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yummy

Summary:

Ed takes his first trip to Lush Cosmetics, where Stede is working as an enthusiastic salesman. Featuring yummy lavender soap, an intimate hand rub, and LOTS of flirting!

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Ed despised going to the mall. Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say Ed despised the way he felt when he went to the mall. The colors, lights, beautiful clothing flamboyantly displayed in window after window were just a taunting funhouse of reminders of things that were too nice for him to have, to wear, to enjoy. 

 

Unfortunately, he had to make the offhand trip as the mall hosted the best cooking store in town, and Ed was in need of a cast iron pan for a broiled eel recipe he had stumbled upon on Pinterest. He was becoming more daring in his cooking escapades, and Pinterest had been providing him with a plethora of unique recipes he was eager to try (and definitely NOT outfit pictures for him to save to a private board titled “fashun.” Spelling was not his strong suit…)

 

Walking into the cooking store was always a breath of fresh air in the crowded, overstimulating yet tantalizing shopping center. That is, until Ed was roughly reminded of the effect he had on the twenty-something year old salesfolk. He had always been aware of how he was perceived by others - a tall, lumbering middle aged man, tanned and toned and covered in tattoos, leather, and mane of salt and pepper curls with an impressively long beard to match tended to intimidate the general public. When he first started shopping there, the stuttering and fumbling and nervously offering way too many discounts was entertaining, amusing even. These days it was starting to feel a bit boring. 

 

Ed pondered this as he walked back through capitalist hell to where he parked his motorcycle, near the food court, and all this thinking was making him crave something sweet. Maybe a boba? Taro milk tea sounded refreshing…

 

Before he could decide on what kind of sweet snack he would treat himself with, Ed’s nose was filled with the most wonderful scent he had ever smelled. A sugary, floral, aroma captured his attention and led him forward, a bit more forward, to the right, and into a storefront he didn’t recognize. Into what Ed could only recognize as Heaven. 

 


 

The fragrance had amplified into a sensory experience grander than any bakery or flower field Ed had ever encountered (admittedly, not many.) And his gaze was met with all colors of the rainbow, glittering beneath the warm fluorescent store lights. Shelves of vibrant, patterned squares and pretty pastel orbs that looked like they were dusted in powdered sugar, and tables lined with eye-catching potion bottles and tubs of creamy substances that looked an awful lot like cream cheese frosting. Yep, this was definitely Heaven. 

 

And if this was heaven, the figure before him must have been an angel. A tall, yet soft-looking man with golden curls shimmering under the warm lights, and kind eager eyes and even kinder smile when his gaze met Ed’s. Ed wasn’t sure if anyone had ever looked at him like that. 

 

Of course he was looking at him like that, though. He was a salesman in this paradise of a shop. This was his job. 

 

“Hi, there! My name is Stede, welcome to Lush! May I assist you in finding anything today?”

 

The melodic cadence of Stede’s voice matched perfectly to the setting. Hmm, Stede.. Sure enough, Ed looked down to the cursive letters on the nametag adorning the salesman’s apron. If he hadn’t heard the name first, Ed would have likely read it as “Steve.” He really was horrible at spelling.

 

Drinking in more Stede like nectar from the gods, Ed noticed the man looked to be about his age. Ed had never seen a middle-aged man like himself in such a whimsical environment, and not to mention looking like he fit right in. Stede’s outfit looked like it would be tagged “playful” on Pinterest, a flowy white blouse rolled up to his surprisingly toned looking forearms, light wash denim jeans decorated with gold lace and sequins, and a black choker. He looked absolutely divine. 

 

Ed realized he had probably spent way too much time silently staring at the salesman.

 

“Smells nice” he mumbled.

 

“Ah yes! Well everything is handmade from the finest ingredients, non-toxic and organic!”

 

“Hmm” Ed looked around. Stede was unlike the scrawny, terrified cooking employee he had interacted with earlier. He was confident and beaming, looking like he was actually thoroughly enjoying himself. 

 

“Can I interest you in a sample?”

 

There weren’t many things Ed enjoyed more in life than a free sample. 

 

“Hell yeah, mate!” Ed didn’t know if it was humanly possible for someone to smile as big as Stede was in response to the affirmative reply. The golden man danced over to a table to the left to grab a silver tray of small, white crumbly squares dotted with purple. 

 

“This one is a personal favorite of mine,” He announced proudly, holding the tray towards Ed. Ed looked wide-eyed as Stede gave him an encouraging nod to take one, continuing his speech “It’s lavender scented and- oh!”

 

Before he could finish his sentence, Ed had brought the tiny square to his mouth and chomped down.

 

“Ah- well, it’s actually not for eating..” Stede winced.

 

Ed looked up in confusion. “But,” He muttered, “It’s…yummy?”

 

“Yes, I must admit I too have been tempted,” Stede chuckled. “But this is actually for your hands.”

 

“My hands? I thought this was a candy shop!”

