you out, they dug you in

They took the name right out of your mouth

Hollow heart, your hollow heart, you know

Worlds apart, and we're worlds apart"

~ Black Gold by Foals ~

——————※——————

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith sat in Black's pilot seat, which reclined so that he could sleep more comfortably, but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. Looking out at the stars from the cockpit, he thought back to earlier and recounted the recent events that had transpired, and for some reason his brain was stubbornly fixed on Lance.

Lance was acting kind of weird.

Did something happen? Did Keith do something wrong?

No, Lance was probably just tired, and a lot of things had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

But he had been closed off since Keith had first arrived back to the Castle, so maybe it did have something to do with him, even though Keith couldn't recall doing anything that may have set Lance off.

How much time had passed for the team again? It had been two years for Keith and Krolia because of the time dilation in the Quantum Abyss, but what did that mean for the others? He hadn't exactly asked how long it had been for the rest of the team, so he couldn't be sure yet of what could have happened in the time that passed for them.

Keith threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. He was too tired for this.

He closed his eyes and lay there for a while with no luck of clearing his head.

Black rumbled through their bond, softly like a lullaby that took over his mind and soothed him.

Thanks, Black. He was out within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week came and went, passing by quicker than Keith had expected, considering they spent every minute cooped up in the Lions without stopping to rest on some moon or planet. Everyone made use of their time by chatting together on the Lions' comm channels, conversation topics ranging from serious to extremely mundane. But Keith noticed a lackluster of contribution from a certain paladin sitting in the Red Lion's pilot seat.

Lance had remained.... silent... for the majority of their trip so far. His comms were open and still connected to the other Lions, as Romelle was currently joining in on the discussions from over Lance's shoulder. It had been a week since that whole ordeal with Lotor and the Castle and Shiro's clone, Lance couldn't still be trying to process. He was usually always the one who could deal with these types of things better than the rest of them.

They eventually came to a planet that was, inconveniently, under Galra control. Luckily, there was only a singular base, so it would be easy to take it out while they were there.

The group would sneak in, leaving Romelle, Shiro, and Coran back with the Lions, and destroy the base from the inside. Pidge would hack into the security systems, Keith and Krolia would plant explosives on one end of the base, while Hunk and Allura would do the same on the other side.

And Lance? Fucking by himself.

Lance headed in the direction of what he assumed was the control deck, surprisingly only having to take down a few sentries at a time. He arrived at the control deck, shooting the hand scanner to override the door.

Stepping inside, Lance shot the only sentry in the room, catching the attention of the two Galra lieutenants in the room.

"Hey!" One shouted, and they both ran at the intruder.

Usually, the paladins would just knock their opponents unconscious, but Lance just wasn't in the mood anymore.

He sent a blast towards the nearest Galra and hit him point blank, blowing his skull open and sending him flying from the force of the blow. Blood and bits of brain matter scattered as the lieutenant fell to the floor.

Lance's gun shifted into a broadsword as the other Galra got close enough, surprising the soldier for a tick. Taking the opportunity, Lance ran him through, sinking the blade deep into the Galran's chest. The lieutenant's eyes widened as he wheezed in shock and agony, before the life left his body completely and his limbs went limp. Lance removed his bloody sword from the body just as he heard a low rumbling noise.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Lance turned to face the newcomer. He was clad in Galran armor, and he looked like some combination of Ulaz and Sendak. From the intimidation in his eyes and bulked up armor, it just had to be the commander. He dropped into a fighting stance, bayard going rigid at his side.

"Blue Paladin, where are your friends?"

"Actually, I'm the Red Paladin."

"No matter. All I know is that I'm going to enjoy this." With that, the commander lunged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where is he?

Keith stood with the other paladins several miles from the base, waiting for everyone before detonating the bombs. They had been about to press the button when Keith noticed the absence of Lance.

"He better not have gotten lost," Pidge remarked, and Keith glanced at her. She had been anxious to get back home. They all had.

The doors to the base opened, revealing a figure. It was too far away to tell exactly what or who it was, but it became clearer as it got closer.

Slowly, the dust and the decreasing distance revealed lanky legs, blue armor, and blood.

A lot of it.

Lance carried his helmet in one hand, and a newly unlocked scythe in the other. Dark, drying blood coated the weapon and was spattered across his chest plate. None of it looked to be his though, except for the large wound across the left side of his face. It would definitely scar over, and it ran from the bottom of his jaw, jagging upwards and ending just above his brow. Luckily, his eye had been narrowly missed.

But probably the most concerning of all, Lance looked murderous.

As Lance approached, Allura tilted her head a centimeter. 

"What about the commander?" She asked.

Lance didn't look at her, just continued walking.

"Dead."

Lance suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and stopped in his tracks. Still facing forward, he saw red armor and black hair in the corner of his eyes.

"Lance, are you okay?" Keith asked, his voice laced with concern.

Lance stood still without looking behind him, debating with himself on what to say. He shrugged off Keith's hand from his shoulder and moved forward again.

"Just blow it up."

No response came, just the sound of a major explosion from behind a few seconds later.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Now I know I breathe for a reason

Now I know I write from the mind of a teacher

I used to watch the sheep as they wait for a leader

Now I guess they found out who I am"

~ Black Sheep by Jacob Lee ~

——————※——————

After that mission, the team had avoided Lance like the plague, even after all the blood had been washed from his armor.

They refused to even look at him, and that really pissed him off.

Keith was the only one who still looked his way, but he would look at Lance like he was a puzzle. Calculating glances were sent his way as if trying to figure him out, and Lance was positive that there was something akin to concern.

If Keith and Lance ever locked eyes, Lance would glare and look away.

I don't need your pity.

The wound on the left side of his face had scarred over, leaving behind a large jagged line that, to Lance's credit, made him look badass.

Studying his reflection in the visor of his helmet, Lance realized something about the looks on his teammates' faces whenever he was nearby.

The others were scared.

Lance smiled.

Good. 

Let them be scared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith squinted through the thin smoke that billowed from the camp fire. Hunk had managed to make something equivalent to Earth marshmallows, handing them out as Pidge and Shiro dished out some of the wackiest stories about Matt. Lance had decided to head to Red early for the night, giving Keith the perfect chance to ask the team about him.

Krolia, Romelle, and Shiro wouldn't be able to give an answer, and Coran had fallen asleep in his sitting position.

Allura, Hunk, and Pidge all glanced nervously at each other.

"Lance is fine," Pidge said while Allura nodded.

Hunk piped up. "Yeah. He's probably just focusing on getting back to Earth."

Keith frowned. That would make sense, except—

"Well then what about that Galra base we destroyed a couple weeks ago?"

"I, uh..."

"Um..."

"He was most likely.... tired?"

That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

Keith sighed and stood up. "I think I'm going to go to Black, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." And without another word, he turned and started for his Lion.

Lance used to be so happy and carefree.

Black crouched and lowered her head for Keith to enter her jaws. Halting between Black's teeth, Keith turned around to look longingly at the Red Lion sitting across the clearing.

What changed?

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"All this time you've been faking

Won't you tell me what it's all about?

If only I could read your mind

You keep saying we could work it out"

~ So So LaLa by Strange Talk ~

——————※——————

« 6 months later »

Lance wasn't sure when he had first started to realize that this was fun.

Because this was fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If something had been off about Lance before, something was definitely wrong now.

The first third of the journey had been completed at this point, but there was still about an estimated year left to go. There were more conflicts than they had predicted, draining the energy of the team. Heavy limbs and eyelids from stress and lack of sleep left the paladins weary, tiredness dragging at their bones like the ocean tide.

Now, they were about to leave one of the planets that they had been staying at for a day or two. Team Voltron had just finished loading new supplies into the Lions and were now ready to disembark. Keith had been side-eyeing Lance the entire time, and he was pretty sure that Lance was aware of it.

A splash of pink and white in the corner of his eye told him that Allura had jogged over. "Keith, we're all set to go." 

Keith waved a hand. "You guys go on ahead. I just need to talk to Lance, we'll be right behind you."

She nodded, and the Blue, Yellow, and Green Lions soon were up in the air. Keith looked at Lance, who had his back turned as he made his way to Red.

Lance had become more violent, and he isolated himself even more. The void between him and the team was vast, and it only grew larger with every passing quintant.

At first Keith had blamed it on exhaustion, seeing as it had a big effect on everyone else, but exhaustion couldn't make someone resort to first degree murder rather than solving things as peacefully as possible.

Right?

"Hey Lance?"

Keith was certain he saw the boy stiffen before turning around with a smile on his face, looking a little strained as Keith approached.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah I'm fine! Why?"

Keith twiddled his fingers.

"It's just, you seem kind of... different? These days?"

Lance's eyes darted away.

"Oh. I guess I'm just trying to do everything I can to get home."

Keith frowned. "I get that, but what about the... um, the thing... with the," he stuttered, trying his best not to be blunt, but it slipped out anyway. "The violence."

If Lance's eye had twitched, Keith didn't catch it.

"Ha ha, well this trip is causing a lot of pent up frustration, I think, and there isn't much else to do. Maybe that's just how I'm letting it out? And maybe since I want to get to Earth as soon as possible, I kill enemies instead of knocking them out and tying them up because it's faster?"

Lance looked a little unsure, but Keith had always had trouble differentiating between the nervousness of being put on the spot and the desperation of trying to make excuses.

"Are you sure that's all," Keith asked skeptically, "it's got nothing to do with the team?"

Lance's close-mouthed smile stretched even further across his face.

"Uh-huh, I'm sure."

The Black Paladin looked at him for another moment. "Okay. You know you can talk to me if there's anything else that's bothering you."

Lance nodded.

"Can you promise me that you'll do that if you need to?"

"I promise."

Keith smiled at him before walking away towards the Black Lion.

He didn't see how Red and Black had been leering at each other with fluorescent, flinty stares.

