Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Adora began to scream in pain.

She didn’t know exactly what Shadow Weaver was doing to her brain, but either way, she was in pain, as if she had been hit by a speeding car. 

She felt as though everything within her was exploding; as if she was now nothing more than pain, than suffering, but more than that, than rage, wrath, fury.

She hated Shadow Weaver, even more than before, she hated her even more than she hated the whole Horde, even more than she hated Hordak. Her wrath was the only thing that gave her the strength to at least try to resist the control that the sorceress was attempting to exercise on her mind, for she refused, yes, she refused with all her strength that The Horde would not take control of her again.//

Not now, not today, not after all she had done for the Princess Alliance and the rebellion, she couldn’t let it end like this . 

She wouldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t let her old guardian manipulate her like this, use her like this. No, not again, this story could not repeat itself all over again. She could do this, she could resist, she was a member of the resistance, she was She-Ra, she was worth more than this !

(But could she, really, while she was hardly clinging to consciousness, while she no longer had her sword, and while Glimmer was still incapable of using her powers?)

And yet, as Shadow Weaver continued to use her powers on her mind, doubt began, little by little, to torment her.

And if, and if, and if…

And if she wasn’t truly strong enough to do this?

Suddenly, despite her unconsciousness, a certainty hit her, a truth as sour and as acidic as vinegar. 

She was failing.

Soon, she would no longer be herself. Soon, she would be something else. No longer would she be Adora, resident of Bright Moon, nor She-ra, the heroine who fought against the Horde, the friend of princesses, of Glimmer, of Bow, the one who was still searching for her place. She would just be… Adora, a soldier at the service of the Horde. That which she had sworn to never become again.

And, as her enemy finished the process, Adora began again to scream in despair, and her scream made itself heard throughout the whole Fright Zone, as her memories of the last few months evaporated into the air.

§§§§

At Bright Moon, spirits were low.

Sure, Glimmer had been retrieved safe and sound (although, they still had no idea what effects the Black Garnet could have on her in the long term,) and all the princesses of the other kingdoms were there, but Adora…

Oh god…

They had lost Adora.

They didn’t have the slightest idea if they would be able to recover her or not.

With clenched fists and much effort, Glimmer contained her tears, doing her best to ignore her exhaustion.

Adora was her friend, her best friend along with Bow, there was no way that she was going to let the Horde get their hands on her!

Who cared if she was hurt?! She had to get her back.

Her body, likely for the sole reason of contradicting her, decided at exactly that moment to stand her up. She nearly collapsed in exhaustion onto the floor, though at the last moment she caught hold of the table in front of her, and was able to sit down on the chair behind her. 

Angella’s worried gaze never ceased following her, but Glimmer decided to ignore it.

She was here, and she was fine. (Though, she was deliberately ignoring the continued dysfunction of her magic, despite the fact she had recharged. Nothing had changed. She was still glitching, though she wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. Adora was in danger, she needed help, and, there’s no time for this! ) This was serious, critical, catastrophic, even. No longer was she the child that her mother could send away whenever she so pleased.

Bow shot her a nervous look, but she indicated that she was fine (this was utterly untrue, but she wasn’t about to give her mother an opportunity to send her back to her room – even though it would be for her own good, she needed to stay, to do something to feel useful) and turned towards the rest of the group that gathered around.

Adora had come for her. She had to find her, she had to save her . 

She would’ve done the same for her, there was no way she would let her fall.

No princess left behind.

She swore to it.

§§§§

Catra had no idea what she thought about this whole situation. 

What Shadow Weaver had done to Adora, it wasn’t… well, it wasn’t good .

Of course, Catra wasn’t exactly known for having irreproachable morals (they were far from that, really), but even she knew that today, the other Horde member had crossed a line that should not have been broken. They had erased Adora’s memory.

She had entered her mind and altered it as she pleased, at her own whims, to make her correspond to the image that she had of her; the image of the young Horiden who had not yet discovered all of Hordak and Shadow Weaver’s lies, who had not yet found the sword and become She-Ra. She had taken from Adora all that made her who she was. 

She had denied her her memories of her stay at Bright Moon-- of everything she had lived through in these past months. She had erased her link with the other princesses, her friendship with Glimmer and Bow. Though Catra certainly didn’t like either of them, she knew that they were important to the warrior.

So, yes, as soon as she had learned what Shadow Weaver had done to her friend (yes, friend, she had always wished that Adora would be more than that. She had always wished for more than she could have, she had always wanted more than Adora could give her), she hadn’t exactly known how to react.

That which Shadow Weaver had done was unspeakable. She had forcibly modified Adora’s mind in order to force her to return to them. All Catra had ever wanted was for Adora to return to the Horde, for her to return to the Fright Zone, for her to come home , but not like this. Not when it wasn’t what Adora truly wanted. Not when Shadow Weaver had violently altered her very personality to make it happen. 

For a few horrible moments, she wondered how she would have reacted if Adora had done the same to her; if she had used her magic to force her to come to Bright Moon with her, to join the rebellion if she had gone so far as to manipulate her memory to make Catra think that that was what she truly wanted. 

She couldn’t help but shiver at the prospect.

She would hate her for that, truly hate her, if she had learned that her friend (enemy now, certainly, but that changed nothing, she and Adora had been through too much together for it all to mean nothing, or, at least, she hoped that that was true) had suddenly decided to mess with her mind, with no right to do so.

Even though she knew herself to be nearly incapable of truly despising Adora, even if the young woman had done what she had with good intentions, for her own good , she would have hated her, so much, truly detested her. 

She didn’t dare to imagine what Adora would think of her if she ever retrieved her memories and realized that Catra, her friend , had let this happen, but…

There was nothing she could do, nothing she could change. Shadow Weaver was the sorceress, the magician, not her, and, regardless, Adora’s memory had already been erased. She knew the other woman’s power all too well. This wasn’t a simple spell. The memory of the woman who was no longer She Ra wasn’t going to return with a snap of her fingers.

With some good luck (or bad luck, depending on who was being asked), it would likely never return. 

So…

Catra was completely lost. 

