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Everything about this setting was unnatural.
It was a Friday, after work hours at that. Aside from being illuminated by the cloudy moonlight, Café Uzumaki was fairly brightly lit up by lamps. The large, arched windows provided the perfect view of the full moon; it's shape being reflected as miniature moons in glasses of water and cups of black tea.
For a change, the ambience was silent. As per usual, a fairly small group of Armed Detective Agency members were seated in the corner booth, all the way in the back. These Agency members had their office right a few floors above the café. It was really no wonder that they frequented here so much. Of course, certain members had also somehow managed to rack up a huge pending tab.
Today, the members spending their time so leisurely here happened to be one of the better ones. A former math teacher, a doctor, the Agency's genius detective and the jumpy, light-haired newest recruit. They were all silent, enjoying their drinks and snacks by themselves.
Ten minutes later, bells dinged as the door to the café opened, and in stepped yet another member of the Agency. Donning a tan windbreaker, and wrapped in bandages, Dazai Osamu hurried to take his seat at one of the booths; the second one from the main door.
In his haste, he seemed to have failed to notice the presence of his co-workers.
Strangely enough, Dazai appeared to be occupied with something. Once having taken his seat, he was quick to ask the waitress for two hot chocolates; clearly an indication that he was expecting to be joined by someone. While waiting for his beverages, he took to setting up a few things on the table.
First up was a miniature bouquet of red camellias. This was followed by a nervous order made to the waitress, requesting two blueberry pastries as well. The ordered food was set out on the table soon enough, but till then, Dazai was seen to snip off a few of his bandages, before proceeding to... Try and braid them?
Try, being the keyword.
Soon enough, everything appeared to be in place. Right in time too, because the door to the café opened once again, the bells ringing louder this time. The newcomer was of short stature, donning a hat, and his coat flowing in behind him. His bright red hair and vibrant blue eyes stuck out immediately, especially to the café staff; this was their first time seeing the infamous gravity manipulator, after all.
As for the Agency members, who were silently watching this whole situation; they were rather quick in recognising this person. Of course, it was Nakahara Chuuya. One of the executives of the Port Mafia, a formerly rival organisation of the Detective Agency, and presently an organisation in an allied truce.
Apparently, the mafioso had opened the door a little too loudly, because he paused to softly apologise to the door, before continuing to walk. A little surprisingly, he stopped right in front of Dazai's table, choosing to stare at him and raise his eyebrows,
"What the fuck is this? I was in a mission in fucking Harajuku, you know?"
Dazai's voice sounded nervous to anyone who knew him, as he laughed softly, "Well in that case, I hope you brought me souvenirs."
Chuuya scoffed, as he took his seat opposite to his rival, "I was going to, but then someone called me asking me to meet him immediately. That's fine, but why here?"
Dazai shrugged, "It's closest to my workplace, ne? I'm too lazy to walk anywhere else."
Observing from a few tables behind, Yosano could easily tell that that was a lie. The bouquet of camellias served as proof enough. After all, there were no flower stores in the near vicinity of the Detective Agency offices.
Apparently, Chuuya had the same thought process, from the way his eyes landed on the flowers, before his lips curving up into a faint smirk. He beckoned towards the bouquet, "Right. What's this about then?"
Dazai whined loudly, "Don't rush me, Chuuya! I'm not ready yet!"
His rival groaned, "You-! Fine. Take all the time you need. Just try to get it over with before it's closing time for the café, alright?"
Dazai muttered something softly under his breath, before speaking aloud and pointing to the pastries, "Why don't you try some of that hot chocolate and that pastry till then?"
Already taking a sip, "Are you paying?"
Dazai nodded indignantly, "Of course!"
An addition about two heartbeats later, "With Chuuya's card, yes."
The mafioso rolled his eyes, "Mooch."
And that was the end of conversation for a while. The infamous duo known as Double Black, silently sat there in Café Uzumaki, enjoying their hot drinks and cakes, yet occasionally conversing with their eyes.
Somewhere between Chuuya taking his last sip of the hot chocolate, and finishing the last crumb of his blueberry pastry, Dazai decided to finally just get over with it.
Steeling himself, he declared a little too loudly, "Oi, Nakahara Chuuya-kun~ Will you marry me?"