He didn't see how Lance's expression had dropped and settled into a cold glare.

He didn't see how Lance's smile had relaxed into a small grimace.

He didn't see how Lance's hand had dropped down from behind his back.

He didn't see how the index and middle fingers of that hand were wrapped around each other, crossed.

He didn't know that Lance had broken their promise before it had even been made.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"I'd find an answer if I wanted to

I'd be a dancer of a different tune

I won't get entranced

I will be changing soon"

~ Hollow by Cloudeater ~

——————※——————

The journey had been long and harrowed. The lines between night and day blurred together by the minute. It had become harder and harder to form Voltron, but they managed to do it when it was direly crucial. Lance noticed that he had been relying more on his scythe than his blaster or broadsword.

And finally, finally, they had reached Earth, defeated Sendak, figured out Honerva's plan, and set out to destroy her. Allura had planned to sacrifice herself in order to undo all of the damage Honerva had done, but it turned out that the spirits of the original paladins had not actually passed into the afterlife yet. So they sacrificed themselves instead of Allura, bringing balance to the universe one last time.

A whole two years had passed since Keith had confronted Lance during the trip, and never once had Lance talked to Keith like he 'promised'. Keith was really worried, and understandably so. Lance had refused to talk to just about anyone, seeming to only care about eradicating the last of the enemy space pirates.

At the moment, the Lions were under heavy fire from one of these space pirate fleets. The Atlas was currently on its way to provide back up, but had yet to arrive. 

Over the comms, Pidge grunted. "I don't know if we'll be able to take much more without Voltron!"

"I still don't understand why we can barely form Voltron now, like, yeah we've been able to do it when it's super important," Hunk babbled. "But we're so close to ending this war. Shouldn't that be considered important? I think it's pretty important."

Keith's thoughts drifted to Lance, and he was pretty sure he had an idea of why. "I don't know, but for now we'll have to manage on our own until the Atlas arrives."

As if on cue, the proud, white bow of the Atlas came into view, sending a thick, blue beam into the swath of enemy ships. Shiro's face popped up into the Lions' video feed.

"Paladins, sorry we're a little late. How are you holding up?"

"We're under heavy fire," Allura replied, "We may have to retreat."

Shiro nodded. "Alright. Allura, head back to the Atlas and create a wormhole so we can get out of here."

"Roger that."

The Blue Lion whipped around and made way for the large ship, leaving the other four Lions to hold off the pirates until the wormhole opened. 

In the cockpit of the Red Lion, an idea began forming in Lance's mind. Red sensed the idea and determination coursed through the both of them. 

The blue light of the teleduv shone as Allura's wormhole appeared, and the Lions set on their course for it. The Atlas went through first, Allura keeping the wormhole open from the other side, and the Green and Yellow Lion followed soon after. The Black Lion stopped just before going through when Lance yelled out.

Keith turned around to see Red being hit with a particularly strong laser, and the Lion went limp. 

"Lance!" He called as the Red Lion was drawn into the orbit of a nearby moon and began hurtling into its atmosphere.

"Keith, I can't keep the wormhole open for much longer! You have to enter!" Allura yelled through the comms.

"But, Lance just got hit! We can't leave him!"

"Keith, I'm sorry but you have to!" Shiro chimed in. "He'll be fine!"

The Black Paladin looked back and forth between the wormhole and the Lion that was sure to crash. With a guilty glance behind him, Keith drove Black through the cerulean tunnel before it closed completely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance hadn't actually been hit by that shot sent his way. Red purposefully let it graze her in such a way that made it look like she had been hit, and pretended to look like they were going to crash. Thankfully, the space pirates left without investigating.

Before they could hit the surface of the moon, Lance punched the thrusters and Red pulled up, landing gently on the ground.

Lance patted her console. "Okay, good work girl."

Red purred at him. 

"Do you think you can send our coordinates to Keith?" 

Mentally?

"Yeah, and only to Keith."

Lance felt her presence quieten as the Lion reluctantly reached out to her former paladin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We have to go back for him!"

Shiro put his hand on Keith's shoulder. "And we will, but right now we need to focus on the locations of the remaining pirates and make sure they don't threaten any innocent planets. Besides, we were in and out so fast that we didn't have time to add the coordinates to our logs."

"But—" Keith began to protest.

"I'm sorry, Keith."

Keith glowered, turning on his heel and stomping away to his quarters. What would happen to Lance now? Would he think the team abandoned him? Keith was more pissed off now that he didn't have time to grab Lance before the wormhole closed. And now the way that Lance had changed since Keith returned from the Quantum Abyss worried him even more.

The automatic doors to his quarters closed behind him after stepping inside the room. Keith plopped down on the mattress of the bed with an irritated huff.

Then he felt a grumbling sensation in his head that he hadn't felt in years. 

It was a warm presence, but felt more like a hostile fire now rather than the welcoming kindling he had known from the past.

The Red Lion was reaching out to him, and Keith wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a good or bad thing. Keith had tried to connect to Red a few times during the last few years, but was always violently thrown out. Was Lance in trouble and Red was trying to call for help? Or was Lance.... out of commission, and Red was distressed?

A set of coordinates flowed into the river of his brain, and Keith realized that Red was giving him Lance's position. 

Oh, thank God.

As much as he wanted to get back in the Black Lion and retrieve Lance, he knew Shiro was right. But Keith also knew that they could beat the space pirates even easier with Lance.

Keith snuck out of his room and slipped down the halls towards Black's hangar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you send the coordinates?"

Red rumbled in assent, and Lance turned to face the sky.

"Good."

It was finally time.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Why did you change?

Why did you bend and break?

When the water turned to wine,

Did it feel the same?"

~ Structure by Innerpartysystem ~

——————※——————

By some miracle, Keith had managed to get to Black and leave the Atlas without any intervention. He inputted the coordinates into Black's dashboard.

This may not be a good idea.

"What do you mean? We have to get them back."

There may be more to this than you are seeing.

Yet again, Keith thought back to the changes he'd seen in Lance.

"I know, but I don't care."

Black reluctantly sped up towards their destination, and after about ten minutes they came up on the small, desert moon that Red had been hurtling towards just hours before.

"Okay, let's head down there and hope he's alright."

Keith brought the Black Lion into the moon's orbit, bringing up scanners and keeping his eyes trained on the surface for a crash site or the Red Lion.

He soon spotted her and started to fly towards her.

But, Keith realized, there were no signs of a crash for miles. Red was sitting with her head high, as if she had landed normally.

That's weird, they should have crashed after taking a hit like that.

Then, his eyes finally caught the figure standing in front of the Lion, back turned as they faced Red. Keith landed Black nearby and ran out towards Red.

"Lance!"

The figure turned very slightly, just enough so that Keith would be able to see part of their profile if they weren't wearing a helmet.

"Lance come on, I'm taking you back to the Atlas. Red can still fly, right?"

"Yeah," Lance said lowly, "she can still fly."

Keith nodded. "Okay, well let's—"

"But I'm not going back."

Wait, what?

"What?"

Lance didn't look behind him. "You heard me, Keith."

Yeah, but did he hear him correctly?

"Wha—" Keith fumbled, his tongue tripping over itself and his thoughts turning into endless streams of huh? "What do you mean you aren't coming back?" 

He didn't answer.

"Lance, you can't leave! We need you." I need you, he almost said.

A pause.

"No," Lance turned to face him, bayard transformed into a pistol (since when did he get that?—) and aimed at Keith. "You don't."

Keith barely had any time to bring up his shield, and a shot grazed his arm. He grunted at the heat that burned away parts of his armor glove as it passed. 

"I don't—" Keith couldn't process words right now. "Why—"

"Come on, Keith. Isn't it obvious?" Lance sneered. "I'm leaving Voltron. I haven't been a part of it for years anyway."

"I, I don't understand..."

The shadows in his eyes grew more violent. "Of course you don't. You aren't the one who's practically been estranged from the team, and you don't have to try proving yourself worthy countless times over only to be cast aside. You're not the one who wants to show them what you're made of, and make them regret how they treated you."

That was way too specific for Keith's liking.

"..... Is that why you've been more distant?"

"I'm surprised you even noticed."

"But, why are you doing this?"

Lance made an outraged noise. "For fuck's sake, Keith!" He yelled dangerously. "Put the pieces of the puzzle together! Connect the fucking dots!"

The violence and the frequent killing.

The growing void between Lance and everyone else.

The cold demeanor that had taken over.

Attacking Keith, saying he would leave Voltron and make them regret treating him badly. 

No...

Please no...

"Are you..... betraying us?" Keith asked quietly with horror in his voice.

Lance held his gaze with one of the most malicious glares he had ever seen.

"Yes."

With that, Lance summoned his scythe and ran at Keith, who scrambled to bring up his sword. Keith blocked the attack with a parry, the blade of Lance's scythe coming dangerously close to nicking Keith's eyebrow if his helmet hadn't been on. Lance must have known that Keith was terribly off guard, because he sweeped Keith's legs out from under him and sent him onto his back. The sharp end of the scythe pointed down above Keith's jugular, and the Black Paladin found himself staring up at Lance, heartbroken as the Red Paladin fixed him with a cold glare.

"Lance, please. Don't do this..."

"Oh, I won't kill you, not right now at least. I need someone to deliver the news to the team, and they'll listen to you."

So instead of ending Keith's life, Lance cut a long line across Keith's chest and splitting his armor, not enough to kill but enough to send the message.

Lance stepped back, allowing Keith to struggle to his feet and run back to the Black Lion in shock.

Lance turned to Red as the Black Lion jolted into the air, and smiled at the rush of corrupted triumph he felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the Atlas came into view of the Black Lion, a request to open a comm line appeared on Black's screen. Keith accepted, and Shiro was on the other side of the channel.

"Keith! Where have you been?"