Princess Glimmer had escaped, but they had taken Adora in her place, and more importantly, they had She-Ra’s sword in their possession, making it so that the warrior would be no help at all to the resistance, especially with her memory erased. 

Adora was no longer She-ra, she was only Adora, though that did not mean that she had returned to being herself. Far from that.

(And she would never again be She-ra-- Shadow Weaver had made sure of that by hiding the sword away. Of course, Catra could surely find it if she tried, and she had been ordered to do so if it meant stopping Adora from viewing the sword. If she were to ever see it again, it would risk reviving certain memories, bringing back She-Ra, and even bringing back her mind. A part of Catra, though it was certainly the most egotistical and cowardly part of her, truly hoped that these measures would be sufficient to break the warrior’s connection with her sword.)

(So that everything would be like before.)

Even though it was the opposite…

Despite everything, even if she had forgotten an important part of her life, she was still the same Adora. The same Adora as before. The same strong, brave, amazing Adora. She was still her friend, even if a part of her had been violently torn away…

Right?

Chewing on her lips and unsure of how to posture herself, she decided, at long last, to enter Adora’s room. 

She had made her choice.

She would tell her nothing.

It wasn’t as if she could change what Shadow Weaver had done.

That didn’t stop a ball of guilt from forming in her stomach.

Adora wouldn’t have wanted her to act like this.

Sure, Adora didn’t know that, she didn’t remember anything, anything at all. Thus, she couldn’t hate her. To her, it was as if these last few months had never happened at all.

More importantly, she was finally back.

Strangely, that didn't give her as much relief as it should have.

§§§§

Adora struggled to open her eyes, before closing them again, her face twisted with pain. She had a terrible headache as if she had taken a horrible fall after having been thrown from Swift Wind…

Wait.

Who was Swift Wind?

She furrowed her brow, blinked her eyes a few times, and…

Sparks, made of light, so much light, glimmered all around her, as did laughter, sparkles of joyous laughter, and voices, too, which she did not quite remember. She, too, laughed and smiled with them.

She was happy.

The vision disappeared just as quickly as it had come on, and she felt nothing as Shadow Weaver’s control strengthened over her mind, piece by piece.

She, too, did not feel as her old memories clashed against those created by Shadow Weaver. She didn’t realize what was happening to her.

Only the pain remained.

Then the door opened, and Catra appeared.

If Adora had been in her normal state, and not in the process of slowly recovering from the damage inflicted upon her tattered mind by Shadow Weaver, she would have quickly realized that something was wrong with Catra. She would have realized as soon as she’d seen her guilt-charged gaze-- clearly that of someone with something to hide.

Not to mention, when she saw Catra moving towards her, she did little more than a smile, and Catra, despite her persistent guilt, allowed herself to smile back at her.

“Hi, Adora.”

“Hey.” The warrior replied with a glimmer of joy in her eyes, as if she was happy to see her.

Even worse, it was true, though it wasn’t really. It was real, but it was anything but. Adora was being sincere, but she didn’t know that she shouldn’t have been, and…

This whole thing was starting to give her a headache.

Even though she knew well that she had no right to do so, even though, while she wasn’t as responsible as Shadow Weaver in all this, by accepting to cover up what she had done, she had become her accomplice , she moved towards Adora to embrace her.

It had been so long since she had been so close to her, outside of combat, of course, that it nearly made her sick . 

That took her by surprise, as she had hardly grown used to this kind of show of affection in the Horde (she ignored the annoying little voice in her mind that spoke of another place where such a thing was common, it wasn’t as if her mind recalled it anyways), especially when it came to Catra, but she did little more than accept the embrace without speaking.

(It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, on the contrary.

She didn’t understand the feeling that had begun to set in in her, the sensation that Catra had missed so much, even though she had only seen it a few times before…

Before wha t, exactly?

What exactly had happened?

She didn’t remember…

Why didn’t she remember?

Why couldn’t she remember?)

“I was scared for you.” Catra admitted, deciding to be honest for once, fully aware that it was likely the last time she would be able to be so.

I thought I had lost you, she thought, though she didn’t dare speak it.

In a way, it was true, she had lost her. She had lost Adora, her Adora, the real Adora; the one that fought for the resistance that she so believed in, and for good, and for justice. The one that had helped reform the Princess Alliance, who had become a heroine, who had released herself from the chains Hordak had tried to place upon her, who had fled, who had chosen a different home, who had done what Catra could have never done. Even now, she was losing her. She was lying to her.

But now, after what Shadow Weaver had done to her, you don’t have to risk losing her. Isn’t that what you wanted? A voice sneered at her.

Shut up! She wanted to scream.

“I…” Adora spoke, realizing that something must have happened to cause Catra to act like this. “Don’t worry,” She reassured her, “I’m okay, now, it’s all over now. What… what happened?”

Immediately, Catra stood up straight, finally releasing herself from Adora’s embrace. She decided, for the first time that day, to truly lie to her.

“The princesses launched a surprise attack on the Fright Zone yesterday afternoon.” She lied, her voice dripping with self-confidence. “They used their powers on you, and you… you hit your head, bad. You’ve been out for hours. Shadow Weaver said-” Catra felt that her mouth was filled with ashes. “She said that you might be a bit confused for the next few days.”

Catra saw as something strange happened, as a light of rage and hatred appeared in Adora’s eyes. This time, though, it wasn’t rage against the Horde, but, instead, against the princesses. The simple thought made bile rise in her throat.

She thought of the other princesses, of Glimmer, of Bow, of the horse/winged unicorn (whatever it was), Adora’s friends , and wondered how they would feel if they had seen the burning rage in the eyes of she who was once She-Ra. 

Then, she realized that she absolutely did not want to think about it.

“Oh, those princesses .” Adora replied bitterly, her hands clenched into fists. “They just don’t stop! If they ever attack us again, we’ll crush them!”

We .

As she heard that simple, tiny word, that word that signified so much, Catra felt her heart fill with joy and tear itself apart, all at once.

Would she ever be rid of these contradictory feelings that she felt every time she laid her eyes upon Adora?

She already knew the answer.

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure.” She spoke as she forced a smile onto her face, feeling ashes fill her mouth once again.