 

“Ha! It sure looks that way doesn’t it? These are all actually all-natural cosmetics” Stede flourished his arm across the shop, and Ed’s eyes widened.

 

“...Cosmetics?”

 

“Yes!” Stede beamed excitedly, “Products to luxuriate and care for your body and skin.”

 

Luxuriate. Of course, this was too good to be true. Ed was not meant for luxury. He tried to eat a piece of soap for Christ’s sake. He didn’t belong here. 

 

“Ah got it, thanks, mate” Ed turned to leave. Now he was definitely going to need that boba…

 

“Wait!” Stede exclaimed. Ed paused and turned back to the angelic salesman. 

 

“Would you perhaps.. like a demonstration?” He was still smiling. And something in that smile made Ed really want to say yes. 

 

“I don’t know, man,” the leather-clad man sighed, “Don’t want to waste this nice stuff on these old things.” Ed looked down at his calloused, ink covered hands. These were not hands meant for cosmetics. 

 

But Stede seemed to disagree. “Nonsense!” the man practically shouted, “Your hands are lovely!” Was he… blushing ? “Besides, everyone deserves a bit of pampering! I do think you might enjoy it”

 

Maybe it was the pink in his cheeks or sparkle in his eyes, but Ed found himself unable to refuse the man before him.

 

“Ahh, what the hell,” He grumbled, trying to sound begrudging. “I’m already here, why not?”

 

“Wonderful!” Stede clapped his hands with a grin. “Hold tight..?”

 

“Ed.”

 

“Hold tight, Ed! I will be right back!”

 


 

Stede really was right back. In lightning speed, the man had returned with a stainless steel tub half-filled with warm water and a crimson washcloth. Ed hadn’t expected him back so quickly, and tried to hide the evidence of the second nibble he had taken from the soap. He couldn’t help it, soap or not, it really was delicious. If Stede noticed, he pretended not to.

 

“Here we are,” Stede set the tub in between their bodies, and grabbed a piece of the forbidden candy.  “If you thought this was yummy before, wait until you see this,” Ed detected a knowing glint in the other man’s eyes. Crap, he totally saw him eat more soap. 

 

But any embarrassment of being caught in the act dissipated as Stede dropped the little soap square into the tub. The white speckled square melted into an explosion of color. Ed’s eyes widened as the water became painted in soft violet hues, like a sunrise reflected over the ocean. 

 

“Ok, you can stick your hands in now!” 

 

Ed hesitated, not wanting to destroy the watercolor masterpiece before their eyes. Alas, the faint steam and somehow even more delectable aroma rising from the surface, combined with and Stede’s glowing gaze were all so welcoming. He slowly lowered his fingers into the bowl. When his hands were completely submerged, Ed couldn’t help but close his eyes and release a deep sigh. It felt wonderful. But nothing compared to the feeling of Stede’s hands also entering the hand bath.

 

“Are you okay with me massaging them? It helps the product better absorb in the skin.”

 

Ed froze, yet somehow managed to force a nod. He couldn’t believe this beautiful man was about to touch him. And when they made contact, Ed was surprised the two were not electrocuted with the shock he felt when Stede’s fingers touched his skin. The electricity quickly transformed into a pleasure Ed had never known, the euphoria of an underwater hand massage from an attractive man in a cosmetics store.

 

Hours could have passed and Ed would have not noticed. He was too lost in bliss to realize how long Stede had been tenderly kneading his hands in silence. Perhaps Stede had noticed, as he cleared his throat to start up conversation.

 

“So…what brings you to the mall today, Ed?”

 

Ed pointed his head toward the shopping bag holding his cast iron, not trusting his mouth to produce coherent words. When Stede raised his eyebrows in curiosity, Ed forced himself to snap out of the trance and explain. 

 

“Had to pick up a pan from the cooking store. I’m trying a new recipe tonight.”

 

“Oh, you’re a chef!” Wow, could this man glow any brighter?

 

“Hardly. Just like to cook,” 

 

“I bet you are a wonderful cook. Would love to taste a dish made with hands like these” Stede gazed fondly at the mens’ intertwined fingers. Now it was Ed’s turn to blush. 

 

“Ha- thanks, mate”

 

“Do let me know if you open up a restaurant, will you?” Stede was probably just trying to be nice, but his expression looked genuine. Did Stede know he had a fantasy of opening a bar and grill? With an extensive dessert menu of course. 

 

“I think I could save you a seat,” He was beginning to think he would love to serve Stede at his restaurant. He wondered if one of his meals could make Stede’s face light up like a scented soap square. His culinary fantasy was interrupted by a gentle squeeze.

 

“Alright, I think we’re about done here. Don’t want your fingers to get wrinkled!” Stede raised their hands out of the bowl and pulled away to grab the red wash cloth he had brought over earlier. Ed had to fight from frowning at the loss of contact. Luckily, Stede quickly dried off his hands and then held them back out, towel in hand.

 

“May I?”