"I know you said we couldn't go back for Lance, but—"

"So you went anyway?"

"Listen, the Red Lion sent their coordinates through our old bond, and protecting planets from these space pirates would go a lot faster with Lance. I couldn't not go."

"So then, where is Lance? You said you got the coordinates, but he isn't with you?"

Keith paused. "I'll explain later, I still don't know exactly what happened."

He set Black down in her hangar, and Shiro stood inside the doorway to the hangar with several other Atlas staff. Black opened her maw to allow her wide-eyed paladin to amble down the ramp.

"Keith, you're bleeding!" Shiro turned to one of the other staff as he supported Keith. "We need to get him to the medbay now, go fetch the medics!"

About a minute later, Keith was situated onto a transportable medical bed and was being wheeled down to the medbay. The other paladins appeared in the hallways and ran alongside them, expressions frantic as they asked questions.

Keith tried to answer but was told to hold off until he was fixed up. They got to the medbay and the medics took his blood pressure, heart rate, and checked for any other injuries before cleaning the shallow chest wound and stitching it up. They wrapped it with bandages and advised Keith to get some rest.

Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Coran were then allowed into the room to visit and ask what happened.

"What were you even doing away from the Atlas?" Hunk asked.

"The Red Lion sent me Lance's coordinates, so I took the chance to go and retrieve them."

Allura made a face. "But, he isn't here?"

Keith steeled himself. "He said he isn't coming back. He's leaving Voltron."

"What?" Pidge demanded. "I'm sorry, but that's just absurd."

"Yeah," Shiro agreed. "That doesn't sound like Lance."

Keith suddenly felt a wave of irritation wash over him. "Well, you'd think that after pushing him aside and acting as if he barely exists, it would seem like the best course of action."

Everyone was silent for a moment, the realization of their actions finally catching up to them.

"Lance said that he's going to make us regret what we've done... He's betraying us."

Tears welled up in Keith's eyes.

"I should have known. I— I knew he was hurting and I knew that something was wrong but I didn't do anything about it. This— this is all my fault."

Shiro set a hand on his trembling shoulder. "No, you didn't cause this. It is not your fault."

"But I could have done something! I could have helped him, and I—" Keith bit his lip and hung his head shakily.

"I didn't."

I should have known.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"And I look up to the sky

And I know you're still alive 

But I wonder where you are

I call your name into the dark"

~ Frozen Pines by Lord Huron ~

——————※——————

"We have to go after him."

"But Keith, we—"

Keith glared at Allura from where he sat at the table in the conference room, and she promptly closed her mouth. "We're going to find Lance no matter what. He may have turned on us, but that doesn't mean the Red Lion has. She could be doing this against her will."

Pidge pushed her glasses up on her nose with her index finger. "The Lions are sentient, so the Red Lion could have just locked him out."

"Well, we can't take any chances. We need to make sure, because if Red is being forced to do this, then it will be easier to talk some sense into Lance when he and Red are separated."

"If we can talk sense into him..." Hunk said regretfully.

"Now get to your Lions. It's better to go now than later," Keith declared before turning and walking towards the Black Lion's hangar.

The four Lions took off and flew in the direction of the moon where the incident happened. They orbited the small celestial body at least four times but there was nothing and no one in sight.

"He left... Lance could be anywhere by now." Allura said dismissively, turning the Blue Lion around as if to make her way back to the Atlas, but the Black Lion got in her way.

"We're not leaving," Keith growled. "Not until we get at least a clue of Lance's whereabouts."

"... Fine."

About an hour later, the Lions (minus Red, of course—) were still in the process of scouring the area around the moon. They had split up for efficiency and so far had found nothing.

"It's weird," Pidge commented after attempting to locate and lock onto the Red Lion's signature. "It's like they've completely dropped off the grid. Like Allura said before, Lance could be anywhere by now."

Keith glared at her through the video feed when she repeated what Allura had said. Pidge met his eyes and backpedaled.

"N-no, I don't mean it like that. I'm not saying we should give up, I'm just saying that it's a realistic possibility. You were in the medbay for a few days, so the distance that Lance could have traveled in that time would be significantly farther than the area that we're searching right now."

"She has a point," Hunk added, sounding almost upset.

Keith looked down at his feet. Hunk, Pidge and Shiro had all felt guilty when they realized how their actions had affected Lance. "I mean, I guess so."

Allura on the other hand...

"Does this mean we can turn back now?"

"Allura, why are you so against finding Lance? Ever since he... attacked me, you've been very dismissive about it."

Allura looked to the side abashedly. "I'm sorry, I truly am. It's just, this whole predicament has been reminding me of when Zarkon turned on my father. But now that it's the Red Paladin turning on us, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if it had been my father instead of Zarkon..."

Keith understood that, he really did, but that didn't mean he approved of the way she had been treating the situation. She had been very nonchalant about the whole thing, which isn't really the type of reaction from somebody who claimed that they were being reminded of their past, especially if that past had been full of loss.

Keith sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, okay. We just need to focu— gahh!" 

Something suddenly slammed into the Black Lion, and Keith realized it was a blue light. It felt more powerful than anything he'd been hit with before, but it was somehow familiar too. Black swerved around, looking for whatever had shot at them, and in the corner of his eye, Keith spotted two yellow glints getting closer.

A splash of red and grey collided with Black, grasping with claws and teeth.

The Red Lion.

Red kicked Black back with her legs and sent a large beam from her mouth towards the head of Voltron. The Lions had practically never been hit with shots from another Lion, only being barely grazed on rare, accidental occasions. This was an attack directed towards his Lion that was meant to hit him. 

And because they had never experienced being hit by the full beam from another Lion, Keith was blindsided by how destructive it was. It completely disoriented him and Black, and she flickered a few times.

"Keith? What happened?"

"I think I just found Lance!"

"Really?"

"Yes! And I could really use some help!"

"On our way."

The Black Lion took a few hits since her paladin still seemed to be in shock from the recent events, and was a little too slow to react or dodge. The Red Lion turned as Yellow, Green and Blue came into view, and she fired her tail blaster at them.

"Woah!" Hunk exclaimed in surprise as he, Allura and Pidge just managed to get out of the way. 

Allura tried requesting to open a comm channel with the rogue team member, but it was ignored. "He won't answer my communications!"

"Same here!" Pidge hollered as the Green Lion narrowly missed a set of metal claws to her face.

Keith closed his eyes and began searching, searching, searching for his old bond with Red. It was very faint, hanging by a thread, but it was still there. He did his best to amplify it so that he could try talking to her, but was met with a scorching sting through their link.

Of course she knew the reason Keith wanted to talk to her. She knew that Keith thought she was being forced to attack against her will, thought that she would still be loyal to them. He was mistaken, and Red made sure he realized that by pushing images into his mind. Their bond wasn't strong enough to mentally establish a verbal communication anymore, but Red didn't mind.

Red, please, is this what you really want?

The connection dissipated as the last thread was cut, and Keith couldn't feel her anymore. Only the Lions could destroy the ties they had with their Paladins. Red had given him an answer through completely destroying what was left of their bond, and Keith's heart dropped to his stomach.

This meant that Red was doing this willingly.

She wanted to betray Voltron.

"Guys, I just contacted Red through what was left of our bond."

"Is she still on our side?"

Keith took a deep breath.

"No, she's turning on us, too. She— She cut off the last of our connection, Red destroyed our bond."

"Oh no, this is bad. This is really really bad."

And Hunk was right.

It was terrible.

Blindsided by this new information, the team struggled to evade attacks as Lance had upped the ante, most likely aware that Keith contacted Red.

The Green Lion had gone offline first after taking a particularly strong laser to the head.

The Blue Lion followed soon after due to one too many blasts from Red's tail.

The Yellow Lion was next when she also took a blast to the head, leaving just Black to fend off their former teammate.

Red hurtled towards them and Keith barely swerved away in time. He still didn't want to engage, but it looked like he was going to have to. Black tried to aim for Red, but the other Lion was faster. Red's front paws came into contact with Black and pushed her downwards towards the moon.

Red opened her jaws and a swath of cerulean erupted from them. The beam hit Black and helped push her further, her cockpit shaking with the turbulence. Red claws lifted off of Black's frame as the beam did its job of sending Black down.

"Aghh! Come on, Black!"

The Lion did not respond as they got closer and closer to the small moon. She went offline completely as they began to break the atmosphere, fire taking hold of them. 

Gravity was in control now.

Keith scrambled, trying to get Black to wake up. The surface of the moon was drawing closer and closer by the second.

"No, no, nononono—"

Keith's head hit the console and his conscience slipped away.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"I buried your fangs in the heart of a deep well

Your mouth was on fire and bone sore

I knew you dug for years below the ground

You shouldn't be wild inside if you're a beast in the headlights"

~ Fangs by Little Red Lung ~

——————※——————

Darkness was all that consumed him, but there was a small opening somewhere. One that nudged and prodded him, telling him that there was more out there beyond this cold abyss. There was more to existence than darkness. There was more out there, and it was saying 'wake up.'

He would rather stay here, asleep and unaware, but the darkness was fading anyway.

It was extremely difficult, opening his eyes. His eyelids were really heavy, and everything was blurry.

He groaned.

Somewhat recognisable surroundings with figures moving about? Check.

Aching limbs? Check.

Black spots at the edges of his vision, threatening another possible blackout soon? Double check.

Irrefutable concussion? Check, check, and check.

He was most likely in the medbay of the Atlas again, and oh look, there's Shiro. And Krolia, and Adam.

The Black Lion was there, too. Her presence was quieter though, not because she was hurt, he realized, but because she didn't want to overwhelm him. Apparently the Lions understood what concussions were. Then again, they had been with their Paladins for several years now, it only made sense.

Why was he here again?

Black answered him, softly as to not upset his head injury.

You wanted to look for the Red Paladin, but our sister attacked. I went offline and we crashed.