She had the feeling that that taste would stay there for a while…

To be continued.

Chapter Text

Several days later, the princesses returned to the Fright Zone.

It had taken them some time to return, in order to organize, plan, and, also, due to the fact that the number of guards had been doubled (unsurprisingly, seeing as they had She-ra herself as their new prisoner.) 

Glimmer had a hard time remembering the end of her captivity at the Fright Zone. She could barely remember how she had been saved, the only thing that she could really remember was that Adora had come to find her, and that she had been captured in her place.

That was why she was here today, for Adora , for her friend, no matter how much her mother had worried.

Adora. Was. Her. Friend!

She would never give up on her! Never!

When she finally saw Adora, free and not imprisoned nor restrained, with a weapon in her hand-- a weapon which she was currently pointing at her and the other princesses, as well as Bow-- she froze, eyes wide.

Catra was there, too, alongside the other Horde soldiers, but the young soldier didn’t pay any attention to them. Her gaze was instead fixed on her friend, who wore the colors of the Horde , and who stared at her as if she was a stranger.

She froze, completely paralyzed, and shared a quick glance with Bow.

It was Adora, but it wasn’t her .

Not anymore.

A shiver of ice-cold horror ran through her as she realized the breadth of this calamity, without truly realizing what had happened.

Though, she had some idea as to who was responsible.

What had Shadow Weaver done to her friend?

When Adora attempted to fire at her, Glimmer couldn’t say that she was surprised, or, at least, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Despite, she could still feel as her heart was shattered into a thousand pieces.

Because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Adora?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking, hoping that, maybe, she would realize that what she was doing was wrong, and bring an end to this nightmare.

Regardless, none of that happened. She did little more than furrow her brow and stare her down with same cold gaze that she had worn since Glimmer had entered her field of view.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?”

Even though it was no longer autumn, Glimmer felt a horrible chill take hold of her.

No, no, no…

This couldn’t be happening.

Adora couldn’t have forgotten them!

It was simply impossible. Not her, not Adora, not after all they had lived through together.

Glimmer felt her breath hitch.

“But… but Adora.” She tried, hoping once more that all of this wasn’t real, that it was simply a horrible nightmare, or a simple force, and that Adora would soon awake, laugh, and leave with them. Like everything should be. This was all just a mistake. “It’s me! It’s Glimmer, your friend!” She said, not noticing as Catra tensed, unsure of what she should do.

Oh, she should have known that this would happen. She should have known that the princess wouldn’t just let Adora go, not without a fight . In her heart, two desires fought-- for Adora to remember, and for her not to. She had no idea which option would be better.

(If she was being truly honest with herself, she knew that she would have preferred the second option…)

However, if Adora’s expression changed at all, it was only for rage to finally replace surprise.

“Oh… in that case, Princess Glimmer. I see.” Her expression darkened. “What are you doing here? Here to attack us again?”

Glimmer took a step back, as if she had been struck, and, suddenly, she knew .

Adora didn’t remember them, not anymore.

Their plan would be useless if she wouldn’t come with them willingly.

Rapidly, anger replaced her sadness, and she turned to Catra.

“Catra.. What did you do to her ?”

“I didn’t do anything .” She retorted, and it wasn’t even a lie.

“So, it was Shadow Weaver.” She replied with no hesitation. “She did this, then. How could you let her do that? I know we’re enemies, I know you’re in the Horde, but we’re talking about Adora, here!”

Catra wasn't expecting the wave of guilt that gripped her upon hearing her enemy's words.

And Adora… Adora didn’t understand anything that was going on.

That didn’t matter. The princesses were liars, monsters! ( Then… why did Glimmer’s devastated gaze, as well as that of the boy she didn’t quite recognize, those of the other princesses, and that of the horse/unicorn make her feel so sick? ) The Horde was her home, her family.

( Lies, lies, lies! Shouted an inaudible voice in her head, though it didn’t stop her from grimacing in pain as her headache resurfaced.

“Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to fight?” She exclaimed in an attempt to dismiss this feeling of unease.

Glimmer shot Catra a look, though she understood that she hadn’t said anything to the young warrior. Then, with a sigh of discouragement, she glanced one last glance in Adora’s direction. In that look, Catra saw something that she had never seen before.

A glimmer of defeat .

She should have felt satisfied, but she didn’t.

“No.” Glimmer replied, with fists clenched, eyes burning, and held-back tears. “We’re leaving.” She spoke as she looked quickly to Bow, Swift Wind, and the other princesses, who nodded in agreement, though they, too, were clearly vexed. Glimmer shot Catra a sharp look, as if she was just daring her to try to stop them.

And, with that, they turned and left, leaving Adora with no idea how to react.

“Hey, come back here, you cowards!”

Surprising even herself, Catra held out an arm in front of Adora, turning to her.

“Let them go, Adora.”

Adora looked to her with an expression of confusion, and Catra sighed.

She felt that after what the others had just gone through, she owed them that much, at least for today…

She would fight them, surely, but not now.

“They didn’t come to fight. I think we can… let them go, at least for today.”

Adora furrowed her brow, but nodded.

That warmed Catra’s heart, noting that, at least, Shadow Weaver hadn’t destroyed that part of Adora.

It was better than nothing.

§§§§

Glimmer returned to Bright Moon feeling that she had turned to ice.

Adora, the way that she had looked at them…

She still couldn’t believe it.

“Bow… what do we do now?”

He seemed just as lost as she.

“I don’t know, Glimmer. I don’t know.”

Shadow Weaver had, most likely, erased Adora’s memory. The Horde had taken her friend, they had She-Ra’s sword, and Glimmer had no idea what to do .

Maybe there really wasn’t anything to be done. After all, their friend had made her choice, though the choice was in no way her own. What kind of friend would she be if she just abandoned Adora to this dreary spell?

No, she couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t be right .

But, what could she really do?

Clenching her fists at her own powerlessness, Glimmer finally allowed herself to cry.

Adora…

I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry.

§§§§

When Catra saw Adora leave Shadow Weaver’s chamber, she felt a sense of foreboding grip her.

What had Shadow Weaver said to Adora. Had she blamed her for letting the princesses leave?