The silence in the room was unnerving. Even the Agency members had completely stilled in their booth, probably watching with bated breath as the drama unfolded right in front of their eyes. The lack of conversations didn't last very long, however.
A few seconds later, Chuuya deadpanned in response, "Hell no."
He added immediately after, "Who the fuck would want to marry you?"
Of course, such a declaration couldn't help but attract horrified, and more importantly, loud, gasps from a particular table behind theirs. It was this point that Dazai finally realised the presence of few of his co-workers in the café.
He stared at their blank faces for a few seconds before turning back to face his rival. In a very offended voice, "What do you mean hell no? Isn't that rude! Should you be so rude to your beloved partner, Chuuya?!"
Chuuya huffed, "What beloved partner! You're a very shitty partner!"
Dazai whined, "But I am your partner, ne?"
A very disappointed nod, "Well, yes."
Dazai complained again, "Then shouldn't you say yes! This is so mean, Chuuya! I even got you these cute red flowers and a ring!"
Chuuya stared at him incredulously, "Where the fuck is this ring you speak of? I don't see one."
Dazai paused, understanding dawning, "Oh, I see! I forgot to bring out the ring. That's where I went wrong."
Further, he went ahead to dig through his pockets to find the ring he spoke of so fondly. Within seconds, a circular piece of braided bandages was presented to Chuuya, "Ta-da. Here's your ring. Now say yes quickly."
Chuuya stared at the ring, incredulity shining in his expression, "Dazai. Is that a fucking bandage. Did you just try to pass off a fucking bandage as my engagement ring?"
Dazai huffed quietly, "I forgot to buy a ring. Go easy on me, Slug."
Chuuya stood up, "Hell no. I'm out of here. I deserve so much better than this."
Before things could spiral more out of control, Yosano decided that it was clearly time for her to intervene. Getting up from her seat and walking a little closer to this ridiculous duo, she spoke aloud, "Wait, wait. Hold on."
Dazai looked at her gratefully, "Yosano-sensei."
Chuuya nodded at her, "Yo."
Yosano started, "Dazai, you idiot. I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to propose to... Your boyfriend?"
Chuuya nodded, confirming such an offensive accusation, "Boyfriend. For seven years now."
Yosano sighed dramatically, "And for seven years too?! Dazai, that's really not how you're supposed to propose!"
Behind her, Ranpo joined in the conversation too, "Yeah. I don't think you watched enough romance movies for research, Dazai."
Dazai huffed at his co-workers, "That is not true! I researched properly, okay?"
Before any of them could say anything else, Kunikida interjected, clearly aghast, "Uh. Does that mean Dazai is dating Nakahara-san?"
Chuuya promised very seriously, "Not for long, don't worry, Kunikida-kun. This is clearly not working."
Dazai gasped in horror, "Chuuya! You can't say that! My heart will properly break at this rate, you know?!"
Kunikida protested weakly, "Are we just... Not going to question this?"
Yosano turned to him and glared, "There are clearly more important things to focus on, Kunikida-kun! You don't want to witness a break-up, do you? Especially of a seven year-long relationship at that?!"
Calming herself, she turned back to the mafioso, "Why don't you think about this again, hotshot executive?"
Chuuya raised his eyebrows at her, "Say, Yosano-san. Suppose you long term partner proposes to you with a piece of bandage as a ring. And the only thing he says is, 'will you marry me', no declaration of love to be heard anywhere. Would you marry them?"
Yosano snorted a little too amusedly, "Oh hell no. I'd get out of there so fast. I deserve better than that."
Chuuya nodded triumphantly, "Exactly! Doesn't that apply to me too?"
Dazai gasped some more, feigning hurt at being betrayed, "Yosano-sensei, how could you!"
The doctor ignored him, choosing to continue speaking to her former enemy instead, "But this is Dazai we're talking about. And if you've been able to put up with him for all these years, maybe you should reconsider. Atsushi-kun, tell him."
Having been dragged into the conversation out of nowhere, the weretiger yelped nervously, "Um! Chuuya-san, sure Dazai-san isn't the easiest person to deal with, but-"
As expected, Dazai interrupted him with a very offended shriek, "Excuse me?!"
Atsushi continued, sweating his fur off, "But I'm sure he loves you a lot, to even consider proposing, so... Maybe you should really reconsider!"