Oh, right. Now he remembered.

"Keith, you're awake!" Shiro said a little too loudly.

"Ngh, hurts." Keith managed to weakly bite out, screwing his eyes shut at the disturbance.

Shiro's voice dropped to a guilty whisper. "Oh, sorry."

"S'okay. Concussion, huh?"

"Just a small one."

"Mm," Keith mumbled at the pressure that his brain put on his skull. He didn't feel like doing anything but laying quietly, but he had to know, "what about the others?"

Krolia answered. "They're fine. They were discharged two days ago, since they were in better shape than you were."

"Why am I still here?" That was a dumb question to ask, Keith. Gold star for you.

It was Adam who cut in next. "You crashed on a fucking moon. Allura, Pidge, and Hunk had just been smacked around a little and were stuck inside their offline Lions, floating in space." 

"Adam, language."

"You can't tell me what to do."

Shiro paused before smiling softly. "I know."

Krolia watched with amusement as Adam crossed his arms and lifted his chin. "Damn right."

"Lance?" The concussed paladin could barely recognize his own voice.

That sobered his visitors right up. As far as Keith was aware, Krolia and Adam didn't know about Lance's betrayal, only that something was up with him and that Voltron was trying to fix it.

"He—" Shiro started, unsure of what to say with Krolia and Adam in the room. "He wasn't there. We're still trying to get a ping on his location."

Krolia leaned in. "What were you attacked by?"

The answer was easy.

Flinty, yellow eyes.

Shining, curved claws.

Splashes of red and silver.

The Red Lion.

And her paladin—

"I can't really remember," he said instead. "Some space creature or something."

Yeah, or something.

There was a soft knocking at the door, and Shiro stood up to make his way over.

"Who is it?" He called, doing his best to mind Keith's concussion.

The voice that spoke in return was lightly muffled through the door. "It's Veronica. Is Keith awake yet?"

The Atlas captain opened the mechanical sliding door as an answer, and the woman stepped in. Veronica looked like she hadn't slept very well in the last week. Her gaze carried a certain wariness, but worry seemed to outmatch it, and there was absolutely no doubt that the worry over a particular missing person affected the rest of the McClain family. Even in her clearly haunted state, Veronica still stood tall and confident, much like her brother used to, although Lance's confidence was tainted with something darker now.

It was a grim reminder of the person that Keith used to know, the person that had existed in the timeline before the journey into the Quantum Abyss. Keith missed that person. The one who would make jokes during moments of stress in attempts to relieve some of the tension, which often resulted in being ignored or scolded by someone who would say that this is not the time to be fooling around, Lance. These are serious times that call for a mature attitude.

He missed the person who, despite going unnoticed, always tried his best and put as much effort as possible into everything he did.

He missed the person that Keith had come to know before leaving for the Blades, only to return and realize that he never knew this person at all.

He missed the person who used to seem so happy, but now, looking back, Keith couldn't be sure if it had all been an act.

"Hey," she whispered. "Did you find him yet?"

The McClains didn't know the truth either.

"No, we haven't," Shiro said. "We're still trying to locate him. Once Keith's concussion lets up, we'll be contacting and visiting Coalition members to advise them to keep an eye out."

"I'm fine enough to go now." 

"Keith—"

"Shiro, we're missing a paladin and a Lion. We need to find them as soon as possible, and my concussion isn't even that bad."

Shiro frowned. Keith frowned back. 

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll contact some of the members right now, but you need to rest while I do that. You can help when we actually need to travel to Coalition planets."

Keith nodded as Shiro, Veronica, Krolia and Adam left the room, allowing him to rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Atlas hovered in space some miles away from planet Xenrlal, and the four paladins were being escorted to the biggest building in the city to meet with the leader, their Lions seated in the fields that outskirted the capital. The large doors opened for them as they approached, and they were led down a hallway to a throne room of sorts.

The guards that had escorted the paladins stopped in the doorway and bowed.

"King Q'rnir, the paladins of Voltron have arrived to see you."

The king clapped his hands and smiled graciously. "Welcome, welcome! What brings you here today?"

"Your majesty," Keith began respectfully. "Something... happened, and we would appreciate if your people could help."

King Q'rnir paused as he looked them over. "Wait, aren't there five of you?"

"Yes, I was getting to that. Our Red Paladin, Lance, has gone missing. We just need your people to help keep watch for him and report to us if you find anything." There was no use in telling the full truth, they didn't want to spread panic at the news of a paladin going rogue.

"Of course. We will do our—" King Q'rnir suddenly lurched backwards, grunting as a flash of blue connected with his temple. Crimson liquid sprayed from his head, and guards rushed up to him. It happened so fast that there was barely time to process what was happening before Keith spun around.

He caught a glance of an armored boot, with blue and black markings on a white canvas, disappearing past the threshold of the door. Keith took off running.

"Where are you going?" Hunk hollered after him as he helped Allura and Pidge with the king dying on the floor.

"Stay there! I saw someone!" That was Keith's only answer as he turned the corner into the hallway, coming face-to-face with a few dead guards sprawled on the ground, heads lolling. He paid them no mind and tore past them, intent on catching up to whoever had shot Q'rnir.

Some part of him hoped it was the person they had been searching for, but another part really prayed that it wasn't.

As he stepped into fresh air outside the palace, he saw her.

Red was standing with her jaws lowered to the ground as a figure entered her mouth. She then lifted her head, seeming to glare at Keith, before her thrusters began to fire up.

Cursing, Keith ran as fast as his legs would carry him to the Black Lion. He stumbled a little as her maw opened to let him in, and he catapulted into the cockpit.

Black lifted into the air and sprang after the smaller Lion, just as Red fired her magma beam towards the palace, sending flames shooting up around it.

"Shit! Fucking shit!"

Thankfully, Xenrlalian citizens and guards had already been evacuated fairly quickly when they heard of the attempted assassination, and the paladins were outside, supporting Q'rnir's weight between them and staring in horror towards the Lion who had sprouted her fiery anger at the palace.

Keith couldn't hear the screams from his seat inside his Lion, but he knew they were emanating from the crowd as the crown jewel of the planet burned.

Red turned and jettisoned upwards, and Black followed. The others could handle the situation down below. Red climbed higher and higher, breaking through the atmosphere and boosting her thrusters at maximum capacity.

Black was gaining on Red, but Red swung around to face them at the last second, sending a blast to disorient them. When Keith and Black regained their balance, the Red Lion was nowhere in sight.

Keith's fist came down and slammed Black's console in anger and frustration. "No!"

Just like that, Lance had slipped away again.

This time, he had managed to take a few lives with him.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Ooh, I'm breaking down

Whispers would deafen me now

You don't make a sound

It's all so incredibly loud."

~ It's All So Incredibly Loud by Glass Animals~

——————※——————

The Atlas crew stationed in the bridge had seen it happen from where the battleship was hovering.

They saw the Red Lion arrive unexpectedly and land on planet Xenrlal.

They saw her move from her standing position after less than ten minutes.

They saw her power up her thrusters and rise into the air.

They saw people beginning to flee King Q'rnir's palace for some unseen reason.

They saw the Black Lion begin to move at about that moment, making as if to spring at Red.

They saw the light shoot from Red's jaws and make direct contact with the Xenrlalian castle, engulfing it in flames.

They saw Red shoot back upwards as Black followed, right on her tail.

They saw Red whip around and send Black down before darting away, vanishing into the cold, dark reaches of space as fast as she had appeared.

They didn't know what to make of it.

A small crowd had gathered in the Lion hangars by the time Keith, Pidge, Allura, and Hunk landed their Lions inside, clamoring with questions and demands. The crowd parted as Veronica shoved her way through to the front, stopping to face Keith with shock, bafflement, and anger on her face.

"What the hell was that?!" She roared. "Why did my brother, who you claim has been missing, suddenly show up and fucking destroy the city of an ally? Especially when you were right there? And why did he leave when he could have come back!?"

"Veronica, hang on. We—"

"I knew there was more to this whole thing! I suspected that there were things you weren't telling people, and I was right! What the fuck just happened out there?!"

Keith waited until she finished her tirade before speaking slowly. "It's hard to explain, and we were planning on telling everyone eventually, because honestly we're still trying to figure this out. But since you're Lance's sister, I'll explain. But later, not here," he guaranteed, watching carefully as the woman glared.

"Fine," Veronica snapped, giving in at the promise of an explanation. "It better be a damn good one, though."

Shiro's voice suddenly rang throughout the hangar via intercoms. "Paladins, report to the bridge immediately. We have a minor Code Red. I repeat, we have a minor Code Red."

'Code Red' was the term they adopted as a way to let each other know that the situation was related to Lance's betrayal. The irony of the phrase hurt, or at least Keith thought so.

The gathered staff, despite bewilderedly wanting answers, reluctantly stepped away to let them through as they nodded in silent respect. The four paladins raced down winding hallways and burst into the bridge, seeing several video comms pulled up on the screen. Keith recognized the aliens on screen as leaders of some of the Coalition planets, all with similar expressions resembling fear and confusion.

"Please, I'm telling you, I—" Shiro was trying to say, but his words went unheard as the leaders talked over each other furiously. 

"Why would a Lion of Voltron attack an ally?"

"Q'rnir is dead! The Paladins were with him when he was killed, did they do this?"

"If you would just listen—"

"Are we in danger as well?"

"We have dealt with much distrust and betrayal during the Galra reign, how can we be certain that we can still trust Voltron?"

Keith stepped forward so that he was in view of the leaders, being met with reactions of subdued surprise.

"You can still trust us," he said before any of them could open their mouths. 

"But, the Red Lion—"

"Yes, we know what happened. For some reason, our Red Paladin has... turned on us, but I promise that we are trying to handle it. You can trust that none of us here will do anything to harm you, right guys?" Keith turned around to address the others, who nodded their heads sincerely.