The truth was just the opposite, but was surely more terrifying.

“Hey Adora, what are you doing here? Did you give your report to Shadow Weaver?”

“Yeah… Well, she mostly just wanted to see me about my memory problems, and my headache.” 

Catra tensed, hoping that she had heard wrong.

“You’re saying that… that Shadow Weaver called you to talk about your problems?” She spoke, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Actually, she really just wanted to help get rid of these headaches. She put me in some kind of trance. I don’t know what she did, but I felt a bit better, afterwards. You know her, Shadow Weaver and her magic. You and me know nothing about it, yeah?” She laughed, not having noticed that Catra had gone pale as a ghost. 

Oh…

“And… how long have you been seeing Shadow Weaver for… help?” She asked, doing her best to not grimace as she spoke those lying words.

“Ever since I woke up, why?”

Catra felt the bitter taste of bile invade her mouth, feeling as if she might vomit when she finally understood what she had already known, though she hadn't’ wanted to admit it.

So, one time hadn’t been enough. Shadow Weaver had done it again, she had tampered with Adora’s mind, again , and Catra couldn’t even bring herself to feel surprised .

After all, it was Shadow Weaver, what had she really been expecting?

Would it continue like this forever, Catra wondered nervously. Would the sorcerer indefinitely force Adora to forget her time at Bright Moon every time she had nearly remembered, all to keep her in a cage for the rest of her life?

At the very least, it was starting off that way, and Catra’s whole being tensed at the very idea.

Adora didn’t deserve this. She deserved something other than what the Horde had to offer her. She deserved better .

“Oh.” She responded, finally. “It’s nothing, just… I was worried.”

“You were worried about me?” Adora seemed half surprised, half amused, and half moved. In any other circumstance, Catra would have denied it, without the slightest hesitation, but she couldn’t, eaten at by guilt as she was. She wanted to be honest about this, as she couldn’t be so about anything else.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, we don’t know if the princesses’ attack has any side effects or anything. So, yes, I am worried about you. You’re my friend.”

Adora froze, surprised by this sudden show of affection, and smiled.

“Thank you, Catra.”

Don’t thank me, Adora.

Don’t thank me.

She should have told her that, she really should have told her that, to have admitted everything to her.

But, since Catra was an egoistic coward, she bit her tongue until it bled to force herself to be quiet. She looked her friend right in the eyes and forced herself to smile.

It was only when Adora left her alone that she was finally able to throw up.

§§§§

Of course, Scorpia didn’t approve.

(This didn’t surprise Catra, she herself didn’t approve. As she had expected, the taste of ashes and acrid bile hadn’t left her mouth since she had learned that Shadow Weaver had once again begun to place her claws inside Adora’s skull. Even though it was a simple thought, it didn’t make her want to vomit any less.)

Out of all of them, Scorpia was, in attitude and personality, the least “Hordien,” leaving Catra all but astonished when she felt her disapproving gaze upon her. 

As if she didn’t already have her own consciousness tormenting her…

But Scorpio, being Scorpia, said nothing directly to her. She only did so when Catra, who couldn’t stand that look anymore, finally exploded in anger.

“Do you have something to tell me, Scorpio?” She spoke with her usual vehemence.

The princess lowered her gaze, before raising her head and directly meeting Catra’s gaze.

“What Shadow Weaver did to Adora… I don’t think it’s right.”

Weary as she was, Catra couldn’t stop herself from sighing.

“What, you think I do?”

“Adora’s your friend, she trusts you, and you… you’re lying to her face.”

“We’re all lying.” She retorted. “You included. Shadow Weaver ordered me to tell her nothing, so I won’t tell her anything . It doesn’t mean I’m happy about all this.”

Scorpio was right, however, and that was what broke her heart the most.

Catra clenched her fists, full of rage and fury.

She had never hated the Horde so much, not in her whole life.

§§§§

Adora felt that, even though everything seemed to have gone back to normal, something had changed, though she wasn’t exactly sure what. Though, between Shadow Weaver’s constant surveillance over her, their “sessions,” which Adora always left more confused than anything, and Catra’s weird behavior, everything at the Fright Zone had been truly bizarre since her accident. 

And it wasn’t only that...

The princesses had acted oddly, too, seeming to have categorically refused to fight her. She just couldn’t understand why .

She couldn’t understand where the sadness in their eyes came from when she looked at them, nor that in Bow’s eyes (was that his name), or that in... Swift Wind’s?

She didn’t know why her heart twisted in those moments, either.

She wasn’t sure that she wanted to know.

§§§§

“You shouldn’t be here, Glimmer.” Bow said to his friend, who had just sent another Horde robot to the ground as she shrugged

“I may not have magic anymore Bow.” She retorted, grimacing, remembering yet another time that she couldn’t teleport. “But I can fight. I can be useful.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, it’s just…”

“Bow, I’m fine .” She snapped before throwing herself back into battle, despite her glitches, despite her heart, which broke every time she had to confront Adora, despite the fact that she was growing weaker and weaker. Bow sighed.

“No, Glimmer.” He murmured. “You’re not fine.”

Scorpia wasn’t exactly used to confronting the princesses directly, but she had to admit that Perfuma was rather formidable in combat.

§§§§

“Are you planning to return Adora to us someday?” The plant princess asked with a certain rage that Scorpio could hardly understand. “When are you going to let her go?”

The princess would have answered that Adora could simply leave the Horde if she so wished, but given recent events, that would have been a lie.

“I’m really sorry about what happened, but Adora… what Shadow Weaver did to her, we can’t erase it.”

“Well, surely it’s possible!” Perfuma insisted, a glint of hope in her gaze. “You can tell her the truth, you’re nice, and clearly less evil than the rest of the Horde. You can do something if you don’t like seeing Adora like this, you know.”

Scorpio tensed at those words.

Except, she couldn’t. She served the Horde, she had to stay loyal to them, even when she didn’t agree with their methods…

“I’ll think about it.” She replied.

The hopeful smile that she flashed Perfuma glimmered as bright as a star.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

Glimmer didn’t know exactly what had brought her to face Catra in battle. All that she knew was that, once she saw her, she had felt her blood boil, and she wanted one thing, and one thing only: to destroy her.