 

Ed nodded and watched his hands become enveloped in scarlet. Stede gently patted the fuzzy fabric from Ed’s fingertips to wrists, capturing any lingering droplets and soap bubbles. When he removed the towel, Ed almost gasped. 

 

His hands felt soft. Ed wasn’t sure if his hands had ever felt soft, even as a young boy. He had always been accustomed to hard work and calluses. But at that moment, he felt smooth as butter. There was a fine sprinkling of glitter from the soap glistening on his skin, and even his compass star tattoo looked as vibrant as when it was first inked into his flesh. Ed didn’t know hands could be beautiful. Especially his own.

 

“Look at that,” Stede breathed, slowly stroking a digit across the back of Ed’s pampered hands, “You wear fine things well”

 


 

You wear fine things well

 

Ed was certain his heart had stopped. Did Stede really think his rough hands were deserving of such treatment? That Ed was worthy of fine things? He hardly knew the man, but with that expression, that affectionate twinkle in his eye, Ed was inclined to believe him. The two indulged each other in glorious eye contact before Stede seemed to remember he was in his place of work, and snapped back to reality. 

 

“Well! We’ve got one more step to finish the treatment off! Would you like to try a lotion?”

 

Ed nodded as Stede hurried away, only to return with a handful of mini bottles. Stede offered a variety of scents, a fruity, floral, and vanilla based option. Ed chose vanilla without hesitation. 

 

Stede smiled, as if he knew he would pick that exact fragrance, and squirted a dollop into Ed’s palm. “I can’t help but noticing you have a preference for sweetness,”

 

Ed flushed slightly “ ‘Fraid so. Always had a sweet tooth. I even take seven sugars in my tea,” The last part had slipped out so naturally, he cleared his throat in embarrassment. Why would Stede care how he took his tea?

 

But the blonde man just chuckled, and replied just above a whisper, “Good to know.”

 


 

Once the sugary concoction had been successfully rubbed into Ed’s thoroughly-spoiled hands, he requested that Stede bag up a square of the soap to take home. He wasn’t sure if repeating the experience on his own would be nearly as enjoyable, but felt he needed a souvenir of the experience. Not wanting to leave, he agreed to let Stede show him around the rest of the store. The salesman seemed all too eager, convincing him to also purchase a large, pink powdery cake batter scented sphere (a bath bomb, Stede had called it)  and a vial of hair oil. 

 

“For your gorgeous locks!” Stede had stated, pressing the tube into Ed’s hands as if it was a no-brainer that his hair also deserved some TLC. He then led him to the register and proceeded to bag up the treasures into recycled paper bags.

 

“So,” Stede didn’t look up from his bagging as he spoke. “Will any of these be a gift? For a…girlfriend…perhaps?” Was this man trying to figure out if he was single

 

“Nah, girlfriends aren’t really my thing,” Ed responded, as calmly as he could. “Don’t have a boyfriend , though”

 

“Oh!” the other man looked up in… relief ? “I see…”

 

Now that Stede had sussed him out, it was only fair Ed got some answers in return. “How ‘bout you? Bring home any extra samples to your…partner?”

 

“No partner at the moment. Only an ex-wife. Lovely woman, just wasn’t comfortable in a married state. I don’t think wives are…my thing.” 

 

Oh. Wow, okay

 

“Oops! Sorry to ramble, your total is $35.50. I know it’s a little pricey, so I went ahead and gave you the friends & family discount. Don’t worry, I can do that, I’m the manager.” Stede winked.

 

This man was too much. 

 

“Wow, thank you. And, thanks for all your help, Stede .” Ed savored the name on his lips. It really was a lovely name.

 

“It was a pleasure, Ed .” He smiled brightly into their shared eye contact as they waited for the receipt to print. Stede ripped off the bit of paper and went to hand it over to Ed, then paused and brought it down to the register counter with one hand, fishing a pen out of a tin of writing utensils by the till with the other.

 

“You know…” Stede started softly, scribbling something onto the back of the receipt, “It’s ok if this isn’t your thing, but there’s a wonderful cafe down the road that serves the finest English Breakfast blend in town. Lovely with a splash of milk. I bet it would be even lovelier with seven sugars… if you’d like to accompany me sometime?”

 

He handed the slip of paper out to Ed, looking a bit nervous. Ed was kind of glad to see that this incredible man also had lapses of confidence. And when he looked down at the receipt, he realized why.

 

Written in neat, bubbly font, were ten numbers and the words “ Call me? -Stede :)

 

A phone number. Now it was Ed’s turn to beam. 

 

“Love to.” 

 

The two men made eye contact for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour, and like every time before it felt so right. Ed hoped this was only the beginning of much more contact to come.

Notes:

I am weak for Stede pampering Ed! Would love to continue this and rating may change, perhaps a chapter of Stede giving Ed a scalp massage and hair brushing with that hair oil? Or some smut? Could Lush lotion work as lube (lmao) ??

Also, be honest, you’ve tasted Lush soap before!