Chuuya stared at his partner's new protégé for a few seconds, before dropping his shoulders. Shaking his head gently, he couldn't help but laugh. Turning to Dazai, he beckoned towards the back door of the café, a fond smile hinting upon his face, "Oi, shitty Dazai. Follow me."
That was all that was said, before the mafia executive dragged his rival out of the door by his bandaged wrist. Finding themselves in an alley right behind the Agency office building, they finally stopped. Unfit as ever, Dazai took to leaning against the brick wall immediately, catching his breath.
Here, the moonlight was a little obstructed by the top edge of this building, that housed both, Café Uzumaki and the Armed Detective Agency Offices. Yet, the light was more than enough to illuminate the empty alleyway, which was suspiciously too clean.
Deciding that this setting was good enough, Chuuya dropped to one knee, but not before setting his hat and his gloves aside. His bare hands had just found bandaged ones, when the detective spoke in awe, "Oh my, Chuuya-kun. Are you proposing?"
The mafioso snorted, "Shut the fuck up. You're so annoying."
Dazai hummed, "And yet Chuuya loves me so much."
Chuuya sighed, "I do."
Dazai giggled right then and there, "The 'I Do' is for the wedding, Chibi. Not the proposal."
The mafioso declared, "I'm not above kicking you in the balls, babe. Don't test me."
His partner laughed aloud, "Noted. I'll let you continue then."
Accompanied by a roll of his eyes, Chuuya's hands found themselves slipping a solid black ring onto his partner's left ring finger. Having done that, Chuuya leaned forward to kiss the scarred hands he adored so much, one that now wore a ring. Chuuya's ring, and one that was fit to be called an engagement ring. Not a shitty piece of bandage, damn it!
That aside, Chuuya now decided to settle on a short yet sweet speech for his proposal. Gazing up at his rival, he began, "Even if you're really very annoying, and propose with shitty bandage rings, like you said, I love you so much. I don't think I could ever live without you, shitty Dazai. And I don't even want to imagine such a situation.
That said, as you already know, I'm already a Port Mafia executive. I literally have no other ambitions in my life, other than being annoyed you for the rest of it. So, you should be nice and ensure that happens, no matter what, already."
Standing up, and intertwining and his fingers with his soon-to-be fiancé's, Chuuya offered him a simple smile, "Marry me, shitty Dazai."
Somewhat expectedly, Dazai was looking absolutely everywhere except right at Chuuya. His face was way too red for someone who had himself decided to do the proposing part, he appeared to be absolutely flustered. His hands shaking and his eyes watering ever so lightly, he finally questioned in a choked-up voice, "Do you just, keep a ring on you?"
Chuuya burst out laughing immediately, "Sometimes. Is that a yes, shitty Dazai?"
Dazai huffed, "The ring is already on my finger, so you can't take back your proposal anyway."
Chuuya laughed some more before reaching up on his tiptoes to kiss the other, "I wasn't planning to. I love you, you know?"
Dazai whispered in the softest of voices, "I love Chuuya too."
Such a touching moment was, as expected, interrupted by Yosano and Ranpo, who finally lost their balance and fell out of the nook from where there watching the whole scene, snacks in their hands, of course.
As the Double Black duo stared at them, Yosano nodded in all seriousness, "Congratulations, bitches."
Ranpo added, "Celebratory ramen for everyone; you guys in?"
Dazai and Chuuya couldn't help but laugh as they followed the former's colleagues back into Café Uzumaki. Their voices sounded naturally happy as they spoke before taking their seats, "Thank you, Yosano-sensei, Ranpo-san."
-
Mini Omake
During the much required celebrations on the occasion of Double Black's engagement, Yosano was positive that she was the only one who'd noticed a really unexpected thing about the two of them. Of course, Dazai was wearing his newly acquired black engagement ring.
But as for Chuuya, despite his many complaints, the braided bandage ring still rested on his left ring finger. It was right over his gloves for now, but wasn't that just such a cute gesture?! In Yosano's eyes, this was proof enough that the gravity manipulator actually did really love her very useless, very annoying co-worker.
Well, that and also the fact that Chuuya actually somehow had an engagement ring on him? Was that normal?
That aside, Yosano was also positive that Dazai was aware of Chuuya indulging him and wearing his ring, as well. After all, she observed that genius' eyes linger on Chuuya's left hand on more than one occasion.
And of course, Dazai had never quite sparkled this much before.