Seeing as she couldn’t face Shadow Weaver directly, she may as well confront the other person who she judged as being responsible for Adora’s fate.

Sure, Catra was a member of the Horde, but more than that, she was Adora’s friend. She was supposed to care about her , but she had done nothing . The princess remembered clearly how Adora had spoken of her with such warmth and tenderness in her voice. Catra had to have thought that, certainly, her enemy didn’t deserve this.

“Catra…” She spoke in a voice colder than the ice that Frosta could summon.

“Sparkles.” She retorted, not missing the way that Glimmer reacted to the nickname.

“I see that you still haven’t told Adora anything.”

“How could I tell her about something she doesn’t remember?” She spoke ironically. Glimmer clenched her fists.

“Let me be clear here, Catra. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me, either. But, we can agree on one thing: that Adora is our friend. Well, before this, she was…”

“She still is!” The young Horde soldier balked. “I didn’t know what Shadow Weaver was going to do to her. I couldn’t have stopped her.”

“Even if that’s true, you still haven’t done anything to stop her after the fact, have you?”

“And why would I do that? Adora is back in the Horde, and everything is just like before!”

Glimmer looked to her incredulously, and Catra wondered if her lie had been convincing enough.

“You can’t be serious…. This version of Adora, it’s not her. You know that. You can’t seriously be happy to have Adora back when you know full well that it’s not what she wants!”

“If it’s the only way to keep her by me, then that’s just fine!” Catra finally let her tongue slip.

The princess of Bright Moon stared at her, eyes filled with horror.

“That’s… cruel, incredibly cruel, Catra, even coming from you. That’s just plain selfish! Do you really want to make Adora suffer against her will?”

Maybe that just means that she loves me enough that she’s ready to do anything for me to stay with her.

Except that wouldn’t be love, and she knew that perfectly well.

She sighed.

“No, of course not, but… I lost Adora, and now I’ve found her again. I can’t lose her again. I love her.” She confessed, unable to stop herself. The expression on Glimmer’s face softened.

“If you really loved her, you would let her go. You would give her that choice.”

“What, because you would let Adora leave and rejoin the Horde if she asked?” Catra cried with an uncontainable rage. 

Glimmer froze, uncertain of how to reply.

After all, the Horde were the bad guys, and not only was Adora her friend, she was She-Ra , she was important for the rebellion, but…

She deserved to have that choice.

“If that was really what she wanted… yes.”

Catra’s face fell.

“Catra… help her remember, I beg of you .”

If I do that, I’ll lose her .

“In your dreams, Sparkles.” She hissed, before striking at her for the first time since they had begun to speak.

She didn’t miss the betrayed expression that Queen Angela’s daughter bore, and she pretended that it did nothing to her.

§ § § §

Balls weren’t exactly the kind of event that Scorpia was used to attending, but ever since Princess Prom, despite her belonging to the Horde, she had been receiving more and more invitations to various festivities. Finally, she had accepted to attend one, if only to take her mind off of things.

This time, Catra hadn’t accompanied her. Scorpia preferred to leave her alone. Considering recent happenings, she wasn’t exactly in the mood to attend a ball. If she had been, she would have preferred to go with Adora, the princess thought to herself. So, she hadn’t asked.

In a way, she would have preferred to have the other member of the Horde with her. She would have been far more at ease, if she hadn’t been here all alone, in a crowd where she knew no one.

She was of the Horde, sure, but she was here in her capacity as a Princess, and not as a Hordien. She had no hostile intention, and, if she was lucky, everything would go well.

When she bumped into Princess Perfuma, she thought that, perhaps, she would not have such luck.

The night had started off well. She had drank a hot chocolate, she had eaten a few cherries, she had managed to unwind a bit, and, then, the Princess of Flowers had arrived, alone.

At once, Scorpia froze, uncertain of how to act, but soon realized that none of the other Princesses were present. Perfuma must’ve also been invited.

“I’m not here to fight, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said to Perfuma, unable to stop herself, despite everything. Given what had happened at the last Princess Prom, she would have every reason in the world to believe the contrary.

Perfuma smiled at her with a gentleness that disconcerted her.

“That’s not what I count on doing, either, don’t worry. I’m… glad to see you again, Scorpia.”

“Really? But… we’re enemies.”

Perfuma shrugged.

“I guess, but… I don’t know. I have this feeling that you’re different from the rest of the Horde. I can’t quite say why. And… today is a special day. We’re not here as members of the rebellion or the Horde. We’re here as Princesses. I think that you, too, have a place in the Princess Alliance. And… I wanted to know… can I have this dance with you?”

Scorpia blinked, certainly not having expected that, before accepting the offer several moments later. She wasn’t sure she was blushing, all of a sudden.

§ § § §

Perhaps it was the ball that had driven her to make the decision, or maybe it was the conversation that she had had with Perfuma, or maybe it was something before all of that. But, in the end, Scorpia had made the decision to quit the Horde.

When she announced as such to Catra, she couldn’t even say that she had been surprised .

It was sad, yes, as Scorpia had been her friend, and too as she had been the only one in the Horde to know of the truth regarding that that had happened to Adora and as she had been the only one willing to listen when she spoke of the guilt that was eating away at her, and as she needed someone to confide in. 

That didn’t mean that Scorpia agreed with her continuous refusal to act, but at least she hadn’t been alone in the situation. 

Now, she would simply have to swallow her guilt, hold her tongue, and try to live with this, all while looking Adora in the eyes each and every day, knowing that she was lost, and would never again be found.

Could she really manage that?

She still didn’t know the answer to that.

When Scorpia had embraced her in her arms, she hadn't so much as tried to get away.

Scorpia was right to leave. She deserved more than the Horde.

§ § § §

Three months.

It had been three months since Adora had lost her memory and returned to them, and, for the most part, things hadn’t changed.

She-Ra’s disappearance had destabilized the Princess Alliance, but they had been able to pull themselves together, and, ever since, the fight between the two camps had continued with an even greater intensity.

And Adora still remembered none of it.

As for Catra… she still didn’t know what to think.