The leaders looked hesitant, but were seeming to consider his words. The leaders opened a private comm channel between themselves to discuss the matter. Minutes passed before they returned to the main comm line to share their consensus.

"We are... perturbed by this information, and we are still skeptical. However, we trust that you are being honest in your words, as we have not forgotten what you've done for the universe. May the gods be ever on your side."

The comms disconnected, leaving the team to stand in silence. Keith turned after a moment and headed for the bridge doors, not really knowing what to think or feel.

The mechanics of the doors whirred with a soft whine as they opened and shut behind him. He turned and came face to face with Veronica, who leaned against the wall by the door, one leg bent with her foot planted on the wall behind her and arms crossed. She had been glaring at the floor, only looking up expectantly when Keith approached.

Keith sighed inwardly. "Come on." 

Veronica fell in step behind him as he led her to the room he had been assigned. The room reminded him of the room he had in the Castle of Lions, but with fluorescent lighting and orange accents instead of blue. He gestured to the bed and they sat down.

"Now, what's going on with Lance?"

Keith wasn't sure where to start, so he decided to start from the time he first noticed the change in Lance.

"Several years ago, I left Voltron to join the Blade of Marmora as a full-time operative member. I was sent on a mission to investigate a mysterious strain of pure quintessence beyond what's called the Quantum Abyss, which is a place where dense neutron stars orbit larger dark stars, causing everything to be chaotically pulled in different directions. Apparently the concentration of such massive objects creates strange effects on the fabric of space-time itself.

"I was joined by another member, who just happened to be the mother that I was convinced had abandoned me. Krolia and I were gone for two years, but only a week or so had passed for the team because of the time dilation. We discovered that Lotor had gathered up remaining Alteans after Altea's destruction and created two colonies, where he harvested their quintessence for over ten thousand years. At the time, the team was working with Lotor, who had been lying to them about his true intentions. Krolia and I, along with Romelle who joined us as proof of Lotor's actions, went back to the team to expose Lotor. A bunch of things happened, we defeated Lotor in the quintessence field, and we lost the Castleship."

Keith could already tell that he was going to lose himself in the details of recounting everything, but it had to be done in order for Veronica to understand.

"I noticed that something was off with Lance within the first week or so of the road trip. He was much quieter than I had ever seen him. He would barely speak and he was withdrawn from everyone. Over time he became more violent, more destructive, killing instead of disarming. The rest of the team avoided him and made excuses, and Lance said that it was just pent up frustration when I asked him about it, but that wasn't adding up. He was colder, and he wasn't the person he used to be. There was something darker about his confidence, much darker."

Keith couldn't bring himself to stop.

"I could tell that something was wrong, something he wasn't telling me. I should have paid more attention, because then maybe I might've been able to do something."

A pause.

"During one of those last fights against the space pirates, Red got sent hurtling towards a moon and Allura couldn't keep the wormhole open long enough for one of us to grab Lance in time. We were forced to leave him there. An hour later, Red mentally sent me coordinates to where she and Lance were, and so I decided to retrieve them by myself. It turned out that they hadn't crashed at all, they faked it."

"What? Why?"

"Well, when I landed Black, Lance was standing outside with Red sitting normally, it would be pretty impossible to recover that fast from such a crash. There were no crash sites anywhere on the surface either. Lance told me that he wasn't going back to the Atlas. Then he turned around and shot at me, saying that he was sick of the team acting as if he was worthless no matter what he did, and that he was going to make us regret treating him like shit. He's decided to turn his back on us and betray Voltron."

Veronica looked understandably shocked. "So... several days ago, you weren't actually looking for Lance because he was 'missing,' right?"

"We were looking for him, but because we wanted to figure things out. Red appeared out of nowhere and attacked us, knocking us out and causing Black and I to crash."

Veronica cut in suddenly. "Wait, how was one Lion able to knock out four Lions? Shouldn't the odds have been in your favor?" 

"Maybe, but we were all still confused, and before that we'd never been purposefully attacked by another Lion, so until now we'd never felt how powerful one could actually be by itself. I don't really know how to explain it, but what I'm saying is we were caught off guard by Red's power and the situation in general, and I know I was definitely trying to hold back.

"As for assassinating a Coalition leader and burning a city and its crown jewel to the ground, I don't know why Lance did that if he only has it out for the team specifically. Or maybe that is why he did it, because they're our allies?" Keith rattled. "I mean, I can't say for sure, everything is still pretty puzzling and complicated."

Forcing himself to stop talking was something he wasn't very used to doing, as it was extremely rare for him to be speaking this much. Veronica was visibly flummoxed, brows furrowed tensely. 

"That's really unusual of the little brother I know," she mumbled, just loud enough for Keith to hear. 

Keith inhaled softly and noticed that his breathing was starting to get a little shaky. "Yeah, that's... that's what the rest of the team said when I got back to the Atlas and told them what Lance said when he attacked me."

Silence befell them as thoughts trickled into the waterways of their minds, the rivers growing ever so slightly before overcoming dams that had been preventing them from overthinking, flowing rapidly into lakes and ponds, and filling the cavities of their skulls with reflections and images and quiet utterances.

One mind was attempting to process it all, racing to make sense of what she had just heard, trying to understand this new version of someone she had known almost her entire life.

The other mind was beginning to spiral further into thoughts of what he could have done to save Lance from the path he had begun to travel down.

The figure of the person they had once known was distorting and disfiguring into something that hated, something that had grown into resentment, something that could reside forever if nothing was done to try and fix it.

Where did you go?

And what can we do?

Hey look!! Some official art!!!!

So there you have it, the official design of Lance's trusty scythe and his scar!!

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Been back to back for hours

We'll weaken what they say

About loving like we do

We'd never give this up"

~ Let's Go by Stuck In The Sound ~

——————※——————

Lance couldn't keep the smile off of his face every time he thought of that burning palace.

It wasn't the first time he'd set something on fire, but this was truly something else. It was the type of fire that allowed him to finally begin to let loose everything he had pent up inside over the years, and it was only just the beginning of bringing forth such turmoil.

It wasn't the first time he had killed another living being in cold blood either, but this was also different. He had assassinated the leader of a Coalition planet (which honestly didn't feel any different than the other times—) and he knew that people had seen him, so it was likely that other members of the Coalition were aware by now.

The best part was when he caught a brief glimpse of his former teammates' stricken faces as they saw Red surrounded by flames while evacuating the palace.

Both Lance and Red knew that they were going to get addicted to this rage and destruction, and that they would grow to become even more hellbent on making their former team suffer.

There was just something truly freeing about turning partnerships into pyres, something that neither of them could resist.

While keeping an eye on the whereabouts of the Atlas and the Paladins, Lance and Red recognized this.

They sparked and ignited, bursting into the untamed flames of a wildfire, heat and haze filling up their minds and swirling around their heads like fuming halos.

And they were completely fine with that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several days went by before King Q'rnir was declared clinically brain dead. He had been stationed in the medical bay of the Atlas, hooked up to wires, blood bags, and IV drips that were compatible with Xenrlalians. Practically every medic on the Atlas contributed in the race to save Q'rnir as soon as Ryan Kinkade and Ina Leifsdottir had transported him from Xenrlal to the Atlas, with Kinkade piloting one of the MFE fighters and Leifsdottir watching over Q'rnir in the cargo hold, as she had more medical training than the other MFE pilots and was more accustomed to flying in the fighter than any of the official medics (some of them argued that one of the actual medics should go instead, but James Griffin shut them down pretty quickly once he mentioned that none of the medics had ever flown in an MFE fighter, the pressure and center of gravity was different than they were used to. Leifsdottir would have a much easier time than the medics.)

Q'rnir had been one of many assets to the Coalition, and many were devastated to hear about his death. Of course, the Paladins and Coalition leaders kept the details on the down low, fearing the freak out that would occur if it slipped out that the Red Paladin was now a traitor.

They honored the Xenrlalian tradition of cremating their dearly departed and scattering the ashes inside the orbit of a star in hopes that when the chosen star dies and goes supernova, their lost loved ones would completely join ties with the universe at last.

Eventually, the Paladins found themselves sitting at the large table in the meeting room along with Shiro, Veronica, Coran, Krolia, Adam, and Iverson. At the head of the table with her computer out, Pidge stood, tapping away. Wordlessly, Keith handed his helmet over to her, and she hooked it up to a wire connected to her computer.

"Okay, I managed to grab Keith's helmet feed documented about an hour or so after our most recent confrontation with the space pirates. Pulling it up now," Pidge said, and shortly a recording popped up on the projected screen for everyone to see.

RPH2 - REC.502563721652

Play selected recording?

>>Yes          No

"Okay, let's head down there and hope he's alright."

Keith brought the Black Lion into the moon's orbit, bringing up scanners and keeping his eyes trained on the surface for a crash site or the Red Lion.

"Lance come on, I'm taking you back to the Atlas. Red can still fly, right?"

"But I'm not going back."

"Lance, you can't leave! We need you."

A pause.

"No," Lance turned to face him, bayard transformed into a pistol and aimed at Keith. "You don't."

"Come on, Keith. Isn't it obvious?" Lance sneered. "I'm leaving Voltron. I haven't been a part of it for years anyway."

"I, I don't understand..."

The shadows in his eyes grew more violent. "Of course you don't. You aren't the one who's practically been estranged from the team, and you don't have to try proving yourself worthy countless times over only to be cast aside."

("Pidge—")

"You're not the one who wants to show them what you're made of, and make them regret how they treated you."

"But, why are you doing this?"

Lance made an outraged noise. "For fuck's sake, Keith!" He yelled dangerously. "Put the pieces of the puzzle together! Connect the fucking dots!"

"Are you..... betraying us?" Keith asked quietly with horror in his voice.

("Pidge.")