Her guilt remained, tearing at her heart every time she saw her friend, and Shadow Weaver seemed to have noticed.

“It seems you still have some reservations, Catra.” She said to her with suspicion. 

“Me? No, not at all. This is just a misunderstanding, Shadow Weaver, I promise.”

She looked at her with an apprehensive expression.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? For your dear Adora to return to you?”

She froze.

Shadow Weaver knew.

Of course she knew.

She had known all along. No doubt that she had known even before Catra had realized the full extent of her feelings for Adora.

The Horde soldier clenched her fists.

“Of course, it’s what I wanted…”

But not like this.

I never wanted things to happen like this .

§§§§

Adora didn’t understand why Catra had been avoiding her recently. Looking back, it had become more and more frequent, ever since she had had her accident during the Princesses’ attack. It was painful to see her push her away when she needed her the most.

Though she had been predominantly confused about what was going on at any given time, due to her ever-more-frequent memory problems, she always had something to hold onto: that she needed Catra, and that she loved her, too.

And, as much as Catra had been looking rather odd lately (or maybe just because her demeanor was noticeably out of the ordinary), she had a feeling that maybe it wasn’t so certain.

So, she had tried to kiss Catra.

§ § § §

Adora had tried to kiss her…

It would have been simple, so simple, to just let her do it; to accept the warrior’s offer, to let her love her, to keep lying to her, to let her believe that everything was normal. That they could be together for good, even though Catra had done nothing but lie to her for the past few months. Maybe Catra was selfish, but not that much .

So, she had stopped Adora from kissing her.

“No, I… Adora, I’m sorry, but… I can’t. I just can’t.”

Adora had looked at her with sorrow, but, more than that, with confusion. Catra just couldn’t tell her the truth.

So, she had done what she did best.

She had fled and hidden in her room.

She was almost glad that Scorpia had left, at least, she wouldn’t have to see her cry.

§§§§

Again, Glimmer clenched her fists in anger.

Ever since her escape from the Fright Zone and Adora’s return to the enemy camp, she hadn’t been able to teleport once .

It wasn’t due to lack of trying, either. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything anymore, truthfully, and it had been weeks since she had been on the battlefield.

Now that she no longer had her powers, she couldn’t fight against the Horde. When she tried to confront them, she only grew weaker. Her continued attempts to use her magic hardly helped, as she clearly could not rely on that any longer.

She just couldn’t help it. She had to do something. She had to try to be useful, even as Angella, Bow, and the others insisted that she take it easy.

Adora was with the Horde. She was in danger, and she needed her, even if she didn’t know it. If only she could teleport to the Fright Zone and speak to her friend, just for a few moments. Then, maybe, she could convince her to return, or help her just start to remember.

But she couldn’t. The Black Garnet had corrupted her magic, rendering it unusable. God, she just felt useless to the point that it hurt .

In the end, she had no clue when she had passed her own body’s limits in her attempts to use her abilities. She didn’t realize until it was too late.

She collapsed without so much as noticing what had happened, before she lost consciousness, exhausted, unable to even hear Bow’s scream as he realized what had just occurred.

“Glimmer! Glimmer! GLIMMER!”

But she did not awake…

To be continued…

Chapter Text

Bow knew full well what he had to do, no matter how much he hated the idea.

He had to go to the Fright Zone.

It was the only way to save Glimmer.

He couldn’t help but see the terrible irony in his relief when he stumbled upon Catra, and not upon Adora, when he stepped foot into the Horde’s headquarters in the middle of the night. Adora didn’t remember him, she didn’t know, not anymore, that they were friends. She would have attacked him if she had seen him, but Catra…

Catra knew the truth, and, sure, they were enemies too, but if Adora meant as much to her as she meant to Adora, then, maybe, just maybe, she would be willing to listen to him. Maybe even to help him.

She was his last chance, after all. He couldn’t force Adora to return to Bright Moon, and even if he could, she wasn’t She-ra, and he had no clue as to where the sword was. Her friend would have no reason to help him with that, either.

Oh good god, he was nearly on the verge of tears.

“And what is the archer doing here? You shouldn’t be here. If someone else saw you…”

“What, one of you would stop me?” He asked, voice dripping with venom. “You know, it would be a shame if Adora were to find out the truth about her escape from the Horde, all those months ago.”

“Mhm… What do you want? What are you doing here? As I said, you’re taking a huge risk by being here.”

“I have nothing to lose.” He spoke wearily, and she furrowed her brows.

What did he mean by that?

“Well, then?”

“I came to ask you to help Adora. To help her recover her memory, so that everything would finally be normal again…”

“And what would I gain from that, exactly?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” He spoke, tone rhetorical. “For Adora to not completely hate you when she does get her memory back? When she finds out that you did nothing to help, that you just kept lying to her…”

“And if she never remembers?” She mocked. “In that case, I wouldn’t lose anything.”

It was so much easier to lie to Bow than it was to lie to herself…

He shot her a look.

“Glimmer fell into a coma.” he admitted at last, and Catra froze in surprise. “Apparently,” He continued, “The Black Garnet had a greater effect on her than we had thought."

“And what do you want me to do about it?” She forced herself to say.

“You? Nothing. I’m not stupid. But Adora… Adora cares about her. Even if she doesn’t remember it. And if you really care about Adora, you wouldn’t be standing here doing nothing!”

“I… I’m sure everything will be alright in the end. We don’t need to do anything.” She replied, hesitant as to what exactly she should do.

“Catra… she’s not waking up . It’s been five days, and nothing has happened. Castaspella hasn’t been able to get her to wake up, neither has Angella. No one can do anything. We need She-ra, she’s the only one that can help. I… I can’t lose her.” He admitted suddenly.

Catra felt a chill run up her spine as she realized that he had begun to cry.

She had never seen Bow cry.

She hardly ever saw Bow, she hardly knew him, but seeing him cry, in front of her, his enemy , made her realize just how disheartened he was.

And Adora…

Adora would be furious if she knew that Catra had watched her friend cry without doing anything to help.

“I don’t know what you’re doing anymore, Catra, but… I’m begging you. Help us.”

She was grateful that he decided to leave after that, without waiting for her reply. She already knew it. She wouldn’t have been able to reply with anything else.

§§§§

She was so cold.

Catra knew that it had nothing to with the cold temperature outside of the Fright Zone, however, as it had been several minutes since she had come back inside.

It was Bow’s words that had left her frozen. The despair in his eyes, and his tears and how he had cried, and her broken voice, and…

Adora had screamed in the same way when Shadow Weaver had modified her memory for the first time.

Since then, she hadn’t screamed, but that didn’t mean that she was doing any better today. On the contrary, as she was no longer the true Adora.

And if she didn’t do anything about that, she would never be her again…

She looked at the sword in front of her, having stolen it from Shadow Weaver. She hoped that she hadn’t noticed, as she wasn’t sure she felt like losing her place in the Horde over this…

“I hate you, you know that?” She spoke, well aware that the sword wasn’t about to reply.

The sword had taken Adora from her. Though, if she was being completely honest with herself, the sword had done nothing but awake Adora to her true, heroic nature. It had made her realize what her true destiny was, and that she did not belong in the Horde.

This sword was a weapon, a magical weapon, belonging to Adora, just as Adora belonged to it. In a way, she had always been She-Ra. She-Ra had always been there, and always would be there, within her, hidden deep in her mind, in the very back of her skull. She hadn’t disappeared. If she brought the sword back to her, she would surely be able to transform once more, and at last recover her memory.

And that was what she wanted, right?

Yes and no, but it was surely what Adora would have wanted, if she had had the choice.

It was that thought that finally made her make her choice.

She only hoped that neither Shadow Weaver or her own cowardice would stop her on her way.

§ § § §

She hadn’t slept.

The certain fact that she would soon lose Adora again (as, certainly, the heroine of Etheria would surely flee as far as possible from her once she knew what Catra had done, that she had been lying to her for months , and that she had forced her to stay with her, that she had done nothing to stop Shadow Weaver and her schemes) had stopped her from getting the slightest moment of shut eye.

And, now, she was here, with the sword next to her, concealed in a bag. She had already decided that she would have to get Adora as far away from the Fright Zone as possible, if she was going to do this.

She wasn’t stupid. If Adora transformed here, everyone would know, immediately.

“Hey Adora!” She spoke. Adora shot her a hesitant smile that made her stomach churn.

Even since the incident with the failed kiss, they hadn’t spoken. This was the first time that Catra had come to see her.

“Hey Catra… what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to go hiking, out in the woods? We haven’t been out there in a long time, yeah?” She said, winking. For a moment, she thought that she was finally back to the time before She-Ra, before her relationship with Adora had become a complete disaster.

She didn’t miss Adora’s blush, but tried not to hope that it meant something. 

“Oh, uh, sure. Why not.” Catra let out a sigh of relief. 

Apparently, she was still quite the liar.

§ § § §

“We’ve been walking for an hour, at least, Catra. Could you tell me what exactly you’re planning?”

Catra froze, and closed her eyes.

It was time.

“Adora… I didn’t bring you here just for a simple promenade.”

The warrior looked to her with curiosity, surprising even herself as she found herself hoping that the other Horde soldier wished to speak to her one on one about what had happened the other day, so that she could finally understand why she had been avoiding her.

If Catra didn’t reciprocate her feelings, then that was fine. She could handle it. She just wanted to know , that was all.

However, she certainly hadn’t been expecting for Catra to do little more than open her bag and retrieve a sword from within-- a sword that seemed strangely familiar, even though she had never seen it in her life. She was certain of that.

Oh, really?

If that was true, why was everything in her screaming to get as far away from that wretched sword as she could?

(Of course, Shadow Weaver hadn’t been stupid enough to not implant a deep hatred within her of the one magical artifact that could make her herself again.)

“Catra…” She spoke, her voice trembling, a light of terror glimmering in her eyes that she had no idea how to explain. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to help you, for once.” Before Adora could question that, Catra sighed and declared: “Don’t ask, just hold this sword. Then, you’ll understand everything.”

No! Screamed a voice that resembled Shadow Weaver’s just a little too much.

“I… I don’t want to.” She replied, though she didn't know why. Catra couldn’t stop herself from groaning.

Shadow Weaver, of course it was her. Again .

“Adora, look at me. Do you trust me?”

Adora looked her right in the eyes, and, despite her fears, she knew that, yes, she trusted her .

“Yes.” She replied with such confidence that the Horde soldier felt her heart break, realizing that in a few minutes, that would no longer be the case.

That, however, didn’t stop her from handing the sword to Adora, who took it prudently.

And…

Nothing.

Nothing happened for several minutes.

That was, until Adora looked to the sword a second time, and, unable to stop herself, she raised the sword to the air and exclaimed:

“For the honor of Grayskull!”

And, as she transformed into She-Ra, each and every barrier that Shadow Weaver had placed upon her mind released their holds, all at once.

Catra looked at her, a soft smile appearing on her lips. Adora was so beautiful as She-Ra, just as she was when she was not transformed into the warrior.

Adora blinked, and…

She remembered everything.

Her gaze fell upon Catra, and she took a step back.

“Hey, Adora.” The Horde soldier murmured with a sorrowful smile.

§§§§

Shock. Astonishment. Surprise. And guilt, too. She had attacked her friends, she had attacked the princesses, the alliance, the rebellion, she had attacked Glimmer and Bow , damn it! And all because Shadow Weaver had played with her mind…

And then, pain. The pain of betrayal, that of Catra, who had told her nothing over the course of months , who had lied to her, who…

Who had just returned her sword to her.

Without her, she would still be ignorant of all that which she had lost. Her heart was torn between fury and hope.

So much made sense, now that she knew the truth....

“Adora… I know that you must be upset, furious, even, but we don’t have time to talk about this. Not now, anyways.”

“Really?” Adora cried, voice filled with rage. “What could be more important than the fact that I lost my memory for months! Than everything Shadow Weaver did to keep me in ignorance and lock me in a cage?”

“I spoke to Bow.” The Horde soldier retorted with all the seriousness in the world. “He told me that Glimmer is in a coma, due to the Black Garnet and everything she lived through at the Fright Zone. He thinks that you’re the only one who can awake her.”