Lance held his gaze with one of the most malicious glares he had ever seen.

"Yes."

With that, Lance summoned his scythe and ran at Keith, who scrambled to bring up his sword. Keith blocked the attack with a parry, the blade of Lance's scythe coming dangerously close to nicking Keith's eyebrow if his helmet hadn't been on. Lance must have known that Keith was terribly off guard, because he sweeped Keith's legs out from under him and sent him onto his back. The sharp end of the scythe pointed down above Keith's jugular, and the Black Paladin found himself staring up at Lance, heartbroken as the Red Paladin fixed him with a cold glare.

"Pidge!"

The girl flinched at Shiro's sudden exclamation, hand slamming down to pause the playback of the recording, showing only Lance's snarling face on screen. Lifting her head to look at him, she saw that her teammates had stood at some point and were now huddling around a certain spot at the table.

It was only when Hunk shifted back slightly that Pidge noticed the messy mop of inky black hair burrowed into folded arms that rested rigidly on the surface of the tabletop. 

Pidge hadn't considered or even thought about how Keith, whose shaking shoulders now betrayed his silent crying, would be affected by this. Being forced to relive a pretty upsetting memory, now with a clearer mind and knowledge of what would happen next, it would definitely bring back the traumatic confusion from the moment.

Pidge wanted to say something, but she just could not think of what to say.

No one could think of what to say.

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Come a little closer, then you'll see

Things aren't always what they seem to be

Do you understand the things that you've been seeing?

Do you understand the things that you've been dreaming?"

~ Come A Little Closer by Cage The Elephant ~

——————※——————

Keith had locked himself in his quarters after that, refusing to speak to anybody.

Veronica wished she could do the same, still reeling from everything she had just seen on that screen. She didn't want to believe it, she couldn't. But she had to, because she had seen the Red Lion attack the citadel on Xenrlal for herself. Furthermore, she had come to know and trust each member of the Voltron team with her life, and she knew they would never lie to her about her brother, their own teammate. Especially Hunk, who had been Lance's best friend ever since they were toddlers when Hunk's mothers, Talia and Sefina, met Lance's mother, Rosa. Speaking of which, Hunk had to have been devastated.

It was also troubling that the Red Lion was willingly helping Lance rather than kicking him out and returning to the team, even breaking her last ties with them by destroying her old bond with Keith.

And Keith.... well, you know. Veronica knew that he was in love with Lance, she saw the signs. It was hard for her to imagine being in love with someone for years only to have them turn their back and do everything they could to destroy you.

Pacing down the hallways of the Atlas, Veronica thought about the helmet recording she had seen less than an hour ago. Those cold, calculating stares, the malice in Lance's voice and stance, and the things that he said had all told her the same thing. That is not my brother, she told herself. That's not Lance. He would have never done the things Keith said he did if he wasn't being treated right. He would bottle it up, and apparently that's what he had been doing until Lance became Red's paladin and—

Wait a minute.

The Red Lion.

She was a big variable here, and she had rejected Voltron too.

And if Lance began to change when he became her paladin...

This has to be her doing, right?

A wave of anger washed over Veronica as she realized this must have been all Red's fault, and she chose to ignore Keith's account of Lance being mistreated heavily as well as spoken proof coming from Lance himself in that helmet feed. 

At some point in her pacing, she bumped into Acxa, who could tell immediately that something was bothering her. After being asked what was wrong, she explained most of what Keith had told her about what was happening. Acxa was understandably shocked, but extremely quick to comfort Veronica.

"We'll get him back. We'll be able to fix it," Acxa consoled, praying that she would be right and that the team would be able to fix this.

Veronica looked at the stars from a window in the hallway, glaring into empty space and feeling hatred and resentment for the Red Lion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance and Red decided it would be a good idea to land on planet Lnocht after looking through the database that every paladin had for planets, and finding that Lnocht's inhabitants were extremely skilled with machinery upgrades, including ancient, Altean-designed machinery. When they landed, they were lucky enough that Lnocht was on the outer skirts of the Coalition in terms of rank, so they hadn't heard what had happened on Xenrlal yet.

Their methods were a little similar to the Olkari, but no one ever really paid them any mind compared to the Olkari. These people didn't mind, though. The Lnochtian engineers got to work on Red right away, upgrading her weapons system, speed, and reaction timing, and then they would load a year's worth of supplies into her cargo bay. They even offered to improve Lance's bayard, which he accepted right away. When they were finished several hours later, Lance hopped into Red and they took off, both marveling over Red's new maneuverability and strength.

Lance knew he wouldn't feel guilty once Lnocht finally found out what he had done, and he wouldn't feel guilty knowing that they would feel terrible once they realized they had helped a murderer.

Chapter Text

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"They couldn't think of something to say the day you burst

With all their lions and all their might and all their thirst

They crowd your bedroom like some thoughts wearing thin

Against the walls, against your rules, against your skin"

~ Sleepyhead by Passion Pit ~

——————※——————

He was eager to launch another attack, tingling with anticipation and a determined look adorning his features.

Lance and Red were following the Atlas from a good distance away so as not to be identified. The other Lions had to have been in their hangars, as only the battle cruiser itself could be seen. 

Eventually, someone on the bridge must have noticed something, because the other Lions suddenly flew out from the Atlas and headed in their direction. With Red's new upgrades and the knowledge that the other Paladins were most likely still hesitant, Lance knew that it wouldn't be too difficult to handle all four Lions. 

As expected, an incoming comm request popped up on Red's dashboard, and like last time, it was declined. Red growled in excitement as the others drew closer, and they lunged. 

They targeted Blue first, firing at close range and hitting her dead on, knocking the Lion off course. The Yellow Lion attempted to pounce on them from behind, but Red moved at the last second and Yellow hurtled into Blue.

Something invisible smashed into Red's side, sending her careening towards Black. Lance caught a glimpse of the Green Lion becoming visible again, losing the cloaking she had activated before when he wasn't looking.

Luckily for them, Red's maneuverability was increased greatly, and instead of smacking into Black, she extended a paw. Red's metal claws scratched Black's wing, and she used the momentum to swing herself over the Black Lion and under her belly. Before Keith could react, Red sent a laser towards the chest of the head of Voltron.

Red dodged again as Blue attempted to fire at her, who instead accidentally shot the Black Lion. Green and Yellow together tried to attack, but Lance got to them first. Red sent a powerful laser towards Yellow, incapacitating her while Red swiped at Green.

The Blue Lion attempted to bat Red away as Black regained her bearings, but received a harsh set of claws to the face, scratching the paint. Blue then was hit by another strong cerulean beam to the head, shutting her down.

Black and Green faced each other with Red in between them, and they flew towards her. Red propelled herself at Black, metal paws bounding off of the other Lion's head, flipping backwards towards the Green Lion. She landed on Green's back effortlessly, and before Keith could move to help Pidge, Red's teeth sunk into Green's neck.

A crazed grin spread across Lance's features, and he pulled the controls as far back as they would go with such a force that could rival even the destabilization and explosion of dying stars.

Red dug her claws into the seal that held the green paneling and the Green Lion's neck together, and she pulled her head back as her paws pushed the other Lion's shoulders downward.

Circuits broke and wires snapped. 

Smoke filled the space around them, clearing enough soon after to show Red holding Green's severed neck and head in her jaws, with the Green Lion's dead, empty eyes staring down at her limp body.

There was no doubt that the other Paladins and the Atlas crew were frozen in horror at the scene in front of them.

Tossing the head aside, Red fired a shot into the gap where Green's neck used to be.

The Green Lion's body exploded into shards and jagged pieces of metal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Physically, Pidge only suffered a broken leg and fractured ribs, as well as a pretty nasty headache.

Mentally, she was traumatized.

Losing the Green Lion permanently was an absolutely devastating blow, one that they had never expected to happen, and especially not by Red's doing.

No one said a word to each other after everything that had just happened, there were only murmurs between staff in the hallways whenever Keith walked by.

And later when James makes an off-handed comment about McClain just being extremely dramatic and a big baby, Keith punches him in the face.

No one blamed Keith, though.

Shutting the door to his room behind him, he sunk into the mattress of the bed, thinking everything over.

He didn't know when he had fallen asleep.

At first, everything was just... white. He could hear nothing, or rather, there was nothing to hear. 

His vision eventually cleared of whatever was clouding it, and revealing—

Revealing... Red.

She hovered in front of him in the middle of space, just as she had done when he first became her Paladin and she rescued him after he proved he was worthy of piloting her.

She wasn't saving him when she leaned forward and clamped her jaws shut around him.

And standing in front of him inside Red's jaws was Lance, with his scythe in hand and his eyes glowing like a wildfire.

Lance yelled, bringing his scythe down and swinging it upwards at Keith, the sharp end pointed down and the blade towards the Black Paladin.

Suddenly, he was in the Black Lion, and there was something outside.

The shattered body of the Green Lion was the first thing he saw, her broken pieces floating aimlessly in a sharp cluster of limbs.

The Blue and Yellow Lion hanging uselessly in space, dead in the water and limp.

The Red Lion facing him, looking as alive as ever, and her eyes began to glow brighter the closer she drifted to him.

Her flinty, yellow eyes illuminated to such an extent that the brightness was all he could see, it blinded him.

Keith screamed, jolting awake.

Breathing wildly, he looked around to find that he was not in the Black Lion, but the shock and fear that filled his mind still lingered.

Taking deep breaths, he tried to calm himself down. Black reached out to him to try and comfort her shaking paladin. 

Don't worry, you fell asleep and had a nightmare. Everything is alright.

But they both knew that everything wasn't alright. Black wasn't exactly the best at comforting, so that was something the both of them had in common.

Stumbling out into the hallway, Keith remembered that the two of the MFE pilots, James Griffin and Nadia Rizavi, were going to scout around the area where the recent events had transpired earlier, including the nearest uninhabited planet. They had probably finished by now, or were about to head back to the Atlas. He decided to head to the bridge to see if there were any updates on that.