Dazed, Adora nodded, and followed her in the direction of Bright Moon.

“Why did you bring me the sword?” She asked, despite everything that was happening.

“Because I thought that whatever Shadow Weaver was doing to you, that it wasn’t good. And… that it had to stop.”

“And why didn’t you do it earlier?” She said, a touch of reproach in her voice.

Catra looked at her with a vast sorrow.

“Because I’m a selfish coward, and I knew that I would lose you the very second that you got your memory back. I wanted to keep you at my side as long as I could. I did it because I’m not a good person.”

But, despite everything, she had brought her the sword, Adora thought. Maybe that meant that all that wasn’t completely true?

§§§§

Upon seeing the state in which Glimmer lay, Adora’s heart broke.

“Oh, Glimmer…”

When Bow came to see her, she embraced him at once, teary-eyed, just as he was, though she knew that she couldn’t make up for months of separation in mere moments.

Even though the archer was the only one who thanked Catra, at least the others’ gazes weren’t outright hostile.

She turned to her friend, who lay unconscious, and took a deep breath, before attempting to use She-Ra’s powers upon her, praying with all her strength that she would finally awake, but…

Nothing. It hadn’t worked.

Why, why did her magic have to be not good enough ?

Clenching her fists, she made her decision.

“I need to go to Light Hope.”

§§§§

Several days later .

With much effort, Glimmer opened her eyes.

She didn’t know why it was so difficult. She didn’t really remember what had happened last time that she had opened them, except for the immense fatigue that had dragged her to the floor like a ragdoll, and.... what was with this headache?

Then she knew, remembering everything that had happened before she had lost consciousness. The loss of her powers, Adora’s disappearance and amnesia, and, after all that, her progressive weakness, and then…

And then nothing.

Opening her eyes once more, she blinked a few times, blinded by the light. Damn it, why did Adora have to give off so much light when she was She-Ra…

Wait a second…

Adora was here?

Now wide awake, she jolted upright and, turning her head to the left, realized with a start that she was right.

It was Adora, her Adora. It wasn’t the fact that she was transformed at the moment that made her realize, it was the fact that her gaze looked at her with neither defiance nor coldness. Instead, she looked at her with such tenderness and friendship and i t was her, it was really her, and she remembered her, and, more importantly, she was back.

“Adora?” She cried, incredulous and terrified that this was merely a dream. The warrior smiled at her.

“Hey Glimmer… I missed you, so much.”

“You too.” She replied before throwing herself into her friend’s arms for a well deserved hug. Then, she hugged Bow, then her mother and aunt, as well as the other princesses. Her gaze fell upon Catra, and she offered the Horde soldier a small smile. “I guess you were right, in the end.” She teased, prompting a light smile from Catra upon hearing Adora snicker.

Catra watched the heartwarming reunions play out, feeling a slight pang in her heart. With her feelings overwhelming her, she left the room, not noticing Adora’s worried gaze. She didn’t know if she should seek her out immediately or not.

Glimmer soon cut short her hesitation.

“You should go talk to her…”

‘You- you’re sure that-”

“Adora… Everything is going to be fine, I’m fine, thanks to you . So, yeah. Go talk to her.”

Adora nodded, and followed Catra out.

§ § § §

Adora’s voice awakened the young Horde soldier from her thoughts.

“Catra? I think… I think we need to talk.”

She shivered.

Surely, she had always known that things would end up this way.

“Adora… I’m sorry.” She began. “I am so sorry for what I did to you. To you, to your friends. You… you were right, about the Horde. I should have known earlier, but I was too proud to realize that I was wrong. Sorry for not stopping Shadow Weaver before she took your memory. I didn’t know what she was going to do, and when I found out, it was already too late. I couldn’t do anything . And then…” It would have been so easy, so easy to pretend, to lie , to act as if everything was just fine, but at the same time… “Adora, you have no idea just how much I hate myself for being such a coward, and I am so, so sorry .”

She hadn’t realized, as she had been too preoccupied in avoiding Adora’s gaze, that the expression on her face had softened, and that, now, she was looking at her with a sort of tenderness.

“Thank you.”

Catra flinched.

“Wh… what? Thanks for what?”

“For your apology, and your sincerity, and for having brought me the sword. I know that it must’ve been hard for you…”

“I… I couldn’t keep lying to you. I wanted you to stay with me, but… But not like that. It wasn’t, well, it wasn’t right .”

“I’m glad that you made the right choice, then. So… what are you going to do, now?”

“Not return to the Horde, that’s for sure.” Catra sneered bitterly. “After what I did, Shadow Weaver will want nothing to do with me, and… I don’t want to go back.”

Adora felt her heart swell with hope.

Then, even with everything that had happened, maybe…

“You could… you could stay here, if you want.”

Catra looked at her, surprised.

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I’ll have to ask the others, but since you don’t really have anywhere to go, and you helped me save Glimmer, I’m sure you can. Only if that’s what you want, of course.”

Stay here, with Adora?

Of course it was what she wanted, it was all she had ever wanted.

“But… I hid the truth from you, and I lied to you for so long…”

“Yes, you did, and I’m still mad at you, but… in the end, you showed me the truth. Without you, I wouldn’t be here, and, more importantly, you didn’t take advantage of my amnesia. Isn’t that why you didn’t let me kiss you?”

The blush on Catra’s cheeks immediately gave her her answer, and Adora felt her heart race.

“Yeah. I… I wanted to, I really did, but… It wouldn’t have been right to… to accept it when you didn’t remember anything. It wouldn’t have been good .”

“I’ve always wanted to kiss you.” Adora admitted. Catra’s smile turned from embarrassed to impish.

“Then, what are you waiting for?”

This time it was the warrior’s turn to blush, which she did, before moving towards Catra and giving her a timid kiss, which quickly became more passionate.

“I love you, Adora.” Catra spoke, and Adora couldn’t stop a grin from appearing on her face.

“I love you too, Catra.” She replied, before kissing her once more.

Now, the future looked bright, she thought, her heart filled with nothing but hope.

FIN.