Walking into the bridge, he was met with a myriad of concerned faces, comm lines with someone open on the displayed screen, but nothing was coming through.

"Shiro, what's going on?"

"Rizavi and Griffin stopped responding to us half a varga ago, and we can't contact them in any shape or form. Last we know of, they touched down on Enell-194718 and were scouting around for anything suspicious. We heard them saying they heard something behind them before all communications were cut." 

"Do you think something happened to them?"

Shiro looked down with his hand loosely curled into a fist below his nose, thoughtful yet worried. "I'd hope not, but it's certainly a possibility we can't overlook."

"I can go." 

Shiro paused. "What?"

"I can go look for them," Keith stated, not asking to go, but saying he would go.

The Atlas captain was reluctant, but he eventually gave in. "Take one of the other Paladins with you, and be careful."

"Got it." 

Keith was able to find Hunk pretty easily, who agreed to join him, as Pidge wasn't handling things well at the moment and Allura was keeping her company.

When they touched down on the deserted, empty planet, the first thing Keith noticed was the stillness. The abandoned, ancient, concrete buildings were stiff and jutted out of the ground at an angle. The damage was not new, it seemed to be hundreds of years old, as the sharp edges of divots, cracks, and gouges had eroded away, leaving behind smoother surfaces.

The MFE fighter jets weren't too far away, landed in an open area of the once-city that was now abandoned and left for dust.

They took to searching one MFE fighter each and looked around the pilotless jets for any clues of where their owners might have gone.

"Keith," Hunk called him over. "I found footprints over here."

Sure enough, there were two sets of footprints leading away from the fighter jets, heading left for a building nearby. Griffin and Rizavi had most likely gone to the top floor for a better view of the landscape.

The building was essentially like a watchtower. It had a small interior, but was very tall with a single set of stairs leading up to the roof. 

Summoning his bayard, Keith ascended the steps at a careful pace, with Hunk following closely behind him.

Once they reached the roof, they were met with blood splatter and two bodies clad in white, armored suits with orange accents.

One they identified to be James Griffin. The other was Nadia Rizavi.

Hunk gasped in horror, face paling and tinting a slight green. Keith grimaced at the sight. Something pulled at his mind, as if trying to tell him that he knew who had done this to the fighter pilots.

He examined the bodies, noticing that most of the blood was concentrated around their faces and the backs of their heads. There were blood-filled cracks in the back of each of their helmets, which were discarded on the floor nearby. From what he could tell, each of them had just one major injury, and that there were no other injuries anywhere on them.

They had holes in the middle of their heads. There were no bullets or bullet casings to be found in the area, meaning that it was most likely done by an energy blaster of sorts. Of course, Keith was no coroner or forensics expert, though he had taken a little bit of interest in it before he met his friends and was launched into space.

He looked at the holes as best as he could, noticing a concentration of tiny, glowing cerulean particles embedded into their brain tissue and flesh. Definitely a blaster of some sort that emitted blue energy.

Keith was instantly reminded of Q'rnir. The circumstances of the deaths and bodily injuries were extremely similar, if not the same.

Hunk carefully took Nadia up into his arms to bring her back to his Lion, and Keith reluctantly and disdainfully picked up James, before looking again at the hole in his head.

And just for a moment, Keith thinks that he deserved it.

Chapter Text

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"Hatred will sprout suspicion and doubt

Friendships deny while allegiances die

The taste will be sweet when you get what you've earned

And I'll watch you burn"

~ Divide by Casey Lee Williams ~

——————※——————

After the MFE fighters and the bodies of their pilots had been brought back to the Atlas, a funeral was arranged to happen later that very day. Casket pods and flowers. All anyone could focus on was how. How did this happen? How could this have taken place within such close range of the Atlas? Who killed them? And why?

Only the Paladins and the dead knew the answers to these questions. 

Veronica payed her respects and grief before taking her leave. The hallways seemed longer than usual as her mind wandered elsewhere. Her feet slowed to a stop and she found herself standing in front of a door, the door to the room her parents were staying in. Pressing the button next to it on the wall, she waited for her parents to answer. The mechanical doors slid open and Veronica stepped inside.

"Veronica?"

A short silence.

"I need to talk to you guys about something."

Rosa McClain looked at her daughter worriedly, putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her to the couch. Carlos McClain set a hand on Veronica's shoulder as he sat down next to her. 

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I think so, but..."

They waited patiently for her to continue, never interrupting and never pressing her.

"It's about Lance."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rosa and Carlos McClain did not buy all of what their daughter had told them. Of course, it was hard to believe that Lance had become this... killing machine. Though, they had noticed that Lance had been pretty distant ever since the Paladins initially returned to Earth. What Veronica had told them didn't exactly make a lot of sense, either. She told them that the Red Lion was behind this, that she was the one who changed Lance. But, Keith had piloted Red before, and he didn't end up like Lance at all. 

They knew Veronica wasn't telling them everything, or at least not the parts that she herself didn't want to believe.

Their best bet was to talk to Keith.

Carlos and Rosa stopped at Keith's door and knocked, laying eyes on his teary cheeks when the met them at the open doorway.

"How can I help you?"

"Tell us what happened to Lance. The truth."

And Keith told them everything.

Because how could he lie to Lance's parents?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We've been picking up trace signals of the Red Lion in this system here." Keith pointed to the display in front of the table in the meeting room. "I'm going to lead a scouting mission tomorrow to check it out. Allura and Matt, you're with me."

"I'm coming too." 

Keith looked incredulously at Rosa, who had risen up out of her seat and was staring at him with determination in her gaze. Carlos looked worried.

"Mrs. McClain, it could be dangerous-"

"I said I'm coming with you. I'm going to find my son and bring him home."

Keith sighed, relenting. "Okay, just be careful."

"Oh don't worry, I can handle myself." She smiled.

"Meeting dismissed."

Chapter Text

starting off with my first ever drawing for tbbb, which i made around january of 2021! its pretty simple, just lance surrounded by fire :)

this one i made soon after the first one. this is the scene from chapter 5 where red argues with the other lions about lance's place on the team

now this is one of my most recent drawings for the fic. this actually shows the offscreen battle between lance and the galra commander in chapter 8, in which lance commits murder and gets the infamous scar

this scene also takes place in chapter 8, right after lance killed the commander and got his scar. this one was drawn earlier in the year

this one was also done around the same time as the previous drawing. i was listening to the stranger things soundtrack and 'this isn't you' came on, and i was like.. ayo art idea??

thats all for now eee

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"Dig a hole

Fireworks exploding in my hands

If I could paint the sky

Well all the stars would shine a bloody red"

~ Black Out Days by Phantogram ~

——————※——————

They left the next morning.

Rosa McClain, dressed in a Garrison flight suit, stood behind Keith's chair as he piloted the Black Lion towards the abandoned base. Allura and Matt fell alongside him in Blue.

"Remember everyone," Keith spoke. "This is a scout mission. We don't want to engage if possible, especially since we have a civilian with us." 

Rosa tapped his shoulder pointedly. "I'm not just any civilian, I'm Lance's mother. I also have a small blaster on me as a precaution. If I have to use it, well, let's just say I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that. And don't make me shoot you either."

Keith knew she was upset about the team's past treatment of Lance, he was too. "... Noted."

"There appears to be an abandoned rebel outpost nearby."

"Then that's where we'll go first."

They landed the Lions outside and jetpacked inside. It was dark and there was no gravity.

"Hold on a second guys." Matt tapped away at the little screen on his wrist, and soon the lights flickered on and the gravity switched from zero back to normal.

There appeared to be two large hallways that diverged from the main room of the outpost.

"Okay, we'll split up here," Keith announced. "Matt, you're with me, we'll check out the left hallway. Allura, you and Rosa will take the right. And be careful."

Rosa sent him a mirthless glare, she could handle herself.

Keith and Matt headed down the left corridor. Each room attached to the corridor acted as either some form of personnel quarters or meeting rooms. None of the rooms had anything interesting in particular about them.

"Allura, have you had any luck over there?"

"Nope. All the rooms here are empty, and they seemed to have acted as living quarters. It looks as if there hasn't been any activity here in about a year or so, there's nothing to indicate that Lance was here."

"We're having the same results over here. I'll contact you if we do find anything."

"Roger that."

It wasn't until they reached the end of the hallway that they found something. Matt only happened to look down a yard or so near the end of the hallway. 

"Keith, look." He had crouched down to observe something on the metal floor, and Keith did the same. Outlined by the dust were footprints heading in the same direction they were. They looked like they had belonged to armored boots, specifically from Paladin armor.

Keith stood. "It's him."

He commed Allura about their findings, and she let him know that she and Rosa would be on their way. Carefully, Keith and Matt proceeded towards the room at the end of the hallway.

Soon, a light layer of smoke became noticable throughout the entirety of the corridor. By the time Matt and Keith reached the last room, flames skirted around the edges of hall. Bursting into the opening of the room, they found themselves face to face with the owner of the footprints.

There was a large wall of fire surrounding them on all sides, licking at the walls of the abandoned rebel outpost. And Lance was the storm in the middle of everything, glaring down at Keith with an unwavering, icy gaze.

Leveling his blaster, finger over the trigger, Lance readied himself to shoot.

Matt never saw it coming. Keith didn't register the blood and brains splattering his helmet until it was too late.

"We heard gunfire! Is everyone alright?" Allura rounded the corner with Rosa in tow. They must have been just down the hall when Lance fired.

Lance pointed his blaster in the direction of the newcomers. They both froze as they took in the scene in front of them. Rosa's eyes, brimming with tears, slid up slowly to look at her son, fear and apprehension in her gaze.

"Hijo?"

She sounded so broken.

Lance almost dropped his Bayard as he registered his mother standing across the room. 

"Mom?"

He hesitated for a second before rounding on Keith.

"Why did you bring her here? Do you think I wanted her to see this?" He hissed. 

"Hijo, why are you doing this?" Rosa approached him slowly and speaking softly, as if trying to calm down a rabid animal to no avail.

Lance turned to her again. "You wouldn't understand, mom. You weren't there."

"Lance, we can fix this! Just let us help you with whatever you're going through, let me help you," she pleaded.

"Heh," Lance chuckled disbelievingly. "Fix this? Mom, I've killed many people. Hell, I assassinated a Coalition leader. This scar I have? I got it several years ago, the day I first murdered someone. Listen, if I back down now, I'll be thrown into maximum security. What would be my benefit?"

Keith stepped forward. "Lance, please, we just want you to be-"

"What, to be normal again? You're kidding, right? You think that the Lance you used to know before you left us was normal, and the Lance now is not normal and needs fixing? Is that what it is?" 

"No! That's not it at all!"

"Then what is it? Define normal for me, and how you want me so badly to be normal again. Go on, tell me."

Keith hesitated. "I- I can't-"

"Exactly," Lance sneered. "You can't. Now, I couldn't go back with you even if I wanted to. The only way things will be back to 'normal' again is if you kill me, that way things will be nice and peaceful for you, right?"

"Leandro, please..."

Lance's gaze hardened and locked onto Keith. 

"I will not go quietly."

A large, Lion paw suddenly slammed through the ceiling while another one tore the roof from its place. Piercing, yellow eyes gleamed from the large, fiery hole as the Lion growled. Red had come.

Something in the back of Keith's mind squirmed as he remembered something. Back when he, Krolia, Romelle and Kosmo were in an Altean pod heading for the Castle of Lions, when his mother had woken him from a nightmare, one that he had put off to the side and told himself he would ponder it later. He never got around to that.

That nightmare, and those voices....

Keith was sure of who they belonged to now.

Metal beams fell around them as the outpost began to collapse. 

"We need to get out of here!" Allura shouted.

Keith tried to scoop up Matt's body, but Allura grabbed him. "There's no time!"

Regretfully, he and Allura headed for the hallway, but Rosa was locked in place. Keith pushed her towards the exit, they had to escape.

"No, Lance!" She tried to struggle, but Keith was stronger. She had her arm stretched out for her son, but Keith couldn't see if Lance reacted or not. Eventually she gave in and ran with the other two Paladins in the direction of the Lions.

They boarded Blue and Black without any words and lifted off of the base. Out of the corner of her eye, Allura saw a flash of blood colored metal swooping towards her.

She grunted as Blue's cockpit rattled, and her sensors confirmed that the Red Lion was attempting to latch onto Blue and tear her apart.

"Hold on, Mrs. McClain!" 

The Black Lion rammed into Red, freeing Blue from her grasping claws. The hate-filled Lion was thrown backward, but she righted herself with her thrusters.

Red started for Black, about to lunge, but stopped herself. Lance probably remembered that his mother was on board. Red glared at the Black Lion as they drifted, before turning and flying away from them.

For some reason, Keith hated to see them go.

Rosa was silent for most of the way back to the Atlas. All three of them were.

"What happened to my son?"

Keith winced. 

"He... I think he killed to release his anger at us. I guess eventually, killing our enemies got too boring for him."

"He's gone insane," Allura added. "It's too late to go back and fix things. He said so himself..." She trailed off regretfully.

Rosa sobbed. 

"He's not the sweet, little boy I once knew. Not anymore."

"No," Keith murmured. "He isn't."

Chapter Text

——————※——————

"But, oh, my heart was flawed

I knew my weakness

So hold my hand,

Consign me not to darkness"

~Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons ~

——————※——————

Four people had left on that scouting mission.

Only three of them returned.

The four, no, three of them headed from the hangars towards the main bridge of the Atlas. 

Keith, drenched in blood and brains and trembling with something he couldn't quite place. Anger? Fear? Shock? Some combination of the three?

Allura, mourning the loss of her friend, in more ways than one. She and Matt had grown close during meetings with the rebels, and he reminded her of one of her friends back on Altea before the war.

She was also mourning the loss of Lance.

It was all becoming increasingly clear that the team had incredibly, majorly fucked up.

And Rosa. Rosa was devastated. Her son, her little boy whom she had watched grow up, killed someone right in front of her. 

She couldn't believe it. She couldn't.

A patter from down the hallway caused the three of them to flinch.

"You're back! You're-" Coran slowed to a stop in front of the group, eyes filling with shock and concern as he noticed Keith's armor was more red than usual.

"You're hurt! We must get you to the medbay! And... wait, where's Matt?"

Allura casted her gaze down.

"...it's not my blood." Keith mumbled, numb and unfeeling. 

Coran blanched. He understood the implication. "... Oh dear."

And that was when Allura began to sniffle, tears slowly sliding down her face. 

"I..." She began. "I apologize for the way I acted when all of this began to happen. I was very brash, and I should not have been. I always believed Lance to have been... dramatic. I know it isn't true, and I have had many misperceptions about him, about all of you in the past."

She glanced meaningfully at Keith, who was struck with a jolt. She was referring to how she treated him after he made the discovery that he was half Galra. Allura must have still been feeling guilty.

"Allura-"

"And I'm sorry if I've made things difficult, I have not been very princess-like these past few years."

She gasped when a hand came down on her shoulder.

Although Keith had been pretty pissed when the princess had taken the situation lightly before, he appreciated the apology. She was still his friend. "Allura, it's alright. We understand." 

She smiled wobbily, before stepping away with Coran to head for the main bridge.

And, speaking of apologies...

"Mrs. McClain, can I talk to you?" It was more hesitant than Keith intended.

The woman in question turned towards him. "Rosa, call me Rosa."

The Black Paladin fiddled with his fingers. 

"I want to apologize."

"What for?"

Keith heaved a sigh, forlorn. "All of it. For not being there for Lance. The team shut him out and mistreated him, and we should have realized it. I- We should never have let it come to this. And, I wasn't even there to defend him. If I hadn't left Voltron for the Blade of Marmora, none of this would have ever happened in the first place." Keith paused. "And I'm not expecting you to tell me it's okay or that it's not my fault, I just wanted to apologize."

"I accept your apology. Although, you must know that you can't be taking all the blame for yourself. It's a terrible situation, you couldn't have known it would come to this. You did not know how unstable he was. From what I know, he held everything in until he burst, classic Lance style. Of course, I'm still angry. My husband is angry. We wish it never had to happen in the first place."

Keith nodded, not meeting her eyes.

"But..."

He looked up.

"If it comes to it that, he has to be... dealt with, I'll understand."

Keith wasn't sure he heard her right.

"...What?"

"While I may not like it, there are always casualties in war." She sounded less like the caring, sweet, innocent woman Lance had described, and more like a battled hardened warrior.

"But, he's your son! How could you say that?" 

Her expression crumbled a little at that. "He is, but he's also killing people. Innocent people. If he needs to be dealt with, go ahead."

Keith was shell-shocked, to say the least, but he knew she was right. He nodded slowly, mouth still slightly open from gawking a little.

"And... how is your family holding up?"

"My husband, Veronica and I have been trying to cope as well as we can. The others dont know, I can't bring myself to tell them..."

"You want to protect them from the truth," Keith guessed.

Rosa looked so resigned. It was not a look anyone ever wanted to see on someone like her. "That's part of it, they only know he's missing. I want them to still think of Lance as a hero, but I may have to tell them eventually." 

"Yeah, I understand. I... heard Veronica hasn't taken the news well. I mean, there really isn't a way to take it well in the first place, but..."

A pause, a shift in mood.

"Veronica seems to think that the Red Lion is behind all this, that the Red Lion brainwashed Lance. She wants to believe that the brother she knew is still there. She knows Voltron hurt him, and she knows that he was mistreated. I believe she just doesn't want to accept that he isn't... himself anymore. It's easier for her to think otherwise. She seems to have forgotten that war changes people, as she hasn't had much experience in war herself until the Galra invaded Earth. But even then, there was barely any direct fighting them. Most of that was you Paladins."

"... I'm sorry." I'm sorry she feels that way. I'm sorry she doesn't understand. I'm sorry that we did this. I'm sorry that I didn't stop it.

Sensing everything he meant to say, Rosa shook her head. "Don't apologize. It isn't entirely your fault. Everyone plays a part in something, whether it's big or small. Don't blame yourself for what you weren't there for. And I can see how much you loved Lance." 

He couldn't deny that one. "You're... incredibly wise."

Rosa smiled thinly. "It comes with being a mother. And Keith?"

"Yeah?"

She stepped forward, ignoring how Keith moved back a little as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She didn't care that he was bloody, or that his breath hitched a little in the shock of being hugged, a rare thing for him. 

"You'll always be welcome in my family, no matter what."

Suddenly the man was thrust back into boyhood, eyes stinging and throat swelling up. Long ago, he had cried and screamed and begged to be loved by someone as family, as anything. Now he had it. He had had it for years now, since he had met Shiro, and had it again when he became a paladin.

Stiffly, awkwardly, but still meaningfully, Keith brought his arms up around Lance's mother.

Lance. Lance was right.

Rosa McClain gave the best hugs in the entire universe.

He had no doubts now why Lance had missed this, in those first days in space.

A few minutes later had them separating, and Keith retired to his room to clean up and rest, at the insistence of Rosa. Allura and Rosa could debrief to the team. And Pidge, oh god Pidge. 

First the Green Lion, now Matt. 

No, he promised Rosa he would take his mind off of everything tonight.

He washed the blood off his armor, took a nice, long, hot shower, and collapsed into his bed.

But despite the brief comfort given to him earlier, Keith was still unsettled.

It didn't help the nightmares that continued to plague him either.